This is me taking a crack at a My Immortal commentary fic. I've had some serious inspiration: LemonyBatman, for one, and I was just reading a repost of it and decided that I couldn't let all that horrible writing off the hook ANY MORE.
Disclaimer: It would be an insult to say that J.K. Rowling owns this disgrace, so I'm just going to let her stay the empress of Harry Potter land (which this awful piece of crap has almost NOTHING to do with) and assign ownership of this fic to Tara Gilesbie.
My commentary is bold and in parenthesis.
AN: Special fangz(Sharp animal teeth?)(get it, coz Im goffik)(Haha, no.) 2 my gf (ew not in that way) raven, bloodytearz666 4 helpin me wif da story and spelling. (Wow, great job, Raven.)U rok! Justin ur da luv of my deprzzing life u rok 2! MCR ROX!
Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way (This name is the most apt description of Ebony I can find, but the words idiot, loser, and I.Q.-of-a-mentally-challenged-rock are left out.)and I have long ebony black hair (that's how I got my name)(Who would have guessed?) with purple streaks and red tips that reaches my mid-back and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u don't know who she is get da hell out of here!).(I would if I could) I'm not related to Gerard Way but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. (Um...EW!)I'm a vampire but my teeth are straight and white.(Oh yeah well, that makes a ton of sense.) I have pale white skin. I'm also a witch, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts in England (It's not even in England. It's in Scotland)where I'm in the seventh year (I'm seventeen). (Huh. That DOES seem to make sense..) I'm a goth (in case you couldn't tell)(You're right. I couldn't.) and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my clothes from there.(Everything is starting to clear up all of a sudden.) For example today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots.(What a beautifully written, totally irrelevent and useless description you have there!) I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation,(Wait..something isn't right here..Oh yeah! You are supposed to ALREADY BE PALE!)(black eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts. It was snowing and raining (Um..ok?)so there was no sun,(The hell? Where I come from, the sun is at its absolute brightest on snowy and/or rainy days!) which I was very happy about. A lot of preps stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.(Sounds like a classy girl.)
"Hey Ebony!" shouted a voice. I looked up. It was... Draco Malfoy!(Oooooh! I'm so excited! Wait, why am I excited?)
"What's up Draco?" I asked.
"Nothing." he said shyly.
But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to go away.(Longest, most meaningful conversation ever!)
AN: IS it good?(Um...no...) PLZ tell me fangz!(Maybe you don't really want to know. Let's just say, NO!)