"Far From Sanity"
Summary: PreBDM. The crew of Serenity are sent to retrieve the largest diamond in the 'verse from an Alliance ship.
Disclaimer: These wonderful characters were not created from my imagination so therefore I do not own them.
Author's Note: Enjoy! xD
BANG. BANG. BANG.Mal fired off another round at the fighters covered in odd tattoos supposedly creating a "don't mess with me" feeling.
"Jayne, pass me a grenade," he shouted over the gunfire. Jayne delicately handed over one of the many grenades while shooting Vera randomly into the midst of the opposing men. "As soon as this grenade blows, run back to the ship."
"Sir, what about our payment?" Zoe said with concern as she remembered the little gas left.
"Never doubt my commands," grinned Mal, proudly holding up a pouch filled with money. He tossed the explosive device straight into a large gathering of soldiers. The loud bang was drowned out by screams.
"RUN!" Mal said, though there was no point. Jayne pounded into the cargo bay like a quick footed oaf while Zoe gracefully raced inside and slammed her fist against the "close" button. Mal leaped through the shutting door and landed flat on his back.
"I hate it when those hun-dans don't wanna see their money fly away," he chuckled on the ground
.-------------------------------
Mal felt thoroughly pleased with himself. He'd managed to successfully pull off a tricky heist with a few minor complications and no one was hurt. Well maybe a bullet graze or two, but that didn't count.
"Earth-that-was to Mal? Do us proud thieves have a destination?"
Mal blinked back at Wash. "Beaumonde, it's close. Avoid alliance without running out of gas."
"Yes, sir," said Wash while saluting the captain. Mal grunted at Wash's ridiculous antics and headed to the mess.
"Hey captain," smiled Kaylee.
"Hello, sunshine. How's my ship doing?"
"She's mighty shiny, captain. Not one broke part."
"Good. Keep it that way, dong ma?"
"Sure thing, captain," Kaylee grinned as Zoe entered the room looking all business-like and emotionless as possible.
"Do we have a course, sir?" she asked. "Beaumonde. I'm sure there's work to be found."
"Sir, our contacts at Beaumonde retired their operations."
"Ah. Well, we need gas.'
"That we do, sir."
"We'll find something."
"Of course, sir." Zoe left for the bridge to see Wash about a few loose buttons on her shirt. Mal glanced after her sourly. Half-heartedly, he poured himself a cup of tea. While he blew the steam emitting from the cup, what seemed to be an earthquake shook the room and spilled the hot liquid across his shirt.
"Go-se!" cursed Mal under his breath.
"Gorram it, Simon!" yelled Jayne as he entered the room quickly followed by a flustered Doctor.
"River was just having a little fun."
"Fun?! That gorram crazy girl aint fun!'
"Just a few ribbons won't do you any harm."
"It won't do me any harm to break a few of her girly fingers."
"I guess forgiving isn't part of your culture from that barbaric planet you came from."
"Did they teach your how ta fight on that rich planet? Or did ya just learn to use fancy words?"
"What in the gorram 'verse is going on?" demanded Mal.
"River decorated Jayne's room," said Simon.
"That's not decoratin'!" shouted Jayne.
"Ribbons and bows are definitely decorations."
"Not in my room!"
"Your room needed it."
"Do ya wanna repeat that?"
"Too bad she didn't make your room smell better."
"You gou-shi dui, I'll-"
"Now look here," said Mal, "let's not fight over a few bows. Jayne, maybe you should let River put a few ribbons in your hair to make your face prettier as well."
As the gathered crew burst out laughing, Jayne decided they were all psychotic and stormed off.
"You are mighty cheery, captain," giggled Kaylee.
"I had a good day," replied Mal with a smile.
Translations:
dong ma: understand
hun-dan: son of a bitch
go-se: crap
gorram: damn
gou-shi dui: pile of dog crap