I hope this hasn't been done already. I'm still working on improving my writing, so I would appreciate reviews to let me know what I could do better. This story is about mental illness, and I hope to make it as real as possible by using my own experiences. I have been psychotic, I have taken medication, and I have been hospitalized, so I hope to portray it as accurately as I can. The next chapter will be longer and go back in time to explain.
•••
He knows where he is before he even opens his eyes. The sounds are familiar, he remembers them from when he'd broken his leg, from when he'd been hurt as a child. They meant he was sick. Something's terribly wrong.
Opening his eyes, he finds he is correct. He's always hated hospitals, they always made him nervous. There's no good reason to be here. But this time, he wasn't even sure why he was here. Trying to bring his hands to his face to push his hair out of his eyes, he finds that his arms are held down in tight restraints. He thinks he could probably break them, but what good would that really do? Oh, something's very wrong.
"Good, you're awake." He turns to see a older woman with a friendly smile. She holds out her hand for him to shake, but quickly remembers he can't and pulls back. "Hello John, my name..."
"Khan," he interrupts, staring at her coldly.
"Yes, Khan, my name is Dr. Collins." The smile fades just a bit. "I'm here to evaluate you before you're transferred."
"Transferred to where?"
"Do you know why you're here, at the hospital? Do you remember what happened before you were brought here?" He thinks back to the courtroom, but he can't remember. He shakes his head slowly. "You attacked Admiral Marcus."
"Did I kill him?"
"No, he's fine," she says and John's expression instantly changes. His mind is racing. He needs to get out of here.
"Someone has to stop him. I have to stop him."
"Why? What's he going to do?"
"He's going to kill my family!" John cries out as he tries to free his arms from the restraints, becoming desperate as anger turns to panic, and the doctor can only sigh. She would continue the evaluation, but he would get admitted, there is no doubt about that. "I demand that you release me!"
"John," she says softly, but he doesn't even look at her. "Khan, just try to calm down. We're going to get you help."
"I'm not sick!" There's nothing wrong with me. "You have to believe me. Please, I'm not sick." She only stares at him with a sympathetic smile and he tries to pretend he didn't see it, because it makes him doubt himself. There's nothing wrong with me, right?
For the first time in his life, he finds that he can't trust his own thoughts.