Lovino stood almost bare as he looked down at the scales that lay below him, his mind effortlessly calculating his BMI like countless time before.

"17.7- underweight." He stated nonchalantly as his gaze rose to the small cabinet mirror only to be met by a pair darkly-rimmed puke coloured eyes that seemed to bulge a little against the dreary sullen face. Said eyes showed revolt as they hesitantly looked over the body they were held in: dull brown hair with a wild curl protruding from the parting; a near skeletal-like body in shape and colour; chapped lips concealing ever so slightly eroded teeth and long thin fingers with short bitten nails. He closed his eyes and rested his forehead against the cool glass as a sigh escaped from his lips. After a few seconds, Lovino opened his eyes hazily then looked at the adjacent room through its reflection but, avoided the heaped mass of perfection sprawled across the bed.

A lone maroon wall surrounded by 3 white and an Italian flag proudly draped across it from one corner to the other. A row of black drawers and wardrobes lined against one wall with a simple wooden desk in between them. Two matching single beds with black sheets on either side of the room yet one covered and surrounded by the brightly-coloured childish toys of its owner.

Inevitably, Lovino's eyes landed on the body sleeping peacefully as it lay twisted in the duvet and unknowing to the glares sent to it. Jealous, sad yet somehow, adoring glares given to the younger Italian Feliciano Vargas.

Adorable Feliciano

Talented Feliciano

"Fucking perfect Feliciano" Lovino spat. That is what the adoring adults had all said to Feliciano when they were no older than 3, always finding new things to compliment and shower him with. Until, of course, they'd remember his own existence.

"Oh..." is what they had said, voices thick with disappointment. They'd both stand uncomfortably under the stern but expectant gaze they both sent toward each other. Upon finding nothing worth complimenting, they'd say how similar the twins were in appearance then simply leave whilst shamelessly muttering how fortunate or unfortunate his father was for having at least one son to be proud of. It had pained Lovino greatly as he grew up in his fratellino's shadow, watching his brother be fawned over to the point some would call smothering as he was left to swell with loneliness and inferiority. Such pain he could only express through cursing and blind rage at anyone unlucky enough to remember his presence.

But his beloved Feliciano turned a blind eye to their affection, only seeking that of the brother who would relentlessly scold and insult him until the point he was crying. Yet even through his tears, Feliciano's smile never left his face, yes it faltered a little but it never fell completely.

Then he came along. He made Lovino feel like he was wanted, that he was the centre on his universe, made him feel loved. Lovino should have seen the signs, how his so-called lover would touch and kiss Feliciano and claim to have mistaken them for each other. How whenever they talked, his eyes would stray in search of Feliciano and brighten whenever they found him.

Lovino began to shake violently, sweat began to pour down his face; he needed this memory out of his system for another night.

Lovino may have been a fool but, he wasn't an idiot; He saw the signs, he simply chose to stay in that happy delusion and when it came closer to it breaking, he became more and more desperate to hold onto the slipping pieces.

He reached for his toothbrush then carefully positioned himself of the bowl of the toilet, his eyes prickling as hot tears flowed uncontrollably down his face.

As a last attempt to keep the only outside source of affection, Lovino surrendered his purity to him who took it without an ounce of respect. It was rough, violent and loveless but maybe it could have saved their relationship for another month.

Lovino started to gag without the assistance of the toothbrush, the memory alone was enough.

And so they climaxed and his bastard of a lover let down his faรงade

Hunching over, Lovino hurled his insides out, nothing but bile and blood being produced from the empty stomach.

And called Feliciano's name in ecstasy.

For a while, Lovino just sat there and stared unseeing at the wall in front of him, waiting for the memory to dull as the burning sensation in his throat grew. With shaking arms, Lovino wiped the residue from his lips and got up to brush his teeth. He gargled some mouthwash and drank a few handfuls of water from the basin to replace the lost fluids in his stomach. He sighed and turned the light off as he left the en suite.

He silently walked to his slumbering brother who's soft gentle face was illuminated by the moon shining through the blinds. A small smile formed on his lips as he sat on Feli's bed to stroke his hair who sighed contentedly in response.

It wasn't Feliciano's fault that Lovino was an unlovable creature or the unwanted child in their father's eyes.

It was his, and his alone. It only took 14 years of heart break to figure that out. So Lovino built impenetrable walls around himself, vowing to never love another as he severed bonds with the world. He sealed off all of his emotions as he wore the cold steel mask and settled to watch his brother bloom as he withered with his past. It was easy, it wasn't as if he had other bonds to sever in the first place.

Lovino got up and walked back to his own bed. He lay there and thought about his plan for tomorrow which never really changed with the exception of lessons at school or school at all. He turned to look at his brother, who's face always reminded him of things he wish he couldn't remember then his own eyes fluttered shut as he too, fell into a sleep.

This time, the memory didn't fade with the pain he inflicted on himself that night. But that wouldn't stop him from trying again for many nights to come.

Hey guys! I want to thank you first of all for reading my first ever fanfic, so thank you so much! 3 I apologise for any grammatical errors so please tell me if there are any (but note, I write in British-English). It's pretty short as it's more of a prologue than anything and I'm pretty bad a writing so...yeah. It will gradually be Spamano with some side pairings i.e. gerita and a little usuk.

I hope you like it!

Laters~