17
TRIPTYCH
Three totally different points of view:
Jinx Vi Caitlyn
Left Panel
Piltover—Afternoon/Evening
Jinx
Hhhhh, I'm bored. How about…I go spy on my favourite cops? I have no idea what their plans are, but whatever they are, I will wreck them. Yeah, that'll be fun…
Vi
Almost done upgrading the dynamic feedback. These gauntlets will be both strong and sensitive now. Hell, I could even hold a teacup without shattering it. Won't Caitlyn be impressed…
Yeah, right. Nothing I do impresses her, on the job or off of it. I don't know why I even try…
Who am I kidding? I know why I keep trying: I have a hopeless crush on my talented, sexy boss, who probably doesn't even swing my way…
Well, it's done. Should I start work right away installing new super-heavy-duty capacitors for the blast shield power-up? Or should I head out for an off-duty patrol—maybe I can surprise that sociopathic blue-haired bitch Jinx—I call her Psycho Girl—and lay a good beating on her…that would be so satisfying. Or should I try to come up with an excuse to call Caitlyn…or call on her…
Nah, I don't have the guts. I'd rather be shot to pieces by a gang of looters with flechette guns than be shot down again…I always feel like such an idiot when I try to express myself to Caitlyn—sweet little cupcake, but permafrosted…
Still, she has never slammed the door in my face, or told me to give it up…Maybe she feels something for me, deep inside, but she can't or won't express it…
You're delusional, girl. She's just being polite, she has good manners. A classy lady like her would never fall for a rough trade like you.
Hell, now I'm talking to myself. It's time to call it a day. Should I hit the strip joint or the boxing gym to take my mind off her—nah, that won't work—or just go home? And brood…
Maybe pick up a big bottle of screech, and go for oblivion? Nah, Caitlyn hates it when I show up for work hungover.
I'll just step outside for a quick smoke, then I'll get to work on the capacitors…Why the hell can't I quit smoking? I know she dislikes smokers…
Hell.
Jinx
Look, there's Fat Hands. She looks pissed, so now is the time to double-piss her off. Shoot her, yeah…no, she's not wearing her armour, where's the fun in fighting someone who can't fight back? How about…I go and taunt her. Yeah, make fun of her. First, I'll sneak up on her. Hahaha, this is going to be good.
Caitlyn
Ahhh, brilliant. There is nothing like a nice cup of tea at the end of the day. A good day: no murders, no buildings blown up by elusive blue-haired anarchists, and no cock-ups or temper tantrums from Vi. The rest of the lads have all reported in: no serious incidents. Should I go home and make supper? No, on a beautiful day like today, I should celebrate the peace by going out for dinner. Alone? No, I am always alone at work, being the boss, and always alone at home…do I want a date? No, none of the men I have seen recently have shown any promise. Hmm. I've got it! I'll invite Vi out for a concert and a fancy dinner—maybe she can be made to enjoy some high culture for a change. She's probably still in her workshop, let me check…
Vi
Unbelievable! Caitlyn wants me to go to a concert and dinner with her. Yes! My chance to tell her how much I like her. So what if it is only a pity date…Wait, what if it is not even that…what if she doesn't see this as a date, just coworkers enjoying an evening together.
Nah, don't lose it, girl. If she just wanted to bond cop to cop, she wouldn't have insisted that you dress up. This is the real thing, your golden opportunity.
Hell. What if I blow it? I might…Well, then I go down in flames…but if I don't, and if she really does feel something for me, then…
Then I'm taking her home tonight. My sweet little cupcake, I'll show her how gentle I can be…how she can trust me…
Wait a minute, girl! Even if this is a date, it is only a first date…Caitlyn isn't the type to put out on the first night, she's classy—not a horny bitch like you—so don't get your hopes up.
Hell. Well, I better get home and cleaned up—and clean up my place too, just in case. Gotta hurry—wouldn't want to keep the lady waiting. Bet she wears a watch to bed. Mmm, her bed, wish I were in bed with her…whoa, gotta get a grip on myself…but this is going to be so exciting!
Yes...
Jinx
Spying is so much fun! Can I believe my ears? Fat Hands, going on a date with Hat Lady? This calls for an extra-special super-mega surprise. Hahaha, wrecking their quality time together will be even more fun than blowing stuff up…Yeah! Wait, maybe I should help Fat Hands get lucky first, then wreck their night—and then blow stuff up. Hahaha, that's an even better plan I just made up. Their bed is sure going to move tonight! Ooh, I'd better get cracking, lots of perpetrations, I mean preparations to make. Yeah…
Caitlyn
I look simply fabulous. What a pleasure to be able to dress up and leave the rifle at home, for once. I'll take a little protection, just in case. A revolver in my purse, and a tiny two-shot strapped invisibly to my thigh. Plus, Carlos will be acting as bodyguard, he's reliable and discreet. I hope Vi dresses appropriately. I wonder if she likes Yordle classical music? Well, we'll find out. If not, there is always dinner. That will be good for her, to eat something other than doughnuts for once. Oh, time to go…
Vi
Calm down girl. Don't let it get to you. So she painted "Hat Lady? Good luck with that. Seriously. X." on your door. The good news is that she couldn't get past all of your latest security and into your apartment. Just sandblast the door and spraypaint it already. You can't afford to waste time.
Right, I won't waste time. And I won't let Psycho Girl's taunts get to me. I can't let her ruin my state of mind tonight of all nights. This might be my only chance with Caitlyn, gotta make it count.
Hey, how did that punk know about our date tonight? She got an informant on the force, or has she been spying? Probably spying, she likes to do things herself. On me, no doubt—Caitlyn is too alert to let Psycho Girl get close to her, but I've been distracted. Too distracted…When I catch that flat-chested bitch I'll make her pay, that's for sure.
What the hell am I gonna wear, anyway? Why don't I have any classy dresses? Why do I never think ahead? I'm such a loser.
Girl, don't panic. You've got plenty of assets. You're strong, you're fit, you're toned, you've got good complexion, you've got sexy baby blue eyes, you've got a nice hard ass. Just wear the best you've got. And don't forget to smile.
Right. No reason to panic, every reason to smile. She likes me…Caitlyn likes me. Smile…I can do this.
Hey, what if Psycho Girl isn't taunting me, what if she is wishing me luck? Nah, that would be wayyy too creepy.
Deep breaths, girl. Mind on the task at hand. Forget the lunatic, concentrate on yourself.
Hell, yeah. This is gonna be my night…a Vi night to remember.
Caitlyn
Look at the time: Vi is late. Again. Can't that woman tell time? Another five minutes and then I'm going in without her.
Ah, here she comes. She looks like she is on her way to a pick-up bar. Why didn't she just wear the LBD, like I did? But at least she is wearing a dress. It would have been embarrassing if she were wearing a suit…people would think we were a couple.
Actually, she doesn't look that bad. I think my first impression was because she is not used to walking in high heels. Plus, now she is smiling, that really makes a difference. And she doesn't appear to be carrying any weapons, that's good too.
Yes, there may be hope for Vi, after all. Maybe she can learn to fit in…
Whoa, that was close. It's supposed to be a light air kiss on each cheek…if I hadn't turned my head she would have kissed me right on the lips. What, does she think I'm her girlfriend? Maybe she's just clueless. I suppose I'm lucky she didn't fist, forearm, and chest bump me. After all, as a teenager she ran with the gangs, I shouldn't blame her for her upbringing.
She is my best enforcer, but tonight…tonight, she can't be an enforcer. We are at the opera house for a classical music concert. So long as she just does what I do, she should be fine. I hope.
Good thing I've reserved a private box, she'll be more protected from public view than down on the parterre.
She seems pretty cheerful…I think she's looking forward to this. Great!
Let's go inside.
Jinx
…Boring. Yordles should stick to blowing things up, their music sucks. And Fat Hands, too. She's more fun when she is punching through walls and beating down doors. What is she thinking? The concert is almost over—I hope—and they haven't been holding hands, leaning on each other, blowing in each other's ears…no kissing, no making out. Lame. At this rate there won't be anything worth interrupting tonight.
Time for me to lend a hand, hahaha.
Vi
What the hell is this, a note, for me? Not a police emergency, I hope. That would be just my luck.
"When are you going to make your move? Do it! X"
The little bitch is still spying on me! Where is she hiding? I'll tear her to pieces with my bare hands! Why didn't I wear my armour? Should I run back to the workshop and suit up? Nah, that would kill the evening with Caitlyn, I can't do that.
Uh oh, I think she's noticed that I'm upset. Gotta calm down.
Hey, she touched my hand. She touched my hand! I'll just lean over and tell her that I need to go to the little girls room.
Oops, my lips accidentally on purpose touched the top of her ear, she looks surprised…worried. Hell, too soon, too soon…she's still into the music, doesn't want to be disturbed…
I'm outta here, gotta have a smoke. She's looking at me like I'm crazy…
Maybe I am. I sure am crazy for her.
Caitlyn
The music is excellent, but I can't concentrate any more. Whatever was in that note sure rattled Vi, her hand was shaking. Now she's run off to powder her nose…or to take care of secret business. Good, I don't want her to see how her lips brushing my ear disturbed me. I'm sure it was just innocent contact…
Vi has been holding up well, actually. She didn't fall asleep, or start twiddling her thumbs, and she's been looking attentive. Maybe she likes classical music after all. That would be nice, we could talk about more than just hextech mechanics for a change…
Ah, here comes the final movement. Glorious!
Centre Panel
Piltover—Late Evening
Jinx
Hhhhh, I'm bored again. Why didn't they go for fast food? A restaurant that makes you wait half an hour for your food deserves to be blown up. Or burned down. Yeah, blown up and then burned down.
C'mon, Fat Hands, make your move already. On the street, you always punch first, so take your best shot at Hat Lady. Hey, are you afraid?
Hahaha, I think Fat Hands is afraid. That's weird. She is not afraid to take on machineguns with her fists, but she is afraid of Hat Lady. Or maybe she is just shy.
Me, I don't trust anyone and I don't fear anyone, and I'm not shy. Hahaha, maybe that is why I don't have any friends. Except for Fishbones, of course, yeah.
I have an idea: The lights are too bright. Time to dim the lights, so that shy scaredy-cat Fat Hands can get to work.
Chomper grenades should do the trick.
Hahaha, yeah!
Vi
I wish this could last forever. The food is great, the atmosphere is romantic, and Caitlyn sitting across the table from me is…breathtaking. I'm trying hard to make polite small talk, and make sense of all of the utensils. Caitlyn looks content, and relaxed, which are two things I don't often see when she is on the job. The Sheriff of Piltover sure is a cutie. I could gaze into her beautiful brown eyes all night.
What the hell? An explosion nearby, and all the lights are out. An assassination attempt? There is not a second to lose…
The table is on its side, the chairs have been scattered, and I am lying on the floor, on top of Caitlyn, shielding her with my body, our faces cheek to cheek. She is still alive, I can feel her heart beating fast against me…
Before the lights can come back on I will show her how I feel. I will kiss her on the lips…
Caitlyn
I am enjoying an excellent meal in the company of my favourite co-worker, and the atmosphere, the wine, and everything is perfect. Vi is entering my world, giving me hope that our friendship will grow…
An explosion, and all is shattered.
Suddenly, I find myself on the floor. There is a solid weight on my chest, and I cannot move. Something warm is pressed against my cheek, and I can smell Vi's hair. Vi is on top of me—probably she is protecting me. My enforcer is brave, but she is also heavy—it is hard for me to breathe. I feel uncomfortable at our closeness, as I don't let people into my personal space. I hear her whisper "cupcake" in my ear. I should ask her to get off of me…
I open my mouth to speak, but something soft presses against my lips. I realise that Vi is kissing me. My mind tells me that I should struggle, but I am confused.
Now she is gone, leaving me to remember the fleeting touch of her tongue, the taste of her breath. The heat of her body. A faintly heard "I love you" whispered barely loud enough to register.
I have an epiphany. Vi is, as has long been rumoured, lesbian. A lesbian who is in love with me…but I have never been attracted to women. I want Vi as a friend, but she wants me as a lover.
How will I explain this to her in a way that will not break her heart and shatter our friendship?
I feel a tear trickle down my cheek. I must be crying.
Jinx
People think my pink eyes are strange, but I like them because I can see in the dark much better than normals. And I like what I just saw: Fat Hands threw herself at Hat Lady, and kissed her on the lips. I think I might be starting to like this broad: Fat Hands is a woman of action. She should be getting some real action tonight, thanks to me, Jinx. She can thank me later, hahaha. If she's not too busy trying to kill me, that is.
I've got the munchies, so it's time for fast food. I'll be back before the cops have even started their desserts.
Romances are fun. I should interfere with them more often, yeah!
Vi
I am Vi, I can't cry. But I want to. In my short, violent, unhappy life I rarely catch a break…
When I was abused as a young teenager, by rival gang members who caught me one night, I lost my taste for men. My luck with women hasn't been much better.
The dessert sits untouched in front of me—I have lost my appetite. Caitlyn, my little cupcake, sits across the table, staring off into space, a grim look on her face. Cold. Distant.
She now knows that I love her. That is a relief. But it doesn't change reality.
She likes me…a lot. But she can't love me. To be only her friend, even her best friend, tears a hole in my heart, and I wish I could die.
I won't die, of course. I am a battler, with an enormous tolerance for pain. And the fundamental core of my idealism is still intact: If enough people want to fix this broken world of ours, and we work together, long enough, hard enough…we can make the world a better place.
So, I will soldier on, although already defeated, trying to be valiant, striving for an honourable end. I gave Caitlyn my loyalty long ago and I will be loyal to the death. It is time for me to remind her of this, and to reassure her that I will remain her friend.
If she can stand me. Just because I can take the pain does not mean that she can take seeing me in pain, every day, on the job and after work. She might be better off sending me away. I was never a great cop anyway, at least not for following orders…
I'll leave the future of our friendship, and our partnership, in her hands…
That done, it's time for a smoke. Hell, I can't quit, but I don't think it matters any more.
Jinx
Hey, here comes Fat Hands, lighting up a cigarette. She's alone, unhappy, dejected, broken—something has gone wrong with this date. I don't think she's going to go back into the restaurant…it looks like she wasted my help. Now she'll want to break stuff, and crush things, to make herself feel better. It's a great time for a duel.
I'll just slip over to her workshop and leave my calling card—some graffiti, with an invitation to fight at midnight.
Hey, if Hat Lady gave her the brush-off for good, Fat Hands will be just like me, alone in the world. It's like we could be sisters, hahaha.
What a concept. I think I'll taunt her with that later tonight.
Yeah.
Right Panel
Piltover—Midnight
Vi
I am leaning against a wall down the street from my workshop. My newly improved gauntlets are ready for their trial by fire. This should excite me, as testing out my improvements has always done that in the past. And Psycho Girl seems eager to do battle, so I doubt that she will be playing hard to find, which ought to delight me…
Somehow I am not excited, not delighted, just…flat, drained. My mind keeps going back to the evening, asking what I could have done or said differently that would have made a difference.
Nothing. Unfortunately, by telling me the truth, as kindly and as politely as she could, Caitlyn has nonetheless crushed my dreams. It is not what I have done, but who I am…what I am.
Don't give up, girl. Maybe she will change her mind, if you give her all the right reasons.
Doesn't seem very likely, but I have to cling to hope, as forlorn as it may be. Hell, maybe I can change…my daily attitude could certainly use some improvement…I'll start by giving up booze, and see if I can't kick the smoking habit at last.
Hey, this is not the time to be planning a makeover. Hell, Psycho Girl will be here any minute now…
In fact, there she is, standing across the street, looking at me, well within range of my power jump. Taunting me, playing with fire, living dangerously. Fine, let's get the insults over with so we can start fighting…
Jinx
This is great! We are so close together she will have no chance to get to cover when I start shooting, and I may not be able to dodge her charge. One of us may be going down permanently tonight, yeah.
I taunt her with the "we are like sisters" thing, expecting to kindle her rage, but it falls flat. I tease her by suggesting that she should thank me for giving her the opportunity to throw herself at Hat Lady.
Oh…my…I don't believe my ears. She just thanked me. They say people do the craziest things when they are in love. I wouldn't know from personal experience, of course…I have never been in love, and have always done the craziest things anyway, but Fat Hands…I think she has flipped.
I tell her that for what it's worth, I was rooting for her to score with Hat Lady. She just shrugs and asks if I want to get it on…I assume she means fighting…
Hahaha, what if she means, like, doing it. Wow, what if Hat Lady saw us making out…her uptight proper little brain would explode!
I promise Fat Hands that if I win, I'm going to take advantage of her body, since Hat Lady doesn't want to.
That did it! Here she comes, screaming with rage. Hahaha, game on!
Caitlyn
What have I done? Vi has walked out on me. I am sure that she was about to cry, and couldn't bear to let me see her break down. Proud Vi…sweet Vi…what a mess. The "let's just be friends" line never worked with the guys, so I don't know what made me think Vi would be able to swallow it.
I wish I could tell her it is not her fault, it is mine. I keep everyone at a distance, ever since my father was murdered. It is easy now, because I am the Sheriff. People would find it hard to believe, because I am so cute, and because I show off my flawless body all the time, but…I am still a virgin.
Vi trusted me with her feelings this evening, so the least I could have done was shared my truth with her. Instead I fed her a cliché…she deserved better—I feel so guilty.
Not only that, when she thought we were under attack, her first thought was to protect me. She could have been killed…She was willing to die to save my life! How did I thank her? "Let's just be friends."
I am not ready to make love to Vi—and maybe I never will be—but how I would like to lie in the circle of her protective, strong arms with my head on her warm shoulder, and hear her whispering "Cupcake, I love you," in my ear.
Oh, I hope I haven't ruined everything.
Where would she have gone? Her apartment or her workshop?
Workshop, definitely. When she needs to work out her frustrations with life, she works on her armour.
I summon Carlos and start making my way across town to the workshop. I'll try to figure out what to say to Vi as I walk.
Vi
I am gasping for breath, my shoulders are aching, my gauntlets are bullet-scarred, my armour is full of shrapnel, and my body is ready to drop, but I won't give up.
The blue-haired demon fighting me is bruised and bleeding, her minigun is jammed, her rocket launcher is empty, but she has her agility, and her pink eyes are still taunting me.
She flashes her eyes over my shoulder and tries to distract me by telling me that Hat Lady—Caitlyn has come to watch her kick my ass. The ruse won't work, because I know that she is about to try to club me over the head with her minigun. I raise my right gauntlet to block. Out of nowhere her left hand appears holding a taser, which she jams into my right armpit.
As Psycho Girl pulls the trigger I know that I have lost. My body spasms and I fall to the ground, twitching in pain and helpless to do anything. She produces a revolver from who knows where and aims it between my eyes. I am as good as dead. Yesterday I would have raged to have lost the final confrontation this way. Tonight, I don't care anymore. I am actually relieved that it is all over.
My eyes tell her to do it, that I have accepted my defeat. I hear a scream and know that it is Caitlyn's voice. She's probably regretting that she doesn't have her sniper rifle with her tonight. Psycho Girl is out of heavy firepower—Caitlyn could have killed her easily. Me, I only regret that I never got to hear my cupcake saying "I love you, Vi."
Caitlyn
I am only a couple blocks from Vi's workshop, and I still have no idea what to say to her…My concentration is broken by the faint sound of distant gunfire. Lots of it.
As soon as I hear the sounds of combat, I know that Vi must be fighting her nemesis, the anarchist who calls herself Jinx. Jinx is a dangerous, slippery, heavily armed menace, and Vi may need my help, so I move faster…but when I round the corner the combat is already over. I have arrived just a little too late. Jinx is about to execute Vi, and I am outside the effective range of my revolver. I scream as the anarchist's hand pulls the trigger and her gun jerks. I fire wildly, but the murderess is still standing. I hear her shout, "Bye-bye, sister," and then, laughing, she makes a run for the nearest alley, dodging bullets from Carlos all the way.
Cursing my high heels, I stumble to Vi's side, tears blurring my vision.
It can't have ended this way. It just can't.
Jinx
I am ready to pull the trigger and end our rivalry once and for all, when I realise that if I kill Fat Hands, I will have nobody to play with who is any fun. So I'm going to let her live. Crazy, I know, because maybe next time she wins and kills me, but that is part of the game.
I taunt her with her partner's favourite line, "Boom, head shot" as I pretend to pull the trigger, and a bullet—not mine—spangs off Pow-Pow. Hat Lady is screaming and shooting at me with a handgun. It is time for my exit.
I tell Fat Hands that I'm still rooting for her to score with Hat Lady. Then I shout "Bye-bye, sister." And laugh.
Good thing Hat Lady isn't as good with her revolver as she is with a rifle. Her backup is a little better—Fishbones takes a couple of hits and he isn't happy—but I escape.
Overall, tonight wasn't boring at all. Yeah.
Vi
I lie on my back, wondering why I am still alive. Did Psycho Girl really spare my life? She really is crazy—I wouldn't have spared her for a second…I guess I owe her one now…
Caitlyn leans over, looking down at my face and crying, "Don't be dead. Please no…"
I can't move, and I can't talk, so I blink. I watch her eyes widen as she sees that I am still alive. She kisses my forehead and I listen for the words I wish more than ever before to hear:
"I love you, Vi."
But that is not what she says. She doesn't say "I want you," or "I need you," either.
She says: "I trust you, Vi." And she rests her damp cheek on my breast.
Now I know I can't die. I have to live so that I can figure out what the hell she means by that. Whatever it means, it must be important to her. And if it is important to her, it must be important to me.
And "I trust you, Vi" is a hell of a lot better than being dead.
I find that I am able to smile after all.
Caitlyn
I don't know how badly my partner is wounded, but I know that she won't be satisfied with just those four words. First we need to get her off the street, in case Jinx decides to return with more weapons and ammo and finish the job. Vi's apartment is not far, so Carlos and I lift her up and help her stumble along.
Vi recovers her voice and starts swearing at the pain. She goes on for quite some time, which tells us that she hasn't taken any really serious wounds, or she would be saving her strength. In fact, Vi doesn't even want to go to the hospital.
I'll stay at her apartment tonight so that I can watch over her, and so that she will understand that I care. Maybe I will even be able to say something useful, to let her know how confused I am, how much I need her in my life, and at my side, but not…I can't even bring myself to think it yet…
We arrive outside her apartment building, and as if on cue, an explosion rocks the night and fire pours out of her apartment. Why am I not surprised?
Looks like I won't be staying at Vi's apartment tonight after all. Jinx thinks she has had the last laugh, but Vi and I don't care.
We laugh together, leaning on each other.
Friends again.
Vi
When my apartment explodes, it is symbolic to me of the end of the past, and the beginning of the future. Now is the perfect time to change my ways, and become a better Vi.
Caitlyn offers her apartment, but is quick to mention the spare bedroom.
Patience, girl. You know that she's not looking to share your bed anytime soon. Be realistic, some chicks just can't be seduced.
I accept the spare room, and I point out that I will be needing some new clothes, and would she mind helping me shop. Might as well spend as much leisure time with her as I can.
She tells me that she would love to help me, that she has wanted to help me improve my wardrobe for some time, and she kisses me on the cheek.
You know, I think that maybe things are going to work out nicely after all.
Wish me luck, Jinx.
Jinx
I love explosions, and I especially love watching my demo charges take out Fat Hands' apartment.
From my vantage point on the roof of the building across the street, I see Hat Lady kiss Fat Hands on the cheek. Fat Hands looks happy at last, and it is all thanks to me. If I hadn't almost killed her, Hat Lady would never have confessed her feelings, and the romance wouldn't have had a happy ending. I am the greatest, yeah.
Have fun, Fat Hands, and do your best. If you get lucky, I'll celebrate by blowing up Hat Lady's apartment. If not…well, there is always the end of the street, at midnight…
Yeah, Vi is my favourite playmate. Almost like the sister I never had. Hahaha.
Original draft complete: May 30, 2014
Final draft: June 9, 2014
B&W version: June 20, 2014
LoL Fanfic 2014 Triptych by Cavebear