Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds and intend no copyright infringement.
bribe
According to the Thomas theorem any situation that people define as real has real consequences, no matter how irrational or far-fetched the definition may seem to an outsider. As the British found out the hard way during the so-called "Great Indian Mutiny" of 1857, ignoring or disrespecting a person's definition of the world can lead to terrible violence and bloodshed. On the other hand: As the Jonestown massacre has drastically shown, simply accepting a person's view of the world can lead to equally much death and destruction.
BAU Unit Chief Aaron Hotchner could be a bully and a drill sergeant sometimes, as his team had once put it, back at the Hankel farm. Such personal traits didn't go down well with everyone – Agent Ivanhoe Salisbury for example. He felt rubbed the wrong way by Hotchner's iron self-discipline, his strict rule-abidance and his utter lack of humor. Or maybe it was just plain jealousy because the BAU had one of the best records in the whole Bureau and Salisbury's unit definitely hadn't. Besides that the two men had had a run-in over the misconduct of one of Ivanhoe's team members some time ago. On Hotchner's insistence, the agent in question was fired, much to the other Unit Chief's disapproval.
Jason Gideon once quipped that every person with a first name like Ivanhoe but looking like Bill Gates without Microsoft was bound to turn into a misanthrope. So when this very Agent Salisbury turned up at the premises of the BAU, looking like the cat that ate the canary, everyone knew that something was out of kilter. Way too politely he asked Hotchner for a few minutes of his time. The Unit Chief led him into his office.
"Everything alright, Aaron?", Salisbury asked, a slight sort of sing-song detectable in his voice. Oh boy, was he in a good mood. "You've done great with this case in Baton Rouge. I'm deeply impressed - a dozen people saved, the perpetrator behind bars, not a single drop of blood lost. Who could ask for more? The powers of profiling, eh?"
"Is there anything I can do for you, Agent Salisbury?", Hotchner asked, as matter-of-factly as possible without being ostentatiously impolite.
"Your team seems to be quite a tight-knit bunch", the auburn-haired agent continued, completely ignoring his colleague's question. He was obviously following some kind of game plan. "Must be difficult for a newbie to get a foot in the door, don't you think? How are things going with Penelope Garcia's replacement?"
"Melissa Epson is not Garcia's replacement, she's just temporarily standing in while Garcia is recovering from her back surgery", Hotch all but snapped.
"So Ms. Epson will be gone in a few weeks, won't she?", Salisbury said.
"Yes, she will", the profiler answered curtly.
The other Unit Chief smiled: "Ah, I see. That's probably why you're not paying as much attention to her as you would to your regular team members."
Aaron Hotchner wasn't a man to get unsettled easily. "Excuse me…?"
Triumph blazing in his eyes, Salisbury took out a small box and placed it on Hotchner's desk. "Customs discovered this yesterday morning in a passenger's bag at JFK Airport."