I don't love him.
Alice POV, Oneshot story
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the next characters. Stephenie Meyer does and SUMMIT ENTERTAINMENT does also.
I kept thinking how to make it easy for me. For him. I knew how much he loved me, I knew that since the first day we met but I tried to kept that love for him alive and it just didn't work, I tried hard, if there's a God, he'll know how hard I tried. That God would also know one of the reasons I think I lost my love for him.
Emmett and Rosalie for the last few years were fighting a lot. Arguing about the most insignificant things and just not getting along anymore.
I was the first person told by him that he and Rosalie talked about not get married again, they wouldn't be a couple anymore.
Emmett was going thru one of the most difficult times in his life. He didn't even say jokes. That was just wrong.
Meanwhile, Rosalie had 2 boyfriends, one human and one vampire.. the human didn't stay for long as you can imagine. He was rich, but couldn't stand the sex part.
Rosalie is wild when it comes to sex, Emmett said. The vampire wasn't that bad, she said. Most of the vampires are rich as, well, they have lived for so many years. But this one was also attractive, for her at least.
Jasper and me were with Emmett all the time, Jasper controled his emotions so he didn't feel depress. But when Jasper wasn't there, I had to cheer him up.
It's not that difficult for me some may think, but it wasn't my brother Emmett the one I had to cheer up, it was Emmett the man, the strong vampire who I always thought anything could be as strong as him to make him kneeled and surrendered. How wrong I was. I was wrong thinking that he was unbreakable, and I was wrong thinking that my approaching to him woulnd't wake up feelings that never should have been waked.
More closed I get to Emmett, more strong the feelings get till the point when I didn't want to be with Jasper but be with Emmett instead.
He started to notice them months after. Rosalie was living in her own place now, with that vampire she met, and we living with Carlisle and Esme, as always.
Jasper knew that, I saw he would. He felt it, but didn't say a word.
I was in love with Emmett. But where were my feelings for Jasper? Or an even better question, what was I feeling for him? Love still? Probably, but a diffetent kind of love.
I didn't know what to do, so I kept pretending that everything was good, all the same. Even I started telling myself that those feelings were wrong, and started seeking for the love I felt for Jasper once. I used to remember how happy we were for decades, how in love we were, how I used to needed him. And I knew he needed me, that's why I kept fighting. Tried to forget about Emmett so many times, but the fact that I couldn't just stop seeing him so of sudden didn't help. The feeling were there, I couldn't ignore them.
When Emmett told me he wanted to try something with me, I realized that my time was running out. I couldn't pretend that nothing was happening.
But how to tell Jasper? My dearest Jasper. My partner for so many years. My confident. My best friend. I just didn't know how.
I wasn't sure if talk about this with Esme. What would she think? What would she think of me? That I was a bad person. Just as bad as I've been thinking I am, or even more!
The fear of encounter my family; a sad Jasper, a furious Rosalie, a disappointed Edward, Carlisle and Esme, made me think about if my feelings worth it, to disappoint most of my family. My family. The only thing I really have.
It definitely didn't worth it. And I was sure that my feelings for Emmett will vanish as soon as Jasper and me go away for a while.
"Are you ready?"
"Yeah, England is waiting for us, Jasper" I smiled. A smile that soon, hopefully, won't be fake.
Writer notes:
This is a different side of Alice, a side that even Stephenie hasn't discovered in her own character.
I dunno if you'd like this, probably, probably not.
But I defo liked it. And I just had to write it down.