A companion fic for my first Kurtcedes fic, "Nearly Kissed Her, Or Six Times That Kurt Nearly Kissed Mercedes And One Time He Actually Did." I always thought it would be a lot of fun to do a companion fic to that one, since Kurt thinks that Mercedes is quite oblivious to his thoughts, when maybe she's not so much. Also, I had a lot of fun writing "Nearly Kissed Her", so I thought I'd give it another shot.
Sometimes, when they're singing with the club, or sitting alone in his basement as Kurt struggles through his math homework and Mercedes tries to explain it to him, she can forget that he's gay and that this relationship could never work because there's no way in hell that he'd ever feel the way she does. Sometimes, she can imagine a future where it's just her and him and a handful of clichés. She doesn't know if she's ever liked a thought more, unless of course, you count the idea of opening for Beyonce.
And sometimes, Mercedes thinks that maybe Kurt might have those thoughts too.
The first time that she thinks that he might kiss her is on the bus on the way to Regionals. The first part of the all night drive is spent in joking and singing, despite Mr. Shue's advice to rest their voices, but after a few hours everyone has calmed down and the only sounds on the bus are coming from the classic radio station playing over the speakers. In the peaceful calm, Mercedes falls asleep close to Kurt's side; right arm looped casually through his left and her head nestled on his shoulder.
Halfway through, the bus pulls into a rest stop, and Mr. Shue and Ms. Pillsbury shake the Glee clubbers awake. Mercedes and Kurt are at their usual spot at the back of the bus, so they're still stirring as the rest of the bus begins to disembark.
She looks up at Kurt, still sleepy and not wanting to lose this feeling of closeness, and his shirt smells clean and fresh (and then there's the way that he smells, but she tries not to think about that) and her eyes meet his and she thinks that maybe he'll close the small distance between their mouths. But then she remembers that he's gay, for God's sake, and that it's probably just the fact that he's tired and she's still sleepy and that she wants it to be true so badly that she's just imagining the look in his eyes (or maybe she's not). So she just smiles and tries not to look too hopeful
And then the moments broken as he smiles back and stretches, and she hugs him gently and gets ready to head into the rest stop.
The second time that she thinks he might kiss her, it's after a football game. She's proud of Kurt for going back, and is glad that he's so happy about how proud it makes his dad. It makes her proud too, cause that's her best friend out there, being all sporty and fabulous.
This game has taken forever in her mind, though Mercedes has enjoyed watching her boy kick three field goals and an extra point, though the rest of the team is struggling. They're playing William Taft, their biggest rivals, and just about everyone but Kurt and the WHTHS kicker have taken one bone-crushing hit after another. She doesn't think even Beyonce could help these boys now, and Mercedes thinks that Beyonce can fix just about everything.
She watches the luminescent yellow numbers tick gradually down to zero over the score of 17-16 as Finn loops a couple more passes over the line, and Matt, the only person besides Kurt whose having a good game, bruises his way for a three yard gain, and the board reads 4th and 2 from the 42. For a moment, Mercedes wonders if maybe Coach Tanaka will just say to hell with it and go for it, but there's the whistle for the timeout with three seconds left, and Kurt is pulling on his helmet as he jogs out to the huddle.
She does the calculations in her head, and watches as his small body disappears among the linemen in the huddle. 59 goddamn yards is a long way, she thinks, but if anyone can kick a ball 177 feet through those goal posts, it's her boy Kurt Hummel.
The huddle's broken now, and she follows Kurt's facemask as it looks towards the parents section, and she thinks of just how proud his dad must be in this moment, before he's even kicked (because she's pretty damn proud of him, and his dad will be a million times prouder). And then he's looking at her, and her eyes meet his, or what part of his eyes she can see through the crowd and his facemask, and in that moment, she can't think anything but I love that boy.
He cues the music, and she recognizes the opening of Don't Stop Believin' and wonders if in his nervousness he realizes what song is playing. His three familiar steps fall into place, and she counts them off in her head, having spent enough time out on the practice field with him that she knows the routine in her sleep.
Mercedes watches his foot connect with the ball powerfully, and knows in that moment that it's good, and a moment later the formerly silent crowd has realized it too, and let out a roar that has to have been heard all over the state of Ohio. The second the ball breaks through the two yellow posts that must have seemed miles away for Kurt, he's lost under a pile of red jerseys, and the stands are rapidly emptying on to the field to join them.
The students who don't run to pull down the goalposts (damn, Figgins is going to be pissed, she thinks as she follows the crowd) surround Kurt and the team, and the attitude in the air is happy and free and infectious. There's no one wearing red that isn't smiling and for this moment, social barriers are the thing of movies.
A helmet has been kicked towards the outskirts of the mass, and she wonders if maybe it's Kurt's, but then the boy himself comes into view, helmetless and smiling, and her cheeks are already starting to hurt from grinning so wide. She wraps her arms around him, and marvels at how well they fit together, even with his bulky shoulder pads.
They just stand there for a while, being shaken every once and a while as someone slaps Kurt hard on the back, listening to the sounds of Journey still playing in the background. She wonders how he still smells so good after several hours wearing all this bulky gear, but instead of asking his secret, she just hugs him tighter.
Eventually, she pulls away and grins up at him. "Nice kick," she says, and notices that he has terrible helmet hair. The stubborn piece of his bangs that he's always complaining about is hanging down in front of his eyes and there's a part in the back sticking up every which way. Mercedes wants to tell him just how adorable he looks in this moment, but instead she says, "But you know your hair looks like crap right now, you know?"
And that's when she thinks he might kiss her, with Journey and joyous yelling in the background, her arms fitting perfectly under his, even with his shoulder pads. But someone nearly knocks him over with a hand on his shoulder, and his eyes break away from hers for just a second, and the moments gone.
And she tells herself that she's glad, because none of these kids need to go into cardiac arrest at this happy moment cause it turns out Kurt Hummel's not gay (which he is, she reminds herself), and besides, what good would one kiss while they're both slightly delirious do her (a lot, her heart tells her, but her head wins out in this moment)?
The third time she thinks that he might kiss her is at Nationals, as they celebrate in their waiting room, after they've just killed it, and she means killed it, and now it really doesn't matter how they did, because they're there, and they very well might not have been.
The second they'd left the stage, Kurt had wrapped one of his long arms over her shoulder and she'd thrown both of hers around his slim waist as they tripped down the stairs, laughing out of pure happiness and their clumsiness. Kurt's feet being far too large and them both being far too happy to care that they look like dorks.
His toe finally catches too much for him to stay steady, but he uses the momentum to spin them into the room and they're both laughing so hard they'd be doubled over if they weren't holding on to each other so tightly. The rest of the club surrounds them, and Mercedes is reminded of the football game all those months ago, but this is better because it's just them.
The lights feel bright and hot, but not uncomfortable, and Mercedes is holding back happy tears as she looks up at Kurt. His face is shining like some kind of earthbound star, and she remembers how just minutes ago, he'd absolutely kicked the shit out of his solo, and how she had picked up right where he left off. And, God, how she wishes it was actually just the two of them, instead of just feeling that way.
It's then that she thinks that maybe he'll kiss her, but then she feels someone's hand on her arm and is suddenly spinning into Mike's arms, and Tina embraces Kurt. As much as she loves Mike, she wishes she could have paused the moment right before he pulled her away and studied the look in Kurt's eyes. Mercedes thinks that maybe his eyes followed her even as he hugged Tina, but she's probably imagining things (or again, maybe she's not).
The fourth time she thinks that he might kiss her is nine months after Nationals, after a long summer, and a baby girl's birth, and hearts that have mended and been broken all over again.
They're a week away from Sectionals, and she's not letting her solo get taken away from her this year. If they sing the same thing, she'll just sing it better. And so she's spent every day for the past month in the auditorium practicing, and Kurt is always happy to come and play the piano for her on days he doesn't have practice.
She leans over his shoulder to check notes, cause this is going to be, has to be, perfect. Kurt joins her, tenor range harmonizing with hers as she reads from the book. She's so concentrated on her music that it doesn't even throw her off when he looks up from his fingers and meets her dark eyes with his blue-green ones.
She keeps singing, but can't break eye contact with him, and it's then that she thinks he'll push himself up off the bench and kiss her. And she doesn't even care that it would mess up her singing, or that he might be awkward after it, because, as much as she loves their friendship, she wants this so badly.
And then his fingers accidentally find a note so heinous that he has to physically wince and she loses her place laughing at him. She's almost glad the moment was broken, because she can't lose his friendship for just one quick kiss (though her heart is convinced it wouldn't ever just be one kiss between them).
The fifth time she thinks he might kiss her is also one of the worst times of her life. She's crying so hard that she can't even hit the 1 speed dial button on her phone until she's already sitting in his driveway. Mercedes only cries harder when his sleepy voice answers on the second ring, and he's asking where she is before she's even explained the situation. His caring only makes her cry harder, and she apologizes for not being able to think of anywhere else to go, but he cuts her off and she can hear his feet on the stairs through the speaker and she can't even talk past the tears and her love of this boy anymore.
She's surprised when he comes out into the drizzle that must have started while she drove, shirtless and wearing a pair of grey McKinley sweatpants. He's basically holding her up as he leads her out of the rain and down into his basement. He sets her down on the couch and crouches so she can cry into his chest for a minute, strong arms holding her up, and she's never felt this loved by anyone.
Kurt leaves her alone for just a moment as he goes to get a towel, but she already misses the feeling of his warmth and the muscles in his chest against her cheek. When he comes back, he dries her hair off with the towel, but wipes the tear tracks on her face away with his thumbs, even as more and more tears spill out of her eyes. He drapes the towel over her wet shoulders, then covers it with his arm and pulls her back into his chest.
She mumbles the story into his shoulder, about the accident, about how the doctor's aren't sure TJ will ever come out of the coma, and if he does, it's almost assured that he'll never walk again, about the massive fight her parents had that was the final straw that drove her out of the house and to him. She tells him how he knows that there's no group of boys in the world who are as happy as her three brothers, which makes it that much harder to see them looking so damn broken.
Mercedes isn't even sure if he hears it all, because her voice is muted by her tears and his chest, but he must understand, because he pulls her even tighter against his body, and she watches as her tears carve smooth paths through the rain that he hasn't dried off of his bare chest yet.
Eventually, between being so tired and feeling like she's running out of tears her crying softens, and she tells Kurt thank you for everything, and that she should probably get going, but he just hugs her even harder if it's possible and shakes his head before he pulls her up and uses one arm to turn the coach into a bed, and he lays her down for just a second alone, while he grabs pillows and blankets.
When Kurt crawls in next to her and pulls her to him so that she can use his small shoulder for a pillow, she almost starts crying again, because even on this hellish day, he manages to be lovable and perfect and the best friend anyone could ever ask for. And she falls asleep thinking just how much she loves him.
When she wakes up, Mercedes is hugging a pillow rather then her best friend, but he's right there kneeling next to her, warm hand on her shoulder shaking her awake. She doesn't quite remember why she's here, but Kurt's here, and his hand is warm, and he looks different then he usually does, and all he would have to do to kiss her is lean down a little. At the same time she wishes he would do just that, she remembers TJ and the tears well up, and then he's hugging her to his chest again, and he smells so good and the muscles in his chest make her feel safe, and the pain isn't lessened, but maybe it hurts in a less intense way.
The sixth time she thinks he might kiss her is at their senior prom. She was a little surprised that he'd asked, because she figured that she'd be going stag, or with some loser (Matt had promised to be her backup plan, but she'd told him not to worry about it and ask Santana like he wanted), and she figured Kurt would be going with, well, someone else. But she's absolutely overjoyed that he asked her, so of course she says yes, and she loves how big his smile is.
She knows it's not normal for prom dates to go shopping for their outfits together, but Kurt's the most fashion conscious person she knows, and besides, shopping with him is just more fun, so they drag Artie and Tina along, and have a hell of a good time.
She finds the perfect blue dress, sleeveless with a flowing skirt and a waist with a swirling pattern that Kurt can't stop gushing about, and he finds a black designer suit that fits him perfectly and a light blue vest that matches the color of the pattern on her dress exactly, and God, she's so happy because TJ is taking his first baby steps since the crash and Kurt is taking her to prom, and he can't seem to take his eyes off her the whole day for some reason.
And when she walks out on to that dance floor, she knows that it won't matter that Kurt is gay, every girl will be jealous, because her boy looks hot in formal wear, and there won't be another guy in the world who'll be able to hold a candle to him on that night.
She nearly melts when he comes to pick her up, and she giggles as he kisses her hand and hugs her tight. He's charming and sweet to everyone as her mother insists on taking roughly a billion pictures of them, and then he's leading her to his car with an arm over her shoulder, and she thinks that she's never, ever been this happy.
The first few songs after they arrive are fast, and they have fun being with their friends as they dance their hearts out, and Kurt and Mike have a dance off that Mike wins because he's Mike and Kurt's feet are still too big for his own good, and then a slow song comes on, and Artie and Tina maneuver somewhere they can be comfortable, and Brittany and Mike just look adorable.
Kurt raises his eyebrows at her while he bows slightly, and pulls her into a tight embrace as they sway to the familiar song. He hums through the verse, and she softly sings the chorus, because she just feels like singing around this kid, and then he spins her away from him and says, "You look marvelous, by the way," he continues as he pulls her back to his chest gently, "Angels would forfeit a beauty contest to you before it even started. Not that they can hold a candle to you on a normal day either."
He spins her away again as she answers (the first time she did it, she missed the warm and safe feeling of the muscles of his chest, but then she realized that leaving the safety of his arms means she gets to come back, and that's an amazing feeling), "You look amazing too, boy. Definitely the best-dressed guy here. Not that that's anything new," she says, and he gives that adorable half shrug and she really wonders how she hasn't melted by this point.
As she moves a little closer to him, that's the moment that she thinks he might kiss her, looking down on her like he is, the crappy lights making his hair look glowy and softer then she knows it is (and it's very, very soft to begin with), and suddenly she's terrified. Both of them are just months away from getting out of Lima, him going to Cal and her headed to NYU. And she thinks that if maybe she can just hold out until then, then she won't be spending everyday smelling his scent and hearing his voice and being safe and warm against the muscles of his chest and maybe she can move on and get over him finally.
So she lays her head against his shoulder, which is so comfortable and natural that she almost just wishes she had let him kiss her because who would ever want to get over this guy anyway? But she pushes those thoughts away and just enjoys herself.
They have as much fun as you can have under Ohio law with their Glee Club friends, and Mercedes dances with all the guys at least briefly, and has Mike show her a few moves, but she finds that she's always drawn back to her best friend. So when the last dance is called and a slow song she doesn't recognize starts, Mercedes isn't surprised to find herself in Kurt's arms again.
Her head finds her new favorite spot against his shoulder, and she chuckles at the vibrations that run through his chest as he hums the chorus. Even as the song ends, neither of them want to let go of this moment (because Mercedes was wrong earlier, this has to be the happiest she's ever been), so they just hold each other and sway for a minute more before Kurt says that they had better get over to Artie's soon. She agrees, and reluctantly lets go of him.
But before they leave, he drapes his arm over her shoulder, and she loves how comfortable this is.
After high school, they head off in different directions, Kurt to Cal-Berkley on an academic scholarship and her to NYU on a music scholarship. It's nice to have more people around who are like her, but she misses Kurt, and they talk nightly. He tells her about a guy he meets, John, whose tall and blonde haired and blue-eyed and Kurt's boyfriend for a few months, and remains his good friend even after they stop going out.
And when she visits for the summer after freshmen year, she can't help but be jealous of the attention Kurt gives to John. She shouldn't be, because he still gives her more of attention then seems possible. Besides, she's got Reggie now, the junior lead tenor of the NYU choir, whose nice and respectable and likes R&B and can sing his ass off (she tries hard not to think that as amazing as Reggie's voice is, it doesn't even hold a candle to Kurt's).
The next summer, Kurt comes to NYU, leaving Jamie, who's a senior chemistry major with black-rimmed glasses and long dark hair, to spend the summer with Mercedes in NYC. He comes just in time to make her feel safe and loved after Reggie breaks up with her, and God, it's hard to imagine why she would ever want to get over Kurt or date any other guy ever.
Finn's the one who suggests the reunion of the original 'revival' Glee Club (which is what they call themselves because Mr. Shue always reminded them that there had been Glee Club before, they'd just gotten it going again). Mercedes proposes that she drive down from New York because she's closer, and Kurt'll take a plane and meet there, and then they'll drive to California together. Quality best friend time while they see some of America to celebrate their mutual singleness.
They're the first to arrive, and as they talk while they lean against the piano, Mercedes fully realizes just how much she misses being near him and talking to him face to face. They haven't been there long when she looks up and realizes that he's so close that she can smell the clean scent wafting off of him and she's almost literally drowning in his eyes, because it's suddenly a lot harder to breathe.
And she's already resigning herself to the fact that this moment will soon be added to the list of all the times she thought Kurt would kiss her and didn't (although something in the air seems different this time), when he leans forward and captures her lips with his in a gentle kiss that she would be sure she was imagining if it didn't feel so real and amazing.
He's just tall enough that he bends his neck slightly and she looks up and their lips touch, and she's never thought that anything was more perfect. The kiss is slow and gentle and it takes a few seconds for his hand to come up and cup her cheek, as if this moment wasn't perfect enough before.
After what feels like forever (she would be perfectly fine with kissing Kurt for the rest of time), they pull apart and just smile at each other, because there's nothing else to say.
They spin apart as Finn and Rachel walk in to the room, and Mercedes expects to feel Kurt tense quickly in the smallest bit of jealousy he always has towards whomever Finn has his arm draped over, but it's not there, and there couldn't possibly be a bigger sign that something life changing has happened between them.
The pair has fun with their old group mates, who are all growing up and changing faster then any of them thought they would. Matt's wearing his loose OSU letter jacket, Tina wears a promise ring on her finger, Mike's hand lingers near Brittany's stomach, Puck's Mohawk has been replaced by a Marine haircut. But of course, some things haven't changed at all. Rachel is still Rachel, and Finn is still only slightly smarter then your average dog, but they love them anyway.
The entire time, Mercedes is desperately fighting the urge to tangle her fingers with Kurt's, but contents herself with the friendly way they've linked their arms for years. After a bit though, she feels his pinkie link around hers, and she can barely contain her joy. Tina is the only one who notices, and Mercedes uses her eyes to promise her she'll tell her everything later.
Eventually, it's getting late and people have to get on the road to make it to their destinations, and the group begins to break up with promises to stay in touch. Kurt and Mercedes get into her car and head for the Holiday Inn where they're staying. And Mercedes has never been happier that something isn't awkward.
By the time they reach the rooms they have on the second floor, she's nearly giddy with anticipation, but she wants him to be the one to say or do something first, because if she read it wrong and it is awkward, Mercedes wants to rectify it ASAP.
But before she can get too nervous, he pushes away from where he was leaning against the wall and cups her face in his large hands before he kisses her. As soon as his lips touch hers, she can't believe that she was ever nervous that the first kiss was a fluke. This is right. This is perfect.
Eventually, they break apart and Mercedes works to control her breathing, but can't stop the giant grin that's splitting her face in half.
"I'll see you tomorrow."
"Long drive ahead of us."
"It'll be fun," he said, and she had to hug him as she laughed.
"Good night," he said, giving her one more heart-stopping kiss before he disappeared into his room.
Once inside, she quickly changes into her pajamas and crawls into her bed, unable to decide if she's too happy to be tired, or if the happiness is just obliterating all other feelings at this moment.
She had believed she was in love with Kurt Hummel for years now, since one day a few weeks after she met him that he had threatened to slap her if she ever called herself fat again and then flashed that dazzling sad smile at her. But now, she's knows that it really was love, not just a desperate need to have someone totally appreciate her, or the need to cling to the person who did that. A lot about the present is uncertain, because it probably won't be, but it might be awkward in the morning. The drive could be ruined by this kiss. But she doesn't think so.
Mercedes Jones is only sure of two things in her life right now: that she's glad Kurt Hummel finally kissed her, and that the clean, fresh scent that radiates off of him is happiness.
So, I'm actually pretty happy with this fic. It was different then the Kurt one, simply because Mercedes has a lot of different feelings about Kurt kissing her, while Kurt just generally feels like he doesn't want it to happen. Also, I'm just less comfortable with Mercedes voice, but I think I managed to get it in this fic. You know how you could tell me? In a review!
Also, I have two ideas for Glee fic, and I wanted to ask you lovely people which one you would prefer I write first:
Option 1: Five Times Kurt Hummel Got Punched and Two Times He Did the Punching: Involves Kurt getting punched a lot, and protective!Kurt, being all protective of Quinn, Mercedes, and Rachel and punching people in the face because of it. Very Kurt-centric, with undertones of Kurt/Mercedes and Kurt/Quinn friendship.
Option 2: Kurt/Quinn friendship fic with help from Mercedes, starring The Eagles, mechanic!Kurt, helpful!Kurt and the ladies of Glee discussing where the boys in the group rank.
The quicker you let me know, the quicker I can start writing. And this author's note is entirely too long. Apologies.