Disclaimer : I do not own Bleach. That lucky guy- Tite Kubo does. This story is rated T for language.
-----------------------WASTING TIME--------------------------
Saturday morning-
A sign hung outside the door of the clinic. It read...
Regretfully, This Facility Will Be Closed Today. We Apologize For Any Inconvenience Or Loss Of Life. ---Management of the Kurosaki Clinic.
Ichigo walked over to his closet door and rapped on it. "Hey, Rukia! You and Kon don't have to hide in there today. My dad and sisters won't be home until late tonight. They had tickets to see that sumo wrestler that they like, and I actually convinced dad to let me stay home this time," he explained through the closet door.
The door slid open suddenly and the two peered out. Kon(who was in his stuffed animal body) tried to cling onto the waist of the black haired shinigami. She pulled the mod soul off of her and threw him as hard as she could.
"Keep your dirty paws to yourself!" she yelled at him.
"You can't blame a guy for trying.." he moaned from across the room.
"You're not a guy- you're a toy!" she retorted.
Ichigo yawned. He was tired of the constant bickering between the two. "C'mon guys, stop it!" he yelled.
Rukia looked down at her celestial text messenger, then over at the orange haired teenager.
"Well, we don't have any orders right now, so what do you suggest we do? We could train, since there are many things I still need to teach you.." the petite soul reaper suggested.
"Nah, I want to relax since my dad and sisters aren't here to bug me. Knowing our luck, we'll be receiving an order anytime. But until then, there's a bunch of anime that I want to catch up on!" he explained.
Kon and Rukia looked at each other, then back at Ichigo. "What is this thing you call anime?" they asked in unison.
The tall boy groaned. "C'mon on and I'll show you..." he told them, as he led the two into the living room and over to the TV and the dvd's. There were a lot of anime shows to choose from the family's extensive collection.
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Ichigo made some popcorn and poured it into a large bowl as Kon and Rukia browsed the anime selections. After much fighting between the three, the orange haired teen decided that he would let the two pick out the shows they wanted to view. He figured that was only fair since neither one had ever seen any anime shows before.
He walked into the living room carrying the popcorn and over to the couch where the two were sitting. He sat down on the far end of the couch and looked over at them. "Did you guys pick out the shows you wanted to see?" he asked.
Rukia nodded. "Yes, I am ready to see what anime is all about."
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"Winning loove by moonlight...never running from a real fight! She is the one called Sailor Mooooon.." Kon sang in a terrible voice, as he danced around badly.
Ichigo winced. (Kon would have to pick one of Yuzu's favorites.)
Beside him, Rukia looked at the TV screen critically. "Uh..Ichigo, why do these girls have to go through ten different poses in slow motion as they turn into sailors?" she asked curiously.
"You mean, as they turn into Sailor Scouts or Sailor Senshi." he corrected her. Then he shrugged his shoulders. "You know, I always wondered about that myself. It is annoying!" he agreed.
"Why is that blonde guy wearing a skirt? Is that some new custom I'm not aware of?" she asked in confusion.
The orange haired teen shook his head. "Uh...that's not a guy, Rukia. It's a Sailor Senshi- Sailor Uranus. She dates that aqua haired chick called Sailor Neptune."
Suddenly, Kon jumped unto the couch. "Whoa, lesbians! Where's the HLS, huh?" he asked, as he began to jump up and down in excitement.
Rukia sighed. "I think it's time to put on another show, Ichigo..."
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"I must not run away! I must not run away! But I'm just a kid and I don't want to pilot an Eva! My dad's an asshole!" the brown haired boy cried to himself.
In every single episode...
"Why is that boy so whiny, Ichigo? Is he your long lost brother or something?" Kon jeered, before the teenager punched him.
"Shut up! Don't compare me to that wimp!" the teen yelled. He didn't like being compared to Shinji Ikari, they were NOTHING alike!
"What's wrong with that red eyed, blue haired girl? She acts strange, like a doll or something.." Rukia wondered, as she stared at the screen.
"Don't ask." he said. He didn't want to have to go into great detail about Rei Ayanami. It was too confusing to explain. Especially the end...
"Man, and I though my dad was a pain in the ass!" The teen said, as he watched Gendo Ikari be a total bastard to his only son. (No wonder Shinji's soo whiny!) he thought.
Soon Kon jumped back up on the couch. "Yowza, Misato is sooo damn hot! That bitchy redhead ain't bad either!" he yelled, as he began to once again jump up and down.
Ichigo looked over at Rukia. "Yeah, I know. It's time to put on another show..."
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"Noir, it is the name of an ancient fate. Two maidens who govern death, their black hands protect.." Kon chanted, as he moved his paw in a ritual like move.
"Shut up with that damn chant, Kon!" Ichigo yelled in annoyance.
" Um, Ichigo, why aren't any of these men bleeding? This other emotionless girl who can't talk in complete sentences, just shot all of them! Shouldn't there be blood spurting everywhere?" Rukia asked, as she stared at the action on the TV screen.
"Don't ask me. This is my dad's favorite show." the teen explained.
"Hey, I know why your dad likes this show! It's because of that hot blonde in the short black miniskirt! I mean, just look at her tits! Hot damn!" Kon yelled, as he began to jump up and down on the couch in excitement.
Rukia had HAD enough!
"Fool! I cannot tolerate anymore of your sexist remarks! I thought I told you to stay off the couch and away from me!" she yelled, as she stood up, grabbed the teddy bear and threw him to the ground. She began to stomp on his soft body as he screamed.
Ichigo kept staring at the screen and ignored the two. ( The blonde was pretty hot!) he thought.
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Ichigo was in the process of putting another dvd in when Rukia's messenger went off.
" We've got a hollow coming up! Let's go!" she yelled as she jumped up, and pulled on her glove to knock the teen's soul out of his body...
"If we get done early, then we're watching what I want to watch" he said firmly.
"Fine!" she responded, as she stiff armed him in the forehead and knocked out his soul...
"Don't forget me!" Kon yelled...
chap 2-
A/n – Just plain silliness. If anybody likes this I will do another chapter. The anime that Rukia, Ichigo and Kon were watching are : 'Sailor Moon' season 3, 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' and 'Noir'. I am not trying to offend anyone or the animes ( 2 of them- Eva and Noir are my personal faves)
Please review, no flames please. ( I'll still write anyhow) Constructive criticism welcome.