Well, isnt this just hilarious. I'm not DEAD :'D
Its been what, almost six years since I've uploaded anything?
And to top it off I changed my pen name to coincide nicely with my DA account, oh the lolz.
Anyways, there's some important author and copywrite crap I need you guys to understand!
So, me n' my bestie decided to co-author a Hetalia fanfic! Crazy right?
So, she has done most of the writing so far, but I hope to familiarize myself with the characters before I start to do anything really important like. ;) I HAVE, however, helped out with the plot and such (ahem and I believe it was my idea to begin with..) and as a result DanzQueenB has allowed me to post it to fanfiction, and she to DA (If you want a link to her page{or mine *wink wink*} please PM me)
Ironically we came up with this idea in our AP math class while we were *ahem* working diligently.
I don't want to bore you, so without further adieu,
Neither DanzQueenB nor I own Hetalia or any of its characters.. though if we did... just kidding. We do own the story though!
Welcome to the crazed minds of Arigato-Okami and DanzQueenB.
Why Hetalians Shouldn't Play Sports
Chapter 1
"Ve~!Doitsu! Help me!" Feliciano hid behind his best friend, "Arthur's trying to make me eat his horrible food!"
"Hey!" The angry Brit approached with a plate of... something. What it was will never be known.
"I tried my best!"
Ludwig sighed,
"Arthur, why are you trying to force him to eat it?" Arthur cringed,
"It's for Home Ec class and he's my partner!"
What seems to be ze problem here?" Francis, originally from France, slung his arm over Arthur's shoulder. Arthur pushed him away,
"Don't try to be the hero, frog!"
"Yeah! Cause that's my job!" Alfred, the cocky American jock appeared suddenly, "What's up Artie?"
"Don't call me that! Bloody moron."
"He's trying to force Feli to eat his cooking." Ludwig sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.
"Oooh! Better grab the stomach pump!" Alfred joked, laughing loudly until Arthur elbowed him roughly in the ribs.
"What is going on here?" Kiku, a small Japanese boy, appeared with his textbooks in hand.
"Your friends made fun of Arthur's cooking." Francis explained.
"But we didn't-" Feliciano started, but Ludwig interrupted him,
"Ja, and vat are you going to do about it?"
"Are we picking a fight?" Ivan, the creepy Russian boy who seemed to always carry a lead pipe on his person, was walking by the door with Kiku's cousin Yao, "Can we join, da?"
"Fights are so immature, aru." Yao shook his head.
"We are not fighting." Kiku protested.
"Let's settle this once and for all!" Alfred exclaimed loudly.
"Is this all over Arthur-san's cooking?" Kiku asked timidly, " Because if it is, I aporogize on Ludwig and Feliciano's behalf." The Japanese would have bowed but Ludwig stopped him.
"Nein Kiku, this is over ze fact that these five arschlöcher(1) picked on us... vell, mostly Feliciano... since we started coming here." The German cracked his knuckles, "Vhat makes you think you are better than us?"
"My sexy 'air of course!" Francis replied, flipping said hair.
"Because I'm the hero!" Alfred yelled, fist pumping. Arthur dead-panned.
"Because of my Hello Kitty lunch box, aru!"
"Become one with me and you'll be cool!" Ivan said, eyes glinting darkly.(2)
Ludwig stared blankly at the group.
"Vell, ve von't take it anymore."
"Then we challenge you to a duel!" Francis cried, before drawing a glove out of..somewhere explicit*cough* and slapping Ludwig across the face dramatically.
"Why would you hit Doitsu?" Feliciano cried.
"What? It iz a tradition Française!"
"Whatever! We, like, totally challenge you to a competition!" Alfred eyes blazed at the thought of a good competition.
"Ve accept!" Ludwig nodded.
"We do?" Kiku and Feliciano looked at each other disbelievingly.
"It will be a games competition." Alfred explained, "us five against you three!"
"Five against three?" Ludwig raised an eyebrow.
"Ve! That's not fair!" Feliciano whined.
"Fine, we will go three versus three with two substitutes." Yao said, nodding decisively.
"Best out of ten games, da?" Ivan grinned eerily.(3)
"If we win, you have to eat Artie's cooking for a month!" Alfred laughed.
"Hey!"
"And if we win, you have to do our homework for a month!" Ludwig proposed.
"What? NO! You do it yourself!" Arthur crossed his arms defiantly, " As President of the student Council I will not-"
"Your food tastes like bad wurst!" Ludwig interrupted.
"Bring it on you stupid wanker!" Francis and Alfred had to hold the furious Brit back so he didn't permanently disfigure the German.
"We will begin tomorrow." Yao said.
"But what game will we play?" Feliciano asked.
"I have an idea," Alfred announced, "And as the hero, I get first dibs on the first game!"
"Fine zen." Ludwig agreed, "May ze better team vin."
"Which will be us!" Alfred let go of the still fuming Arthur and grinned his trademark 'Blinding Smile of Heroism'.
"We shall be known as the 'Awesome Llamas (who) Like Icecream Every Sunday, or Allies for short!" He flashed another blinding smile and a thumbs up.
Ve vill be team Axis." Ludwig decided without the consent of Kiku or Feliciano, seeing as Alfred had not either.
"Let the games begin!"
"Hey Lovi!" Thee cheerful Spaniard, Antonio, glomped Feliciano's older, grumpier brother.
"Get off me you bastard!" Lovino tried, in vain, to shake him off.
"Did you hear?" Antonio asked excitedly, "About the big competition? Francis-"
"Si, si." Lovino was finally able to shake him off, "Mio fratello(4) won't shut up about it."
"Let's make a bet, Lovi!"
"No!" Lovino rejected the idea quickly.
"Why not?" Antonio pouted, " If you win, I'll let you have all the tomatoes from the Garden Club. We have a huge crop this year and-"
"Alright, alright, we can make a stupid bet." Lovino agreed begrudgingly.
"Well, I bet that the Allies will win hands down!" Antonio grinned.
"As if! The Axis will win!" Lovino paused, frowning, "Even if that Potato bastard is on the team."
"Great! So if I win," Antonio smirked devilishly, "You have to kiss me." Lovino ridded him of the smirk by punching him.
"Fottuto pervertito!(5)" Lovino couldn't hide the blush on his cheeks, "That will never happen!"
Wow, okay, some major shizz just went down! hahaha
So, a note for you all, I use google translate for any of the languages other than French and English
(Ahem I am a proud bilingual Canadian! WoOT! )
And also, I tried my hand at writing accents, so if I failed epically, please let me know!
Watch for dat numbered stuff okay!
(1) is a translation of 'Assholes' in German. If its wrong please PM or review with the correct term. you can never truly trust Google translate. ;_;
(2) I'm gonna have nightmares about that for years I'm sure. Aha!
(3) Why did I think of the Joker just then? Why so serious?
(4)My brother - Italian
(5) You fucking pervert! - Italian