--Author's Note--
This is a kinda crack fic, I decided to make it out of nowhere. It's heavily based on real-life events that have happened to me. But, I hope you like it all the same
xXOneKnuxXx
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Roxas winced and hissed in pain as the blade ran over his arm, the skin splitting and blood flowing, running around his wrist and dripping onto the bedroom carpet. He was adding a new layer of the crimson liquid to the already covered razor blade. Roxas' hand lingered over the cut before moving down and repeating the process. He did for most of the afternoon, continuing up his arm and stopping just below his elbow. The front door slammed and a cheerful voice rang upstairs:
"Roxas! I'm home!"
It was Axel, Roxas' long time crush and now lover. He had gone out pretty much all day on his weekly catch-up with the other Organization members. Roxas had opted out this time – he needed some time alone. He put his wristband back on, gritting his teeth, and then changed into a long sleeved top before heading downstairs and placing a happy façade over his face.
"Hey Axel!" he jumped the last few steps and into his partner's arms.
"How ya been squirt?" the redhead asked, ruffling the younger blond's hair.
"I've been okay, nothing special"
"'Kay. I'm gonna go upstairs and get changed."
Roxas would have raised an objection, but he realised the suspicion that doing so would arouse. He just had to stand there and hope something had fallen to cover his blood. It was only a short while after when Axel returned, exchanging his Organization attire for a much more casual outfit, although half of it was missing – he'd chosen to go topless. He'd only taken a step past Roxas before Axel span round, grabbed his uke and pinned him to the wall, pressing down on his wrists. Roxas winced again and Axel pressed down harder, bringing the blond to the verge of tears.
"You've done it again haven't you?"
Tears now rolled down Roxas' face, but still he denied it.
"You know you can't hide things from me Roxas."
He dropped his head, blond spikes curling forwards slightly. He tried to pull his arms free but failed; his seme's strength far higher than his own, causing a lot of agony in the process. Roxas eventually gave in and weakly mumbled a "Yes" to the floor. Axel released his grip slightly.
"You promised me Roxas..."
Roxas merely continued to stare at the floor in complete silence, tears splashing onto the tiles.
"You promised me last time..."
The last time he's referring to is a few months ago, 3 to be exact. Roxas had been out for the morning with Sora, Riku and Kairi. He came home around lunchtime, belted up the stairs and into the bathroom crying. Axel heard the lock click and poked his head out of the bedroom.
"Roxas?"
No answer.
"Did you have a good time?"
Still no reply. He walked over to the bathroom and knocked quietly.
"You in there Rox?"
"Go away Axel!"
"What's up?"
"Just go!!"
He did as he was told and left his lover alone.
Xx.--.xX
It was about an hour later when Roxas came out, still wearing an utterly depressive frown on his face. He went downstairs and into the kitchen, presumably for a coffee. Half and hour passed before Axel came out of the bedroom again. Noticing the bathroom door open and hearing the faint sound of the kettle boiling, (it was the third time since Roxas went downstairs) it was easy to tell something was wrong. Roxas always went on a caffeine binge when he was feeling down. The pyromaniac went downstairs to see if he could help. He found his other half in the front room, in his usual place on the window ledge, cup of coffee in hand, staring out at the marketplace. (The two had a place in Hollow Bastion) Roxas hadn't noticed Axel enter the room. He went over to him, wrapping his arms around Roxas and placing his head on the blond's back. Roxas chose to ignore this at first, but soon relaxed and leant back into Axel's embrace.
"I'm sorry..." he whispered, almost inaudible.
"What for?"
"This..."
He rolled back his sleeve to reveal 3 little lines across his wrist, blood dripping ever so slowly from each of them.
"Roxas..."
"I'm so sorry..."
"Why?"
"Those three have ditched me..."
"Those three - oh, you mean Sora and those guys?"
Roxas nodded.
"Why did they ditch you?"
"They didn't say, just...left..."
He began to cry again. Axel pulled down his sleeve and wiped away most of the tears, wrapping his other arm tighter around Roxas, almost protectively.
"If it's any help, you still have me ya know..."
"Thank you Axel..."
Roxas turned around to face Axel. He was going to add to that, but Axel stopped him, inching his face closer.
"Just promise me you'll never do this again..."
And he took Roxas in a kiss.
Xx.--.xX
"You did...you promised me..."
Axel had too begun to cry, his tears joining those of Roxas on the floor below them. He gently let go of the blond in front of him and placed him on the floor.
"I know I did...I'm so sorry..."
He collapsed forwards, resting his head on Axel's shoulder, tears still flowing steadily. Axel wrapped his arms around Roxas, holding him close.
"I'm just so sorry Axel..."
"I know you are Roxas." He replied, stroking the back of Roxas' head affectionately. "You don't have to tell me."
"But..."
"But nothing. Just...show me what you've done."
Roxas reluctantly lifted his left arm, rolled up the sleeve and pulled off the wristband. Blood was still fresh on his skin. There must have been about 10 slits running along his arm like rungs on a ladder. Axel leaned in for a closer look, running his finger along one of the cuts, Roxas howling in pain as he did.
"You went fairly deep, didn't you?"
Biting his lip, the blond nodded. Axel took the finger with the blood and rubbed it together with his thumb, as if he were a detective searching for something.
"What made you do it this time?" Now it was a full-blown investigation.
"I...dunno. I was thinking back to that time, 3 months ago, when it started, and things just went from there."
"Didn't I tell you that you still had me?"
"Yeah, but it wasn't enough this time I guess."
Axel stepped in front of Roxas again, with some deliberation.
"What the hell possessed you to go this far though!?!" His eyes were watering with tears, ready to spill once again. He looked at the boy stood in front of him, staring him in the eyes, demanding an answer without uttering another word.
"I don't know...but I feel so stupid for doing it now..."
Axel retracted a little and gave up staring him full in the face, giving the kid some room. Roxas' bottom lip quivered slightly and he burst into tears again. With his spare thumb, the not-covered-in-blood one, Axel began to slowly wipe away the droplets until there were no more to be seen. His thumb gently moved from under Roxas' eye to his cheek, and Axel began caressing it with his thumb, leaning closer to the snivelling boy before him. Roxas looked up for a second to see the redhead's face before said male took him in a kiss, pushing them both backwards into the wall, bodies pressed together. Axel slid his tongue along the other's lower lip, asking for entrance. Roxas granted it, opening his mouth to let the other's tongue slide in. Their two tongues danced in each other's mouths, lips continuously pressing and parting. They remained as this for a few minutes, eventually parting altogether and gazing into each other's eyes, letting the afterthought linger.
Axel pecked Roxas on the cheek and walked into the kitchen, pointing to a towel beside the door, short for "get yourself cleaned up." Roxas went upstairs and did so, finding just enough plasters in the bathroom cabinet. He returned to find a steaming mug of coffee on the kitchen table, a couple of Custard Creams next to it. Axel was busy in the corner washing up some other dishes. It wasn't much, but Roxas knew how much it meant. Roxas walked over to the rubber glove-clad redhead by the sink and gently embraced him from behind, whispering a "thank you" into the small of his back before letting go and sitting at the table, watching Axel wash up and drinking his coffee, occasionally nibbling on a Custard Cream.
He finished washing up, and Axel shook the water off the gloves, peeling them from his hands and laying them on the dish-drainer. He passed Roxas and went into the front room, collapsed onto the sofa and flicked the TV on, settling in for the evening. Roxas finished his drink a few minutes later, washing the cup himself and putting it with the others on the rack. He joined Axel in front of the TV, snuggling up with him, and this is how they stayed for most of the night.
---To Be Continued---