It was my fault that Sapphire died, all those years ago. I'm reminded of it whenever I look at the Temple Door - where her gem used to glow.
Ruby doesn't talk to me. Sapphire's death has made her humble, and quiet. She talks to us only when she has to, and never fuses with any of us.
Sapphire's death was a curse upon all of us - now we all have her gift of future vision. If I had it back then, I would have known. I would have been able to save her, even if it was my own expense. Even if it shattered me instead. The world would be a better place that way. They would be happier.
Sapphire didn't die a hero. She didn't save anyone. It was directly my fault, me saving my own self instead of her. Steven knows that. He still talks to me, but it's never the same.
I wish I could go back. If I trained more, if I was just a little bit stronger...
[Present Day]
"Hey, Amethyst! What are you up to?" Steven asked excitedly.
I shrugged. "Just playing chess with Pearl..." And letting her win, as I always did. I knew she was really annoyed by that, but I couldn't find it in me to defeat her.
The warp pad chimed, and Ruby appeared on it. She waved to Steven. She didn't even look at me or Pearl as she entered her room. I sighed, that was normal, too.
I got up. "Steven, can you finish up my game? I'll be back in the morning." I went to my room. I spend so much time in here now - just feeling guilty and weak. Steven and Pearl try so hard to get my spirits up again, but it's impossible to forget what I've done. And it's impossible to forgive what I've done.
So I took a nap, in my favorite pile of garbage, while feeling like I was my worst.
Nothing could have prepared me for what happened next.