"Unpredictable"
Plot summary: For years Roxanne had taunted Megamind that he was so predictable. Now he wants to prove to her that he can be unpredictable.
Disclaimer: DreamWorks owns Megamind. Their blue alien is still inserting ideas into my head and compelling me to write about him. If anyone has anything to complain about, it should be me. I'm not making any money off all this effort, you know.
Roxanne had taunted Megamind for years about how predictable he was. Well, it was the truth. She could recite all the repetitive elements of the kidnappings: Minion with the knockout spray, check; that awful smelling bag, check; a new ingenious ee-vil invention, check; Megamind bragging about said invention, check: Metro Man to the rescue, check; something going wrong with the new invention, check; Megamind off to prison, check. Actually it was amazing how predictable it all was.
At first she had taunted him out of her irritation with the disruption to her day and to her personal plans that the kidnappings caused. But eventually she came to accept that the kidnappings were as much a part of her job as going to the station or filming her news reports on location. Then her taunting Megamind became more for her own personal amusement, to see how quickly she could get under his skin. And it did seem to genuinely bother him when she pointed out how predictable he was. He would try so hard to prove that he wasn't. But he never succeeded.
He had surprised her when he remarked on how often she had called him predictable, and asked her if she would be interested in experiencing a truly unpredictable kidnapping. So surprised, that she was momentarily speechless. Megamind smirked at her, and inquired, "Cat got your tongue? Or are you afraid?"
Maybe she was feeling a little adventuresome that day, or perhaps reckless would be a better word. "No, I'm not afraid. All right, I give you permission to kidnap me- for one time- if you can make it unpredictable. But if, in my judgment, it's too routine, you have to make it up to me."
"How would I do that?" he inquired, looking at Roxanne with mischievous speculation in his eyes.
She suggested terms; Megamind accepted, but then introduced an additional proposal. Roxanne had known for a long time that the battles with Metro Man had largely been a game to Megamind. Now, she thought, he apparently wanted to play a different kind of game with her. She was intrigued by his proposition, and consented.
"Expect the unexpected," he tossed over his shoulder as he mounted his hoverbike. He left her balcony as abruptly and impetuously as he had arrived. If she'd thought about it, she could have interpreted it as an omen.
She assumed he would do it within the week. So, of course, in order to be unpredictable, he waited almost an entire month. By that time she had more or less forgotten about the agreement.
It was dark when she finished work, and had just walked outside the station looking to hail a cab. She had a moment of panic when she was grabbed from behind, twisted around, and flung over someone's shoulder. She looked down, and saw the trailing black cape. After all this time, she still was amazed at how strong he was given his slim build. Probably it had something to do with his alien physiology.
Wait, why wasn't she impaled on spikes? He must have left off the dangerous looking collar. Well, she learned early on that he looked out for her safety. She would give him a few points for surprising her, and this was a little different from the usual routine. "Does Minion have the night off?" Roxanne inquired.
"You wanted unpredictable."
She didn't respond. She considered struggling, then reminded herself she had given him permission to kidnap her this time. She wondered if she should do it anyway, but decided that it might lead to one or both of them getting accidentally hurt. She would prefer to avoid that. She was curious to see what his plan was.
She heard the sound of a car door opening, and he carefully placed her inside the invisible car. Before she quite realized what had happened, he had her wrists bound. That was one predictable part that she had learned to be grateful for: he and Minion both knew how to restrain her wrists and ankles in such a way that, while they were secure, it never chaffed her skin or left a bruise or abrasion. She noticed there were no spikes on the gloves either. He placed a blindfold over her eyes. "At least this is an improvement over the bag," Roxanne offered. "And no knockout spray?"
Megamind murmured, "How can you appreciate the differences if you're unconscious?"
Then she felt his gloved fingers around her ankles as he tied a rope there also. She decided to goad him a little. "You know, the restraints are rather routine."
"It is still a kidnapping after all."
The trip to the Lair was quick. He didn't speak to her: no amusing banter. Roxanne wondered why this was. Was this part of him trying to make it feel like a 'real' kidnapping? Maybe he was trying to unnerve her. She refused to be intimidated by the silence.
Megamind was eager with anticipation, but also a little nervous. She had agreed to this in general, but when he enacted the details of his plan, maybe Roxanne would - No, he emphasized to himself, it was essential to be confident. Being timid or uncertain would undermine his presentation and his goal.
When he removed her from the car he carried her in his arms, her legs over his left arm and his right arm pressing her into his chest. After she was placed in the chair, and the blindfold was removed, she saw she was in the usual room in the Lair. However, the room was darker than usual, the only light provided by numerous candles. "Have you suffered a power outage?" Roxanne quipped.
Megamind smiled at her. "I thought a change in lighting would …set a different mood." Roxanne wasn't sure how to respond to that. "So now that I have you in my clutches, what should I do with you, Miss Ritchi?"
"What, you don't have a plan?"
"Of course, I have a plan, but I might consider your suggestions."
""How about, let me go?"
He frowned. "Now that, Miss Ritchi, would be boring. And after all the trouble I took to bring you here? Oh, no." He began to circle around her. "During our last few months of kidnappings, I was under the distinct impression, Miss Ritchi, that you were flirting with me. I thought perhaps you would like to spend some time with me, without the interference of Metro Man."
She knew she should say something; where was her agile banter now? So she just looked at him with innocent, perplexed eyes.
"I see you don't deny it," he continued.
She recovered. "I don't know what you're talking about."
"Oh, I think you do. I think you're tired of dull, predictable, Mr. Goody Two- Shoes. I think you want something more exciting, perhaps dangerous. Maybe... a villain."
Her mouth parted slightly, but she could think of nothing to say. She wanted to reply with something witty and biting, but her mind was blank.
"Speechless, Miss Ritchi? How… unpredictable."
She sputtered, "Your thinking is as flawed as- as- your evil inventions, and-."
Whatever she was going to say was effectively cut off when he reached forward and cupped her chin, stroking her cheek with his thumb. His other hand on her shoulder, he leaned down and placed his lips on hers. The kiss was gentle at first, but then became more hungry.
Suddenly Roxanne realized she should be resisting, not passively accepting this behavior. She pulled her head back, wrenching her mouth away from his. "No, stop. This is… wrong."
"What do I care about wrong? I am the villain after all." He recaptured her chin with his hand and drew it back to within reach of his lips. "And I think you are not as unwilling as you protest," he murmured. As he kissed her deeply again, Roxanne surrendered. He was correct about what she wanted. She pressed her lips against his, opening her mouth to his caressing tongue. He released her chin, and moved that hand to the back of her head. Now he was straddling her lap, one knee resting beside her thigh on the chair.
His lips moved to her neck. She gave a little moan. "Why don't you release my hands?" Roxanne whispered.
"Oh no. You're still my captive. I don't want you to forget that you're in my power; that I'm in control."
He started to unbutton her blouse.
"Sir! Where are you?" Minion's voice was calling. "I have those parts you wanted. They weren't nearly as hard to find as we thought."
Damn, thought Megamind. He had clearly miscalculated. He thought for sure it would take Minion much longer to finish all those errands. But that's all right; he could improvise.
Minion's first thought upon entering the room was that something was very wrong. Miss Ritchi should not be in the room, tied to the chair, especially since she looked afraid. At least that's how he was interpreting her rapid breathing, and a slightly glazed look on her face. And Sir should not be looming over Miss Ritchi like that, the fingers of one hand entwined in her hair, and the other hand holding his gun, pointing it at Minion.
"Leave this room, Minion. Now," Megamind said brusquely.
Minion had no idea what was happening, but he hesitated only a moment, trusting that the gun would be on the dehydration setting. "But, Sir, what's going on? I know that you would never want to hurt Miss Ritchi, but I think she looks frightened. I don't want you to do something you'll regret later."
Megamind sighed. He had hoped to not break the mood. He released Roxanne and took a step away from her. Lowering his gun, but not holstering it, he said, "Roxanne, tell Minion that you're not afraid to be alone with me."
"Minion, it's okay. I'm fine. I'm not afraid." When Minion seemed to hesitate, Roxanne assured him, "You can go. Really."
"Well, if you're sure." She nodded, and Minion reluctantly left.
"Sorry about that," Megamind apologized.
"I can't believe you pulled your gun on Minion."
"You wanted me to be unpredictable."
"I think you've taken it too far."
"I'll talk to him later, explain everything."
"Everything?"
"Well, maybe not everything."
Placing his gun back in the holster, he approached her. "I think… we were... here." He again straddled her lap, took her head in his hands, and returned to plundering her mouth.
Roxanne didn't really want to, but she broke off the kiss. "All right. You win, you scoundrel. You've definitely been unpredictable."
"Thank you, but I'm not ready to declare victory yet. I'm not done being unpredictable." He proceeded to unbutton her blouse, nibbling her neck, slowly trailing his lips lower and lower.
Roxanne whispered, "Why don't we just move to your bedroom?"
"Shh. Don't break character. It's supposed to be our first time. How can I seduce you if you give in too easily?"
"Oh, right." She considered how to perform her role: the reluctant captive of the incredibly handsome criminal genius. It was harder than Roxanne had expected, curbing her own desire for him, balancing resistance and submission. But if her lover wanted to play this game - to act out fantasies he never would have initiated when he was still a villain - she would humor him.
She didn't care about losing the wager part of their agreement – he'd earned it. Let him revel in being called unpredictable. But, she would never want him to think she preferred him as a criminal. Perhaps she should avoid admitting that she too used to have fantasies about him doing just this sort of thing during that time in their past.
Author Note: Yes, I know: it's been done before: the plotline of Megamind is no longer a villain but he and Roxanne act out the kidnappings as a romantic/sexual game. But an image popped into my head, and I went with it. I just hope my little story is different enough to be entertaining.
And thanks to nineteennintytwo for beta reading, suggestions and encouragement.