Chapter One

I don't get it. Why is it I can't feel the rain? The lightning cracking...I see it. The thunder...I hear it. Why can't I feel the rain? The bridge underneath my feet, the brown-watered canal before me. I see it all. Why can't I feel the rain? Why..?

"I wake up more tired than I was going to sleep the night before." Henri explained to Dr. Lavene, who sat quietly taking in everything the boy had to say. Henri was near six feet or so with matted brown hair that was no longer than two or so inches. The back of his head was heavily placed down on the leather sofa sitting in Dr. Lavene's office and his broken, clearly worn shoes hung off the other side.

"Why do you think that is?" Dr. Lavene ever so cautiously questioned. Lavene was a good doctor with a wife and two daughters. He had a photograph of the three blondes on his desk in a heart-shaped picture frame. Next to it he had a photograph of his mother, who was gray-haired and had the prettiest blue eyes. Lavene had a tendency to nod as he listened to a person, as well as rub his short stubbly beard. He was a well cut man with a clean exposure.

"I don't know." Henri answered. Dr. Lavene expected a response like this. The kids at the age of sixteen or so, Henri's age- he always got this answer.

"Do you think it's that you're physically tired or mentally tired when you wake up?" Lavene then questioned, peering down at Henri who was now rubbing his eyes.

"I don't know Dr. Lavene, just tired- okay?"

"Yes, of course."

"There's only five minutes left to my session, do you want to just call it here?" Henri questioned as he stood up from the sofa. He eyed the wall clock and then looked back towards Dr. Lavene.

"If that's what you'd like." Dr. Lavene simply answered.

"Yeah, it is. Good bye Doctor." Henri was quick to respond and to exit. He didn't bother to smile at the receptionist like he normally did every day before, but instead he made no eye contact and quickly exited the building.

It was warm day outside, but Henri didn't seem to notice. He was very fast paced as he walked home. Normally Henri was happy leaving his daily session, Dr. Lavene generally was capable of brightening the rest of his day and making the future look less bleak. It was a shame that Henri had returned to his sour state of mind so early as 11:00 AM. "Henri, sweetie, how was your session?" Henri's bright-eyed happy go lucky mother questioned as he opened the front door. She wore a a pink apron covered in flour, obviously because she had been baking, and had her thirsty strawberry blonde hair up in pigtails.

"It was the same as usual." Henri quickly responded.

"Oh now Henri, what is the matter?" His mother then questioned. Her hands were on her waist, which generally was how she stood when she questioned her son. She looked like a walking mid-life crisis ridden house wife as she waited for a response. She came across so happy, but one would most definitely question whether it was actually happiness she was feeling.

"Nothing." Henri then answered.

"Honey I know when something's up, you always tell me about your sessions." She then said back to him. Henri paused, looking down at her. He appeared to be twice her size on the upper-level of flooring right when you entered his house. There was two steps into the place and then one step down once you were in. He was easily a foot taller, so at this point he was almost talking to one of her extending pigtails.

"Mom, nothing is wrong." Henri repeated, this time even quicker.

"Sweetie just tel-" She began, pausing then after once noticing Henri beginning to cry. "Oh Henri not this again, come here." She finished

"N-No mom it's fine." He then replied, at this point breaking down completely into tears. The strain in his rather deep, puberty ridden voice was obvious. He cried heavily, letting out wails in between the flowing tears.

"There there, life isn't so bad." His mother almost sarcastically comforted him. She wrapped an arm around him stepping up onto the step before her. He continued to cry, unable to respond to her at this point. "Come on now, you didn't take your medicine this morning did you?"

"I don'eed to take it anymore."

"Well obviously you do if you're starting these fits again."

"No I don't need to. I'm okay." Henri sobbed, unable to stop his tears.

"Henri Samuel Anthony you cannot lie to your mother."

"Mom I'm jus'fine okay!?"

"HENRI!" His mother screamed, slapping him across the face. "How dare you disrespect me so greatly by lying to my face! Get out of my sight you lying crier! I can't take your lies."

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry!" Henri continued to sob as he walked down the step making sure not to shoulder tap his mom. He darted to his room, closing the door behind him.

His mother was known to respond like this, she never took pity on him when he cried. She always found a way to turn it against him and then followed that with an insult. She had done this to him since his depression started, which was back when he was twelve or so. Now sixteen one would expect him to have moved on, but he still broke down quite frequently when off his 60mg antidepressants that he hated taking because it numbed his entire mind.

Alone in his room Henri had managed to stop crying. His face was sticky from the tears and he felt like a complete immature fool. What sixteen year-old sobs like that? Henri didn't think it was fair to anyone that he was so sad, he didn't have anything wrong with him! He lived comfortable in a middle-class family that had well prepared food on a plate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner for him. He could get almost anything he wanted if he asked and there was absolutely nothing physically wrong with him. He was in shape, not the ugliest duckling and girls seemed to talk to him.

"A sorry excuse for a happy person." Henri mumbled to himself as he stared in the mirror behind his door. His eyes were puffy and his cheeks were red. He then reached for his medicine bottle that sat on his bedroom dresser beside the door. He sighed, notching his head. "Look at yourself." He carried on.

Nabbing two of the 40mg blue, mind-numbing pills he shook his head. "You are a selfish, ungrateful, disgusting, sorry excuse for a human being." He spewed, dry swallowing one of the pills there after. "You're bad and should feel bad." He continued, swallowing the second pill. He flopped down on the floor, closing his eyes. He sat quietly for twenty minutes with his mind blank, just waiting for the pills to kick in.

"It's a lot easier to be trapped inside your head with something to numb you, isn't in Henri?" A shrill voice said.

"I'm not trapped." Henri nearly whispered.
"Come on now Henri, why else would you lust to be out so bad?"
"I don't want to be out, I don't want to leave."

"Leave where?"

"No where."

"What do you mean Henri?"

"I don't mean to mean anything, I don't have anywhere to leave."

"That's untrue, you want to leave your head don't you Henri?"

"I don't, I don't."

"Why don't you want to leave your head Henri?"
"Because I'm not in my head!" Henri then screamed, a small amount of drool dribbling out of his mouth. He flopped onto his back, staring up at the blurring white ceiling.

"You're on the edge, Henri." The shrill unisex voice whispered before Henri only saw black.

Henri awoke on the floor of his bedroom to the sound of his parents conversing down the hall. "Duel Academy?" His mother questioned, her voice sounding a tad unsure but still curious.

"Yes, Duel Academy." His father replied. "It'll be great for a boy his age. He'll be around people just like him."

"I understand that much." His mother then said, pausing for a moment. "I don't think Henri has ever even played duel monsters."

"Doesn't matter, we'll get him a deck and send him on his way. Trust me, it'll be nicer letting the system have him at this age rather than us."

"I'm sure you're right."

"I know I am." Henri hadn't thought anything up until this point, and he was too far gone to speak. His mind faded and he blacked out once more.

Henri found himself waking up on the floor once again, drool crusting down the side of his left cheek. Nobody had woken him up for his sessions this morning, he knew this because glancing up at his alarm clock he never set he read 1:04 PM. To think he slept in this late. He gathered himself, standing up to look into his mirror. His mind still blank he opened the door. "Oh good you're awake!" His mother cheerful shouted from down the hall.

Henri approached the kitchen, nodding his head at his mother instead of verbally responding. "Henri, we think it best you go to Duel Academy." His father then said, walking into the kitchen. It was rare for his dad to take off work for Henri's sake. Henri simply nodded at his father, still not talking.

"It's on an island you know." His mother than chimed in.

"There are plenty of people your age, and you can make a career out of dueling once you graduate." His father continued.

"Trust me Henri, you'll love it there." His mother chirped.

"We leave at five."

"That's right, so pack your things! You best be ready to pass the entrance exam too! That's tomorrow morning, but we're going to stay at a motel."

Henri was quiet taking in all the new information, but he wasn't entirely put off by the idea of going somewhere new. Though, thinking of Duel Monsters, he never had really gotten into the game. "I'll go pack now." Henri then quietly spoke. He turned back towards the hall and began his way back to his room. Before he opened his bedroom door his mother called out at him.

"Henri, don't forget your pills!"

"I won't.." Henri replied.

Inside his room Henri b-lined it to his closet. He pulled a tan canvas backpack from the corner of his closet and walked toward his dresser. He took out three shirts, a sweater, a few pairs of pants, underwear, socks, and of course a beanie with a bill. He felt like he was packing quick, grabbing all his clothing and little things that meant something to him. He turned towards his mirror and shook his head, "Why does it feel like I'm unpacking?" he asked himself.

By the time he was finished it was two, and he was exhausted once again. He laid down, this time in his bed. His pillow firmly holding his head he thought quietly to himself. Tomorrow I'll be somewhere else. Will there be a tomorrow? Does there need to be..?

Henri's bedroom door swung open just a few hours later and his father's burly voice called out "Henri get up, we're leaving."