Ah, this is my first DBZ one shot in a long time. This fic takes place in the Chuquitaverse before the wedding fic and after 'Timeskip'. Many thanks to Chuquita for giving me permission to use her universe. All characters except for Vegchi are really owned by Akira Toriyama and Funimation. Vegchi belongs to me.
The Legend of Vegchi
By Marie Nomad
Gohan sighed as he sat at the lunch table with his food to the side. Videl noticed the huge pile of food was barely touched which was rare for him. It could either mean that he was troubled by something or that he was possessed by Piccolo again. "Gohan, you okay?"
Videl asked as she sat down next to the man. "You're not Piccolo right?"
"Huh?" Gohan blinked and then looked at the food. "Oh no! No! Piccolo-san promised he wouldn't possess me unless he has my permission. Besides, Dende told me that Piccolo never tries the same world domination plan twice. It makes the fics repetitive."
"Right." Videl sweatdropped and then felt Gohan's forehead. "You don't have a fever."
"I'm oh-kay. I just… I'm worried about Mom. I swear, it's like that all she ever thought about was my studies, me marrying you and having a bunch of grandkids, and stopping Vegita from seducing Dad!" Gohan moaned as he put his head on the table. "Just this morning, I accidentally picked up this blueprint to stop Vegita and Dad from getting together." He handed his classmate the blueprint and Videl read it.
Her jaw dropped as she turned it upside down. "Can she get a frying pan that big?"
"Who knows? And Vegita doesn't help since he constantly eggs her on with teasing and stuff like that." Gohan held his head and rubbed his fingers in thick hair. "Those two are going to kill each other or drive each other nuts!"
Videl frowned. While her problems at home were annoying nothing compares to what Gohan has to deal with all the time. "Why don't you just have them get together and talk things out?"
Gohan stared at her. "This is Vegita and my mom. They don't talk, they attack each other every chance they get! I tried to get them into the same room diplomatically but you know how stubborn they are. They can never work things out. It will take an act of god to get this- THAT'S IT!" His eyes lit up and he pounded the table catapulting his food all over the city. "Whoops. Hee hee." He grinned helplessly as he watched a roasted pig flying through the air. "I know a god, several gods in fact! I'll ask them for help to get Mom and Vegita to be friends! Thanks, Videl!" He hugged her and ran off.
Videl blushed brightly and muttered, "Now I know how Vegita feels. Hee hee." Then, she remembered, "Gohan! We have classes!" She screamed as she flew into the air.
Gohan stopped midway and looked down. "Oh right."
XXX
"You want to what?!" Dende asked as he and Gohan were sitting at the table sipping tea.
"I want you to help me find a way to get Vegita and Mom into a more… civil relationship. Those two fight like cats and dogs and I don't know how much more Mom can handle it." Gohan explained as he sipped his tea.
"But… not even I have that much power!" Dende wailed.
"What about you, Kaioshin?" Gohan asked as he looked at Kaioshin who was sitting to the side.
"Not me. I don't have that power either." The small god replied. "But… I do have an idea. He might help you out, I don't know. Let me get him." He got out a cell phone and dialed a number. "Hello? Gorgandus, this is Kaioshin, I need your help. Uh huh. Uh huh. How did you already- oh yeah, you know everything. Yinyo? Perfect! Send him over!"
The small god hung up and then smiled. "You're in luck, Gohan-san. One of the most powerful beings in the Multiverse is going to help you out."
"Who is he?" Gohan asked wide eyed.
Harps sung through the air as a pillar of light shot through the clouds and a tall man flew down. He had long black and silver air with matching black and white wings dressed in robes. Gohan's eyes widened as the light faded and revealed the mysterious man's face. The most distinct thing about this man was his third eye in the middle of his forehead. "Greetings, I am Yinyo, the Angel of Balance and Unity." He introduced himself as he posed in a graceful way that made Gohan jealous.
"Nice poses."
"Thank you, Gohan." The man nodded as he stared at the teenager. "I understand you need help with your mother. I read the fics." The angel whispered as he held out a huge book.
"Can you help me?" Gohan asked hopefully.
"Perhaps." Yinyo smirked and then held his head. "Sacred one, this universe's aura is powerful." His wings glowed darkly and he smirked. "I have the perfect thing." He reached into robe and held out a huge golden orb. "The next time you see your mother with Vegita, toss this in between them and they will get to know each other like they never had before."
"Really?!" The superhero gushed as he held the ball tightly. "Arigato! Yinyo! Kaioshin! Dende!" He flew off in glee.
Kaioshin glanced up at Yinyo who was letting out an eerie dark glow. "Yinyo? Is this universe affecting your mind?"
"Not really." Yinyo replied as he smirked and then laughed out loud. "BWAHAHAHA!!!"
Kaioshin pointed at him and the angel vanished. "That is why I don't visit this world too often. The Chuquita factor is overwhelming even for the most powerful of gods and angels."
"What's the Chuquita factor?" Dende asked nervously.
"Don't worry; you're immune since you're from this world and written quite well in character for now." Kaioshin replied as he teleported away.
"For now!?" The young guardian exclaimed.
XXX
Gohan giggled as he held the golden orb close to his chest as he zoomed through the air in his Saiyanman uniform.
"What'cha got there?" Vejitto asked as he and Gogeta were flying beside Gohan in a vintage airplane while wearing Fighter Flyer goggles and leather jackets.
"Why are you flying in that old fashioned airplane? You can fly by yourself." Gohan asked and then shook his head. "Never mind. I learned a long time ago not to try to figure you two out."
"Hee hee, he's nice even if he is Onna's offsping but that's okay because he looks just like Tousan." Vejitto giggled as they flew though the air.
"Right, Dad." Gohan nodded as he sweatdropped.
"What's that thing?" Gogeta asked as he pointed to the ball in Gohan's hands.
//I can't let them touch it. Those guys might break it.// Gohan thought nervously. "It's a gift for Mom and Vegita. I thought it might be a good idea for Mom and Vegita to bury the hatchet so to speak. You know, so Mom won't be plotting against Vegita any more."
"Then, Tousan will be safe!" Gogeta gushed happily.
"Hai, Okasan won't have to worry about being blown up by that super bazooka of Onna's!" Vejitto exclaimed as he clapped his hands.
"Yeah!" Gohan fully agreed still slightly confused about what the two fusions call their parents. "Anyway, I have to go and give this to them. Bye!" He waved as he powered up and flew away.
"Buh bye!" The fusions waved back.
Gohan landed at Capsule Corps and walked into the kitchen to see Goku and Vegita having ice cream while Chi Chi was staring at them intensely. Ever since that incident with 'Veggiezilla', his mother had been watching Vegita like a hawk making sure he didn't grow any more despite all of Bulma's assurances that Vegita's current height was permanent and he won't grow (unless he became Oozaru but there's no way Bulma will remind Chi Chi that).
"Hiya, son!" Goku chirped as he licked the chocolate ice cream.
"Hi." Gohan said as he grinned and hid the ball behind his cape. "Where's Goten and Trunks?"
"They're playing video games with Bura." Goku replied as he grinned.
"Good." Gohan nodded as he switched out of his costume, sat down at the table, and got out a tub of ice cream. Chi Chi glared at Vegita who was sitting very close to Goku.
"Wanna share ice cream, Veggie?" Goku asked as he held out his tub of ice cream.
Vegita glanced at Chi Chi who was still glaring and smirked. "Of course, Kakay." He got out the peasant repel and sprayed the tub.
"No!" Chi Chi screamed, "That's indirect kissing!"
"So? Kakay wants to share ice cream with me." Vegita said as he took a spoonful of ice cream and plopped it into his mouth.
Gohan leaned on his hand. //And now this is the part in which Mom will get all paranoid and make wild accusations.//
"You little Ouji! You are playing my Goku-san like a fiddle!"
//And then Vegita will make some snide remark to make Mom even madder.// Gohan figured.
"At least I can sing. You sound like a regular banshee."
//That is when Dad would make some random remark that is not related to the conversation and go to get more food.//
"I love pie!" Goku exclaimed as he got up and get more food leaving the three alone.
//Now's my chance.// Gohan thought as he clutched the sphere in his hand.
"You can't do that!" A mini Gohan exclaimed over his right shoulder dressed in his Saiyanman outfit. "They are adults, they can handle this on their own."
"Yeah right." A mini Gohan said dressed as Piccolo appeared over his left shoulder. "You can't trust these two. Mom's going nuts and Vegita is not that far behind."
"Stay out of this!" Saiyanman Gohan screamed as he went into fighting position.
"Oh no you don't!" Piccolo Gohan growled as he went into a fighting pose as well. The two mini Gohans fought and a cloud of smoke appeared around them. When the cloud cleared, Piccolo Gohan stood on top of Saiyanman Gohan grinning triumphantly. "Go for it!"
"Right!" Gohan nodded as he tossed the ball into the air. Vegita and Chi Chi looked up to see the glowing orb flying at them. The orb hovered in between them and Gohan watched expectantly. A bright light grabbed the human woman and the saiyan man.
"AHHH!!!!" Chi Chi screamed as she felt her body being tugged up to Vegita who was being flung the same way.
Vegita's eyes widened as he remembered the same feeling he had a long time ago.
"Come on, Veggie, just put on this earring and we can defeat Buu!" Goku urged as he put on his patora earring.
"Fine." Vegita muttered as he put on the patora earring. "What does this do?"
"Oh, just fuse us together for all eternity." Goku giggled as he was pulled toward him by the ear thanks to the earring.
"WHAT?!"
"NNNNOOOOO!!!" Vegita screamed in horror as he and Chi Chi were pulled together and a white light engulfed both of them.
Goku came in carrying a pie and gasped as Vegita and Chi Chi vanished. He can feel his bonds breaking. "Veggie! Chi-Chan!" He screamed as he teleported to where the two were only to see a glowing ball. "What happened?" Goku wondered as he peered at his reflection in the ball.
"I don't know." Gohan replied truthfully as he put his hands behind his back. //Oh man, I am going to be in so much trouble if anything happens to Mom.//
The ball shook violently and then it broke apart. A figure appeared out of nowhere. The figure was dressed in a dark blue Chinese style dress with long gloves and matching boots. She was small and shapely with with long spiky hair and beady eyes. She opened her eyes and looked at the two. "What happened?" She asked in a strange dualistic voice.
Goku and Gohan gulped as they jumped back. "Who are you?" Goku hesitantly came up and studied her.
"I am neither Chi Chi nor Vegita, I am… Vegchi." Vegchi announced as she smirked.
"Oh shit." Gohan muttered as he turned bright red. His mother and Vegita was now sharing the same mind, body, and soul. How can they handle that?
"Don't curse like that!" Vegchi scolded as she slapped Gohan on the hand. "I don't want to see my little boy swearing like a sailor!"
"Sorry." Gohan bowed his head.
"Wow! You're a fusion!" Goku grinned happily. "Goggie and Vejito have their own little sister!" He paused as he looked at Vegchi's waist. "Uhhh… you are a girl right?"
"Actually, I have Vegita's parts too." Vegchi said as she gestured to Nango who was waving behind her and then grabbed Goku's hand and placed it over her crotch.
Goku's eyes widened. "Wow! You have balls and boobs! I didn't even know that's possible!"
"Dad!!!" Gohan wailed as he pulled Goku's hand away. "Mo- eh... what should I call you? And are you a male or female?"
"You can call me what you wish, my little superhero and since I look more like a woman than a man, you can just say that I am a 'she'." Vegchi replied and then looked down at her outfit.
"Oh-kay!" Goku nodded and then stared at her. "I never saw a girl fusion before! All the fusions have been guys! You're so small and cute, I can see so much of Veggie but I can definitely see parts of Chi-chan too."
Vegchi blushed as she looked at him. "Hai…"
"I bet Chi-chan's happy to have her own fusion baby too! She's always jealous Veggie and my fusion babies and… Veggie… Chi-chan…" Goku's eyes watered up as he looked at Vegchi. "They're gone! WAH!!!"
Vegchi came up and hugged him. "There there, they're not gone… they are right here in my mind and soul and as long as you have me you have them." She cooed as she patted his shoulder.
"But, it's not the same!!!" Goku wailed even harder into Vegchi's shoulder.
"I can make cookies." Vegchi chirped as she stepped back.
"sniff sniff Cookies?" Goku repeated as he blinked away his tears.
"Hai."
":) Yay! Cookies by Vichi-chan!" Goku gushed as he picked up Vegchi and held her.
"Oh brother." Gohan moaned as he slammed his head onto the table.
XXX
"Doo doo do doo do…" Vegchi sung to herself as she took out the cookies from the oven.
"Kaka-san! The cookies are done!"
"Yay!" The taller Saiyan teleported to the cookies and popped two in his huge mouth. "Hmmmm… these tastes better than even Chi-chan's or Veggie's!"
"I do have the combination of their cooking skills." Vegchi replied as she smiled.
"I smell cookies!" Goten exclaimed as he and Trunks ran in.
"I want Daddy's cookies too!" Bra proclaimed as she ran in after the two boys.
"Yay! Cookies!" Vejito and Gogeta gushed as they appeared out of nowhere and drooled over the cookies.
"Did I hear cookies?" Mirai Trunks asked as he and Raddiz came in.
"They're coming out of the woodwork." Gohan said as he popped a cookie in his mouth.
"I'll cook some more cookies in just a minute." Vegchi said sweetly as she mixed more batter. "Just sit down and I'll get more cookies."
"Who are you?" Mirai asked suspiciously. "You look a lot like Dad and yet…" His blue eyes looked down at the tail behind Vegchi. "Are you a Saiyan?"
"Yes, I am… sort of." Vegchi replied as she smirked.
"Sort of?" The others repeated confused.
"You mean she's half Saiyan like me?" Goten asked as he hopped onto a stool and took a cookie.
"Not like you, Goten-chan." Vegchi grinned as she put more cookies into the oven.
"Ooh! Ooh! I know! She's Daddy's long lost sister! But, I don't remember Daddy even having a sister." Gogeta said as he waved his hand.
"I didn't know Veggie had a sister." Goku said thoughtfully and then everyone looked at Raddiz who was stuffing his face with cookies.
The huge Saiyan swallowed and said, "Vegita does not have a sister."
"I am not that Ouji's sister. I'm a fusion of that Ouji and Onna." Vegchi crossed her arms and scowled.
Silence filled the air as all of the Saiyans and demi-Saiyans stared at Vegchi. Finally, Goten broke the tension with a simple question. "If Vegita is part of you, then are you a boy or a girl?"
The group pondered and then Goku spoke up. "She looks more like a girl but she has balls! I felt them!"
Mirai looked at Vegchi with wide eyes and then fainted. "Poor guy." Vegchi said as she picked up the teenager and cradled him. "Don't worry, Auntie Vegchi is here."
"Mom's coddling." Gohan muttered as he tried to remain the sane one of the group.
"NO! NO! Not fair!" Bra screamed at the top of her lungs. "Why does my Daddy have to share the same body as that evil Onna?!" She came up to Vegchi and shook her. "Give back Daddy you evil witch!"
Vegchi gently and firmly grabbed Bra's wrists and hugged her. "I'm sorry, Princess, I can't bring Vegita back. I'm not your father but I'm not Chi Chi either. So, just think of me as your Auntie."
Bra sniffed as she pulled back. "You're much nicer than that mean old witch."
"Oh thank you so much." Vegchi sweatdropped.
"Oooh! That means we have a little fusion sister!" Vejitto exclaimed in joy as he hugged Vegchi.
"Isn't she a half-sister since half of her is that evil Onna." Gogeta pointed out.
"Chi Chi is not evil!" Vegchi screamed at the top of her lungs and the two fusions backed off. "Stop calling her evil! I hate it when you call her that!" The group stared at the newest fusion and she said, "I'll go and get the cookies ready."
After the female fusion left to get more stuff, Mirai woke up and said, "You know, we have to figure out a way to get Dad and Chi Chi apart without killing 'Vegchi'. How did they fuse in the first place? The Dragon Balls are still inactive, there's no way that they would do the fusion dance or those patora earrings."
"I don't know but Gohan was there." Goku said and then everyone looked at Gohan. The teenager gulped as he looked on his shoulders to see a mini Saiyanman Gohan with his arm in a sling and mini Piccolo Gohan smirking.
"These idiots don't know what happened and you gotta keep it like that." Piccolo Gohan said as he crossed his arms.
"But, you have to tell them the truth." Saiyanman Gohan said as he shook. "That way they can reverse this situation."
"Kawaii! Little Gohans!" Goku picked up the two and hugged them to his face. "They're not as cute as little Veggies but they are just as little."
"Hey! Cut that out!" Piccolo Gohan yelled as he pounded his little fists on the huge Saiyan's cheeks.
"Ow!!!" Saiyanman Gohan whined as he felt his injuries increasing.
"Ummm… guys, I have something to tell you…" Gohan said hesitantly.
"What is going on?" Bulma asked as she came in and saw Vegchi. "And who is she?"
"Ehhh… you see…" Gohan took a deep breath and said,
"IwantedtohelpMomwithherbosessionsoIwenttoKaioshinandhegotthisangeltogivemethisorbandItosseditbetweenthemandtheyfusedintoVegchi."
"… WHAT?! YOU FUSED VEGITA AND CHI CHI TOGETHER?!" Bulma screamed at the top of her lungs. "What kind of hair brained scheme is that?!"
"I didn't mean to." Gohan squeaked as he hid behind the chair. "I just wanted to help Mom out and I thought that if she and Vegita were friends, then she won't be so obsessive about Vegita and Dad."
"Awww… you were concerned about Chi Chi?" Vegchi said as she came up and hugged Gohan. "That's so sweet. I just wish you could tell her about your concerns."
"That's not all right!" Bulma argued as she got up and grabbed Vegchi by the sleeve.
"Come on, we have to figure out how to fix this mess. We're going to the lab."
"No! You're not strapping me to the wall! You're not going to do this to me!!!" Vegchi wailed as she pulled away only to get caught by Goku and tossed over her shoulder.
XXX
"I can't believe I'm strapped to the wall." Vegchi muttered to herself as she looked around.
"Relax, I'm just scanning you." Bulma said as she tapped onto the counsel. "I took tests of Gogeta when he first came here when he was two days old. I've also done tests on Gotenks and Vejitto. We just have to see if we can separate Vegchi like we did with Gogeta…. Oh no."
"What?" Gohan said as he peeked over her shoulder.
"Let me show you." Bulma turned the screen. "This is Gotenks's brainwaves." She pointed to a monitor with three lines. "Those lines are Goten's, Trunks's, and Gotenks' individual brainwaves. Gotenks was a tad… cocky because he was basically unbalanced." She pointed to a pair of screens, one with three lines and the other with just one line. "These two are Gogeta's. That one with the three lines was his when he first got here and the second was when we purged him of the alternate Goku and Vegita's minds and bodies." Bulma sighed as she pointed to the final screen. "That is Vegchi's brainwaves. The fusion caused by that mysterious orb is stronger than even the patora earrings."
"Well, the angel who gave me that orb was the Angel of Balance and Unity." Gohan said as he thought about his encounter with the mysterious angel.
"I think this is definitely 'unity'." Raddiz muttered as the group walked down to another part of the lab.
"We can see if Dende can 'cure' Vegchi like he did with Gogeta." Bulma said.
"I'm afraid I can't do that." Dende said as he came up. "My technique only handles the patora fusion and anything weaker. The fusion orb is the most powerful fusion technique in the multiverse. It is beyond my power. Kaioshin is trying to find Yinyo but he's gone a little… off radar."
"Awww… Veggie and Chi-chan are going to be one for-ever!" Goku pouted.
"I wish you wouldn't say it like that. That is disturbing." Bulma pointed out as she sweatdropped.
Raddiz glanced around and asked, "Where is that female fusion?"
"Ooops." Bulma squeaked, "We left her-"
BOOM!!!
"In the lab!" Bulma finished and they ran into the lab where Vegchi was blasting everything into rubble.
"Die!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" The female fusion screamed as she held a huge monitor over her head.
"Vegchi! Stop making a mess!" Goku pleaded as he powered up to Super Saiyan and tackled Vegchi. The two fell down onto the floor with Goku holding the smaller semi-Saiyan down by the wrists.
Vegchi looked at their position and said, "Oh, Kaka-san. You're such an animal, holding me down in a non-platonic sort of way." She giggled.
"Did she just say 'non-platonic'?" Radditz asked.
"Oh yeah." Bulma muttered.
Goku blinked and then he leapt into the air. "EEK! I am doing naughty stuff with Vegchi!" He put both hands on his head. "Think bad thoughts go. Go away. Go away."
Vegchi sauntered up to Goku and grabbed his huge arm with her smaller hands. "I am not Vegita. You don't have to suppress your emotions about me."
"But, Chi-chan will be mad at me if I have thoughts about a fusion of Veggie."
"I am half-Chi-chan and half-Veggie. You don't have to worry about me." Vegchi whispered as she climbed onto Goku's back and nuzzled his neck.
"Oh no you don't!" Raddiz said as he and Gohan pulled the female fusion off the stunned Saiyan.
"Hey!"
"Sorry, but when we get Vegita and Chi Chi apart, they might remember everything and get mad." Raditz quickly explained.
"I am mad already!" Vegchi pulled away and glared at the group. "HOW DARE YOU LEFT ME BEHIND ALL BY MYSELF?! I HATE IT WHEN YOU FORGET ABOUT ME!"
"We would never forget about you, Vichi-chan." Goku said as he came up and hugged her.
"You do all the time!" Vegchi yelled startling the Saiyan. "Lights!" The lights turned off and Vegchi got out a slide show projector. The first slide shows Chi Chi crying at an empty table. "This is Chi Chi being left behind after she found out that her husband is dead and her son is kidnapped by Piccolo after a nasty fight with Radditz."
"Oh right." Radditz muttered.
"Next up…" Vegchi clicked to reveal Chi Chi standing on the hospital rooftop. "This is Chi Chi after she was left behind without so much as a word of goodbye from Goku."
She pressed the button to reveal Chi Chi being tied up and alone in the middle of the field. "And this is Chi Chi after left alone by you after that fiasco involving Goku crowning Vegita king."
"We only left Chi-chan alone for a few hours." Goku amended.
"WHAT ABOUT THIS?!" Vegchi screamed as she clicked to reveal Chi Chi alone on a deserted island being attacked by seagulls.
"What happened then?" Radditz asked as he and the others were watching with popcorn tubs in their laps.
Vegchi stepped up and replied, "Chi Chi was stranded on a deserted island for two weeks while everyone else was partying!" She clicked again to reveal the gang wearing party hats and dancing on a cruise ship.
"I didn't mean to forget you, I swear!" Goku cried as he bowed his head.
"She did have a point." Bulma muttered, "It does feel like that everyone was in the loop except for Chi Chi."
Vegchi said as she clicked to reveal herself being strapped onto the wall alone.
"That is why I won't let that happen to me again. If you do… you will feel my eternal wrath."
The group gulped. "Chi Chi's temper and Dad's power is a scary combination." Mirai concluded.
Vegchi grinned brightly and said, "I'm going to get changed into something a little more comfortable." She teleported out.
"I… will go and tell the others." Bulma said as she walked out of the lab.
"It will be a very long day." Gohan concluded and then he had to wonder. "How did Auntie Vegchi get those slides?"
XXX
Bulma sat on the couch taking a brief break from her work in the lab. So far, she couldn't think of anything to separate Vegita and Chi Chi. All of simulations ended with either Vegchi blowing up and destroying the entire solar system or turning her/him into a bizarre fusion of a coffee candy and an egg. She promised her family she would take it easy after a possible future version of Vegita told her about her breakdown thanks to too much work.
The doorbell rang and she answered the door. "Yeah?" She said as she opened the door and saw the entire gang dressed in party gear complete with festive hats.
"Hey, Bulma! We heard the great news!" Yamcha said as he came in and hugged her.
"We sensed Vegita's ki go out and since he's not in space or anywhere like that, he must be dead." Piccolo said as he put a party hat on Bulma's head. "Now, we party."
"I got the beer." Krillian said as he held up a keg.
"I brought nachos!" Tien supported as he held up a huge bag of nachos.
"And I baked this lovely cake." Lunch said as she came up with a cake.
"I'm sorry you're dead, Shorty, good riddance?" Bulma read confused.
"I sneezed while writing the message." Lunch giggled.
"Oh brother." Bulma moaned, "Look, I hate to interrupt but Vegita's not dead."
"He's just turned into stone like last time?" Yamcha asked as he got out a statue price guide.
"NO!" Bulma's face turned bright red and then out of nowhere, drums sounded. The group paused to see a sexy Saiyan woman coming out of the door. She was dressed in a dark blue tank top showing her tight stomach and bicycle pants that just fit her thighs.
The fusion half female cocked her hip as a saxophone played in the distance.
"Did I hear the word 'party'?" Vegchi whispered as the guys gawked at her. Most of them were drooling except for Piccolo who was in shock.
"Hi, I'm Yamcha, who are you?" Yamcha asked as he took her hand and then saw the tail. "That's a tail! You're a Saiyan?!"
"Half-Saiyan, half-Human, all powerful." Vegchi said as she stroked Yamcha's neck. "You have such a fine body for a mere human, a pity my heart belongs to Kaka-san."
"Kaka-san?" Yamcha repeated as he stepped away blushing.
"Who or what are you?" Krillian asked confused. "Don't tell me you're from another future."
"Nope, I'm born in this timeline only a couple of hours ago." Vegchi laughed as she smirked again in an eerily familiar way.
Piccolo paled as he stared at the woman. Being the combination of three different Namekians gave him an instinct about fusions. "Oh no. Don't tell me…" He said as he shook his head. "No way."
":)" Vegchi smirked as she posed dramatically and replied, "Yes! I am Vegchi! The fusion of Vegita and Chi Chi! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Lightning crashed in the background making everyone jump.
"Don't do that!" Bulma ordered.
"A-A fusion of Vegita and Chi Chi?!" Puar squeaked as he hid behind Yamcha. "That's absolutely scary!"
"Aw man." Krillian's eyes bulged out of his head.
"We're keeping the Dragon Balls away from you." Piccolo said as he picked up his jaw.
"Wait a second…" Tien paused as he looked at Vegchi. "If you're the combination of Vegita and Chi Chi, are you a boy or a girl?"
Vegchi smirked as she sat down with the cake in front of her. "Guess." She said as she put her finger onto the cake, picked up her finger, and licked it with her tongue.
"Uhhh…" Yamcha paled as he backed away slowly.
"She has both boobs and balls." Goku said as he appeared out of nowhere and started to eat the cake. "I felt them."
"WHOA!" The group fell over.
"You mean that she- I mean he- I mean, Vegchi has both?!" Roshi exclaimed as his eyes bulged out of his sunglasses.
"That's right so don't touch me you pervert or I will be very angry." Vegchi said as her tail twitched. "And you don't want to see me angry."
Roshi gulped as he took several steps back.
"Oh well, it's so nice of you to prepare my welcoming party." Vegchi smirked as she started to eat.
"Thank u for the party!" Goku said as his tail wagged.
"Ehhh… no problem." Yamcha laughed nervously and Bulma cocked an eyebrow at the nervous group. "So… um… Vegchi, are you going to stay that way or are you going to find a way to get Vegita and Chi Chi out."
"I'm staying this way forever. Why should I let those two be apart?" Vegchi asked as she cocked her hips slightly. "I have the combined strength and power of two of the most feared warriors in the world. Why do I want to give that up?"
"…"
"…"
"But, I want Veggie and Chi-chan back!" Goku wailed, "I miss them and their food and their funny kakawar fighting!"
"You… want them instead of me?" Vegchi whispered stunned. "I am your perfect mate. I have good looks and power. I am half-human so I am immune to your Kaka germs and half-Saiyan along with half immortal so I can live as long as you. Why won't you accept me?"
"Because you're not really Veggie or Chi-chan."
Vegchi scowled and screamed, "IF YOU DON'T WANT ME, FINE! I CAN TAKE CARE OF MYSELF!" With a thought, she flew up and vanished.
"Vichi-chan?" Goku whispered as he looked around. "Vichi-chan?!"
XXX
"Poor Vichi-chan." Goku moaned as he held his head. "She is out there alone and scared with no one to protect her at such a young and vul-ner-able age of six hours!"
"She's a fusion, Goku, she can handle herself." Bulma comforted, "I mean, she's the combination of two of the most independent people I know. She's fine."
"But I look every-where!" The Saiyan wailed. "I looked back home, at Ox-King's palace, Veggie's favorite ice cream parlor, Veggie's special secret hiding spot which he didn't want me to know, Chi-chan's favorite hunting place, her weapons storage area, and even her special secret spot which I can't say anything about! I can't find Vichi-chan and it's all my fault! WAAAHHH!!!"
"I'm sure she's fine, Dad. If anything happens, we could've sensed it by now." Gohan said as he made some sandwiches.
"But she's all a-lone! She could be hurt in some deep dark alley somewhere or surrounded by vicious cannibals." Goku said as he pictured Vegchi being tied up and surrounded by spear wielding cannibals.
Bulma shook her head at the picture and turned on the television. "And this is just in, a woman had just declared herself 'Queen of the World'." The announcer said nervously.
"Huh?!" The Z Warriors said as they looked at the TV to see Vegchi sitting on a throne licking strawberry ice cream while being surrounded by tall handsome men all dressed in strangely familiar servant maid outfits.
"Or she could be taking over the world." Bulma muttered flatly.
"Wow! Little sis is queen." Gogeta gasped astonished.
"Awww… :( she's only six hours old and she's more ahead than us." Vegitto pouted. "Why didn't we take over the world?"
"Too much paperwork." Gogeta replied.
"Oh. :)"
"Greetings, People of Planet Earth. I am Vegchi Oujisama Mao Son, Queen of the World. As your new queen, I hereby pass the following rules." Vegchi said as she rolled out a long paper that reached down onto the ground and out of the view. "First, I hereby rename this planet 'Planet Vegchita.'"
"Figures." Bulma rolled her eyes, "That's Vegita's genes."
"Second, all children eighteen and under are required to have cell phones so they can call their parents and not make them worried."
"Mom." Gohan nodded.
"Third, Sayiango must be established as a national language and be taught to everyone."
"Father." Mirai Trunks said.
"Fourth, I hereby remove bans on weapon use by all housewives."
"Chi Chi." Krillian muttered.
"Fifth, for the betterment of mankind, no more William Hung albums!"
The group looked at each other. "No clue." Bulma said as she shook her head.
"Sounds like both. We better go before we start wearing Saiyan armor and speaking Saiyango."
"Oooohhh! We better go!" Goku gasped as he ran off. "To the limo!"
XXX
After a quick limo ride, Goku and the others rushed to the palace. A palace guard held up his hand. "Hold it. Who are you?" He asked.
"I'm Vegchi's half husband and half future oujo." Goku said with his oujo outfit that mysteriously appeared out of nowhere.
"We're Vegchi's older brothers." The fusions said as they grinned.
"Huh?" The guard asked.
"Let them in." Vegchi said as she came up. She was dressed in flowing robes with a crown on her head. "Ah, welcome to my new castle. I know it's a little humble but give me a few months and I will have it very much like that great palace Chi Chi had visited in the possible future."
"Wow... does this mean I finally get to be your oujo?" Goku asked excitedly.
"That's right." Vegchi sighed as she smirked. "You can be my little oujo."
"Hooray!" Goku exclaimed.
"Wait a second. You can't just take over the world." Bulma said as she came up.
"Already did." Vegchi said as she held out a contract.
"How did you do that?" Gohan asked baffled at the fact that his mother's fusion had just taken over the world.
"Oh, I just seduced the Emperor into signing this paper proclaiming me ruler of the world." Vegchi explained as she handed the contract to Gohan. "Isn't it wonderful, I get to rule the world like I always wanted to do since I was a child! Well, I would if I had a childhood to begin with!"
"You can't do that!" Piccolo growled, "You can't take over the world just because you're mad at Goku!"
Vegchi's lips pressed together into a familiar smirk. "You're jealous because I took over the world and you didn't."
Piccolo paled and then he went into a nearby corner and sulked. Clouds of depression loomed over him. "There there." Gohan said as he patted the Namekian's shoulder.
"Anyway, Bulma's right, you can't take over the world. It's not right." Goku chided.
"Awww... but look at this palace! I can do so much with it!" Vegchi said as she gestured. "Come on, let me show you." The female fusion marched the group into the palace.
The group oohed and ahhed at the various Saiyan sculptures, paintings of Vegchi, and even a huge statue of Vegchi spitting out water in a fountain. "You did all this in six hours?!" Bulma screamed in shock. "How's that possible?"
":)"
"I forgot who's part of you for a moment." The woman muttered, "I'll never fully understand Saiyans or Saiyan fusions."
"Yes, and we like it very much." Vegchi chuckled. "This is just the beginning… today the planet, tomorrow… THE UNIVERSE! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!" A clash of lightning came out of nowhere scaring everyone.
"How does she do that?" Goku said wide eyed. "Vichi-chan, do you really want to rule the universe?"
"It's my destiny. I want to be pampered and praised and can go where ever I like and destroy whoever and whatever I like. I want people to wet their pants at the very sound of my name! Oh, Kaka-san, we can conquer the Universe together." Vegchi sighed as her cheeks glowed red and she held herself.
"Okay, now she's scaring me." Trunks whispered to Gohan. "Why did you use that stupid orb?"
"I didn't know this will happen." Gohan whispered back.
"You know, I can hear you." Vegchi said as her eyebrow twitched.
"Oops. I'll go and study for a while." Gohan laughed as he stepped away and then flew off.
"I'll go too." Goten said as Trunks followed.
XXX
Gohan marched through the Lookout. He had to find a way to fix this mess. Vegchi had just conqured the world and she was only six hours old. "Dende!"
"Hey, Gohan." Dende said nervously as he came up with a huge book. "I noticed what happened down on Earth. Piccolo's jealous."
"What the heck is going on?! Vegchi is out of control! She's flirting with Dad and the others and taken over the planet with pure seduction!" Gohan screamed at his friend.
"Well... I found this book in the library. It's about fusions." He flipped to the page and said, "Here's the part about female fusions."
Gohan took the book and read, "Mixed gender fusions tend to be more female due to the 'X' chromosomes. However, mixed gender fusions are chaotic. Any inhibited urges by the people part of the fusion is expressed fully. INHIBITED URGES?!"
"Yeah." Dende said as he nodded. "Vegchi is not inhibited by anything. She won't hesitate to do anything. And you know about how Vegita is with his feelings toward Goku. Granted they are platonic in nature but combine that with Chi Chi's suppressed feelings and…"
"Aw man. We got a superpowerful scheming fusion of two of the most feared fighters in the world who has a huge crush on my father!" Gohan wailed, "It can't get any worse than this!"
Dende gulped as he tensed up. "My Namekian godly sense is tingling."
"Huh?" Gohan looked at him oddly.
"You better go."
XXX
"Hmmm… this is so yummy." Vegitto gushed as he and the others were eating.
"I do admit, I missed eating palace Saiyan foods. I didn't even know Vegita knows the recipes." Raddiz said as he tasted the foods.
"Well, maybe Vegchi used Chi Chi and Vegita's culinary abilities to figure out how to cook things like this." Bulma said as she sampled the foods. She looked at the various servants dressed in the 'servant maid outfits'. "Don't you feel uncomfortable wearing those?"
"A little at first." A servant maid confessed as he looked at his skirt, "But, they actually feel pretty comfortable and I feel pretty in this."
"You too? Wow, I thought it was just me. This outfit matches my hair." Another servant asked.
"It's so you."
"You too."
"Oi…" Bulma rolled her eyes.
"GUYS!" Gohan screamed as he bashed down the door and took a deep breath. "WHERE'S DAD AND VEGCHI?"
"Huh?" The group looked around in confusion.
"What's wrong?" Mirai asked.
"We have go get Vegchi and Dad apart as soon as possible!" Gohan screamed, "Dende told me that mixed sex fusions have no inhibitions. They're out of control! Vegita's deepest desires, Mom's deepest desires, Vegchi will do anything to get what she wants! That's why she's ruling the world right now!"
"Hold the phone." Bulma said as calmly as possible. "You mean to tell me that Vegchi won't hold herself back on anything?!"
Gohan nodded.
"Aw darn it! Knowing Vegchi, she's doing some crazy scheme to seduce Son-kun! Let's go and save them!" Bulma proclaimed as she posed heroically.
"Yay!!!" The fusions cheered behind her.
The group ran out of the room and followed Goku's ki to a huge room surrounded by fountains of naked Saiyans spitting up water. In the middle was Goku sitting in a hot tub bathing.
"Hi!" Goku exclaimed as he waved. "Vichi-chan's off on an errand and she told me to get cleaned up. She has a sur-prise for me!"
"What kind of 'surprise?" Gohan asked.
"I don't know but I bet it's something really really nice!" Goku gushed as he blushed bright red.
"Oh you bet." Vegchi said as she came in covered in seagull feathers.
"What were you doing?" Bulma asked as Vegchi picked away the feathers.
"Oh, I was unleashing some pent up anger against a certain group of seagulls and an accursed deserted island and as soon as I clean up I'm going to Hell to beat up some more bad guys. Hee hee." Vegchi giggled as she rubbed her hands together. "It feels so good to be me."
"Maybe we should think about that later." Gohan said as he waved his hands. "Why don't we try to get Mom and Vegita out first?" Gohan blinked to see Vegchi sitting in the hot tub next to Goku with her clothes laid out all over the floor. "GAH!!!"
At once the group turned around covering their eyes. "I will not look. The sight of a woman with one of those… I might not be a pervert any more." Master Roshi shivered as he paled.
"I'm not looking." Bulma argued.
"Someone has to stop them before things get too far." Gohan said logically.
"Stop what, Gohan?" Goku asked as he came up with Vegchi snuggling up on his back. The two were wearing swimsuits.
"Oh good, you're properly clothed." Bulma sighed in relief and then saw Vegchi clutching onto Goku's back with little hearts floating around her. "WILL YOU CUT THAT OUT?!"
"Jealous?" Vegchi giggled as she blushed.
"No!" Bulma cried out as she blushed as well. "It's just that you're half Vegita and that's just creepy."
"I'm half Chi Chi as well and Kaka-san always snuggles up to Vegita like this so I'm 3/4s required to do this to Kaka-san." Vegchi replied as she nuzzled her nose into Goku's neck purring. Mirai Trunks and Gohan teamed up and pulled the female fusion off. "HEY!!!"
"Sorry, but we can let you do this." Gohan said as he held Vegchi's arm.
"That's right." Mirai replied as he and the others held on to the female fusion tightly. "We don't want you to be doing anything Vegita or Chi Chi might regret later." The man paused and asked Goku, "Would they remember?"
"Well, when I was Vegitto, all I remembered was being in a white room and being one with Veggie both body and soul… It was magical." Goku gushed.
"But, when Mommy and Daddy were in my body, they remembered everything." Gogeta spoke up.
"Okay, so it can go either way." Bulma muttered as she sweatdropped. "And Son-kun please don't phrase it that way. It's making me feel kinda funny thinking Vegita and Chi Chi like… that."
"Okie dokie."
"Oh… can't a mixed sex fusion have some fun?" Vegchi pouted as she pulled away from the demi-Saiyans.
"Not when it involves conquering the world and seducing Son-kun!" Bulma yelled.
":("
"Awwww… poor Vegchi." Goku sighed as he came up and hugged the fusion. "She's so lost and confused just like Veggie."
Vegchi turned bright red as she felt the arms. "Oh my, Kaka-san. Can you help me in my royal duties of making the peasants know who's boss?"
"I don't think we should do that, Vegchi-chan. You can't trick people into giving you their planets. That's not nice." Goku said as he waved his finger.
"Okay, so I should have just kill off the army and take it by force?" Vegchi asked as she got out Chi Chi's super bazooka.
"No!" Goku said as he took the bazooka. "It's just that people are going to be mad at you and will try to hurt you."
"You really care about me?" Vegchi whispered wide eyed.
"Uh huh."
Hearts flew up and around Vegchi as she gazed at him warmly.
"I'm back." Kaioshin said as he and Yinyo appeared out of nowhere. "Did I miss anything?"
Everyone stared at him and facefaulted.
XXX
"I'm sorry for the trouble I caused. I am very sensitive to the vibes of the world and it just threw me off course." Yinyo confessed as he was sipping cappuccino. "I took an inoculation so I'm normal, mostly."
"So, can you get Veggie and Chi-chan out without hurting Vichi-chan?" Goku asked hopefully.
"Yes, it will be tricky since I'm not at my full power. But, it can be done. First, I need you to dress up in the outfit you were in when you were first… formed." Yinyo instructed Vegchi.
"No!" Vegchi crossed her arms. "I will not give up those two!"
"But, I want them back." Goku said with teary eyes. "I like Veggie and Chi-chan and they must be pretty sad to be cooped up in you."
Vegchi sighed as she patted Goku's cheek. "I hate seeing you so sad. Fine, I'll help out whatever I can. Just don't look at me like that."
":)" Goku grinned as he hugged her. "Yay! I knew Vegchi would never let me down!!!"
Vegchi changed into her old outfit and asked, "Now what?"
"Now, we can get started." Yinyo took off his outfit to reveal a black and white magician's outfit underneath. "Now, we will get started." He said as he waved his swords and a tall box appeared out of the floor. "Behold, first I need Vegchi here to step into this box." Yinyo said as he tapped on the top to reveal a huge door.
"Oooh…" The audience said as Vegchi nervously stepped inside of the box.
The door closed and Yinyo held out his twin samurai swords. "And now, I with my angelic powers of unity, I shall separate this mixed gender fusion into three separate people!"
"How can the power of unity separate people?" Goten wondered out loud.
"Angels." Piccolo shook his head.
"Ahem!" Yinyo cleared his throat and then slashed at the box. In three swoops, the box fell apart into three smaller boxes. "Now, come out you three!" The angel proclaimed and the tops of the smaller boxes opened to reveal Vegita, Chi Chi, and Vegchi coming out confused.
Vegchi pouted as she looked at her now tailless butt. "I'm tailless again."
"VEGGIE! CHI-CHAN!" Goku gushed as he teleported up to the two and hugged them with one arm around each person. "I MISSED U SO MUCH!!!"
"Goku-san?" Chi Chi asked stunned as she blushed. "What is going on?"
"Kakarotto!" Vegita wailed as he reached for his peasant repel bottle. "What are we doing here?!"
"Hee hee." Goku said as he let go. "You and Chi-chan had a very special time together as one!"
"As one?" Vegita repeated as he held his head and then paled. "No! We didn't… NOT ME AND ONNA!"
"Hiya, Daddy." Vegchi said as she came up and smirked at him.
"Gah! Not another kid!" Vegita gawked, "And it's with Onna!!!"
Bulma chuckled. "Gee, Vegita, you now have six kids and three of them are not with me. You really know how to roll them out, don't cha?"
The short Saiyan blushed slightly. "It's none of your business!"
"I was in the same body as that Ouji?!" Chi Chi exclaimed as she smelled her dress. "GAH! I HAVE THAT OUJI SMELL ALL OVER ME!!!"
"Sorry, Mom." Gohan said guiltily as he looked down. "I caused this mess."
"Awww… that's okay." Chi Chi cooed, "Even my little genius is entitled to make a small mistake like that but don't do it again!"
"Hey, he's partially responsible for my birth, give him credit." Vegchi replied helpfully as she seated herself into Goku's lap.
"Oh, I-" Chi Chi glared at the fusion. "GET OFF OF HIM!!!" She screamed as she yanked Vegchi off.
"Awww… Vegchi is just being friendly." Goku said, "Besides, she's your very first daughter and you always wanted a little girl to play dress up in and marry off to a nice rich boy…"
"True." Chi Chi sighed as she blushed, "I always wanted a little girl much like Bulma had with Bra. I love my sons but I always hoped for a daughter to pass on my wedding dress and vast array of weapons to." She smiled at the female fusion. "Well, I can't hate you for being half Ouji. You don't even look like him."
The group glanced at Vegita, Chi Chi, and Vegchi and Raddiz sweatdropped at the resemblance. "This is getting creepy, even for me."
"You show such ambition!" Chi Chi sighed as her cheeks reddened. "You have already taken over the world at the young age of six hours old. My little girl's going to be an intergalactic dictator!"
"Ha! Thanks to my genes!" Vegita boasted.
"Oh please! My genes obviously dominated Vegchi!"
"Maybe in looks, but my brilliance and ambition contribute to Vegchi's early success."
"Is it me or are they arguing who is more influential in Vegchi's development?" Gohan asked confused.
"Parents." Vegchi sighed as she shook her head.
"Everything is right in the world again." Goku said as he grinned.
XXX
"Ah, that felt so much better." Chi Chi said as she came out of the bathroom in her dress feeling clean. "I finally got that Ouji stench out of my skin." She smiled at Bulma. "Thanks for letting me use one of your spare bathrooms."
"Hey, no problem, Chi Chi. Vegita just got done showering himself." Bulma giggled as she sat down on the couch. "I'm glad you two are apart again. It was bizarre."
Chi Chi blushed slightly and asked, "Say… did Vegchi do anything 'nonplatonic' with Goku-san?"
"Not that I know of. She flirted with him but that's it."
"Good." Vegita said as he sat down on the couch. "Even though I was a part of that fusion, I refuse to let any part of me do anything nonplatonic with Kakarot."
"Party poopers. I don't even have… the parts needed to carry out sexual intercourse with Kaka-san." Vegchi pouted as she appeared out of nowhere eating a twist strawberry/vanilla ice cream cone.
"GAH! DON'T YOU DARE SAY… THOSE TWO WORDS WITH ANY VARIATION OF KAKAROT'S NAME!" Vegita ordered as he stood up. "I am your father and so you must do as I say!"
"Oh please, since when have you listened to your father?" Vegchi rolled her eyes.
"Oooh! Vichi-chan, weren't you at that fancy palace of yours?" Goku asked as he popped next to her.
"It got boring and tedious. I gave the Emperor back the planet but if he wants to go on vacation, I can take over again." Vegchi replied as she put on a pair of sunglasses. "Ruling the world was nice but I have bigger plans."
"Like what?" Chi Chi asked.
Vegchi smirked as she put her finger to her lips. "That is a secret."
At once, the group facefaulted. "Are you staying with us?" Vegitto asked hopefully as he and Gogeta came out.
"Yeah, we can do all sorts of fun things like fish and time travel." Gogeta said as he came up.
"Time travel?!" Bulma yelled.
"Ooops!" Vegitto said as he blushed.
"Forget it. I'm not going to live here and get involved with you two." Vegchi said as she ran her hand through her hair.
"What about our place?" Goku asked as he held up his hand.
"NO! We don't have room for another Saiyan mouth to feed besides she's crazy about you!" Chi Chi yelled.
"Aw. :("
"She's right though. I know how she thinks, her DNA is a part of me." Vegchi rationalized. "Besides, I don't want to get in the middle of this 'kakawar'."
"So, you won't try to seduce Goku-san?" Chi Chi asked hopefully.
"Not now." Vegchi came up to Goku and whispered in his ear, "I am still your perfect mate. When you get tired of my parents, just search for my ki and we can have some real fun. I can last for a long time." She licked the taller Saiyan's ear and vanished.
"Great, another one to fight for Goku's affections and she's my daughter!" Chi Chi moaned as she buried her head in her lap.
"I wonder what Vegchi's going to do." Goku wondered out loud.
XXX
Vegchi sighed as she lounged out on the beach sipping some margaritas dressed in a bikini with a skirt. "Ah, this is the life."
"My queen. The last of the Dragon Balls have been found." A tall tanned man in a servant maid's dress said as he came up and bowed.
"Excellent." Vegchi got up and went to the site where seven Dragon Balls were seated. "It took some doing especially with my gimmicked up Dragon Radar but all seven Dragon Balls are here. Now, I can make my wish. BWAHAHAHAHA!!!"
The End?