A/N: I do not own Supernatural.
Dean knew this was a bad idea. He knew it. And yet, nothing in the world would pull him away from where he currently was. He wouldn't allow it. It felt right, it felt home. It felt PERFECT.
The feel of Castiel pressed up against him, feeling his warmth, his safety, calmed him. He ran his fingers through the angel's unruly hair as his tongue pushed his way into Castiel's mouth.
The angel groaned.
It was the most beautiful sound in the world to Dean.
It had all started off innocently enough. He had approached him in his room in the bunker, intending to say goodbye before going into the box. He knew it would be hard, and he hated goodbyes. Plus the fact that he already said goodbye to Castiel once was still too fresh in his mind. He remembered how painful it was. He remembered the feelings of helplessness, emptiness and sadness that filled him. He had regretted that he hadn't told him how he felt. And at that point, he thought he never would.
But Cas came back. And he was so elated that honestly, the thought escaped him. Oh sure, he still dropped his eyes to Castiel's lips when he was talking, still felt that desire whenever the angel was around. And they had been so busy with Jack and the alternate world and the archangel Michael and everything else that Dean simply couldn't find the time.
But now, now was different. Michael was going to destroy the world. He literally had no more time. This was it. He pushed back his fear of rejection, of having his feelings unreciprocated, and kissed the angel. And from his response, the angel didn't seem to mind.
Castiel seemed to be holding back, though. Dean didn't know why but suspected it was because of his angelic grace. He could still smite someone without touching him. Dean thought maybe he was reining in some power so as not to hurt him.
His right hand left the angel's hair and gently stroked the skin at his neck. He felt the angel shudder and he grinned, pulling out of the kiss to breathe.
"Cas," he said.
"Dean," the angel replied with his gravelly voice. He rested his forehead against the hunter's.
Dean swallowed. He hated this, he hated this SO MUCH. But it had to be done. There wasn't much time. He wasn't going to say goodbye to his angel this time without him knowing exactly how he felt.
Pressing himself harder against the angel, he rolled his hips. Castiel's blue eyes widened when his erection came into contact with the hunter's. Dean smirked. If only there was time.
"Cas," he tried again. "I-I have to tell you something."
Castiel pressed his lips to Dean's forehead gently. Dean smiled and laced the fingers of his left hand with the angel's right.
"This isn't easy for me. You know I hate talking about these things." He swallowed. "But...you need to know. With the end of the world, and Michael coming, I may not get another chance.
"The last time you died, I was broken. I was-I wasn't me. I lashed out, treated Jack like shit, I even yelled at Sammy. Because I was grieving. I was grieving YOU, Cas. No death had ever affected me like yours did. And believe me, I've seen plenty." He took a shuddering breath.
"You do not need to say anything, Dean, if it makes you uncomfortable."
Dean shook his head. "No. I have to. I WANT to, it's just hard."
He pulled his head back and stared into Castiel's beautiful blue eyes. Eyes he dreamt about. Eyes he longed for. Eyes he wanted to spend days getting lost in.
They are so damn blue.
"The reason I was grieving was simple. I realized it but still fought against it. Fought against what I've felt for years. Because it was easier that way."
He paused and pressed a soft kiss to Castiel's lips again before continuing.
Taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes. "Cas, I love you. I've been in love with you for years, but your death brought it front and center." He slowly opened his eyes, afraid of what he would see.
Castiel was smiling. He smiled in response. "So that's okay?" He asked quietly. In response, Castiel kissed him. Soft at first, but grew in intensity. Dean had never had anything that had felt better in his entire life.
"I love you too, Dean."
His heart soared at that and THAT was literally the best moment in Dean's life now. He couldn't believe he had waited so long. Missed out on so much.
He pulled Castiel closer to him, losing himself in his embrace, in his scent. He wanted to stay like this forever, in this bliss.
Castiel moaned into his mouth as their erections collided. Dean felt the friction and pressed into it. He wanted this, so much. He wanted Cas, so, so much.
In the blink of an eye, his arms were empty. He opened his eyes and saw he was alone. He frowned and looked around. Castiel was nowhere to be found. His lips still tasted like Castiel.
"Cas?" He said, slowly. Dread crept into his bones. He knew something wasn't right. He knew SOMETHING took Castiel away from him. And that something would pay dearly once his angel was safe.
Suddenly a cold wave washed over Dean. The emptiness of the room, the silence, made him drop to his knees on the concrete floor. He knew. He knew what took the angel he loved. And he didn't know how, he didn't know when, but he knew he would get his angel back. He could find a way to trick the archangel who promised destruction of the Earth and get Castiel to return. He had to. He just got him, he wasn't about to let him go now. Not after experiencing this. After experiencing true love. He wasn't about to let that, or his angel, go.
Realizing what happened, even without knowing why, he whispered two words.
"The Empty."
A/N: Thanks for reading!