She pulled her hair into a ponytail, cast a glance in a wok so clean she could literally see herself in it, and adjusted her outfit so that it hid all of her womanly features. It had become a ritual ever since Ranma and Genma had abandoned her and run off with her father's okonomiyaki cart. How long ago ten years seemed.
Konatsu had left, off gathering supplies for the restaurant. It was unknown just when he would be back. At least she wouldn't have to close down Ucchan's like she did when she operated the place on her own.
"I hope Ranma-honey likes this," she exclaimed cheerfully as she wrote another declaration of her love onto the Japanese pizza with a brush and sauce. She hadn't seen him since the ruined wedding. Nobody but the Tendo family had, since he'd been hiding out there until school resumed.
The warrior was a little ashamed of her behaviour at the event. Her exploding modern-yaki had actually done more harm than good, if the look on his said anything after he resumed consciousness. Or was it she? There was so much chaos, what with all of the other martial artists running around. Kuno was there, his twisted sister Kodachi, that wretch Shampoo, Mousse, Cologne… Anyone with any connection to Ranma or Akane had arrived. Even Gosunkuji showed up, but only after paying the 1000-yen that Nabiki, Akane's sister, was charging as admittance. Actually, it was Nabiki that had told her where Ranma was. After a payment of five thousand yen, of course Her plan was to wake him up with the smell of the delicious breakfast-yaki she had so lovingly prepared. When he came out to eat it: that was when she would make her move.
Since they were all but empty because of the early hour, she easily walked the streets to the Tendo Dojo instead of running along the fences like she and Ranma had done ten years prior when they were childhood friends.
"Oh, good morning, Ukyo!" Kasumi, the eldest Tendo daughter, said in greeting as the okonomiyaki chef made her way up the path to the front door. Kasumi was already out sweeping off the front porch. Ukyo smiled back and bowed as a sign of respect. Setting the broom down and picking up a watering can, Kasumi told the visitor that nobody else was up yet.
"That's okay, I can wait," Ukyo said with a wave as she headed around the back of the building. Kasumi merely beamed and returned the gesture.
Coiling her legs, Ukyo jumped up onto the tall cement wall and stared at the windows on the upper floor. A light came on in one and the spatula-wielding martial artist stood up. Soon enough, the window slid open and the Tendo daughter with the helmet haircut stuck her head out. "Hey," she called in a half whisper, "aren't you early?"
"Were you rather I was late?" the chef responded as she jumped into the window frame. Nabiki stepped back to allow Ukyo entry into her room. The younger of the two reached into her pocket and fished out 5000 yen. "Here you go, just as promised."
"Fine, you know the way."
Nabiki climbed back into bed. Ukyo adjusted the spatula on her back and tightened her grip on the handle of the okonomiyaki's delivery case. Slowly pushing the door open, she poked her head out to make sure there was no one walking around the halls. Of course, when she stuck her head out someone walked into it.
"Oof!"
"Sorry, Mr. Tendo," she chuckled nervously as she scratched the back of her head.
"Oh, good morning, Ukyo," the moustached father of Ranma's other fiancé said. "Are you here to see Ranma again?"
"Yes, sir," she bowed.
"Very well, then," he smiled. Then he immediately turned around and headed in the direction that Ukyo had intended to go. Moments later, a young man could be heard screaming.
Ranma came running through the hall in his black shorts and matching tank top. Several arrows followed him and a few sunk into the floor in front ok the chef. "I swear! I don't know what you're talking about!"
Shortly after that, Soun Tendo clanked through the same hallway with a bow in his hands and his trademark metal armour covering every inch of his body. "RAAAAANNNNNNNNMMMMMMAAAAAAAAAAA!"
The pig-tailed martial artist dove past Ukyo and into Nabiki's room as Soun tripped and crashed at Ukyo's feet, crushing the arrows that had landed there just seconds before. He ran to the window and attempted to open it, but found it locked. Ukyo scratched her head in confusion. Hadn't she just come through that very same window?
"Why won't you open?" Ranma screamed at the glass as he looked back to see Soun rising to his feet.
Sitting up in bed with a key in her hand, Nabiki gave an evil smirk. "Right here's the key to the window. I'll let you borrow it for a hundred yen."
"Can I pay you tomorrow?"
The middle Tendo daughter rolled her eyes and tossed him the key. Ranma quickly unlocked the window and jumped out of it just as a flurry of arrows hit right where he had been standing. A splashing sound soon reached them.
"Get back here!" the father of three of the four women living in the Tendo household shouted as he too jumped through the window.
A familiar female voice could be heard asking as to whether or not it was honourable for a martial artist to attack a helpless girl. Then many more voices joined in. Someone began shouting about a "pig-tailed girl" and Shampoo's broken Japanese soon came as well. With a shrug, Ukyo sat on Nabiki's bed and opened the box.
"I made it for Ran-Chan, but since he's busy…" she offered. Nabiki tore off a piece and took a bite.
"What's going on?"
Both women looked back to the doorway that the two men had come through just moments before. Dressed in a nightgown and with a very happy yet bruised black pig in her arms, Akane rubbed her eyes and yawned as though nothing unusual were happening.
"Ukyo brought over breakfast. Want some?" Nabiki offered around a mouthful of okonomiyaki.
Sighing, Akane sat on the bed and got herself a piece as well. "I take it you're the reason Daddy is trying to kill Ranma today?"
The chef just smiled and answered with a shrug. Unlike Shampoo and Kodachi, Ukyo didn't actually hate Akane. The tomboy was just another rival. They actually got along fairly well, and even had quite a bit in common. Unfortunately, one of their similarities involved the scheming mind of one certain panda and an engagement to Ranma.
Munching in silence, the three quickly finished off the food. Akane causally walked over to the window and peered out. Then she grabbed a lamp from Nabiki's nearby desk and threw it out the window. A woman could be heard yelling in pain seconds later.
"That's what you get for waking me up, Dummy!" she shouted. Then came catcalls concerning her figure and being macho. Akane turned back to her sister and her friend with an annoyed look. "Excuse me, I have to go deal with something."
She bolted out the door, and her bare feet could be heard on the stairs as she screamed all the way. The black pig bounded after her with every step.
"How can Mr. and Mrs. Saotome sleep through this?" Nabiki asked offhandedly. "Even Akane woke up, and that girl sleeps like the dead."
"Speaking of Akane…" Ukyo said as the pounding of a mallet could soon be heard outside, in addition to the cries of "Ranma!" "Pigtailed-girl!" and the ever-present "Aiya!"
"What?" Nabiki inquired curiously.
Ukyo closed the okonomiyaki box and set it on the floor and she shifted on Nabiki's bed and crossed her legs. "Is she still clueless about Ryoga being P-Chan?"
Nabiki nodded and started counting the bills that Ukyo had given her earlier. "Oh yeah. I figured it out ages ago, and at least once a week I get a few hundred yen out of the sap. I only do it when Kuno's gotten his share of pictures of Akane and Ranma, though."
"Ooh, you have pictures of Ranma-honey?" the chef gushed excitedly. "Can I have some?"
Seemingly out of nowhere, Nabiki held up a handful of pictures of Ranma in various states of dress and consciousness. "Two thousand yen for four, or nine thousand for twenty."
Ukyo reached in her pocket and handed over enough for four pictures. Nabiki added this to the money that she's gotten earlier and then stuffed it under her pillow. "So, what are you planning to do today?"
"Well…" Ukyo murmured thoughtfully. "Since we don't have school today, I was going to try to talk Ran-Chan into a date, but he seems to have plans already." As if to back her up, the level of screaming rose up a notch as a new male voice joined the fray. It seemed Ryoga had found some hot water along the way.
"Well, we could always get undressed."
"What?" Ukyo screamed in horror as she stared at Nabiki with wide eyes.
The older girl held up a finger, reached under her bed, and produced a little old man with a serious case of baldness. "I didn't say anything."
Her hands shaking with rage, Ukyo grabbed the spatula on her back and swung at Happosai, who went sailing out the window with a cry of "PLEASE?"
"You want to do something?" Ukyo asked Nabiki when she got her breathing under control.
"Like what?"
"Well, we could catch a movie or something, unless you just want to get something to eat," the warrior answered.
Nabiki rolled her eyes as a wicked, womanly laugh joined the noise outside. A few black rose petals blew in through the open window and settled onto the floor. She stood up and closed the window before giving an answer. "Hey, I have nothing better to do."
"It'll be my treat, of course."
"If you insist," Nabiki responded half-heartedly. They both knew that she wouldn't have shelled out a dime for anyone but herself.
---
"Stupid Akane. She didn't have to hit me, too," Ranma muttered as he crawled up the stone steps to the Tendo Dojo. The first thing he remembered was waking up to the giant, angry face of Mr. Tendo. Then came the attack, the escape into the yard, and then the usual chaos broke out.
He had fallen into the coy pond and turned into the girl that his mother used to know as Ranko. Shortly after that, Kuno arrived with a handful of roses. Then, one by one, Shampoo, Ryoga, Kodachi, and Akane showed up to either pummel him or try to date with him. Most of it was the former.
Ukyo and Nabiki passed him, deep in a conversation of just how good of an investment Ucchan's would be for the money-loving sister of his "first" fiancé. When she noticed him, which didn't happen until she was already standing on his head, Ukyo looked down with a smile.
"Good morning, Ranma-honey!"
"Morning…" he answered as best as he could, seeing as how his face was being pressed up against the wooden floor of the dojo.
When he thought about it later, Ranma would realize that he had seen Ukyo in the hallway and Nabiki's room. However, he would not be able to figure out why she hadn't chased him down like all of the others. Only Akane, Ryoga, Nabiki, and Ukyo herself would know what she had been doing while his suitors and Mr. Tendo beat him half to death again.
"What are you doing here, Ucchan?" he asked after jumping back onto his feet.
She smiled nervously and looked at Nabiki for help. None was offered. "Um, I brought you breakfast…"
Ranma shouted excitedly and jumped into the air. Ukyo was an excellent cook, with only Cologne as competition. Sure, his mother and Kasumi were good cooks in their own right, but neither of them was good enough to operate a business with food as the base.
"…but I already ate it with Nabiki and Akane."
He fell back to the ground and landed on his head. The chef apologized profusely, but he didn't seem to hear her. Horrible memories from the night before came rushing back. Akane had offered to help Kasumi and his mother with breakfast. No wonder Ryoga had seemed happier than usual while he drove his fist into Ranma's face. The man with the world's worst sense of direction also possessed the most screwed up sense of taste in Japan.
"Looks like you're going to just have to enjoy breakfast here," Nabiki laughed. "Of course, I could bring you something back, for the right price…"
"By the way, what's up with you two? Since when are you friends with us underclassmen, Nabiki?"
The schemer looked offended at the idea. "We're not friends, I'm just not dumb enough to stay here like you and Daddy. He may think that Akane can be cured. I, on the other hand, know better."
"We're going out. Do you want to come, Ran-Chan?" offered the cute fiancé.
"You're not going anywhere, Ranma!" Akane shouted as she smacked him in the back of the head with a mallet. "Kasumi, Mrs. Saotome, and I are working hard on breakfast. You'd better eat it, or else!"
"Why would I want to eat anything made by a macho chick like you?" he shouted back. "You are so uncute!"
"So what if I'm not cute?" Akane screamed as she began chasing Ranma around the dojo with a kendo sword that had mysteriously come out of nowhere.
Nabiki grabbed Ukyo's forearm and pulled her in the direction of the exit. "Quick, while she's distracted! If we don't hurry, we may have to eat it, too!"
"Bye, Ranma-honey!" Ukyo called as she was dragged outside.
"Ranma, get back here!" Akane cried as she continued to swing at him.
--------------------------------------------------------------
A/N: So, what do you think? It's my first fanfic that doesn't involve a videogame. Is it funny? Is it blah? Do you know who I'm talking about in the summary?
Ah, you'll figure it out in a few chapters. Until then, review! Flames are readily accepted.