"JAMES POTTER! I am going to KILL you!"

James hurtled down the corridor as a slender girl chased him, brandishing her wand threateningly. She screamed obscenities after him as he frantically pushed past laughing students. He turned a corner and barely managed to duck into a small crevice before the fiery figure of Lily Evans flew around the corner as well, spitting mad and green haired.

"POTTER!" she bellowed. "It will be worse for you if you don't come out NOW!"

Choking back laughter, James watched as Lily turned the corner, brilliantly green hair whipping behind her. A second later the head of his best mate, Sirius, popped out from behind him.
"Argh! Sirius?" he said incredulously as the handsome boy pulled the cloak off him.

"The one and only," he said with a smirk. Another boy seemed to sprout from the ground, one with light brown hair and sweet blue eyes – only at the moment he didn't look sweet at all.

"We couldn't miss the chance to see Evans castrate you," Peter said, grinning furiously. James puffed out his chest.

"She'd never do that. She loves me far too much."

Sirius listened to Lily's distant shrieks. "You know mate, I reckon you shouldn't have turned her hair green and insulted her," he said seriously.

"I told her it matches her gorgeous eyes! I thought she'd be flattered!"

Peter and Sirius shook their heads condescendingly and slowly. "Honestly," muttered Peter.

"You haven't a clue how to seduce girls, do you," Sirius said, slinging a casual arm around James' shoulders.

"Like you do," James muttered, shrugging his arm off. Sirius clutched a hand to his chest and feigned collapsing; only barely avoiding hitting his head on the wall.

"James! You have mortally wounded me! My heart may never heal!" he sprang to his feet after a second, letting out a yelp. "Yuck! There's water on the ground!"

"You're recovering pretty fast for someone mortally wounded," James said sourly, poking his head out of their hiding spot and searching for Lily. Sirius grabbed his arm and hauled him back in.

"But seriously, mate!" Sirius said earnestly. "And if you make that pun, I'll tell Lily you're the one who stole her pants," he added hastily at the look on James' face.

"You wouldn't."

"I would."

James glared at him for a second. "Fine," he muttered, crossing his arms. "What do you want, anyhow, Pads?"

"I have a plan," Sirius announced dramatically. "A plan to seduce Lily Evans!"

The two boys stared at him for a moment before sharing looks that plainly said 'he's mad.'

"You're kidding, right?" Peter said after a moment. "Your idea of seduction is leaping on the table in the Great Hall and asking the girl to go out with you, and only after attacking her boyfriend and setting his hair on fire."

"Peter," Sirius said with a shake of his head. "Peter, Peter, Peter… that was a long time ago. I was immature then. I am now far more brilliant and genius."

"Stop saying my name," Peter said, lightly shoving him. "And you haven't the faintest about Lily Evans."

"Oh, and you do?"

"More than you do!"

"Yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"Well, I-

"Shut up!" James hissed, once again for Lily, who they could hear stomping around outside.

"Anyhow, Jamesiepoo-" Sirius started, recovering from his short loss of dignity.

"Don't call me that-"

"Anyhow," Sirius said forcefully. "You-"he shoved a finger into James' chest. "-need a plan for Lily that doesn't involve turning her hair green and using cheesy pickup lines."

"Cheesy? Cheesy? You're the one who suggested that… that one that made her hex me!"

"I didn't think you'd be so thick as to go and actually do it!" Sirius said defensively. He lowered his voice with an arrogant little smirk. The other two unconsciously leaned closer, looking interested against their wills. "We need a plan to seduce Lily Evans."

Lily stalked back and forth across the dormitory. "And then," she raged. "He turned to me and told me it suited me!" she kicked a book across the room and then hopped around for a moment, clutching her foot. The pain did nothing to improve her disposition.

Marlene McKinnon watched her in amusement, reclining back on her bed. The pretty brunette sighed and leaned forward. "I know James is despicable. I know he's nasty and immature and a whole load of other things. I know that, in your eyes, he's the worst thing ever. And for the last time, I know he turned your hair green!"

It had been two days since the infamous incident in the Great Hall, and Lily was still absolutely furious. "Then he told me that he hoped I liked the colour green, because it was going to stay like that! I can't believe he hexed me and turned my hair green."

"Are you sure he didn't hex you to not shut up about the incident?" Marlene muttered as Lily stomped across the room.

The red-head didn't seem to hear her.

"I hate him!" she cried, collapsing onto her bed. "I hate him so much! Stupid James Potter and his stupid arrogance." After a minute or two, she subsided into muttering into her pillow. Marlene caught occasional words that sounded suspiciously like 'Potter' and 'stupid'.

"Well, when you're done talking to your pillow like a nutter, let's go to breakfast. We're going to be late for it and classes if you don't stop sulking," Marlene said, slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"Oh Merlin," Lily wailed. "Is it really that late?" she sat up and made a frantic attempt for the window, only to fall and land on her face. She lay there for a moment, groaning in pain.

"Come on," Marlene said, lightly kicking at her. "We're going to be late."

"I hate my life," Lily moaned at the ground. Marlene grabbed her by the arm and pulled her to her feet.

"Stop whining and come on. McGonagall will do her nut if you miss Transfiguration again," Marlene said, pulling Lily to the door and down the stairs.

"I hate you, you know that?" Lily said as Marlene dragged her in the direction of the Great Hall.

"It's good to see you care," Marlene said with a grin.

Author Notes. This is my very first story and I'm very nervous about it. I really hope it's at least decent, but if it isn't I would definitely like some constructive criticism. This is a rather short first chapter, but I have several more finished, and I'm hoping to upload a chapter every few days.

I hope you enjoyed it, and I'm not sure it's very good, so I would like some reviews. Thank you!