She glared over her coffee at the couple on the next table. 'Couple' was probably the wrong word; the two people were practically merged into one.
They were giggling (well, the girl was) and sighing and some heavy petting was well underway. In a way, despite her disapproving stare, Lily vaguely wished she was in that position. Bad choice of words. Eat your heart out, Freud.
A figure blocked her view of the two.
"What's up your arse today?"
"What?"
"You might want to relax your face now and again. One day the wind will change and you'll be stuck like that forever." Sirius Black took a gulp of his butterbeer and plonked himself down on the seat opposite. "Or you'll just get wrinkles."
Lily looked bemusedly at Sirius.
"You're doing it again. Staring."
"Huh? Oh, of course. I was thinking. How does someone who was brought up in a strictly Slytherin and You-Know-Who-worshipping family turn out so... like you?"
Sirius pondered her question for a moment.
"I suppose if they were nicer to me, I might have, you know, followed them. But they treated me like dirt, and Reggie was so slimy and horrible and I thought, 'I bloody well won't let myself turn out like him.' I vowed never to follow their ways and to piss them off as much as possible." He looked at her. "You know, at the start of first year I was still caught up with it all. The whole 'Dark Lord' business, I mean. My mum told me to stay away from any Muggleborns- well, 'mudbloods', she said- and Potters. But I was friends with James before I knew he was a Potter."
"What happened when you found out he was a Potter and that Slytherins were slime?" Lily wondered what the turning point was for Sirius. After all, throughout first year all she could remember him for was his up-and-coming prankster profile.
"It wasn't until the sorting. James introduced himself to me only by first name on the train. When James was called out as a Potter, I suppose I was a bit shocked. Actually, I was really tearing myself up about it for days. And about being sorted into Gryffindor. It took me the better part of two weeks to realise what Slytherin was like and be glad I wasn't in it." He laughed, shaking his head. "And now look at us. Me and James are like brothers. And together we hate the Slytherins more than all of them, collectively, hate us." He laughed once more, crinkling his eyes up and dimpling his cheeks. "You know, Lily, for most of our time at Hogwarts I've disliked you." Lily snorted gracefully.
"Sirius Black, you certainly are charming."
"What I mean is that up until quite recently, I've disliked you because of my perspective. In first year it was because you were a Muggleborn, despite James' fervent and frequently-aired views that Muggleborns were just as good as Purebloods. Second year I thought you were a snob, third year you beat me in all our classes and in fourth year I hated you for rejecting James. I suppose it was fifth year that I grew up."
"You 'grew up'?" Lily smiled patronizingly. "Sirius Black, you think you're so mature."
"Lily Evans, stop acting like a forty-year-old."
They didn't speak for a while, Lily looking out the window and Sirius busying himself with his drink.
"You never told me what was up your arse? Were you thinking about how dashingly handsome I am and how you would just like to ravage me?"
Lily pressed her lips together, trying not to laugh. "No. I do not want to ravage you, Sirius." Her poker face slipped, and she let out a titter.
"Good." Sirius looked solemn. "Because I don't think I'd escape the ravaging with all my... well, in the same state as I entered into it, with a facial expression like yours."
"Really, Sirius? No, ravaging was not on my mind. I was glaring at James Kirkby and Eisha Gallagher. I was this close to throwing a condom at them-"
"A what?"
"A... oh, never mind. What I'm saying is they were practically copulating."
"Copulating?" Sirius sniggered.
"Yes, copulating. And you know, Sirius, 'mature' people like you don't laugh at words like 'copulating' or, for that matter, 'vagina', 'penis' or 'menstruation'." Lily smirked. Sirius tried not to.
"So why did it annoy you?"
Lily bit her lip. She wasn't openly going to admit that she wanted that kind of intimacy.
"I suppose it was their... well, their indiscretion. Anyway, what are you? A psychiatrist?" She frowned, taking a sip of her drink. Grimacing, she stood up. "My drink's gone cold."
"Where are you going?"
"Elsewhere. I'm meant to meet James before we're due back at the castle." She wrapped her scarf around her neck and put her coat back on, turning to leave the crowded shop. "See you later, Sirius."
"Tell him he's a twat for ditching me."
- - -
"James, good of you to finally join us." Sirius' lazy form sat up when James entered the dormitory. "So, did you have fun in Hogsmeade?"
"What? Oh, I thought I told you I couldn't go today." James knelt down and started rifling through his trunk.
"Well, I thought you did too, until your girlfriend said otherwise." James paused, frowning at the ball of socks he held.
"What did she say?"
"She said she was meant to meet you."
"For prefect business."
"Before going back to the castle?"
"Yeah."
"Yeah right. James, you ditched me. For your girlfriend."
"God, Padfoot, I've been going to Hogsmeade with you for three years. And now I miss going with you once and you get sulky?"
"We've been friends for nearly seven years, James. But as soon as you get Lily you can just leave? You said we'd go to Hogsmeade and look around. Moony's sick, Wormtail's staying with him. It was our turn to go out today."
"Relax, Sirius. There'll be other Hogsmeade breaks. Anyway, once Moony's back we can sneak out." Sirius stood up, his fists balled and his eyes furious.
"And you'll bring Lily like you did last time." James stood up, still holding his socks.
"No, I won't. Will you stop harassing me, Padfoot? It's not like you've never ditched us for one of your girlfriends. Anyway, you're being an idiot. I'm going to go check on Remus."
The oak door of the dormitory slammed satisfyingly after James.
- - -
Lily gazed absently out across the lake. Occasionally the glistening stillness of the water would be disturbed; a tentacle indolently tracing over the smooth surface, a darting bird snatching at something underwater. It was a still autumn evening, all of the day's blustering winds and drizzle had gone, leaving glorious freshness in its wake. The setting sun turned everything in its path to amber and the dusky air was clear, sweet and hopeful.
Lily was listening half-heartedly to Magda catalogue every detail of her day in Hogsmeade. She really didn't need to speak, just nod occasionally and smile. She looked at her evening. There was nearly an hour until dinner, which would probably be spent listening to Magda. Awaiting her attention after dinner was a Potions essay on the properties of the Felix Felicis potion, but that wouldn't take her too long. It left her the better part of two hours to herself.
"And oh, Lily, it was just glorious."
"Hmm? Really?"
"Oh, yes. You should have been there. Not with us, of course. That would have been a bit awkward."
"Who were you with?"
"Lily," Magda chastised, "weren't you listening?"
Lily searched her vague memory of the one-sided conversation for a mention of any names.
"Uh... Gilbert? Were you with Gilbert?"
"No, but we did run into Gilbert. Which reminds me, I didn't tell you about what happened before we went into the shop."
Lily smiled and nodded, and turned her attention back to the gold lake.
- - -
"Lily," James turned from looking out the window, "You think too much."
"Is that so?"
"Yes." James sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "We should go for a walk."
"Because the halls of Hogwarts are always really interesting," Lily raised an eyebrow at James, who had resumed watching the moonlit grounds.
"No, I mean outside. We could walk to the Quidditch pitch, or go swimming in the lake. Have you seen the lake at night?" Lily shook her head. "It's great. The giant squid's always splashing about, and sometimes you hear singing underwater, and it's always warm around now. Or if you don't want to go to the lake, we could sneak into Hogsmeade, or go into the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, or we could take Sirius' motorbike and-"
He grimaced, realising that Sirius wouldn't allow James to take his bike anywhere, especially not with Lily.
"Where would we go on Sirius' motorbike, even if we did manage to sneak it out of Hogsmeade unnoticed?"
"Nowhere. You're right; we probably wouldn't make it out of Hogsmeade."
Lily frowned at the back of James' head.
"What's wrong, James?"
"Hmm? Nothing."
"You're being weird."
"Can't I ask my girlfriend to go for a walk with me without being 'weird'?"
"Yes, I suppose you could." Lily answered calmly. "But you are being weird."
"How so?"
"You sound... desperate. Sort of." She sighed. "I don't really know how to explain it, just weird."
A stifling silence settled over the room, and something vaguely stirred in Lily's memory.
"Sirius gave me a message for you."
"Oh, did he really?" James barely kept the scorn out of his voice.
"Mmm, he said to say you were a twat for leaving him today."
"Well, Sirius should-"
He ran his hand through his hair, frustrated.
"See, there you go, being weird again."
"Sirius isn't particularly happy with me."
"I think I gathered that."
James sat down on the sofa opposite Lily.
"Do you think I spend more time with you than with him?"
Lily paused to think before answering.
"I suggest, James, you make up with Sirius."
"But what if making up with him meant hurting someone else I care about?"
"I think that they will understand what Sirius' friendship means to you."
The first thing Lily noticed when she woke up the next morning was that her body was clinging to unconsciousness. Her lips were numb and her body felt extraordinarily heavy. It was as if her eyes had woken before the rest of her.
A small ribbon of sunlight peeped through the curtains and lay across her stomach. She wriggled her toes, and was pleased to feel the dead weight had left her legs. Throwing back the covers and going to open the curtains, Lily greeted the morning joyfully.
Breakfast was its usual glorious affair, with the smell of bacon and eggs as mouth-watering as ever.
"Are you fighting with James, Lil?" Magda glanced at the distance between them and the Marauders.
"No, should I be?" Lily took a bite out of a piece of buttered toast.
"No, I suppose not. But why aren't we sitting with them?"
"Who?" Lily said absentmindedly.
"The Marauders, Lily. You know, James, Sirius, Remus and Peter?"
"Remus and Sirius aren't there."
"I know, and James looks ever so down."
"I expect Remus is sick again. I'm sure he'll get over it."
"Who, Remus?"
"James. He's probably worried about Remus. But he'll be back to normal soon."
"Alright Lily, but tell me if something is wrong, alright?"
"We're out of bacon."
- - -
James dragged his feet all the way to breakfast. He'd tried to make up with Sirius, but Sirius had just said that he'd stay with Remus and asked Peter to get some food for him.
Breakfast was sorely disappointing. Lily wasn't sitting with them, Peter was chattering non stop about the full moon that night, and the bacon had run out by the time he got there.
"Hello James."
"Finally decided to grace me with your presence, Lily?" James huffed.
"We're out of bacon."
"No joy here. Peter's gone to find some more."
"Why are you so morose today? Did you talk to Sirius?"
"Yes. And he's still not talking to me. He's with Remus."
"Poor Remus. Full moon tonight, isn't it?"
"Don't remind me."
Peter came trotting back, triumphantly holding a tray of bacon.
"Where'd you find that, Peter?"
"Oh, hello Lily. Just go to the girls' end of the Slytherin table. They won't touch the stuff. Too many calories."
"That'd be right. Bye James, Peter. Give my best wishes to Remus."
"Oh yeah," said Peter. "You know it's-"
"Yes, Peter. I know."
- - -
The hospital wing, as whitewashed as usual, smelt like Miss Scower's All-Purpose Magical Mess Remover and something slightly bitter, a little like medicinal alcohol. James wrinkled his nose; being in the hospital wing was not his favourite way to spend a Sunday.
"Moony, Lily said to say 'hello'."
Remus smiled weakly. Sirius scowled.
"I'd like to see her."
"I'm taking a break. I'll come back after lunch." Sirius stalked off.
"I wish he would stop being so sullen."
James grunted but did not reply.
"Would you like to tell me what's happening? I gather by his reaction to the mention of Lily, it's something to do with the aforementioned?"
"Well, the long and short of it is that Sirius, of all people, feels that I am spending too much time with her."
"Hmm. I think that you should make up with Sirius. Lily will understand."
"I know, but dash it, Moony. that's the problem. I've already tried saying sorry and all that, but the idiot says that apologising isn't going to change the fact that I prefer Lily's company to his."
"Nonsense. And if you do, in fact, prefer the company of Lily, then fighting with you isn't going to fix it."
"But I don't prefer Lily to Sirius, or Sirius to Lily, or anyone to anyone else. I told him that." He slammed his fist against the mattress in frustration. "What do I do?"
"I think..." Remus frowned. "I think that I should sleep now. Tell Lily to come see me before... Well, before."
"Fat lot of help you did."