Harry Potter and the Curse of Televised Conservative Christians
Harry was looking forward to his 6th year a whole lot especially because when he wasn't at Hogwarts he was at the Dursleyes. No matter how many times he asked Dumbledoor to either stay at school or go to Ron's or to live with Harmonies house, but as he very well knew Dumbledoor put the protective spell on, well a hell for Harry and he very well knew that, but he did it anyway. Harry was about to wake up again from another weird dream which unlike most people think, the dreams are not very traumatizing after the eighth time you see Voldermort eating christen babies on a wand (he never knew why because Voldermort had never done this before) Then waking up with a long and dispirited.
"Groan" Harry grunted to aunt Petunia's pronounced shriek of
"Get up u mangy cat and get killing mice" She wasn't talking to Harry, but to the new cat they got to kill the mice Dudley was tempting in because of the cake brownies under his bed which his parents as usual are ignoring it point blank, along with Dudley's marijuana problem even when Dudley came home stoned and in his stoned state he even admitted he smoked and threw joints at his dad, but they said that they were plated on him after he had some foregen tea at Mrs. Perkins house that made him loopy. Getting up he went down stairs to breakfast. After Dudley's diet ended late last week with him gaining 20lbs and another chin, so now breakfast was back to bacon and egg on toast, which is like heaven after eating only steamed, boiled or mashed cabbage so Harry was feeling a lot better now.
"We have to take to that freak school's train tomorrow right" said uncle Vernon
"Yes and I believe its called Hogwarts" answered Harry
"Don't get smart with me boy, or it will be now money for those blasted fireworks or what ever you buy with it" Harry was now getting money from the Dursleyes to shut him up, he had mainly been spending it on real fireworks, although wizard fireworks a better they a all show and no bang or burn. Muggle fireworks though less showy are much more dangerous and their more of a risk which made them fun. Harry left the table a little frustrated but in all ok. He spent the rest of the day finding out how loud M-1000s and Black cats were much to the displease of the mrs. and mr. number 3 and 5 next door. Uncle Vernon interrupted Harry in his findings when he yelled
"What ruddy hell do you think your doing with all that noise, it sounds like a gun fight…" This was Harry's que to leave. Leaving the pot-holed lawn he went down the street to the park where he followed Dudley from last year. Along the way to the park people were glaring and giving him mean looks. Most of this was helped by the Durslys comments that he killed and ate puppies, poisoned fluffy hamsters, and suffocated bunnies for fun, which was not true, as we all knew.
Harry went home when he thought uncle Vernon had cooled down which meant he missed lunch, starved and thirsty he came "home" for dinner which went by ok although Aunt Petunia was up set about bringing Harry to London instead of staying at home for a soap opera marathon. That night Harry slept well knowing he would be at Hogwarts the next day un aware of the brooding extremists.