Is This Home?
Irey's Story
By: Irey
Part I
Living the Revolution
Chapter 1:
Life is a revolution...
Irey's Diary
September 10,1903
New York can get awfully cold at night... of course, I doubt sitting outside like this helps. I've realized something tonight. All of life is a great revolution. The longer you live, the more the battle changes, but your battle never truly ends until you die. Truly though, I've had my share of revolutions. I'd much rather not see one again. But I will continue to fight my own.
As new as this place is to me, I am beginning to feel at home a bit. But, what is home. As I sit here and think about it... is this home? I can't say that it is. That makes me wonder even more? Will I ever really be at home anywhere ever again?
What is home? Is this home?
Irey stood and closed her diary. Sighing, she walked the rest of the block back to the lodging house. The night was already pitch black and a cold chill had set in. She shrugged her shoulders, dismissing the thought. As she opened the door to the lodging house and stepped inside the warmer air took her over.
She took the time to look around at what was now her home. The Queens lodging house. She really didn't have any friends here. She sighed softly, and began the ascent to her bunkroom, acknowledging any that happened to notice her with a nod and a small, rather wry smile. She wished she could do something about her shyness, but she didn't know how to approach people. Her only real friend at the lodging house was Giggles, who she had known for years.
Halfway to her room she remembered something she'd been meaning to do. She reached her room and snatched up a small bundle of papers. Once in possession of them, she turned and left again with an odd glance from her best friend. She headed towards the library, she meant to drop them off regardless of who was there, or NOT there. Upon seeing no lights on inside the library, she slipped the bundle under the door. Hopefully someone would pick them up in the morning. She turned and walked back to he bunkroom.
Upon her entrance, Giggles stared at her rather wide-eyed. " What da? I thaught dat was your diary or somethin'. Now ya take it somewhere and don' come back wit it! What's dat about?" Irey looked at her friend, and burst out laughing at her puzzled expression. Giggles saw this and gave Irey a glare. "Don't you laugh at me O'Herra! Nobody gave you permission to laugh at me!" This only caused Irey to laugh more. Giggles placed her hands on her hips and shook her head with smirk. "Only you O'Herra! Only you! Why ya gotta be so strange?" Giggles looked at her friend once more and went back to her bunk
Part II
Dawning of a New Era
Irey's Diary
So, my revolution is coming to an end... It's over, I don't have the strength anymore. What am I living for? I remember the time Tanner said it to me. He looked at me dead on and said, "Aidelle Celeste O'Herra you couldn't live without love. You'd just be eaten away inside. You've always lived for someone as long as I've known you. Your family, Deacon, Dania, always someone. I can't imagine watching you die without love. I think we'd all end up in the asylum before you could die off. You'd break the hearts of Eire."
I lived for Tanner once... all I know now is that now I live for no one. I don't love anymore. I think I've been left barren of love and in doubt of everything. I loved too many people, yet too few to keep me alive. I think I'm supposed to go tomorrow to the feis down in the Irish district with Harmony. We were supposed to dance some of the jigs. I wonder now if I'll live long enough to be there. Thomas was right I'm dying away inside... I'll go before long, or I'll leave New York. Either way it is time for me to say goodbye to those I leave here. This is not home. It has never been home. No place has but Ireland, Eire, Donêgál. I cry sometimes at night now. I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I found myself in Manhattan at the old Monarch Theatre that Harmony and I were going to buy. I don't even know how I got there... I'm loosing my mind. Tomorrow is goodbye. The money I have saved from the Monarch will get me anywhere I want to go. Goodbye New York...
Irey
Irey closed the tattered diary for what she believed to be the last time, blew out her candle, and settled in to bed. Tomorrow she would go to the Feis and say her goodbyes to New York City. Harmony was going to drag her if she refused anyways, so she had already resigned herself to the task. Harmony was really the only friend she saw more than once a month. Kitty she saw every so often and she liked the girl well enough, she just never saw enough of her to stay for her. They were her only friends anymore. As she lay there in her own apartment, the one she had taken up not long after she lost touch with Joel, she began to doze, and fall into dreams.
She dreamt of the night her family died. Her mind vividly recalled the flight to the old ruins of the local castle with Deacon and Dania. She remembered the fear that the three had felt as their small town had been burnt to the ground after the massacre, then wondering if they were the only ones left. Then her mind shifted to the night she'd met Richard, the rich American man her awful aunt was marrying her off to. At first he had seemed kind, but it quickly became all too clear who this man really was. Soon there were attempts at rape, beatings when she refused to let him have her, uncountable black eyes and bruises that no one cared about. Then she had met Harmony, and Harmony, her only friend, had talked her into becoming a newsie. Her mind suddenly raced to the first time the girls had seen the Monarch. It was their dream come true. A place where they could make a life from scratch, then Harmony had disappeared and the dream fell apart. Irey didn't have enough money to start the place on her own. She started working with the Manhattan Newsies during the day and working for Medda at night. Then she'd met Joel after moving to Greenwich Village, and he'd talked her into staying in New York. He'd helped her to get a place at the Queens Lodging House after the Greenwich Village one closed down and to get things in her life running there. Irey had to admit to herself that she was in love with the man. Then he too disappeared. She lost all contact with him. It had really taken the last of her strength. Now here she was, a few months later, talking about ending her life. Who was she to live for? She didn't know anymore and her dreams were showing her that. Showing her everyone and everything she had ever gone on for. She tossed in her sleep and awoke with a start to Harmony's knock at the door.
Irey struggled to open her eyes. She heard Harmony's voice through her door. "You are damn lucky I'm nice enough ta think a' comin' ta get ya dis mornin' or you neva woulda made it in time O'Herra! Now getcha lazy ass up and open da door!" Irey clambered out of bed and opened the door. Harmony stared at her oddly. "Ya look like hell, what happened?" she asked, eyes full of concern for her friend.
"Bad night." was all Irey could manage in reply. She felt as if she hadn't slept at all, but instead had been hit in the head several times with a rather heavy object. She went and tossed the water she had left out for herself onto her face. The coldness was just the thing she needed to wake her all the way. She sighed and went to get her clothes out. On the way she heard her best friend taking things out of a paper bag and putting them on the table. "What time is it?" she asked still a little tired.
"Late enough O'Herra! Hurry up! Getcha 'self dressed and get yer hardshoes. Then get ova here and eat somethin' before we go. It's gonna be a damn long day. An' don' forget ya extra shoes, I don't think ya wanna be in hardshoes all day." Irey simply did what she was told, knowing that arguing would be pointless.
As soon as she was done dressing she sat down on the foot of her bed and began to brush out her curls with a wet brush. She knew that it was the only way to keep them from getting totally frizzy and that they would dry quickly. After he had finished, she tied the top half of loosely with a ribbon that matched her outfit. The two girls were dressed identically. They and a few others were going to be dancing a few of the songs and Irey and Harmony were both going to be singing some Celtic tunes from Irey's childhood. Although Harmony was an Italian girl, she could step just as well as most of the Irish girls Irey knew. Her feis dress was of soft cream color with orange and green accents. The overlay was of shamrock green and trimmed in the very same cream and orange. It laced up the back in a very renaissance way and fitted her in the front just well enough to show off her fine curves. She wasn't a bad looking young woman. Many people said she was quite beautiful. She had light brown curls that fell to her mid back and eyes of shamrock green that you were certain had far outlived their owner just by the wise look in them. She was shaped and curved in all the right places and well endowed as a woman. But for all that others saw her beauty, Irey thought she was a plain as a piece of drift wood. She finished with her hair and joined her friend at the table.
What Harmony had been taking out of the bag was evident. Pancakes and eggs and sausage and hash browns were all laid out on a plate for her to have her fill of. Harmony looked up at her with a smile. "Mrs. Torrini wouldn't let me get away this mornin' wit out takin' somethin' fer ya, an' I figured ya wouldn't eat if I didtn't bring ya somethin' so I agreed. It's a little cold but dat's what happens when ya go all dat way wit it in a bag." Harmony shrugged.
Irey soon finished her breakfast and the two girls headed out the door for the feis. It was a bit of a walk but they made it in time for the first set. The day wore on, and as it did it also wore on the girls feet. By noon Irey was glad of the lunch break she and Harmony had for the next two hours. Shannon, Marian, and Meagan had all gone off to get food, Harmony was off talking top a few friends and Irey was left talking to some of the adults who spoke little English, mostly Gaelic. Seeing as she had been raised in a Gaelic Community, Irey spoke it very well. This fact was about to turn out much to the favor of the young man behind her. The man's name was Thomas Clare. He was fairly new to America and had yet to learn the language. Luckily for him,(and for Irey as well) nearby Irey did. Noticing his plight, Irey turned to him and asked him, in Gaelic, if he needed help. She little noticed when the young man caught his breath in a quick draw. He took her hand gently and kissed it, as if a gentleman being properly acquainted to a new lady.