A/N: Well then,I was actually suppose to write USUK but the plot bunny died and I couldn't savage what was left of it anymore. Then this came up. I can't say the best idea I came up with but im just itching to write and my plot bunnies all die before I get the chance to so yeah. It's just me on crack. This is actually reuploaded because people bugged me about the violation of rules and stuff and they're right. So im taking my time to edit every thing over.

Summary: When both Antonio and Lovino heard of sex but doesn't know how it works. Awkwardness is ensured.

Pairing: SpaMano

Disclaimer: I own nothing except my writing. If I did,all the awesome fics would have been animated.

When One is Too Innocent

"Lovi?" Antonio turned his attention from the television to his fiery Italian boyfriend next to him who was reading a magazine. "What is it, bastard?" Lovino answered boredly, still reading and not bothering to look up. It was probably something stupid anyways.

"Today when I was out with Francis and Gilbert we had this conversation I didn't really understand that much," the Spaniard said, starting to look confused when he thought about it. The Italian finally decided to look up from his magazine and took off his reading glasses."That's probably because you're an idiot." That made the happy-go-lucky man pout and start protesting.

"But Loviiiiiii~~ You probably won't understand it either..."

"Try me then tomato bastard. And stop calling me Lovi dammit!"

"They were talking about something call sex~ I still don't really understand that much though~"

Lovino hated to admit, he didn't quite understand what sex was and looked puzzled. No one gave him the 'talk'and he only ever heard of it once when Francis was giving his air headed brother some tips on how to seduce his potato eating bastard of a boyfriend. Antonio saw the utterly confused look on Lovino's face and started chuckling only to get a headbutt from the flustered boyfriend.

"Shut the fuck up bastard!" Lovino yelled,blushing from embarrassment.

"Lo siento mi tomate~" Antonio just laughed and rubbed the spot on his chest where the Italian had landed his headbutt. "I'll try to explain what Francis and Gilbert said so you can understand~"

"F-Fine bastard... It better be a good explanation," he huffed.

"They were laughing when I asked what sex was and they went to get a sugary doughnut and a wurst. I'm not really sure why at first but it has something to do with their odd explanation," he made hand gestures showing his confused boyfriend the shape of the food items. Lovino just raised an eyebrow. "They made the wurst go through the doughnut or something. I wasn't quite listening since I was thinking about what I should make for dinner today but it had something to do with putting something in a hole somewhere and both partners feel good and love each other more," he chuckled.

"You dumbass! What sort of explanation was that?!" Well,that wasn't the best explanation in the world for our oblivious Spaniard and Italian is it? They were still as confused as ever.

"Lovi?" Antonio suddenly looked serious. Lovino tensed up, seeing his usually cheerful boyfriend suddenly look so serious. It is a pretty rare sight after all. "W-What, bastard?" he gulped.

"They also said people who love each other do this. Should we...?" he stared at the other intently.

"Why would I-" the Italian stopped mid sentence when Antonio made that kicked puppy face. "F-Fine..." he huffed. I mean, who can say no to that face?

"Bueno!" he tackled the other in a hug, laughing all the way.

"Wait dammit! You said you didn't even know how this works! Don't look at me dammit! I have no clue you got that?!"

This certainly got the Spaniard thinking for a few moments. Both men thought about it for quite a bit until Antonio broke the silence. "They said hole right? Lovi, nostrils are holes~" he cheered for his newfound knowledge. ( I know you readers out there are facepalming. Don't deny it. )

"That doesn't sound right..."

"Aww Lovi~ Let's just give it a try~ Maybe it be just like picking someone's nose~ And we'll love each other forever and ever~"

"That doesn't make any sense bastard but fine... If it doesn't work then no churros for a week dammit!"

And so, here we have Antonio pushing a finger up poor Lovi's nostril. Lovi just made a really annoyed face at him from irritation. "That's totally wrong bastard..." he twitched, watching Antonio starting to back away from his oncoming wrath. "Lo siento Lovi! Don't kill me please! Te amo, mi tomate!"

"Stop calling me your tomato dammit!" he head-butted poor Antonio again.

Let's look on the bright side though, at least they love each other is all that matters. Who needs sex when you got amore~?

Ciao~

A/N: There, that's over and done with. Im finally not on crack anymore. Do leave a review,si? I'll be off studying for my exam now. There's something I want to clarify. A nice reader told me that this fic is based off a doujin. Well it's not something I was aware of actually since I never actually read it before but I thought it be better to give some credit. Thanks for telling me and giving me the link. ;) Seriously,if I could I would say thank you in every language known to the world. Well here's the link for the actual doujin

yumekotan. tumblr post/ 33189955561 /they-dont-know-how

Just take out the spaces. Well that's the end of my note here.