Greetings, kind reader! I am McGrady, and this is my presentation of my story, Icha Icha! The title derives from the manga Naruto, and the original Icha Icha refers to a pervy book that one of the most powerful ninjas in the manga reads. n.n

Added on 11 July 2008: This story was my first, and it took me almost two years to complete. I'd like to warn readers that my writing goes through several phases over these two years, and the styles in the first and last chapters are drastically different. With that said, I hope you enjoy my story!

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Disclaimer: I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho

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Icha Icha

by McGrady

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Misconceptions

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"Hiei, you really have progressed faster than anyone else who has studied at Dalin Temple."

"Really, Touya?"

"Oh, indeed. After you first learned Shards of Winter, you've doubled your accuracy within four hours. It must have taken me at least four weeks to do that!"

"Hn."

For the past few years, Hiei has been studying ice and uncovering his Ice Demon half. At the Dalin Temple, which is renowned for its powerful yet feared Ice Masters and students, Hiei was taken in and taught the ways of winter. The Dalin Temple is located atop a towering remote mountain, its base surrounded by a large forest, its top shrouded by clouds. There, the many ice students study their art in the snow and cold of a year-round winter. While all the other students were also meant to study Buddhism, Hiei was an exception. He was sent here by order of Enma himself to maximize Hiei's potential and subsequently increase the strength of the Reikai Tentei. At the temple, Hiei studied under Touya himself.

"I hope Enma is impressed. As well as his little brat."

"Yes, I suspect they both are. Or will be."

Both Hiei and Touya were trekking from the temple to a portal to Ningenkai. Besides the Ice Masters that Dalin Temple produces, the Temple is also quite infamous for its large stairway that runs along the length of the mountain, which the two had just began descending. At the base of the stairway, waiting for them, was the portal.

Hiei smirked a little and glanced over his shoulder, toward the top of the stairway. There, the large stone gates of the Temple stood proudly. "When I first climbed these stairs, each step came up to my knee."

Touya nodded in silent agreement. After musing to himself, Touya asked, "Hiei, are you glad that you're taller now?"

"Oh, of course. Dalin-sensei was right – height gives much advantage to me during a conflict. Longer arm span is more convenient than I thought."

"Even after the process of unfreezing your epiphysial lines. You're still glad?"

Hiei frowned. "Well, that wasn't too fun."

"Hiei, I could smell your pain."

"But I've been through much worse," added Hiei, pointing to his Jagan.

Touya raised his eyebrows.

"Touya, this thing hurt like a mofo."

Touya snorted. They continued walking down the path precariously, careful not to slip on the icy stone steps. Hiei took a deep breath, could feel the oxygen in the air thicken. After a moment, Touya asked Hiei, "Where did you learn the term 'mofo'?"

Hiei adamantly glared at the steps in front of him. "From that baka ferry onna."

ooooo

That baka ferry onna was back in Ningenkai, with the rest of the Reikai Tentei relaxing at Genkai's home, playing poker. Unfortunately for Botan, she quickly lost her chips. She and Keiko decided to go up the wooden stairs to the room Botan was temporarily staying at.

"Botan, it's been so long since we've seen Hiei-san."

"Yeah, you're right."

"Are you excited?"

Both girls rushed into Botan's room and zealously jumped into the large bed. After they were done bouncing, Botan sat up cross-legged. "It'd be nice to see Hiei again, but I don't expect any gifts from him."

Keiko giggled. She sat up like Botan did a few feet in front of her. "I don't either, but he has been keeping in contact with Yusuke a lot."

Botan pensively put finger to her chin and was silent for a moment. Her eyes then narrowed mischievously and she uncharacteristically smirked, almost as Hiei does. She ran to the door, quickly shutting and locking it, and then rushed back to her spot on the bed. "Keiko-chan, have you ever wondered about Hiei's personal life?"

After staring at Botan a little, Keiko decided she should be apprehensive. She shook her head. "Why would I?"

Botan smiled again, the mischievousness leaving her face and the joyfulness returning. "Well, since I've become the Tentei's case manager, I know Hiei better than most. Would you agree that Hiei is not ugly?"

"Well that's an interesting way to put it, Botan-chan. You say 'attractive' usually."

"That's true, yes," sighed Botan, "but Hiei's a punk, so he's different. I have just now concocted a theory!"

"Oh? Please tell me!"

Once again, mischievousness invaded the joyfulness on Botan's features. "Okay, back to the question, do you think he isn't ugly?"

"Meh." Keiko shrugged. "I guess."

After placing a reassuring hand on Keiko's shoulder, Botan exclaimed, "Well, Keiko my friend, you're not alone! With all my years with the Reikai Tentei, I learned that many girls think the same. In fact, some have approached Hiei…"

Keiko jumped, clamping her hand over her own mouth.

"That's right, Keiko-chan! Women try to seduce Hiei!"

"Oh my gosh! Hiei?"

"Yes! Mostly very pretty girls, too! But you know what?"

"What? What!"

Botan leaned forward, her face almost obnoxiously staring right into Keiko's. Botan hissed, "Hiei rejected every single one of them!"

"Why would he do that?"

Botan leaned back to her original position and rubbed her hands together like a young troublemaker. She was enjoying this moment! "You know, Keiko…"

Now, Keiko was the one who leaned into Botan's face almost obnoxiously. Keiko was incredulous. "There's no way! Hiei? Definitely not Hiei!"

"What kind of man turns down pretty women?" Botan continued rubbing her hands together. "Yes, Keiko-chan! After much thought, I have deduced that Hiei is…"

ooooo

"You know, Touya, I've been short almost all my life. I always wondered what life would be like if I were taller, but I never wished it to happen. I never thought I'd have his opportunity."

"It's not easy to expand a body. If you weren't meant to be taller, the process would have been undoable."

Hiei and Touya just passed between two ornate stone pillars that marked the halfway point of the enormous stairway. Hiei observed the winged angels made of ice at the top of each pillar, admiring the handiwork put into each detail. "How did Dalin-sama know that I was meant to be taller?"

"Well, Hiei, he can tell if anyone has growth left in him if his long bones have epiphysial lines, which indicate potential for growth. In our case, we found them on your femurs, tibias, ulnas…all your long bones, actually."

"How much taller do you think I am now?"

"Mmm…twenty centimeters."

"Yusuke and Kurama are probably still taller than me. The baka is definitely still taller than me."

"Kuwabara?"

"Hn. The one and only."

The steps now were visibly less icy than they were at the top of the stairway. Hiei could feel the air warming up the slightest bit. Taking another deep breath, he could once again note thicker oxygen. "When you get back, can you thank Dalin-sama one more time for me? He worked hard to raise my height."

"Of course."

Hiei stopped abruptly. Touya was a few steps ahead of him before he realized Hiei stopped. As Touya turned around, Hiei observed his hands and arms. "Touya-sensei–"

"–You no longer need to call me that anymore. You may call me Touya."

A ghost of a smile drifted over Hiei's mouth. He continued walking down the steps now, Touya turning back to join him.

"Touya. How did Dalin-sensei find all the minerals to put into my elongated bones?"

Touya shrugged, almost whispering, "Someone like me could never comprehend the level that Dalin-sensei is at, let alone his techniques."

The two continued their trek down the stairs. When they entered the forest, Hiei immediately felt the new warmth from the air leave him. In the forest, little sunlight penetrated the giant trees. Now the stones were no longer icy; they were moist. Hiei cast a glance toward Touya, asking, "Touya, you have a girlfriend, don't you?"

Touya blinked. He didn't expect that Hiei even knew what a girlfriend was. "Yes, Hiei-san. I do."

Looking back at what lay in front of him, Hiei continued to press questions onto his former sensei. "How do you get a girlfriend?"

Hiei heard an amused chuckle. "You have someone in mind, Hiei?"

"Well…" Hiei could feel his face blushing slightly. "...yes, recently, I have had someone in mind."

"Oh?"

"Actually, not recently," corrected Hiei. "For almost a year now."

Touya's eyebrows rose. "Ah, I see. Would you mind telling me who it is?"

Hiei frowned. He was beginning to regret ever bringing up this topic. "You wouldn't believe me if I told you."

"Try me."

Hiei signed dejectedly. "Well, I hope you realize that I don't like her. I've simply been thinking about her."

"I see. Just thinking about her."

"Hn."

Touya looked up at a bird's nest overhead. He knew that when Hiei was in a corner, he'd stall until he found a solution. So, Touya gave him a push. "And…"

"You still want to know who it is, right?"

The silence sent a strong affirmative to Hiei. There was going to be no stalling this time.

"Alright, alright!"

The two kept on walking down the steps. Now, they saw small rodents scurrying up and down the trees.

"It's that baka ferry onna!" Hiei punted a pebble out of his path. "The baka…baka baka baka Botan!"

Touya continued to remain silent, but this time he was just toying with his former pupil. He knew that in five more seconds, Hiei would really start getting pissed off … three … two … one …

"I hate it when you do that, Touya."

"Yes, yes. Botan, eh?"

"That's the one."

"The one and only?"

"Hn. The one and only."

ooooo

"…I have deduced that Hiei is GAY!"

Both girls were silent. For this instance, time had completely stopped – the matrix broke! After the matrix resumed normal function, both girls shrieked and fanned their faces with their hands.

"Botan-chan, that makes so much sense!"

Botan furiously nodded her head, her hair shaking up and down as if it were being juggled. She squealed, "Doesn't it?"

"You know, I wouldn't even be surprised if he came out!"

ooooo

As they reached the bottom of the stairs, Hiei and Touya sorted out Hiei's situation. They have come to the conclusion that since Hiei could count every word he's said to Botan with his fingers, his chances with Botan are zero. Hiei's mood was less than stellar when they found the portal. Before following Touya through the portal to Ningenkai, Hiei groaned. "She probably even thinks I like men…"

ooooo

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