Well, I've yet again decided to restart this fic, but not in the normal way. I'm using everything that was written before, but having it done over by a beta - anitarealitycheck - and adding a whole lot to what was originally there to help further later plot. So for now, future chapters will be postponed until further notice, but do not fear, things will start back up again in no time! I wouldn't dream of letting this fic go, when I have so many later chapters already written, lol.
I'm unsure of how many of you can actually review my reposts due to not being able to review a chapter twice, but those of you who can, please do! For those of you who can't, feel free to private message me if you'd like!
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CHAPTER 1
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The darkened sky only made the dreadful mood seem ever the more gloomy. Rain trickled down from the sky, not so much that you were getting drenched, but enough to warrant umbrellas and another source of irritation for the day. Matching the weather and the mood around, all were dressed in black as the care taker droned on and on in front of the large crowd.
Tohma couldn't help but stare at the casket being lowered into the ground. Its future was only that of being another gleaming white headstone among the others stretching out across the field. He turned his attention to the man at his side who hadn't spoken a word in hours, days, if nods and grunts weren't considered language. He was doubtful that any condolence he could give would pull his friend out of his depressed state.
He couldn't blame him in the slightest.
He'd been there before…losing his mother. It was not an event one was able to overcome easily. He'd been so very young when it had happened, but even so, he remembered the event vividly. He only remembered due to being at such an impressionable age.
Noriko stood on the other side, makeup smeared from the tears that still flowed freely from her eyes. They'd both known Shinya's mother well, she had been a very kind woman and it was a loss for all three of them when she had passed.
The casket lowered to its destined depth with a sharp click, and Shinya visibly flinched but his shoulders stayed tense thereafter.
They accompanied Shinya home, where he shuffled through the door incoherently towards the kitchen. Tohma and Noriko watched him from the door way, and witnessed him suddenly change course and veer towards the bathroom. Noriko gasped, and Tohma quickly ran in after him. Shinya collapsed in front of the porcelain basin and nearly threw his head in as he retched violently. Tohma held his long jet black hair back out of his face.
The man panted and washed his mouth out, letting Tohma walk him over to the couch where he placed his head between his knees. Noriko appeared at this side and slipped a beer can into a limp hand.
"Drink…it'll help you sleep Shin…" She murmured.
He chugged the can down greedily and Tohma winced. He himself had never been one for holding his liquor, and while Shinya was more than capable, in his exhausted state he was sure the man would be hit hard by it.
"Shin… you shouldn't..." Tohma murmured, resting a hand on the man's shoulder.
An awkward silence followed, and continued for several minutes before Shinya shattered the calm.
"I'm quitting the band." Shinya rasped.
Tohma froze, and Noriko's eyes widened, new tears escaping them.
"But…but why! Why would you want to stop doing the one thing you love? The only thing still going good for you right now?" The blonde gasped, as a sharp jab to the ribs followed, courtesy of the brunette at his side.
Shinya raised his head and gazed at them sadly, shaking his head.
"It's… not that I truly want to, but I see there being no other choice. I'll have to pick up more hours… My brothers are with their aunt at the moment, until I can get things settled, but that's not permanent, nor would I ever ask it to be. I have to support them now... As much as I want to drink myself away and morn myself to death, I have to be strong for them. They don't have either parent now; I'm all they've got." He sighed, and whipped the can across the room, hitting the walk with a metallic thump. "It's hardest for them, having just lost our father last year. It's true… I'm giving up my dream, and I'm sure I'll always regret this decision, but this is something I have to do."
"Shin…"Noriko whined in sympathy, but seemed unable to voice herself after.
Tohma stared at the ground.
In all honesty, there was nothing they could do. Shinya was doing the proper thing, no matter how much it hurt. Once Shinya's mind was made up, it was made up. That's how it had always been. The future of Nittle Grasper hung on by mere threads, and it would be up to him to save it, no matter the cost.
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Tohma flinched as a loud ringing filled his ears, courtesy of the alarm clock at the side of his bed. He glared at the annoyance in hatred, as though it was a hated enemy of his... and truth be told, it was...
Tohma had always had trouble sleeping, insomnia you may call it, and such things as the alarm clock were considered necessary, but evil...
He groaned, and lay there silently.
The previous day seemed like only a blur, a fleeting memory. He recalled the funeral, recalled trying to console Shinya, but could only really focus on the fact that his best friend had done the unthinkable. He had quit the band, their pride and passion. It was as if the world was crashing down around him. The band was his only sense of a normal life. Although Nittle Grasper had only been created two short years ago, it had already become the sole motivation for putting up with reality. Had it not been for the band, life would have quickly become drab.
The pressure that his father put on him was overbearing, and although he loved his step mother dearly, she was never fully on his side. He had to admit, choosing sides when it's your husband, and your step son involved was difficult. She had her own child to worry about as well. Being destined as the next head of the Seguchi family was not something he enjoyed. He'd have much rather been the second child, free to do as he pleased so long as he remembered to never dishonor his namesake, but alas that was not meant to be.
He'd known Shinya for years, his father having been good friends with his own. The family had money, not nearly as much as his own, but that entitled them their respect. Shinya was two years older than him... they'd gone to school together throughout the years, separated for only short periods of time. They'd been best friends as far back as he could remember.
When Shinya had been nearing the end of high school, they'd decided to take their spare time and do something worthwhile. He had always been good with a piano. He'd taken to it almost naturally as a young child. His mother had hired an instructor early on. Throughout his schooling, he'd won several competitions. Shinya had decided that it was best to play to their strengths, and thus Nittle Grasper went underway. With piano as his talent, Tohma began to experiment, even going as far as to adopt an old keyboard, moving on from the classical sounds of the grand piano to something far more synthetic.
Shinya, on the other hand, revealed a talent not yet seen by the blonde... singing.
Shinya had never looked the talkative type, and he'd surprised their teachers time after time, by being one of the most talkative students. Perhaps it shouldn't have surprised Tohma so much that he could put his wind pipes and lung power to better use.
After some time, Tohma had purchased a synthesizer to accompany his keyboard, and soon, he'd mastered both new additions. As the school year came to a close, Tohma and Shinya continued to develop their music, and started writing their first songs.
When Tohma had returned to school the following semester, the band became something strictly for weekends, and infrequent after school practices. Although this time had strained the band, they'd still kept working hard. It was this year, which they had met their final addition to the band, or rather Tohma had.
Noriko Tokai was a transfer student, a first year. The school had always been a private academy, made up of the children of business men, and big names. Most of the attending students had known each other, and one another's families their whole lives, and if not, their entire education. At times, the odd ball appeared, having just moved in from another country, but they were still big names.
Noriko was the exception.
Noriko's family had recently moved into the area from the Akita prefecture. Her father had only recently come into money, a well-developed idea hitting it big with the public. New money, they called it. She stepped onto the school grounds, and was immediately the talk of the academy.
She was smart, very smart... and beautiful, to say the least. She was unrefined, greatly so. She spoke improper, used slang to its full potential. Her hair was fair, a lighter brown than the norm, and her eyes were a deep blue. To be honest, very few of the attending students had foreign blood, and in most, it came directly from a parent, rather than generations past. For the new girl, an outsider, this only made her stand out more.
He'd never been able to pin point what had drawn him to her... perhaps it had been because she was an outsider like himself? Growing up with fair skin, blonde hair, and sapphire eyes had never been easy, and had it not been for his name, he would of had problems. It was true that the academy had several mixed students, but seldom were they as different as him. There were those that were Chinese, Korean, even Vietnamese... there were several students that had come from parents of Japanese/Russian decent... but Tohma had always been outside the norm, the only blonde, the only one who truly looked different.
His father had always viewed the Europeans as exotic... he was attracted to their ways, their decor, and their women... His mother had been French, a business man's daughter. They had had him early in life, and she'd passed away when he'd barely turned four. Car accident... she had never fully recovered. His father had almost immediately remarried... his true mother's cousin. He would likely never know if the man had simply been fond of both women at the same time, or if he had just looked for a replacement for him... so he could be raised by two parents. The irony was his mother's cousin look so much like him, that no one dared question it. People assumed that she was his real mother, and no one corrected them.
He'd accepted this new mother with open arms, still did. Even if she wasn't truly his mother, she was the closest thing he'd have in his biological mothers place.
But regardless of how or why, he and Noriko had hit it off immediately, and the girl seemed more than pleased to be his new friend. Despite their differences, not only in status and looks, but in age, they quickly became inseparable.
Tohma smiled weakly as the memories flooding back, but kept his eyes squeezed shut.
Noriko had come to his school, never even dreaming that she would have the talent he'd seen. At first, she'd simply been curious about the instruments, but after having her toy around with the piano, he had seen just how much of a natural she was...and then the lessons started.
Shortly after, he'd introduced Noriko to Shinya, and thus, Nittle Grasper was completed.
In no time at all, Noriko was beating out music nearly as well as he himself, and they'd written several songs together. In just two years, they had managed to create their own happiness... they had played several shows, and became popular with their peers, for reasons other than money, or family names.
It was amazing that a few short days, two years of hard work were seemingly erased.
He shook his head and tried to push the depressing thoughts into the back of his head. There was no need to dwell on things his morning mind couldn't handle and understand fully.
It was only seven in the morning, and more sleep after the depressing, tear filled night would have been beneficial for him, but Noriko, being the deepest sleeper in the world, had demanded the previous night that he spend the day with her, the ENTIRE day, to get his mind off of the problems at hand... and unfortunately for him, Noriko had always been very fortunate, and was known to be fully rested and functional at the crack of dawn.
Much to his displeasure.
He sighed in defeat as he lay against his pillows. With a regretful groan, he slid his feet out from under the warm covers onto the cold wooden floor. He shivered unconsciously and gripping the wall, he shuffled into the bathroom to take a shower, and ready himself for the day.
The hot water rained down his face and exhausted body, massaging him and drenching his shaggy platinum hair, slicking it to his pale face. However, just as he began lathering the shampoo into his hair, a loud booming arose, and he tried desperately to pretend the sudden pounding at the front door did not indeed exist.
Noriko could wait.
If the girl could come over, demanding him to get up and out of the house on only two or so hours of sleep, she could sit and wait as long as he pleased. With a sigh, he slid his conditioner filled hands through his hair, taking in the last few fleeting moments of soothing water. He rinsed, and put off the inevitable no longer. He groaned loudly as the pounding grew louder, and he slid out of the privacy of the bathroom, a sheet of steam escaping through the opened door with him. He had been trying to ignore the indecent racket for the past few minutes, but Noriko clearly wasn't going to give up on being let in.
He began to towel dry his hair as he walked to his dresser.
Truthfully, he didn't feel like going anywhere with Noriko... He really just wanted to go back to sleep, and forget about all plans. He was still exhausted from such little sleep, and Shinya abandoning them (he had to force himself to remember the man had no choice)... and if all of the wasn't reason enough, he still had Mika to deal with.
Despite having been dating for years, they were still on and off, and they had gotten into a fight with one another, again, over the phone, again, two weeks ago...and she had yet again, broken up with him.
He was drained, and too worried about life to concentrate on simple things.
"How long will it be this time? Last time she held out for a month..." he grumbled, drifting off into thoughts of his stubborn, currently EX-girlfriend.
He wasn't really worried, this happened every few months or so and it was nearly routine by now. It wouldn't matter in the end. Their parents already wanted them to get married. Demanded it really... and families being traditional, if they tried to leave each other for good, they'd force it under the clause of an arrange marriage. It was easier not to fight it; after all, they loved each other, right?
He sighed and quickly threw his neatly pressed clothes on before tossing himself down upon his bed once more. He wrapped his arms around his pillow and rested his head on it, burying his face in the plushness.
Life was beginning to be one big head ache.
He frowned and crinkled his brow, the frustration of the lack of productivity of his life running through his head once again.
"If you keep doing that you're likely to get frown lines before you're thirty." Noriko huffed, glaring down at him.
Evidently. She had learned, rather suddenly, how to pick locks.
"Great, more bad news... Just don't rob anyone for the thrill of it please, you delinquent." he muttered, shaking his head. "Be lucky you don't rub off on me, I couldn't handle your bad habits..." He smiled up at her weakly.
She smirked, dismissing his comment.
"It's alright to be frustrated, but you should keep focused... We'll never find someone new if we're sitting on our asses at our apartments doing nothing. You have to be patient. We'll find the right person to replace Shin in time, and we'll eventually come to love him just as much. There's bound to be somebody out there that isn't self-centered and money craved that'll do it for the music like Shinya had, but for now, at least blow off some steam and have some fun!" She chuckled, watching in amusement as he glared at her.
"I know that! I just have a lot on my mind right now, that's all... You shouldn't be so worried about me, and worry more about yourself. At least I have something to fall back on if the band never comes together again, you however, do not... I don't exactly see you working for your father. You should be the one worrying. Me? I'll be fine and happy when I'm not on a new wild goose chase and dealing with an angry Mika." He groaned, leaning back into the soft covers of the bed.
Noriko giggled, and shook her head.
"Is that so Tohma? Let me guess, you and Mika went at it again and you two split like always?" She grinned, raising her eyebrow. "I'll take your silence as a yes. When? And why didn't you tell me? Why didn't SHE tell me? Do you two ALWAYS have to be so secretive?" She grumbled, sitting down beside him.
You'd think she'd be more sympathetic.
"Yeah, well... you over react. My real concern is Nittle Grasper... I've worked too hard to give up on it now, but everything seems so against me... It just... gets to me. You know? And there's nothing I can do for Shinya, and I know it's not his fault." He smiled at Noriko sadly.
She nodded and hugged him tightly.
"Yeah, I know. I'm in the same boat as you, remember? Nittle Grasper was the three of us before Shinya quit. Now it's just the two of us... I've never experienced that. We're in this together now Tohma. Now, on a brighter note, let's get some breakfast, then do a few hours' worth of shopping and searching, and then you can do what you want... I've been wanting some quality time with you for a while now, and I'm not missing my chance by sitting on a bed with you sulking." She laughed, leaping from the bed.
He only had a few moments to prepare himself before she was yanking him to his feet.
"Noriko! Please!" He yelped, rubbing his shoulder with his free hand.
She only laughed, grabbing his wallet off of the counter, and dragged him out the door into the outside world.
"Sorry Tohma, you haven't got a choice my friend..."
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Please let me know what you think!
Chapter 2 will be replaced shortly, as soon as possible, never fear!