AN: Post S3 finale, but Chuck doesn't get shot.
When Blair tells him to forget that night never happened, he obeys her wishes (for once) and forgets the only way he knows how; he runs away. This time the destination is Prague; there are plenty of women, and even more bottles of scotch, but only one lonely ring in his pocket.
Chuck contemplates flushing the ring down the toilet one morning, but the diamond never leaves his fingertips as he dangles them over the porcelain. Two days later, and he ponders dropping the ring off the rooftop as the bricks dig painfully into his legs. The bottle in his hand falls and shatters, eliciting a few screams and shrieks from below, but the cold platinum is seemingly glued to his hand.
He gives up on the third try when he attempts to throw the ring into a lake. His arm pulls back and swings forward, nearly knocking him off his feet. The wind teases his back, pushing him forward, the metal bar digging painfully into his stomach. When he opens his fist the diamond solitaire is still glittering up at him cruelly.
…
Three years. For three years the ring sat in his safe, flung into the dark confines when his hands refused to dispose of it.
One thousand ninety-five days had passed, with lewd comments on his part and cold smiles on hers. One thousand ninety-five days suns had set with Chuck attempting to forget, while hoping she would forgive. One thousand ninety-five moons had risen with Blair exchanging mere pleasantries with him.
In three years, Blair had found herself a suitable replacement for the Prince in her fairytale. He had the requisite knight-in-shining armour complex, stunning smile of pearly whites, and promises of diamonds and a house on Park Ave.
If Blair's life was the fairytale she had purported it to be, their tale would look like this;
Once upon a time, in a faraway land known as the Upper East Side, a beautiful princess lived in a tower high above the clouds. Though the princess' life had been, for the most part, untroubled and happy, she had fallen into the spell of the dark prince. A monster to be feared, he had shattered the heart she so willingly offered to him, leaving a broken shell in his wake. The beautiful princess cried for hours on end, her beauty marred by her grief and contempt. Then one day, a handsome prince arrived, ready to save his beautiful princess. The prince filled the princess' broken heart with love and promises, slowly piecing together the pieces until she was whole again. And once the princess was whole, the prince sought out her hand in marriage.
In a grand affair at the Plaza, surrounded by their closest friends, the prince married the princess, sealing their happily ever after.
But you see, Blair's life was no fairytale; but a collection of tales wrought of laughter and happiness, and of grief and contempt. It would only be later, curled up on her powder blue bathroom rug, that she would realize this sad truth.
When Chuck witnessed the ring on her finger that bore no resemblance to the one sitting cold, but not forgotten, in his safe, he drank his way through a bottle of scotch and dropped her ring inside. It clattered and clanged, creating a broken melody that echoed in his ears. Before he knew it, he had smashed the bottle on the edge of the counter, feeling through the jagged pieces for the cold glittering diamond.
Lily mentioned the state of his hands and the thin red line across his cheek the next day, and in that moment he told himself to stop torturing himself and live his own life.
He said goodbye to Blair's Chuck on a cold windy morning, the tarmac void of any well-wishing family members who wanted to bid him goodbye and good luck.
(Chuck Bass makes his own luck)
…
Chuck Bass moved to Vegas.
No, it was not due to the bevy of willing women, no matter what they said back home. It was because Vegas in no way reminded him of Blair Waldorf. Vegas was living life in the fast lane, it was debauchery and success, it was living to forget and, most importantly, it was freedom
In two years, three buildings and one hotel bore the Bass name. He was a success, the toast of the town, with a different woman on his arm each night.
The ring had sat untouched, still pristine, in a different safe, for those years. Chuck had visited Manhattan a number of times, determined to not let Blair get in the way of his life.
But in two years, Blair Calloway had became pregnant, and gave birth to a healthy baby girl whose last name wasn't Bass.
When he had heard of the birth of Anna Marissa Calloway, Chuck took the ring from its home and set out to gamble it away.
The moment the ring was set down on the table, he knew it didn't belong there.
(It was back in the safe the next day)
…
"Chuck, are you visiting anytime soon?"
"I just visited last month Nathaniel. You've gotten very attached to me"
Nate laughed, a simple sound of contentment and unrestrained joy that Chuck had never managed to hold on to. "She said yes. Serena said yes."
"You finally proposed? Congrats, my man. I always knew after years of pining over her, you two would work out."
"And would the great Chuck Bass make the trek back to Manhattan to be my best man?"
The silly grin on Nate's face is evident, even though Chuck is miles away from his best friend.
"As long as Serena's maid of honor doesn't castrate me, it'd be an honor Nathaniel" His reply is genuine.
"Thanks Chuck. You don't have to worry about Blair. She's really grown up, especially with Anna around. You know, I always thought that it would be Blair and I getting married. I guess things have changed, huh?"
(But it still hurts to hear her name)
…
He returns on the eve of Nate and Serena's wedding, a magnificent affair, only bested by the bride's maid of honour's wedding a few years prior.
The ring sits in the middle of his bed, still glittering cruelly.
At the wedding, she stands beside the bride, and to him, Blair is more gorgeous in her sky blue maid of honor dress than Serena is in her off-white (pure was not something to be associated with the blonde beauty) wedding dress.
(But he'll never tell)
Blair smiles happily as she watches her two best friends get married, but then she catches the best man's eye.
Chuck holds her gaze for a few seconds, before she turns her head to search out her daughter (asleep in Dorota's arms) in the crowd. His gaze lingers over her, and she fights the blush that creeps up her cheeks.
At the reception, the newlyweds demand their Maid of Honor and Best Man join them in a dance.
It's the first time in five years that Chuck's held her in his arms, the first time that their contact has exceeded a perfunctory kiss on the cheek, or a simple handshake. He doesn't know what to do.
"Watch your hands, Bass" Blair spits out, aware of the titters around them.
He nods slightly, and they begin their dance, under the watchful eye of Nate and Serena Archibald.
"This is a bad idea Serena,"
"Oh shush Nate, look how happy she looks"
Happy was not something Nate would use to describe Blair at this moment. Angry maybe, the way she glares at the two blondes, who only smile back reassuringly. Or maybe the better word would be regret, as her eyes are brimming with unshed tears.
And in Chuck's embrace, Blair was fighting back tears, because everything she'd worked so hard for was crashing down as she felt a familiar flapping sensation in her stomach.
As their dance ends to a smattering of applause, he brushes a thumb the corner of her eyes, wiping away a tear that had fallen unbidden out of her chocolate doe eyes.
"I never got to tell you how sorry I was"
"I knew" Blair said simply, and turned to find her husband, two glasses of champagne in his hands.
Blair's walked away from him so many times he knows not to follow.
…
The next time he sees her, he finds her sipping champagne outside, her husband nowhere in sight. Chuck doesn't think as he slips his coat around her shoulders, noting that she barely filled out her dress.
"It's been a while Waldorf"
It comes as a surprise when she doesn't correct his use of her former last name.
"It has" she replies simply, her eyes never leaving the Manhattan skyline.
"You're happy?"
"I'd like to think so," Blair sighs, taking in a long gulp of champagne
"With him? Somehow I doubt that pathetic excuse of a husband can satisfy you. If I remember correctly, you were quite insatiable."
He's expecting a glare, a biting retort, maybe a slap across his face. Anything to break this monotony from her.
"He's safe" Is all Blair says, and she leaves him behind, slipping his coat into his fingers. The feel of her fingertips against his sends a shiver down his spine, but has no affect on her cool demeanour.
And the last tiny piece of Chuck Bass' heart broke, because if Blair didn't love him, at the very least she could hate him. He'd rather have than this indifference. Indifference meant that she didn't care.
…
He doesn't know what possesses him to stay in New York for a few more weeks. But in Las Vegas, life passed in the blink of an eye. Here in New York, he feels at home. He feels time pass slower, more languidly, like sand slipping through his fingertips rather than water.
Chuck runs into Blair one day, or he supposes a better way of explaining it would be that he found the courage to follow her to the park today.
He must be a masochist, because Chuck desperately desires to see how much Anna looks like her mother. The one year old girl is sleeping peacefully in her stroller, clothed in a white dress and matching pink and white headband. She is all Blair and for that, Chuck is glad. He wouldn't be able to stand seeing Blair's child looking like another man.
Blair frowns as she notices a dark figure clad in an impeccably tailored suit-a suit that had no place in the park-make his way towards her. But five years since the incident has taught her the art of indifference. Try as he may, Chuck will not be able to get a rise out of her.
"Blair"
"Chuck," her voice is all propriety and sweetness "What brings you to the park?"
"It's a lovely day, Blair" he sneered.
"Well, I know you haven't met my daughter, so Chuck, this is Anna Calloway"
Chuck looks down at the girl again, noting that she looked like her mother even more up close.
"She's beautiful Blair," he smiles, prior thoughts of lashing out at her gone when he notices the way the little girl's lashes flutter in her sleep. "She's all you"
And again, Blair is indifferent, replying with a simple, "Thank you"
They fall into step together as they silently meander through the park.
"So, Chuck, why are you still in New York?"
Her voice is saccharinely sweet, and it very nearly brings tears to his eyes.
"I had some," he glances over at her, attempting to catch her eye, but Blair is adamantly staring straight ahead "unfinished business"
"Oh, well I do hope you resolve it soon" Blair remarks.
And Chuck knows that Blair knows he's talking about her. But she won't admit this and it's killing him.
"I can't do this anymore Blair," his voice is tired, defeated.
"Do what?" and her voice is an octave higher, and the slight emotion warms his heart.
"Pretend. Blair, I know I hurt you all those years, but please, give me a chance"
Glancing around, Blair turns her gaze back to Chuck, her features unreadable. "Chuck, this is hardly the time or place. Drinks at the Palace tonight? How does seven sound?"
Caught off guard by her words, he can only nod before allowing Blair to walk off, her steps measured and even, indifferent as always.
(He doesn't even recognize her anymore)
…
She still drinks raspberry martinis. It is one small fact that consoles him, assures him that somewhere underneath the falsity and lies lay his Blair.
But when she turns to face him, her eyes indifferent, a syrupy smile on her face, he frowns.
"Chuck, I'm only here to tell you this, and only this. What happened between us is in the past. I asked you to forget that night, and I wanted us to move on. I've moved on Chuck, there is no us."
"Blair-"
"I mean it Chuck. This isn't high school anymore. I have a family."
At the word family, something in him snaps, and he recalls when she assured him that she was his family, and would always be there for him.
"Do you know why I never fought for you Blair? When you ended things over something as inconsequential as Jenny Humphrey, I let you go. I never tried to get you back; I simply let you live your life. Do you know why?" His words are harsh, burning, and a few patrons glance at him warily.
Blair only continues to stare at him, waiting for him to finish his tirade.
"Because Blair, I loved you. I loved you enough to let you go, to let you be with someone else. Because eventually, I knew we would find our way back to each other. I've said it before, I'll say it again. We're inevitable."
Blair is rendered speechless by this. When he had given up so easily, it had surprised her and hurt her at the same time. But the clean break from him allowed her to move on, to meet Alex. She loved her husband (to some degree), but what she had felt with Chuck would never compare. But Alex, he was safe.
And suddenly, Chuck was in front of her, his lips daringly close to her ear.
"You don't love him, and he'll never love you the way I do."
When she remains motionless, he pulls back, desperately searching her face for something to grasp on to.
"Chuck. I came here to tell you one thing and one thing only. I've moved on. You should do the same"
And with those words, Chuck takes the ring out of his pocket, and tosses it at her. This time, the cold metal does not cling to his fingertips, instead hitting the empty glass in front of her.
"Take it, I don't want it anymore"
And with that, Chuck turned on his heel and swiftly made his way out the doors.
…
She kept the ring. She didn't know why she did it, because her own ring, the one she had worn for the past years, should've been the only ring she would wear.
She told Alex that it had been a gift from her father, thanking God that her husband was clueless when it came to jewellery. Why on Earth would her father have given her an engagement ring? She strung it on a simple chain, wore it when the mood struck.
Blair had picked it up from where Chuck had thrown it, twirling the perfect diamond solitaire between her dainty fingers. If he had stayed a little longer, maybe he would have seen the tender way she tucked it into her purse, before wiping tears from the corners of her eyes. But if he had stayed a little longer, she would have been in his arms in a second.
(But that would've ruined everything)
…
It's ironic really. When Chuck decides that he will move on, Blair realizes that she still loves him. They are the epitome of horrid timing.
Blair hates him for ruining what she has worked so hard to build, but they say there's a thin line between love and hate, and her situation reeks of irony.
Two more painful years pass, and Blair finds her marriage crumbling before her eyes. Alex's infidelity doesn't hurt her as much as the time she caught him screaming at her daughter. Her perfect, tiny three year old daughter.
(She still wears the ring around her neck)
But Chuck's bought another diamond, a new one; though its stature never matched the quiet grandeur of the one he gave to Blair. He buys a different ring, an ostentatious ring that shrieks nouveau riche and carries the stench of infidelity, for his new fiancée Adele.
When Blair hears of his upcoming nuptials, she yanks at the chain around her neck, breaking it easily. She takes the diamond to Central Park, a determined scowl on her face and a loaf of bread under her arm, and attempts to throw it into the icy waters.
But the ring is enclosed in her tiny fist, and it's found its way into her heart like Chuck has again, and she simply can't let go of it.
…
Blair's unstable marriage ends a mere year later when she catches Alex with Natasha again, the tutor she had hired for her daughter. (So what if her daughter was only in pre-school? She needed to be ahead of her class). She pauses slightly to blink back tears before she files for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences.
Blair grins in victory when she is awarded full custody of Anna, though she allows Alex to visit his daughter. She would hate for her daughter to grow up without a father. Blair experienced that second hand from Serena, whose father was never present, and mother was flighty.
The minute the divorce is finalized, she packs up her daughter for an extended stay out of the country, despite her daughter's tears. Daddy and Roman are delighted with little Anna, who has inherited her mother's charm and inquisitive nature, and the five months spent in France are nothing short of relaxing.
On their way back home, Blair decides to change their destination. When the unfamiliar skyline of Las Vegas greets her, she hugs her daughter close, wondering if she made the right decision.
…
He still lives in a hotel. Blair finds it hilarious, as she steps away from her sleeping daughter and quietly exits the room, nodding silently to the babysitter.
She makes her way to the penthouse suite and knocks, hoping that his blonde bimbo of a wife wasn't home.
"Blair" his tone is neither welcoming nor hostile, and she simply notes surprise in his expression.
But before she can respond, a blonde head comes up to them, glaring at the brunette with narrowed eyes.
"Who's this, sweetie?" she asks, curling herself around Chuck. Blair wrinkles her nose in disgust.
"Blair Waldorf," she says, smiling sweetly at the taller woman "I'm an old friend from Manhattan, and I thought it rather rude if I found myself in the same city with a dear friend and didn't stop by to say hello. But it looks like I'm intruding. I apologize. Chuck, it was nice seeing you again"
And with that, Blair turns on her heel, eager to make her escape.
"Wait" Chuck calls out, to the surprise of both women.
"It really would be a shame for us to not catch up. Would you like to have dinner tomorrow?"
Before Blair can answer, Adele narrows her eyes "Sweetie, I thought we were having dinner with the Albertsons tomorrow?"
Chuck had to restrain himself from rolling his eyes. "Adele, I never wanted anything to do with the Albertsons. I won't stop you from going, but tomorrow, I'm having dinner with an old friend." Turning to Blair, he smiles slightly at her expression, "Tomorrow at eight? I'll meet you in the lobby"
Blair can only nod slightly before turning away and pushing the button for the elevator. As she waits, she pretends not to hear the argument that is only slightly muffled by the mahogany door.
She smiles.
…
"I divorced him" Blair says offhandedly, part way through dinner. They had been making small talk throughout dinner, about his life here in Vegas, the coming of Nate and Serena's second child, the absolute horror of the fact that Dan Humphrey had managed to find another Upper East Sider to fall for his so-called Brooklyn charm.
"I know" he replies, a hint of laughter in his voice. "Nate and I still talk. I'm not completely cut off from New York"
"Oh" she replies, a blush coloring her features.
"How are you handling it?"
"Fine, I'll be fine. I guess it was only a matter of time. We haven't been happy for a while. Gave him no right to fuck that whore of a tutor though" Blair's words are venomous, and Chuck welcomes this change.
"You know," he says lightly, jokingly "If it was me, I'd never cheat on you"
She looks down at her plate, sighing inwardly.
"I know" she whispered.
…
When Chuck leaves her at her door with a chaste kiss on the cheek, she blames the three glasses of wine when she grabs his hand and pulls him back.
"Please," she whispers brokenly "Don't tell me you've been faithful"
(He hasn't)
…
The next morning, Blair wakes up happy for the first time in a while, stretching her arms languidly as thoughts of last night come flooding back. She expects Chuck next to her, but when she opens her eyes; he is already dressed, perched cautiously on an armchair in front of the bed.
"I can't do this anymore Blair" he croaked for the second time in his life. Blair closes her eyes tightly as memories from that day in the park wash over her.
"What?" she whispered, tears pricking at her eyelids again. She wills herself not to cry in front of him.
"I can't do this. Every time someone hurts you, you come running back to me. You told me to move on, and I did. You told me to forget about us, and I did. You can't just change your fucking mind Blair! I won't be waiting around for you." His anger is palpable as his eyes burn into hers.
Blair is fighting back tears as she gathers a sheet around her, wrapping herself in thousand count Egyptian cotton. She makes her way to her suitcase, rooting around till she found what she was looking for.
The anger in Chuck's eyes dimmed slightly as he recognized his ring.
"You kept it" he remarked, incredulity apparent in his voice.
She nods, still fighting to keep tears at bay. But his resolve does not waver.
"This time Blair, I'm the one who's married. Keep it if you want. I didn't want it then, and I don't want it now"
And with that, he leaves the suite, leaving behind a sobbing Blair swathed in a sheet.
…
Blair returns to New York with Anna shortly, the little girl questioning her mother's tears. For someone who spent years hiding behind a mask of indifference, Blair finds she's can't hide anything anymore.
She cries and cries and cries to Serena and Nate, the former holding her and patting her back, the latter only watching helplessly.
She begs Serena to take care of Anna when she leaves three weeks later. Terrified, Serena asks where Blair is going.
"I need to get out of here. New York reminds me too much of him. I won't be long. I just need some time to myself. Please, S, you know I wouldn't ask if it wasn't absolutely necessary. I can't leave Anna alone, and leaving her with Alex would be worse. She loves you and Nate, and she adores baby Chris. Please"
Serena is speechless, but Nate chooses this moment to become the strong one and puts an arm around Blair.
"Don't worry about Anna, B. Just come home as soon as you can"
"Thank you" she cries, burying her face into Nate's chest as she sobbed. Nate can only pat her back awkwardly as Serena smoothes her hair. By now, Blair is so tiny and frail that Nate carries her like a porcelain doll, frightened that she could shatter into pieces at any given moment.
…
Days turn into weeks, which turn into a month, until it is four months later and Blair shows no indication of coming back to New York anytime soon.
Anna visits her mother in France every other week, with Dorota flying out with the little girl. Blair calls her daughter every day, determined not to miss a moment of her life.
But she still doesn't come back.
Serena and Nate are at their wit's end with their newborn, one-and-a-half year old Chris, and five year old Anna. So when Chuck Bass shows up at their door, they are slightly unwelcoming.
"Chuck, what are you doing here?" Serena asks, slightly frazzled as she attempted to wrestle Chris away from his wailing baby sister Maya.
"I've come to visit my best friend, sister, and my adorable godson. And the new mini S of course" Chuck smirks in the doorway.
"You haven't visited in months Chuck. What's brought this on?" Nate asks, entering with Anna in his arms. After Blair had run to France, Nate and Chuck's conversations had gotten fewer and farther in between. Blair had demanded they not tell Chuck she had run away, and slightly afraid of their best friend, Nate and Serena had agreed.
"Truth be told," he admits sheepishly, "I'm recently divorced and I've decided to come back to New York. For good. Why do you have Anna?"
But before Nate can answer, Chris runs to Chuck, asking if Uncle Chuck has brought presents (as per usual).
He laughs as Chuck scoops him up into his arms, and Nate only motions for Chuck to follow him, Anna peering curiously over Nate's shoulder at the dark haired man with twinkling eyes. Chuck smiles at this mini version of Blair, and she only burrows her head deeper into Nate's shoulder.
"It's a long story Chuck."
…
Blair is in the midst of her second mid-afternoon glass of wine, a ritual she has developed over the past months. She sighs as Harold calls her into the house. She wasn't in the mood for another discussion pertaining to when she would return to New York.
As she walks into the sitting room, a resigned frown on her face, she is taken by surprise at the dark-haired man sitting in front of her father.
"What are you doing here Chuck?" Blair asks, attempting to regain her composure.
"I'm bringing you home"
"No. I'll go back when I'm ready. And considering I left to forget you, it's going to take a little longer now" she's near tears, his mere presence bringing back years of longing and regret.
"Blair Bear" her father stands up, looking at her with determination "It's been wonderful having you around, but we both know you need to go back. "
Harold leaves, and Blair stands still in the doorway, her eyes never leaving Chuck's.
"Really, Waldorf? Running away to forget your problems" he shakes his head "You do have a daughter now." His accusatory tone tears at her, and something in Blair breaks loose. Before she realizes it, there is a red imprint on his cheek and her left palm is stinging.
"You have no right to tell me how I should act. Anna is perfectly happy with Serena and Nate in New York. I talk to her every night, I see her every other weekend"
"And is this what you want for your daughter? For her to need to fly across the ocean to see her mother?" Chuck notices her face crumpling, and he stands up suddenly, enveloping her in his arms.
"Anna misses her mother Blair. Please, come home"
"To what? I have nothing left in New York" she tries to step away from him, but he only pulls her closer.
"You have Anna. That's all you should need. And," his voice is soft "you'll have me too, if you want"
She wipes at her tears hastily as she looks up at him, "What about Vegas?"
(But he knows Vegas is only a placeholder for your wife)
"I think I've tired of Vegas. And as for Adele, we're divorced. It wasn't working out." At Blair's expression, he hurriedly adds, "It wasn't you. Long before you arrived in Vegas it wasn't working between us. It never was really" he adds with a mirthless laugh.
Blair shakes her head sadly, burrowing deeper into his embrace.
"We really fucked up, didn't we Bass?"
"No," he mused, "I think this is the path we needed to take to find each other. Granted, it's been about eight years, but no matter how many times we hurt each other, no matter how much distance we put between ourselves, or fool ourselves into thinking we can replace the other with someone else, I always knew we'd end up together eventually" He cocked his head at her awe, smirking at her. "Although I have to say, the make-up sex better be mind-blowing. It's been ages Waldorf."
And at those words, Blair kisses him fiercely, throwing out all the regret and mistakes, cupping his jaw in her hands. He brings his hands to her neck, before finding a thin silver chain, and all four carats of his ring on the end of it. The ring no longer glitters cruelly at him; instead it sparkles and catches the light, reflecting a dozen rainbows of hope.
He smiles against her lips "I love you"
Blair smiles back, her heart nearly bursting, "I love you too"
…
Blair walks slowly, carefully, her vision slightly obscured by the thick veil. She turns her gaze ever so slightly to the right, taking in the spectacle.
Her second wedding is bigger than her first, the church filled to capacity with everyone from the Upper East Side, all of whom wanted to witness what would be the biggest wedding of the decade. Anna is dressed in pale lavender, walking carefully in her white Mary Janes as she throws red rose petals down the aisle. Christopher, dressed in a black suit with a matching lavender tie, carries a deep purple silk pillow, on which rests two rings, one of which has nearly been flushed down a toilet, almost thrown over a roof top in Prague, and survived an attempt to toss it into the icy waters of Central Park, among other things. It is a tantamount to their survival as Chuck and Blair.
Serena beams at her, glowing in her maid-of-honor dress, and Nate smiles reassuringly at her from Chuck's side. And when she reaches the altar, and Chuck grabs her hand, she knows she made the right choice this time.
Like Chuck had said, they were inevitable after all. No matter how much they strayed, they'd always end up together eventually.
fin