Janto and jangelo – disclaimer: I don't own.
Running. It's the worst secret of all. The shame, the cowardice, the fear. And every time you run, you leave a little part of yourself behind, so, now that you've run so many times, you can feel yourself beginning to crumble.
Because it's not the running from the monsters which gets to you. that shame, that cowardice, that fear you can deal with. It's the running from the people you love. From the people that love you. because you know they're going to die, and when they do, they'll kill you too. That's what they do – men like that. They kill you.
Men like Angelo. Men like Ianto. And countless others (but they're not countless, are they? Because you counted. All 473 of them. And the part that kills you the most is that you don't remember them. Most of them, you probably wouldn't recognise if you saw them in the street. At the time, when you tried so hard to forget, you couldn't. and now, when you try so hard to remember, you can't. it's a cruel world, isn't it? One of the cruellest).
The running is bad enough, but it's worse when you don't. because that's when you have to watch them die. Like Angelo. Like Ianto. And so when the time comes to run, you do. you run like you've never run before (but you have – countless times. And it is countless, because you don't count the number of people you run from). You run like death itself is chasing you. And you run and you run and you run. And you never look back. Because you know the pain is worth it –
even if it kills you.
Thoughts?
xx