SPOILERS ALERT DONT READ IF YOU HAVEN'T WATCHED THE NEW MOVIE! Alright! So this story has been playing in my mind ever since I went and saw the new movie. I loved it, it was amazing! I also learned how nerdy I am while writing out this fanfic because without realizing it, I started writing star trek fanfiction while whistling the imperial march... weird, I know.
Okay so, there will be some kirk angst and feminine qualities, I'm trying to stick as much to Spock's personality as possible for the story. I can not write Scottish or English very well, so just uh... add the accent in your head, ill try my best (anime tear drop).
WARNING: High violence later on, rape, bondage, possible gore! I'm really expanding my comfort zone with this one guys so, if you aren't comfortable, but you like the story, send me a pm and I can let you know which chapters to avoid and just fill you in on the important stuff.
OKAY ENOUGH RAMBLING ON MY PART
I DO NOT OWN STAR TREK OR THE CHARACTERS (As much as I wish I owned Spock and he was mine, aaaaall mine, come on people, who wouldn't wish that?)
All chapter's will be named after a song that inspired them, so I encourage you to listen to a song while reading the chapter!
Chapter One
The first thing my mind registered was an annoying beeping somewhere to my right. It was loud but the steadiness of the beats made me realize it was a heart monitor. Hospital. I was in a hospital. I blinked my eyes and looked around until they landed on Bones, who looked relieved.
"Welcome back, Captain." He said with a smile. What… Happened?
A flash came to mind, Spock actually crying. A strong feeling of fear as my hand went up to the glass and mirrored his. Love, so much love for the man that never showed emotion, but was crying for me. Triumph for saving my crew, no matter what, even if it cost me my life.
"How long have I been out?" I managed to say, taking the glass of water Bones offered and chugging it down. The cold felt so good on my parched throat. I saw movement behind Bones and locked eyes with Spock, who quickly averted his gaze.
"Two weeks, Jim. What do you remember?"
"Did I fucking die?" I cried out, eyes going wide. I might be going nuts, but I'm pretty sure Spock just flinched.
"Yeah, you did. But we managed to make a serum from Khan's blood and bring you back to life before your body fully shut down." Bones explained, looking nervous. "You aren't having any homicidal thoughts, are you?"
"No more than usual." I joked, cracking a smile.
"Perhaps we should let the Captain rest, Doctor." Spock said. He wouldn't meet my eye and I was pretty sure it was due to the lapse of control he had when I… When I died.
"And are you a bloody Doctor, you pointy eared hobgoblin?" Bones snapped, turning to glare at Spock.
"Of course not, you know very well that I am-."
"Ladies, do you mind, I have a headache!" I said, interrupting them before they could really start. Though I must applaud Spock for letting the insult fly. He met my eyes for a second before turning around and leaving the room.
"That green eared menace practically slept here the entire two weeks! Hell I have a few pictures of him either asleep in a chair beside you or sleeping with his head on the bed holding your damn hand! He barely even left to eat." I blinked, staring at the door that he just left through, my heart skipping a beat when I thought of him holding my hand. More embarrassing was the fact that, because of the heart monitor, Bones heard it.
"Well, well. And here I thought you were only in to chicks." He remarked, chuckling to himself as he put a device to my neck.
"Don't tell a single fucking person." I growled, glaring up at him. He smirked, taking the device away and righting something down.
"Why, are yah worried that it might damage your reputation Jimbo?" He said dryly.
"No, I'm worried my best friend will stop talking to me if he finds out I love him." I said weakly, not meaning to actually say it out loud. Bones froze for a second, then sighed and patted my shoulder.
"You're looking good, but I'll keep you overnight for observation and let you go in the morning if you're still clear." He muttered. I really didn't want to stay another second but I just nodded and he turned, walking to the door. He paused, seeming to debate on something.
"Spit it out, Bones." I said, rolling my eyes.
"He loves you too, you know." He whispered, almost so quietly that I didn't hear. "I didn't think it would really matter, but him and Uhura broke up. Have a good night." And with that he walked out the door.
I closed my eyes and groaned, not sure what the hell to think, this was all too much to take in. I sighed and tried to relax and within minutes I was asleep once more.
I awoke to a loud crash beside me, my eyes flying open to land on the young Vulcan splayed out on the floor beside me. The chair's leg was unattached and on its side and Spock had a look of pure shock on his face. His eyes were so wide that I couldn't help but start laughing. His eyes met mine with amusement and my laughter died down to a smile.
"I apologize Captain. I didn't mean to wake you. I leaned forward and the chair broke." He explained, getting to his feet. "I'll leave and let you rest."
Before he could go I grabbed his wrist and he froze, not even turning around.
"Please stay. I… I need some company." I muttered weakly, looking down for a moment. I hated feeling so hopeless and pathetic.
"You need your rest Cap-."
"What I need is for you to stay and talk to me Spock." I said, cutting him off. Finally he turned and looked me in the eyes before looking at the broken chair behind him.
"Shall I stand instead Captain?" He asked, returning his eyes to mine. I reluctantly dropped his wrist and winced as I moved over in the fairly large bed. He looked at me with confusion until I patted the mattress and he hesitantly sat down with his back to me.
"Spock. Lay down beside me so I can see your god damn face." I grumbled, pulling on his arm. He laid down, ram rod straight and squished so he wasn't touching me. Just one look and I knew that must be rather uncomfortable, not that he would ever say so.
"What would you like to talk about, Captain?" He said formally. Images of kissing him so he couldn't talk at all came to my mind and I had to force myself not to blush.
"For one, we are off duty so stop calling me Captain." I said, rolling my eyes.
"Okay... Jim." He said hesitantly.
"Second, you should relax. You're allowed to touch me, it's not like I'm going to bite you." I said, smiling as he finally relaxed, his arm slightly pressed against mine. "Unless you want me to." His cheeks flushed a slight green and I couldn't help but chuckle.
"It would be highly illogical to want you to bite me. Such an action would cause pain." He muttered.
"Oh loosen up." I said, laughing.
"I do not know what you mean by that Cap- Jim." He said, catching himself. We were silent for a bit before I coughed slightly, my throat still slightly dry.
"So... what happened with Uhura?" I asked, nearly groaning when I realized what I blurted out.
"I do not wish to discuss that but if you must know, it was mutual because I have feelings for... someone else." He said, obviously uncomfortable talking to me about it. Without thinking, I slipped my hand in to his and to my surprise he returned my grip, holding my hand tightly.
"Listen... if you... want some advice on how to... get together with the person you like, I'll help however I can." I said, trying not to sound as reluctant as I felt. No matter my feelings for him, I want him happy.
"Thank you." He whispered. We were silent again and I felt his thumb start rubbing softly against my skin. I started to yawn, trying not to let Spock see.
"I should let you rest now." He said, loosening his grip on my hand. I gripped it tighter and he turned to look at me.
"Will you stay until I fall asleep please?" Truth is, I was afraid I wouldn't wake up again.
"If you don't wake up I don't want to either." He whispered. I looked up at him and blinked in surprise as his cheeks flushed once again. He had read my thought, and then practically said he would die without me…
"I'm sorry." I whispered, realizing how hard it must have been to watch me die. His breath hitched and I fought against thoughts of those lips.
"When you... died... I broke down. Chased after khan and beat him until Uhura told me you could be brought back with his blood." He admitted.
"I would have loved to see that." I said, smiling while I tried to roll on to my side. Spock's hand let go of mine and latched around my waist to help me but I tried to boost myself slightly at the same time and let out an unattractive squeak when I landed half on his chest.
"Sorry." I muttered. Before I could pull away, his arms wrapped around me and held me close and tight enough that I couldn't even think of moving.
"I can show you my memory... if you would like." He whispered, placing his hands on what I assume were my meld points.
"Please." I wasn't prepared for the onslaught of images that burst in to my mind along with the rage. My rage mingled with every hit that khan landed on Spock until I broke the bond and forced my lips on to his. He froze for only for a second before his lips roughly pressed against mine, much to my surprise. His rough tongue forced its way in to my mouth as his hand gripped my face to his.
We both broke away to breath and I lay there panting, looking in to his eyes before softly kissing his lips once again.
"I love you." I whispered gently, curling up under his chin. It was out, it was in the open. His arms remained around me, but he said absolutely nothing in return. Did he kiss me out of instinct? Do Vulcan's even have that instinct? A single tear fell from my closed eyes before I allowed his scent and his body to put me to sleep.
Alright, so there's the first chapter, it will become more in depth, I'm trying to write chapters ahead, I'm already writing the fourth or fifth one right now. I'm going to publish chapters every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday because I know I have a problem with the dreaded writer's block. Review, rate, follow all that stuff and you can message me with any questions, comments, complaints or concerns :)