"LOL," stated Keitaro, "I am injecting heroin into my veins while
simultaneously snorting cocaine and smoking pot!"
Suddenly, demons appeared.
"Rooflze!" came Keitaro's battle cry.
There was a fight. Many limbs were severed. Many laughs were done out loud. Many mothers were proclaimed good at sexual activities.
After dispatching of the demons, one last challenge was presented.
Ron Howard!
"U CAANOTT PASSSSS," bellowed Ron Howard.
"y helo thar," greeted Keitaro, "howz ur mom doin"
Ron Howard exploded. The insult was so amazing, he couldn't stand it. Keitaro began to molest what was left of his body.
Keitaro decided to take the sewer way home because Keitaro was high beyond reason. Upon opening the manhole, he was greeted with a smell. The smell...of the undead.
Zombies appeared! Zombies with swastikas on their sleeves! NAZI ZOMBIES!
A graphic sex scene began, lasting eight hours.
After the super hot zombie loving, Keitaro went home. But only to discover an alien-infested meteorite had crushed his home. The aliens smelled the French Toast Crunch cereal in his pants, and began to rush out. Keitaro needed to think. Fast.
"u guyz liek checkarz?"
The aliens stopped in their tracks. The thought of playing a game of checkers seemed to interest them. One began to cough up a live chicken, while another started to eat his own foot.
After an immensely arousing game of checkers, Keitaro decided it was time for a break. He got up, and magically the Inn reappeared right next to the giant crater. He walked in, said "nic azz asl" to the residents of Hinata Inn, put his swim clothes on, and went to the hot springs.
Suddenly, overdramatic music was heard. A shark fin appeared in the water. Then a bear appeared. "Francisco!! Come out!" called the bear. "What do you want, George?" came a reply from the water. "It's time for my afternoon loving!" screamed the bear. "Fine." The shark got up out of the water, held the bear's hand, and together they walked off towards the city.
Keitaro was scared. "OMFGH BUTSECKXS???," he screamed in shock.
Keitaro jumped out of the hot springs. It was getting dark. He walked outside and did some more drugs, then noticed the full moon was out.
He started to transform. Unbeknownst to his friends and family (besides his childhood friend, Sir Lancelot), Keitaro was a wereoctopus. His nose disappeared, he grew new arms, and he gained the power to squirt black ink. It was a frightening sight.
Suddenly, Keitaro killed your mother. Yes, reader. Your mother. He killed your mother. Then transformed back.
Keitaro woke up. It turned out this whole story was part of his acid trip! Haha! Well, except for the killing your mother part. He really killed your mother, and buried her in the garden. The garden she loved more than she loved you..the garden underlooking the secret window.
The moral is..don't do drugs. They seriously screw you up.
Suddenly, demons appeared.
"Rooflze!" came Keitaro's battle cry.
There was a fight. Many limbs were severed. Many laughs were done out loud. Many mothers were proclaimed good at sexual activities.
After dispatching of the demons, one last challenge was presented.
Ron Howard!
"U CAANOTT PASSSSS," bellowed Ron Howard.
"y helo thar," greeted Keitaro, "howz ur mom doin"
Ron Howard exploded. The insult was so amazing, he couldn't stand it. Keitaro began to molest what was left of his body.
Keitaro decided to take the sewer way home because Keitaro was high beyond reason. Upon opening the manhole, he was greeted with a smell. The smell...of the undead.
Zombies appeared! Zombies with swastikas on their sleeves! NAZI ZOMBIES!
A graphic sex scene began, lasting eight hours.
After the super hot zombie loving, Keitaro went home. But only to discover an alien-infested meteorite had crushed his home. The aliens smelled the French Toast Crunch cereal in his pants, and began to rush out. Keitaro needed to think. Fast.
"u guyz liek checkarz?"
The aliens stopped in their tracks. The thought of playing a game of checkers seemed to interest them. One began to cough up a live chicken, while another started to eat his own foot.
After an immensely arousing game of checkers, Keitaro decided it was time for a break. He got up, and magically the Inn reappeared right next to the giant crater. He walked in, said "nic azz asl" to the residents of Hinata Inn, put his swim clothes on, and went to the hot springs.
Suddenly, overdramatic music was heard. A shark fin appeared in the water. Then a bear appeared. "Francisco!! Come out!" called the bear. "What do you want, George?" came a reply from the water. "It's time for my afternoon loving!" screamed the bear. "Fine." The shark got up out of the water, held the bear's hand, and together they walked off towards the city.
Keitaro was scared. "OMFGH BUTSECKXS???," he screamed in shock.
Keitaro jumped out of the hot springs. It was getting dark. He walked outside and did some more drugs, then noticed the full moon was out.
He started to transform. Unbeknownst to his friends and family (besides his childhood friend, Sir Lancelot), Keitaro was a wereoctopus. His nose disappeared, he grew new arms, and he gained the power to squirt black ink. It was a frightening sight.
Suddenly, Keitaro killed your mother. Yes, reader. Your mother. He killed your mother. Then transformed back.
Keitaro woke up. It turned out this whole story was part of his acid trip! Haha! Well, except for the killing your mother part. He really killed your mother, and buried her in the garden. The garden she loved more than she loved you..the garden underlooking the secret window.
The moral is..don't do drugs. They seriously screw you up.