Title: Interruption
Disclaimer: If I owned Tekken, it probably would have better endings.
Summary: ...And so it happened that something else was to be annihilated.
Author's note: What if Lars had met Jinpachi Mishima in Tekken 5?
...
Chapter One
Wisps of smoke crawled over the barren field, spreading its evil cold in its wake. The sky had refused to hang the sun over this infertile place, allowing it to remain nothing but a graveyard of lost hope. Clouds hid this place in shame, veiling a beast that bore the Mishima name.
The root of all misfortune.
This place was his cradle and his deathbed.
"...I am impressed that you..."
Lars stood still, unable to take his eyes of the huge terrifying jaw that was supposed to be the stomach of his enemy. Holy, fuck...Lars clenched his jaw. His words were stuck in his throat, rendering him uselessly speechless.
Until his cell phone rang, that is.
The ringtone, Electric fountain track in Tekken 6 began to fill the dead fields with its upbeat tune. Mishima, Jinpachi immediately silenced himself and watched the Swedish man casually answer his cell phone.
"Yes, mother?" Lars answered, with the flick of his phone.
Jinpachi blinked and watched the son talk to his mother over the phone. "Yes, Mother. I did wash the dark clothes separately. I also brought the new fridge, you know the one with the ice dispenser. I got that from IKEA. It was on discount. You know I don't buy expensive things. I'm a bargain hunter."
Lars peeked at his grandfather who was listening intently to the conversation.
"Mother, I can't talk right now. I got a fat ugly beast to beat up. Yeah..it's my dad's dad. Such an ugly thing, he's so ugly that your eyes might fall out if you ever see him." Lars spoke, swallowing back the bile that rose up his throat when he turned his eyes on Jinpachi.
"Alright Mother, bye. Love you." Lars ended the conversation, clicked the call off and slid the cell phone back into his pocket.
"You were saying?"
Both of them got into their fighting stance and Jinpachi retracted his words. "I am impressed that you're made it this far." Jinpachi repeated in his rough voice.
"I am Mishima, Jin-"
At this point, Lars' phone rang again.
"W-wa-wait." Lars interrupted Jinpachi and went to answer his phone. "Tougou!"
Jinpachi cleared his throat and put his hands down. "You what? I can't believe it. We have a vacation period starting from tomorrow?" Lars' eyes lit up. "Yeah, I've always wanted to go to Malta. You know, that is the shit these days. Everyone's going to Malta."
Jinpachi cocked his head to the side. Since when did people speak through a small box? How long had he been gone?
"You've booked tickets to Malta? Cool, man. You know I'm gunna need a vacation since I've got to kill something out of Aliens. He looks so ugly, I swear he walked out from the movie, Aliens. You know the one that you dragged me too with your girlfriend. No, it's not Predator. It's Aliens. Oh. Never mind." Lars placed his hand on his forehead, frustrated.
"What's his name?" Lars asked and then glanced at Jinpachi. "I'm not sure. I know he's a Mishima. He's my grandfather, from the paternal side. No, that means he's my dad's dad. My mother's father isn't so ugly although he can be a complete bitch sometimes."
"Well, he's eh...about eight foot big. Four foot wide and he has a huge mouth with fangs where his stomach should be. It's glowing purple. His whole body is glowing purple. Hang on, do you want me to take a picture and I'll email it to you on Facebook or something?"
Lars ended the call and then used his phone to snap a picture of Jinpachi. After sending it to Tougou, he read the text that was sent in response. Lars stifled a laugh and texted his friend back.
"Listen boy, are we going to fight or not?" Jinpachi seethed, irritated with waiting here.
"Oh, alright." Lars replied and apologised for the delay. He slid his cell phone back in his pocket and regained his fighting stance.
"You were saying?"
Jinpachi coughed and repeated his speech. "I am impressed you made it this far. I am Mishima, Jinpachi. My goal is to-"
Again, the Electric Fountain tune had cut in and forced Jinpachi to stop his introduction. Lars excused himself and answered the phone.
"What did I tell you about harassing me? How the fuck did you get my phone number?" Lars covered his mouth, keeping the conversation private.
"No, I don't even like you back in that way. Just...fucking fuck off, okay? I don't care. I've got my own shit to deal with. Just stop calling me and get lost." Lars angrily cut the call and blocked the caller's number. "What a bitch, stalking me."
"Carry on." Lars shot an apologetic look to Jinpachi as he tucked his phone away.
Jinpachi cleared his throat again and repeated his intro speech. "I am impressed you made it this far..." Jinpachi said cautiously, while watching his grandson fumble with his pocket.
"Ah, fuck! It's on vibrate!" Lars muttered, wiggling his hips as he dug his hand deep into his pocket.
"I am Mishima Jinpachi..." He continued, forcing himself not to give up on his intro. He had spent years rehearsing it.
"Gotcha!" Lars ripped the cell phone out of his back pocket. "Vibrating against my bum are we?" Lars mumbled while pressing buttons on his cell phone.
"My goal is to..." Jinpachi paused for a split second and cocked his eyebrow. Now he knew a way to get to this so called Grandson of his, "My goal is to destroy all cell phones!" He roared and the cell phone in Lars' hand exploded to a million pieces.
Lars stood stunned, his blue eyes shone with unspeakable fury just the way a child looked when their favorite toy was cruelly snatched from them. His bottom lip quivered while bits and pieces of his demolished cell phone lay scattered over the dusty ground. Some pieces were even swept away with the wind.
"You shouldn't have done that." Lars' voice was deep, cold and deadly.
At this moment, the Good, the Bad and the Ugly tune went off in Lars' head while he was at a stand off with his grandfather.
I just hope his Electric God Wind Fist is at least at a respectable level, Jinpachi grinned. Finally, he was going to get in to a fight with someone from his own bloodline.
That was until, Lars' other phone started to ring; the tune was Anger of the Earth, another Tekken 6 soundtrack.
Jinpachi slapped a huge hand to his forehead in despair. Young people, these days.
...
A/N: This is not a Yaoi fic. It's a parody fic inspired by the Tekken 5 interludes of most Tekken characters.