I'm Only Me When I'm with You
Disclaimer: I don't own any recognisable Harry Potter characters – trust me, if I did, stuff like this would have happened. I also don't own Taylor Swift's song 'I'm only me when I'm with you'
Friday night beneath the stars
In a field behind your yard
You and I are painting pictures in the sky
And sometimes we don't say a thing
Just listen to the crickets sing
Everything I need is right here by my side
And I know everything about you
I don't wanna live without you
He lay beside the lake, staring up at the sky. The pressure that had been heaped upon him all his life crushed his soul and he squeezed his eyes shut, desperately trying to force his worries away. It didn't work. It never worked.
She saw his lying beside the lake, staring up at the sky, and her heart went out to him. So what if he hated everyone who wasn't pureblood like himself? He can't be blamed for what his parents told him to believe. He never had a choice.
Without even realising she was moving, she walked down to the still water and lay beside him. His eyes snapped open but, when he saw who had joined him, he smiled and closed them once more. They lay together, hands brushing gently together, until the stars turned their backs on the two students, and the sun floated smoothly into the pink morning sky.
I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you
He watched her laughing on the other side of the hall and felt a pang of crushing regret and pain cross his chest. He didn't deserve her. He knew that, and she must surely know that, so why does she insist on trying to help him? 'You cannot save what's already lost' he thought bitterly as he dragged his gaze away. But...she made him feel so different. She made him feel like he could fly high above the castle turrets and, with her by his side, they would fly away to another world. And sure, he felt panicked beyond belief whenever she was near him but he didn't hate her anymore. Instead, he hated himself for being so cruel to anyone who wasn't like him and, now more than ever, he hated his family, his blood, his destiny for making him live a life he would do anything to break free from.
He looked up again and saw her eyes, melting pools of chocolate, staring straight into his scarred soul. She raised her eyebrow slightly, so slightly that anyone who wasn't looking directly at the two students on opposite sides of the room would never have known. And in that moment, he forgot. He forgot that when he left Hogwarts that summer, his father would force him to join the Death Eaters. He forgot that everything he has, his entire being, is owned by evil. He even forgot, just for one moment, that the only reason he was born was to die, fighting a boy he wished he could be friends with, for a man who wouldn't even consider his death a sacrifice. He forgot everything for, in that one tiny second when her eyes met his, he thought, 'maybe I'm not totally lost yet'.
Just a small time boy and girl
Living in a crazy world
Trying to figure out what is and isn't true
And I don't try to hide my tears
The secrets or my deepest fears
Through it all nobody gets me like you do
And you know everything about me
You say that you can't live without me
At first, she didn't know everything about the war that would be waged on one of her best friends. She, clever though she was, didn't fully understand the point of the hatred the young Slytherin boy had been taught to carry. But she knew he wasn't a bad person. She knew he just needed help. And so she did just that. She listened while he poured out all his secrets; terrible, dark, evil secrets that no 17-year-old boy should be forced to know. She lay beside him on the grass beside the edge of the lake, night after night, as the tears dripped silently down his cheeks. She was the one person to whom he whispered his deepest fears and, in return, she told him all of hers. And sometimes she couldn't quite believe that she actually trusts him this much; the boy who, just months ago, she wouldn't have trusted to hold her bag while she tied her shoelaces now knows everything about her, and she knows everything about him. And they both know that their secrets, their dreams, even their lives, are safe with each other.
As he caught the Snitch and his house erupted with cheers, he scans the other house stands for her. His eyes finally locate hers and as icy silver meets fiery gold and she smiles slightly in congratulations as the rest of her house boos loudly, he feels his father's harsh grip on his heart and soul loosen. She slowly wormed her way into his conscience, his blood, his very being, and he knows that, now, he would never be able to live without her.
I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true
And I'm only me when I'm with you
He begins to plot. He sees the fear in his friends' eyes, sees the blotches on the letters his mother sends and imagines her broken sobs, the desperately muffled crying he grew up with, and he know what he has to do. He finally realises exactly what he was born to do. A small group of Slytherins, all in the same boat, all simply born to do nothing to die, come together as one. They agree to fight. Not for Potter, not for Voldemort, but for their families. For each other. For the future they were told they'd never have. For the life they're terrified they won't get the chance to live. They are strong, and determined, and brave. They will fight for themselves, whatever the cost, because nothing could cost them as much as fighting forVoldemort he has one more thing to fight for. He will fight for her.
When I'm with anybody else it's so hard to be myself
Only you can tell
His friends see the change in him, and start to wonder. He looks so light and free. Almost happy. And he trusts them completely, but he can't tell them yet – they can't afford to be distracted. The other houses see the difference in him as well. He hasn't picked a fight with Potter, or anyone else, in months. He hasn't called anyone 'Mudblood' in almost a year. Everyone wonders but only one person knows the truth. She's the only person he can truly be himself with. He even, slightly reluctantly, snuck out of the castle to watch a muggle film in a muggle cinema with her. When they parted in the Entrance Hall that night, inspired by the film, she gave him one of her earrings and told him that she would fight for him for as long as he would fight for her. He believed her. He attached the earring to a chain and wears it around his neck, a part of her constantly pressing against his heart.
That I'm only up when you're not down
Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground
It's like no matter what I do
Well you drive me crazy half the time;
The other half I'm only trying to let you know that what I feel is true
And I'm only me
Who I wanna be
Well I'm only me when I'm with you
With you
Uh huh
Yeah
The war was finally over. Voldemort was dead, as were many, many people from all sides of the fight. But Hermione Granger desperately waited in the Great Hall for one person only. Harry squeezed her arm and she smiled tensely, eyes never leaving the door. He said he would meet her there after the war. He promised he would come back for her, and Hermione knew with all her heart that Draco Malfoy would not break his promise, not to her. It was because of him and his friends that Harry's side had won – they had fought with bravery and talent and destroyed most of the Death Eaters, leaving Harry free to tackle Voldemort. The Slytherins were most likely to die no matter whose side they were on, and Hermione bit her lip anxiously. She was joined by the doors by Ginny, Ron and Molly Weasley but she barely acknowledged them. She would mourn the losses later, when she was sure her world was still intact. Agonising minutes passed and the doors remained firmly closed. Professor McGonagall joined the little group by the doors and whispered to Hermione.
"He'll be fine. He's the most stubborn boy I've ever taught. He won't let anyone else win".
Hermione nodded, but was rapidly losing hope. She pressed her eyes into Harry's shoulder and sobbed. Harry had been stroking her back constantly for the last ten minutes, but his hand stilled and he coughed quietly, nudging her head with his shoulder. Frowning up at him, Hermione followed his gaze to the door where she set eyes upon a bedraggled, bloody, exhausted, but very much alive figure and her heart leapt.
"Draco!" the ecstatic cry echoed around the room as she threw herself into his arms. Wincing at the contact to his crushed ribs, Draco hugged her back, closing his eyes tightly as he breathed in her musky perfume. He swayed slightly on the spot but shook off Madam Pomfrey's attempts to take him away and heal him.
"Hermione". He would never let her go again.
Author's note: Hope you guys enjoyed! Virtual cookies to anyone who reviews and comments what film Hermione and Draco watched (one of my all time favourites). I'm a brilliant baker (and so modest about it too!) so get reviewing and commenting :)