What Happens In the Producing Room

AN: I've always wanted to write for Gintama...

There was mild panic once the main characters for the renown anime Gintama received notice in their producing room; the show would be starting again.

"What the hell do you mean 'we're starting again, so get ready', EH?!" Gintoki roared, flinging his new script behind him, the papers bursting like a firework and floating wildly to the floor. "You wanna drag out lazy butts to the set for the third time? Maybe cancel us again-?!

"Gin San, if the producers hear you, they might take away our time slot!" Shinpachi shot at him, frantically gathering the fallen script before glaring at the silver-haired "samurai". "Do you want to be out of action for another six months?"

"Oi, I never wanted this lame job! When I was created, I was sure I would be a big hit! But no, look at me now, stuck with these two for god knows how long-!"

"Gin San!"

"You know, in Na***o's break room, they get a vending machine! Where's my vending machine! I haven't had a daily dose of sugar for six months. I'm having withdrawals!"

Shinpachi's eye began to twitch. "Gin San..."

Gintoki leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on the table. "Aw, it'll happen to us anyways, Patsu-san. You know how it goes. A shojo protagonist is upset when his show is cancelled. But because everyone's in love with him being in love with Su****, he knows the show will start again. Next thing you know, his time slot is locked away in some Thursday night disaster like Gintama-."

"Can you stop moping over that?!"

Kagura was lying on the floor on her stomach, ignoring their dramatic argument and diligently reading the script, muttering under her breath, "And I have to say, 'Are you okay, Kin Chan?' and Shinpachi tells Gin Chan that he has to leave..."

Gintoki heard her and glanced down at her script. "We're still going on with the Kintoki Arc? Am I the hero in this arc too?"

"You're the hero in every arc, Gin Chan," Kagura drawled, picking her nose and flinging the chosen booger at Shinpachi who squeaked and jumped back.

"A handsome character like me? Obviously! But this isn't like the final arc or anything, right? We still have time until Takasugi tries to destroy Edo, right? I still have more screen time to burn, right?!"

Shinpachi groaned, "No one cares, Gin San. Every anime has to end."

Kagura nodded knowingly, her eyes wide. "Yup, yup, like Belze*** or Bl***h. Even N***to is ending soon."

Gintoki gave a gusty sigh and sat for a moment, slouched in his chair. Then he straightened up and met his lackeys' eyes with some kind of determination."I'm making a deal with you guys."

They blinked. "What kind?"

"Until Gintama, our only source of fame... until it ends..."

"Yes?"

"... Will you promise to become my loyal servant, bent on serving my will-."

CRACK!

Kagura fist collided with Gintoki's skull, steam rising from the contact and misting over her dangerous expression. "Hell no."

"I was kidding, Kagura, kidding," Gintoki groaned, pushing her fist off and holding his bump with one hand. "I wish you two had more faith in me!"

"Should we count the time you left us to Hedoro as a reason, or maybe the time you wanted to leave us as screwdrivers until you found out your joystick was-."

Gintoki waved his hand airily. "Details, my boy, details. Do they matter now?"

"Technically yes, but-."

"In any case," he said loudly, "that wasn't what I was going to say. If Gintama ends, then it ends. Nothing else we can do except hope that the manga still makes more material for us. But until it does..."

He fixed them with a stare that they knew well; it had been perfected in the show as Gintoki's Shiroyasha look. "Until then, we become the number one anime known, give our all to the show, and finally rise to the big shots in the media world. Alright?"

"Yeah!" Kagura and Shinpachi cheered. "Don't worry, Gin Chan/San! We're going to be the best lead supporting cast in the entire company!"

They left the producing room with their precious scripts, bent on studying and dutifully practicing to make the best performance start since their last break in early 2012.

Gintoki's smile was proud and full of endearment. And then... he paused to think about what he had just said, sappy moments and clichés and all.

He moaned, burying his face into his hands and then beating his head onto the table repeatedly. "I really need some sugar now..."