There I was; Face to face with the most beautiful girl in the world, getting lost in those amazing electric blue eyes of hers. She brought me back to life. Before her I was just going through the motions. Putting up those walls I always did when someone tried to get close to me, those walls she so easily tore down to set me free the day we met. I didn't care to keep up my bad ass façade any more. All I knew was I wanted this girl, and for some reason unknown to me she felt the same. Now I was losing her.
"Spencer, I never meant to hurt you. I... I know I screwed up ok. I screw up a lot, but I don't want to be like that anymore. I swear if you just give me another chance I'll never hurt you ever again and.."
"No Ashley. Don't make promises to me. Not promises you can't keep." She interrupted. "I'll do anything Spencer, I love you so much. I want you and only you. You have my whole heart and I don't think I could handle losing you. I.. Spence, Please…"
"You don't know what you want Ashley that's your problem. You had your chance and you blew it. You had me completely. I was so happy and I would have done anything for you, but you played with my heart and it hurt. I'm done chasing after you and dealing with all of the crap you put me through. I'm done. Good bye Ashley."
I felt my heavy heart sink into my stomach and was left paralyzed while I let her walk away. When I heard the door shut my knees gave out and I fell to the ground crying.
It's been two months since that day. Two months since I let the best thing that ever happened to me walk away. She would barely speak to me. Every time I see her in the halls at school I feel a sharp pain like a dagger in my heart. Might as well be. She looks so happy. Her beautiful golden hair caressing her face. Her blinding smile. The sun on her tan skin… an angel. My angel. Walking around holding the hand of another girl, Jess. Jess was just the girl you'd imagine Spencer to be with. She was pretty, smart, and kind like Spencer, always going with her to feed the homeless and stuff like that. Things I should have done with her, that I should be doing with her now. I thought of running away so I wouldn't be tortured everyday like this, but that's no good either. If I leave I won't be able to look at that beautiful face of hers and know that she's ok. Why should I even care? She obviously doesn't care about me anymore.
That's it. I can't do this anymore. I can't just go on pretending that I'm ok. I'm going to my house, changing into my jammies and going right to my bed for the rest of forever and never coming back to this place ever again. I ran to my car in tears. "Ashley, Ashley!" I didn't even turn to see who was calling my name. I didn't care. Just as I was about to get in my car I felt a hand grab my arm. "Listen bitch," I spun around about to spit out a venomous insult to this idiot, when I saw it was Jess. "It's you. Shouldn't you be out playing bingo with the elderly or something like that? You know what, I don't even care. Get you hand off of me and leave me the hell alone." She released my arm and I spun around to get in my car. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry for messing things up with you and Spencer. I know you guys had some history." "listen, you didn't mess anything up I did, and you have no idea what you're talking about you moved here like a month ago and know nothing about me and Spencer." "I didn't mean it like that, I just.. I can tell she misses your friendship, and I wanted to let you know that I'm ok with that and I just want her to be happy, so if you…" " I do Not need your permission to talk to Spencer and if she wanted anything to do with me she would talk to me herself. Go back to Canada or wherever the hell you came from and leave me alone." She has some nerve to come over and tell me that I'm allowed to see Spencer… Who the hell does this bitch think she is?