Three Girls and a Moose
She rubs her thigh in between my legs, making me gasp in response. "Do you like that?" She asks. I can only nod mutely as she holds my hands hostage above my head. Her lips meet mine with a ferocity I just can't resist. I automatically kiss back. She tastes like… mmmm, black coffee mixed with a hint of vanilla. I love this taste. It makes me feel important. She wears this taste only for me.
Her skillful tongue penetrates my lips and enters my mouth. Suddenly, my world turns into a battlefield. It's tongue against tongue. I give up quickly, unable to fight her anymore. She wins the battle. The soft, muscle probes my mouth and holy fucking hell it tastes amazing. Something about her makes me go weak at the knees and give into her seductions.
I continue to grind against her thigh. I'm embarrassingly wet but my need outweighs my humility. Anyways, Jade seems to think that whenever I'm mortified or feeling awkward it just makes it so much better I'm willing to do almost anything to keep Jade happy.
Suddenly I feel warmth encompass your breasts and I can't even think anymore. The only words beating through my head are Jade, more. Jade, more. She slowly takes off my bra and I can't resist anymore. My hands, which she's no longer holding so that she can massage both of my breasts, go down to run through her hair. Instantly she stops groping me, pulls her thigh away, and I'm left grinding down on nothing but air. You need friction. "Jade," I whine.
"No, you don't get to touch me," said Jade. She smiles wickedly.
"Jade," I continue to complain.
"No!" she smiles a sick, twisted smile that just turns me on even more. "Now, beg me to come back to you."
I stand up, resisting the giant throb down below. I can do this. I can stop this. She doesn't own me like a piece of meat. I can still keep my dignity intact. I'm not just her broken toy that bends to her will. Yet, I find myself saying the broken words, "Please Jade."
"Please what?" Her eyebrows go up, wickedly.
"Please…" I'm hesitant to say the word. I hate swearing. I mean, really think it's genuinely filthy. I wasn't raised in the ghetto and I know how to speak properly. I mean, yeah I swore when I was so close that I couldn't even control what I was saying, but right now. If I say it now, I'll just feel so dirty. "No, I won't say it," I reply adamantly.
"Oh?" Jade grabs the handle on her bedroom door and opens it. I watch just as she's about to click-clack away on her heels. I know that as soon as she takes one step out of our secret, little place that it'll be over. The romantic, sexy, totally into me Jade will be gone and we will go back to our little façade. She'll go back to fake-hating me and I'll go back to trying to be friends with her. I can't let that happen. I can't just loose her again like that, not when I have a choice.
"Wait," I say. She stops and she pulls her foot back. She doesn't turn around. She doesn't say another word. She just stops and waits for me to say it. I know I have a limited amount of time before she just keeps walking away anyways. So I say it. I say the vulgar words that I know she wants to hear. "Jade, please fuck me."
She turns around slowly, sexily. I can't help but lick my lips and imagine her turning around like that, naked. Another rush of wetness comes. "I thought you'd never ask." A wicked grin lights her face and in a flash she's before my eyes. She pushes me back onto her bed. Her right hand has traveled down to my center and she's rubbing it through my underwear. I can't even explain how amazing it felt. I keep my hands up and away from her, even though I desperately want to run my fingers through her soft, black mane and then fondle her D-Cup breasts, but I don't. I resist. I stop myself.
"J-J-Jade," I moan out.
"Do you like that?" Jade asks, rubbing harder. I hum a yes. "Do you like this?" I'm about to ask what, but then she rips away my jeans and my panties all at the same time and I know what she was talking about.
"Do you like this?" she asks again, more forceful this time. Her fingers play with my clit as another one teases my center. I only nod my head; unable to make any plausible words come out. "Answer me with words!"
I try, but all that comes out is, "Ye-ohhhh!"
She pulls away. "Answer me," she says angrily.
"Y-Yes," I finally breathe out, astounded by the lack of Jade.
"Good." She goes back to teasing me with one hand and groping my breasts with the other. Slowly her mouth goes and teases my nipple.
"Yeeeesss!" She bites down and I can't resist screaming out so loud that the people in Texas could probably hear.
"Jade, stop teasing," I demand.
She gives me an innocent, toddler-like looks that disturbingly reminds me of Cat. "What ever do you mean?" She asks in her 'Tori' voice. Is it so wrong that I find myself such a turn-on?
"You know what I man," I growl.
"I'm afraid I don't," she teases. "You're going to have to tell me exactly what you mean."
"I want you to stick your goddamn fist into my tight little cunt and make me cum!" I yell.
"With pleasure," she replies evilly. Suddenly a pain enthralls my body and I feel like I can't stand. Then I get used to it and Jade starts pumping her entire fist in and out of me. It feels so amazing, too much for words. My brain goes numb and I don't even know what I'm saying anymore. I vaguely recognize the words, "Harder. Faster. Jade. Yes." However, I'm still not quite sure I'm saying them. Still, I look down at Jade's sexy expression as she stares at me and I know I'm doing something right.
Suddenly, the feeling of her fist is gone and she goes down. The sight of her head between my legs almost makes me come right then and there. "You're so wet," she mutters. She licks off each of her fingers, lathered with your pre-cum, and god I didn't know it was possible to be this turned on. The warm wet feeling of her tongue comes up and meets my sex and I know that it'll only be a little longer until I cum. She slowly sticks her tongue in, searching for my G-Spot. It feels amazing and I can't help but start bucking my hips to the rhythm. Suddenly, you feel it. She's found it.
"Jade, I'm going to cum," I say breathily.
"Good baby," she says. Her tongue keeps thrusting into me and her fingers come up to play with my clit. That's my breaking point. I feel it. A powerful orgasm overcomes me and I scream out from all the pleasure. I close your eyes, the feeling of perfection too overwhelming. She keeps thrusting into me and even though I can't see it you know she's devouring every last drop of my love for her. The thought makes me so worked up that I wonder if it's possible to cum twice in a row, one right after the other. After a good three minutes I finally ride my orgasm out as Jade thrusts into me one last time.
I instantly start crawling over Jade, who is unfairly still completely clothed. "I think it's time that I pleasure you babe."
She pushes me away, which instantly worries me. Seeing the fear in my face she reassures me, "Not right now. It's not that I don't want you, I really do, but you're all sweaty and I just want today to be about you." I nod happily. Jade always did have a sweat phobia.
After a few minutes where we both cool down, just lying on her black sheets, I say, "That was amazing."
"Sure was, babe." She gives me a peck on the cheek and I love it. I forget how impermanent this feeling will be, and how as soon as she kicks me out later that I'll go back to bed, heartbroken. All I care about is the feeling of her next to me.
"I… I really like us… like this, together," I say.
"So do I," she laces her fingers with mine and I swear that we're like two puzzle pieces, destined to fit together. Her hand just fit with mine so… absolutely perfectly. She kisses me softly on the temple. Even though she's more into cruel, begging sex any other time when we're alone in our private world together she's quite possibly more romantic than Noah from the Notebook.
I cuddle against her. Even though I'm all gross and sweaty she still cautiously embraces me in her arms and we snuggle under the covers. She's the big spoon and I'm the little one. Her arm is draped around my waist and she's softly kissing my neck. It's quite possibly my favorite time of the day. Right after we've had sex and I've just experienced the best pleasure of my life, we cuddle and she holds me and I get to pretend it's just us. The world isn't yelling at us to conform to society, shouting at us to stop being lesbians. The pressures of what people will think aren't there anymore. It's just Jade and I against the world and nothing could ever mess it up. I think that feeling is the reason I say this, "Do you think that we could ever… tell everyone?"
Jade instantly moves her arm from around my waist and I regret my daring words. Our agreement is that we're secret. We can be as in-love with each other as we want, but we can't show it. We can go out on dates and hold hands and make out in front of people, as long as we're not in Hollywood. People can't know that we're together. Jade was afraid of the labels she'd get once she admitted to be a lesbian, and I admit, I was a little afraid too. So that was our agreement. We kept our relationship secret, and as long as it remained just between us everything was fine. "Tori, you know why we can't do that," says Jade, exasperated.
"I know, I know," I say. "I was just hoping…"
"What? Hoping what?" Jade shrieks at me and I cringe. I hate it when she's like this. When she's mad and angry and most of all, scared. "That as soon as we walk in together, making kissy faces and being in love that people won't judge us on the spot? That people won't start instantly labeling us?"
"I'm sorry," I say cowardly. I love Jade. I don't want to upset her… but I also don't want to give up my happiness for hers.
"Yeah, you should be!" I let my eyes drop sullenly.
"It's just…"
"Just what?" She has her hand on her hip and her gaze challenges me to say my all-too-optimistic thoughts.
"I don't even know if you love me," I whisper. I'm not even sure she hears. I look down at my feet, refusing to look at her. Two arms instantly wrap around my waist.
"Oh God Tori, don't you know that I love you?" She kisses me softly. "I love you more than the whole goddamn world."
I pull away from the comfort of her arms that I know will make me give into her sweet promises. "How do I know that?" I ask softly. "How do I know that you're not ashamed of me or something? How do I know that all I am to you is another fuck buddy?" Jade looks at me, aghast. Then again, Jade's probably the best actress on the West Coast, so whether or not she looks aghast means nothing.
"Is that really what you think?" She asks.
I look down dumbly at my feet. "I don't know…maybe."
"Tori, I love you with all of my being. I'd do anything for you. You're not just another great lay."
I look her straight in the eye. I know that territory may get dangerous as soon as I ask, but I have to. I can't keep going on like this. It's not living. It may not even be love. Love is shiny rings and flowers and kisses in the hallway, not closed doors and secretly playing footsie under the table because that's the most you can do without people getting suspicious. "If you would do anything for me, then why won't you tell people about us?"
A defeated look appears on Jade's face. "Tori…" She looks for the right words to respond with. "It's just… all the looks, and the stares, and the fingers. I don't know if I could handle it. That's one of the reasons H.A was such a godsend. You told me about the people picking on you at Sherwood for being gay, how every day felt like a battle for why you should even live or die!"
"That was after Heather broke up with me," I say. "As long as we have each other, it doesn't matter." I'm practically begging on my knees at this point. "All those fingers and stares and rumors, I can survive as long as you're by my side."
It takes awhile before Jade responds. "I know you can survive. You're strong. You came out to your entire school. It's me… I'm not sure I can survive."
I look at her with pity and love and the wish that I could help her believe in herself, in her strength, like I do. "I know that I'm asking a lot. I don't expect you to come out all at once, although that'd be nice. I just want you to come out to someone, even if it's just to a fucking stuffed animal, because she you love me enough to do that for me. Even if it takes five years to come out to the world I just want you to put your faith in me, trust and love me enough so that you'll at least try." She just stands there, ashamed, and says nothing. That's what sucks. She doesn't say anything, she doesn't even try to complete my simple wish.
"If that's how you feel than I guess that I over-romanticized our relationship. If you're not even willing to come out to a fucking stuffed animal than I don't think I want anything to do with you," I say. Disgust and anger fills my voice.
I start to walk away but she calls me back, "Tori!" Her eyes are saddened and look like they've got the weight of the world on them.
"What?" I ask tiredly. I'm tired of all her games and tired of all this secrecy and the fact that I don't even know if she loves me even though I know that I'd catch a grenade for her any day.
"I'll… come out to Ralph," she says, motioning to one of her few stuffed animals. It's not her favorite though. It's one that fucking Robbie got her.
"No," I say. "That's not good enough. I want you to come out to Bunsy." Bunsy, her stuffed rabbit she's had since she was a kid, is probably her most cherished childhood possession.
A look of horror crosses her expression. She looks down at her feet and nervously asks, "Can't I come out to someone… easier?"
I roll my eyes. "God Jade! It's a stuffed animal! If you can't even come out to a fucking stuffed animal than we're not going to work." I start to stomp out of the room but Jade's hand catches my arm.
"Tori… don't leave," she says weakly. I know that if I turn around I'll give in. I'll forgive her and we'll go back to cuddling in bed, swaddled in all of our secrets until we eventually suffocate. I can't let that happen. So I take a deep breath and I pull away. I pull away from the girl that I've loved for the last two years. And I walk away.