Chapter one: the picnic
It was just like any other day in forks the rain hammered against the bathroom window, I looked out at the heavy fog the weather was most defiantly miserable with a capital M. This did not bother me in the slightest bit because I knew Edward was on his way. A loud resounding knock on the door drew my thoughts away from the weather. I ran, well more like stumbled my way down the stairs trying not to fall over my own feet "coming" I yelled down to him, as I reached the door I braced myself knowing that when I looked at him especially his eyes I was most defiantly going to lose my track of thoughts. I turned the knob and opened the door "hi" I mumbled as his beauty knocked me breathless, as always "hi" Edward said flashing that crooked smile I loved so much "so what are we doing today?" I asked glancing at the weather "don't worry we will be out of the rain" Edward smiled knowing how much I hated the rain well just all things wet and cold with one exception Edward. A smile spread across my face at the thought of him, of how much I love him "what?" asked Edward "you know at times I really wish I could tell what you were thinking" "I…was just thinking…never mind" I replied "no what?" he asked suddenly sounding concerned, looking at me with his big golden liquid eyes. "I was just thinking about how much I love u" the words stumbled out before I could stop them and my cheeks flushed crimson. "I love you too more then you can imagine" he replied opening his marble like arms to embrace me his icy cold skin felt nice against the hot flush my embarrassment had caused, his cold lips brushed my hair, I breathed in deeply the soft scent of his skin. The moment seemed to last forever and then I felt his strong arms push me away gently as if he thought I would snap, well in this case I could his inhuman supper strength could of killed me in one slight push, and yet I'd never felt so safe but when I was in his arms. "Are you ready to go?" Edward asked, "Well that depends" I replied, "on where we are going" a smile spread across Edwards face and his eyes blazed "it's a surprise" he said "ugh" I called, "I hate surprises"
Edward at that moment grabbed my hand and pulled me in close and locked his lips to mine kissing me softly and then pulling away, panting heavily I looked into his eyes knowing that I would enjoy this surprise no matter what and all because it was from Edward. "Let's go then" I smiled opening the front door and walking out into the now calming rain. I walked towards my red truck not noticing Edwards Volvo parked around the corner, "oh no you don't" Edward smiled "were going in the Volvo."
As he drove the cool misty air seeped through the window and I shivered "sorry" Edward said looking slightly embarrassed as he leaned across me to do the window. I knew there was no chance he would crash and yet every time he took his eyes off the road I wanted to tell him to look where he was going. We drove out of forks and towards Seattle "oh so we are going to Seattle" I said "just wait and see" was Edwards reply with a wry smile, my hand shifted and I entwined my fingers with his ice cold hand I leaned across and rested my head on his hard stone like shoulder. I could stay like this forever I thought to my self. His weight shifted causing me to have to sit up,
I released my hand from his knowing how much my very smell caused him internal pain, how every moment we were together he fort the inner urge to kill me. "I'm sorry" I said "for what?" Edward asked "for all the pain I cause you I wish it wasn't me that did this to you" tears filled my eyes as I said this I hated myself for the pain I caused him. "Bella" Edward said quite sternly and then his voice melted back into the velvet softness I was used to "you are my very reason for being without you there would be no point to me, Bella you are my everything" he leaned over and kissed me softly on the head. It was then that I looked up and realised that we were not heading to Seattle anymore. I had no idea where we were headed to be truthful, we were travelling down a little muddy lane passing weird looking thatched houses, when we reached the end of the road I realised it came to a dead end I turned to look at Edward but his face was as unreadable as ever.
"Here we are" Edward called. He was round opening my door in no time. I stepped out realising the rain had stopped and he took my hand leading me to a little open field with a large concrete circle in the middle. Laid out on that circle was a little picnic blanket and all kinds of food "oh Edward" I gasped "what did you go to all this trouble for?" I turned to him my eyes full of suspicion. he sat down and pulled me onto his lap, my body shivered with delight yet I still felt Edward loosen his arms just slightly. To show that was not what had made me shiver I pulled myself into him using all my strength to squeeze as close as possible. I looked up into his beautiful liquid topaz eyes, and then he lowered his head to kiss me my lips met his hungrily wanting the adrenaline rush and light headedness he always gave me, we parted and my head span he pushed me from his lap and turned to the food . I noticed the chocolate covered strawberries first and my mouth watered in delight, Edward picked one up carefully and then pressed it to my mouth I bit into it happily. I knew how hard it must have been for to prepare this since the smell of human food repulsed him slightly "eat up" he said smiling at me with his wonderful crooked smile. I ate as much as I physically could savouring each bite with all the more delight knowing he had gone to all this effort for me. My sexual instinct was to pounce on him and I fought the urge unwillingly. Pictures running through my mind with what I would do to him if I could have half the chance. I knew are relationship might never have that freedom .I never wanted to push him too far. I trusted him enough to know he would never intentionally hurt me but the pain I would cause him would be unbearable. He must have wanted it to because in that moment he swooped me up into his arms and kissed me. I tried my best to be good, to keep still but I felt my arms creep around his neck as I kissed him back with all the passion I could afford after about three minutes he pushed me away gently shaking his head
"You know sometimes Bella I think you want to get yourself killed" he was laughing but I could detect a serious hint in his voice "I …I'm sorry are you angry?" I mumbled feeling ashamed I had not been able to stop myself …again! Now Edward really did laugh "you know I really should be and I would be if I didn't enjoy it so much" his crooked smile spread across his lips and his golden eyes glowed. "now come on lets go" he said holding his cold pale hand out for me, I took it gratefully knowing I was bound to stumble my head was barely clear of the fog that our kiss had given me, we walked like that to the car, hand in hand.
A gleeful smile spread across my face, I could not help it still his very touch made me smile and go over all warm and fuzzy. Edward noticed my smile and the glow of my cheeks and pulled me in closer wrapping his arm around my shoulder.
We drove back to forks my head resting on his shoulder all the way "so are we going to Matt's Halloween party?" I asked hoping this was the right time to ask. Matt Burton was the new boy at our high school he had come for graduation and all the girls so far fancied him. Edward had no idea how much I wanted to go to this party. "Come on it'll make Charlie happy and well we can just hang out we don't have to dress up or anything." As I said this, my face fell slightly it had been my only chance to dress up all sexy for Edward with out making myself look stupid. "fine we can go" Edward said "and I suppose we can dress up if you want" I looked at him in astonishment I hadn't realised that he'd noticed my face fall a smile crept across my face "oh Edward!" I exclaimed, "You really are the best" "I know," he said with a snort now go on go tell Charlie" I realised at that point that we had parked up outside my house and I noticed Charlie's cruiser parked on the driveway. I opened the door and got out giving a quick glance back to Edward as I rushed into my house. "Hi dad" I called as I ran up stairs "where's the fire" he called with a chuckle. "Sorry it's just I'm going to Matt's Halloween party next weekend and I've got to start considering what I'm going to wear" that put a smile on Charlie's face. Matt's father was a new police officer in Charlie's force and was rapidly becoming one of his very good friends "ok bells but you sure you don't want some money to go buy a nice new outfit?" Charlie called "w…what" I stuttered
"Would you like some money?" Charlie repeated
"That would be amazing dad but you don't have to" I yelled astounded
"No I would like to its not often I get to spoil you" dad replied
Knowing not to look a gift horse in the mouth so to speak, I called "thanks dad you're the best" and ran up the rest of the stairs. It was getting late and I wanted to open my window and try on my new pyjamas before I wore them for Edward. I had brought them yesterday but he had been too busy hunting so I had not bothered. I slipped out of my jeans, tee combo, and pulled on the silk hot pants and vest top looking at myself in the mirror I noticed the snug fit of the top emphasizing my curves and liked it. I knew Edward would too. I quickly changed back into my jeans and tee and ran downstairs to Charlie knowing that it could be awhile till Edward came I sat down to watch a documentary that neither of us were really interested in, with him.
The credits played and I looked at the clock it had been longer then id expected. Charlie was snoring beside me so I crept up stairs and slipped into my new pyjamas in the bathroom. I walked into my room not noticing Edward stood in the corner "Bella" Edward whispered and I gasped in shock "sorry I didn't mean to scare you" he said and then "wow." I smiled my pyjamas had had the effect id wanted "you….you look amazing" Edward smiled "well I hoped you would like them" I said trying to sound as coy as possible. I sat on the bed and patted the quilt beside me motioning him to come sit next to me, as he sat I cuddled into him gazing at his gorgeous gold eyes "I love you" Edward mumbled as we lay on the bed I cuddled into him even more and kissed his marble stone chest. I fell asleep like that my head resting on his chest.
Chapter 2: Dreams
I woke that morning alone and started getting ready for school. Charlie was already gone and I ate my breakfast in silence my thoughts on next weekend's party.
My thoughts were disrupted by the sound of a car horn I looked out the window and Edward was there leaning on his Volvo, I hurriedly shoved my bowl in the sink and ran out the door only just remembering to put the dead lock on.
One look at Edwards smile brought me to a stand still his face literally lit up like the sun. "Hi gorgeous" I smiled, he glided over to me his feet barely touching the ground, arms open to embrace me "mmmm" I smiled inhaling the sweet scent of his skin that was better then any cologne.
Edward drove me silently to school and parked in our usual space swiftly opening the door of the passenger side for me to get out. It was Monday and my mind fixed on the weekend ahead of us I needed to find Angela and to ask her to come shopping for an outfit with me.
A loud bubbly voice pierced my thoughts "so did you enjoy yesterday?" a smug smile already creased across her lips "pfft" I snorted "as if you don't already know" I teased. "Actually I don't, your future was so uncertain that I didn't want to look and see something that was well… private." Realising she was talking about my sexual desires I looked down going crimson. I could feel the heat in my face "oh I'm sorry yeah I had a great time" I flushed still staring at the floor. Edward had had no idea about what id felt at that moment the moment I had wanted to pounce on him. When he saw the memory in Alice's mind of what one of the possible futures could have been if id succumbed to my sexual needs, he looked down to and then caught my eyes the longing look just beneath the surface of his liquid topaz eyes. Of course, I understand how much he wanted it too how he felt the urges just as strongly as I did. I even understood his willingness to please me and yet he never really trusted intimacy with me. Fighting every urge of the monster inside that wanted to kill me but also fighting his inner man, the need to claim me, knowing it was never possible if I stayed in my mortal state (which he intended completely) that in the rush he might lose even a tiny bit of self-control and kill me with the slightest tap.
The bell rung shrewdly through the school grounds and I realised we should have been on our way to class by now, quickly grabbing Edwards's hand I bestowed Alice with a goodbye smile and dragged him along with me to English literature a lesson we both hated intently. Mr Mason was already in mid lecture when we burst through the doors and into our seats. all eyes looked from us to him waiting for the explosion, which for some weird reason did not come instead he turned to us a fake smile plastered to his jaw "Mr Cullen miss Swan I'm so glad you could join us" he nearly spat the words yet the tone of his voice disguised it slightly. All students turned to look at him in utter disbelief and then he started his lecture again. Drowning out the tedious lecture, I scanned the class looking for a reason he had not screamed at us and finally in the far left back corner I saw it.
There sat Matt Burton running his hand through his blond quiffed hair seemingly absorbing all the awe filled stares from every girl in the class. Yeah he is hot but the quiff in his hair looked like it dated back to the early sixties style not like the ones all the girls had in there hair now, well all the girls who had absolutely no sense and just followed the mindless droll of fashion. Although I had to admit that type of hair really did suit him. I tried to imagine him with Edwards hair and at the thought of I that I tried but fail to suppress a snort and the whole class turned to look at me wondering if I could be so lucky …TWICE. Obviously not I thought to myself as Mr mason turned to look at me a plum purple colour seemed to rise from his neck filling every crevice in his face leaving his eyes looking sunken, hollow almost. "ISABELLA SWAN!" he bellowed, "YOU AND YOUR …YOUR BOYFRIEND DISTURB MY LESSON BY BEING LATE AND YET YOU HAVE THE CHEEK TO DISRUBT ME AGAIN, GET OUTSIDE NOW!" I felt Edward tense beside me knowing he was fighting the urge to rip Mr Mason's head off; Edward hated him just much as I did and that combined with Edwards's protective side over me nearly drove him over the edge. "It's ok," I whispered to him resting my hand quickly on his knee forcing him to look at me. I stood up and walked out of class quietly waiting for Mr Mason to follow and escort me to the principles office.
After twenty minutes of lectures and forced apologies, I left the principles office. To find someone stood outside waiting for me. "Hey" the voice called seemingly friendly enough, I looked to see Matt's broad fame hanging over me, I stepped back slightly flinching away from him for some unknown reason. "You coming to my party on Saturday" he asked a little too politely "yeah sure I am" I beamed back at him trying not to show my edginess "need a lift?" he asked. I sighed silently "no Edwards taking me" I replied trying not to show my annoyance " so you and Cullen are you dating or something" he asked emphasizing his distaste of the word Cullen.
Unable to hide my irritation now I snapped back "yes Edward and I are a couple not like it's any of your business" and stalked away before he could say another word. I walked to the gym block hoping I would see Edward there as he had gym next. I turned the corner and gratefully saw Edward there leaning against the wall. One glance at me and he knew something was wrong, glancing quickly around to see if anyone was looking he sped to my side in milliseconds. Squeezing me into a hug "What's wrong?" he asked more then a slight hint of concern in his voice. Trying my best to push him off me "nothing just that idiot boy matt" I hissed and at that I felt rage boil inside Edward he disliked the boy enough without a reason let alone if he upset me "what did he do?" Edward asked through a clenched jaw. "Its nothing …its silly really ignore" me I called quickly realising how stupid id been to allow Edward to get angry knowing that his anger would not subside until he has sorted out the problem one way or another. "No what is it?" Edward asked sounding noticeably calmer "it's just another annoying boy hitting on me again", I teased fluttering my lashes but then my stomach turned as I realised what had really upset me. Edward being as perceptive as usual noted the subtle change in my heartbeat then asked, "so what really bothered you "it's …well ...it's" I stumbled "its what?" he asked slightly impatient "it's just the way he said your name" I spat, the memory riling me up again Edward began a deep throaty chuckle "is that what annoyed you?" "Some jealous idiot talking down about me"
"it wasn't like that" I demanded "the way he said it, the acidity the pure hatred in his voice and it was all towards you" I couldn't understand why anyone could hate Edward he was the most amazing no perfect well vampire I had ever met
"You really are strange Bella Swan" Edward chuckled "why wouldn't he hate me I've got the most precious thing in my possession" he smiled
"Yeah and what's that?" I giggled
"I have you Bella you" he said it as if emphasizing that I was the special one in the relationship. With that I had to laugh, "You think I'm the special one in the relationship, you with all your amazing abilities flawless good looks, charms and everything else and you think I'm special, pfft" Edward smiled at this the smile reaching deep down into the pools of his liquid gold eyes "you really don't see yourself as others do, do you Bella you don't see the truth ,your beauty, your sincerity and most of your bravery." The adoration in his voice made me choke with tears; my eyes swelled and spilled over dripping down my face "sorry Bella what did I do" Edward asked his voice choked with shock. I sighed and threw him a smile "oh Edward" I gasped, "I love you" I threw myself into his arms but as the love grew stronger so did the lust and I looked up at him beckoning him for a kiss, he looked down at me and smiled indulging me his lips locked on mine in a tender embrace
Involuntarily my tongue stroked his lower lip begging for entrance, his lips parted and I threw myself into the kiss my tongue meeting his, my fingers winding through his hair and with that the moment was over the spinning sensation in my head nearly knocking me to the ground, with that the bell went for next lesson. I bit my lip not wanting to leave him yet knowing I had to. Knowing my problem Edward released my arm and gently nudged me towards the way I had come "go on" he said "ill see you in biology" he smiled at the thought and walked into the gym "bye" I whispered "bye" he called back laughing
The rest of the day passed by slowly the only thing that kept me going was when I found Angela at lunch and asked her to come shopping with me on Thursday which she had swiftly replied yes to. When biology finally came, I was tired of waiting, of my longing for him, my undeniable desire to be close to him.
We sat down next to each other at our normal seats but with my urgency to be close to him I nearly sat on his lap. Edward looked at me understandingly and held my hand with one of is own and with his free arm he wrapped it round my shoulders pulling me into his strong marble torso. I did not take in much of what was going on around me all I could think about was his infatuating smell and icy feel or his torso resting on my back. The bell rang much quicker then I realised it would and I stood up my books already in my bag having never left it. Edward was right behind me and followed me straight out of class.
We climbed; well I stumbled into his Volvo and drove straight to my house. Charlie would not be back for hours which meant no menacing glares for Edward and a little alone time were we could be ourselves around each other not worrying that the slightest touch would arouse Charlie's hatred and ban Edward from seeing me …AGAIN. I opened the door, lead Edward to the kitchen, and started preparing tea for both Charlie and I. Edward wrinkled his nose as the smell of the ingredients wafted towards him I put the fish pie I'd made in the oven and set the timer for 40 minutes.
Edward left almost as soon as Charlie arrived and I spent the rest of the evening brooding over what was a suitable time to make excuses and go upstairs to see Edward. 10:00 came and I decided I could not wait much longer so I faked a yawn and said "I'm absolutely tired out dad I'm of to bed" and raced up the stairs.
When I entered my room Edward was lounging on my bed "you know Bella you've really got to quit the acting scene you're so terrible at it like the whole fake yawn and then running up the stairs thing it was awful" Edward laughed but he was only half joking. I plonked myself firmly on the bed beside him and nestled my head into his chest.
The next thing I knew I was on a strange bed kissing Edward passionately his hands wove through my clothing ripping it off. My hands involuntary ripped his shirt open revealing his muscled torso. I looked down realising I was in nothing but my underwear his hands were at back reaching for the clip of my bra, his hands now full of lust unable to undo the clip ripped it off and his eyes widened as he took in what he saw. My hands slid down to his belt and I fumbled with it until it was off along with his shirt, I proceeded to his trousers ripping them off with ease. I knew I was dreaming but I did not care there was no way I was going to wake up unless I absolutely had to. Edwards's hands move to my lacy underwear pulling it off so I was completely naked unlike in real life there was no embarrassment no shame and no nagging feeling that he would find me absolutely repulsive. I then pulled his boxers off and all that I my body had desired was indulged as our bodies joined. "Edward oh Edward" I moaned louder and louder and then a sense of reality hit me "oh shit" were the two main words in my head. I spoke in my sleep didn't I and Edward was in my room what if I had moaned aloud what I Charlie had heard me!
I woke with a start and saw Edwards smiling face "oh shit" I mumbled he had heard. A low only slightly audible laugh escaped his lips as he turned and said, "Three guesses what you were dreaming about" his crooked smile now set on his face "oh no" I grumbled "don't"
"What you mean don't do this?" he said but teases that I had expected to proceed, did not instead he pulled himself on top of me kissing my neck and nibbling my earlobe. "I've been thinking about something a lot" he mumbled "and I want to try something ok?"
"Ok" I replied biting my lip, his cold hand slid down my inner thigh and I shivered expectantly, hopeful. He stopped halfway down my thigh and looked serious. He began to speak "look if you don't like anything or you feel uncomfortable in anyway or if …if I hurt you tell me straight away and I'll stop I'm not going to pressure or force you into anything ok" I just nodded the lust that had taken over my body barely able to wait much longer. His hand once again slid down the rest or my thigh and under my shorts he paused slightly as if waiting for me to say no but he was only met by silence he slid his hand slightly uncertainly further under my shorts and then his fingers began to caress. My body exploded with ecstasy, I closed my eyes enjoying the mixture of huge pleasure with the slight amount of embarrassment. As the pleasure increased, I bit my tongue to stop myself from crying aloud.
Finally, as Edward finished and climbed beside me a look of mixed feelings spread across his face he opened his mouth to speak but I quieted him with a long meaningful kiss. I wished I could show him how amazing it had been. He broke the kiss and before I could quieten him again he began to speak "are… are you …okay?" he asked it was the first time I had seen Edward embarrassed a smile etched across my face as I replied "oh Edward I'm more then ok I'm amazing, your amazing, it was amazing"
"So you're not upset with me?" he asked look of relief starting to spread across his face.
"No why would I be?" I asked confused
"Well I thought you might be angry because I lost some of my self control, I'd let lust over power me slightly and I was worried I had taken it all a step too far"
"No it was perfect, just right I love you more then anything and that was just the icing on the cake for me , I just wish you could of felt so of the pleasure" I said slightly embarrassed and I felt my cheeks start to glow red
"Seeing what it did to you was reward enough" he smiled pulling me into his chest, then an annoying little question popped into my head, and I instantly recognized it to be the kind you cannot get rid of.
"So what brought that on I thought there was nowhere passed the kissing line?"
"Well" he began "I just thought that if it was only you who received the pleasure then I wouldn't lose any of my self control but I had no idea what the look on your face would do to me. The mixture of embarrassment and pleasure nearly drove me insane it really did and so I ruined it" he added the last three words after a short pause
"No you didn't you lost the right amount of self control it was brilliant" I called wanting him to believe me to realise just how amazing he was.