Author: Altricial (annabel@london.com)
Rating: PG
Pairing: Ron/Ginny
Category: Slight incest
Year: 1992 (Chamber of Secrets)
Dedicated to: Aspen for being my Ginny. Also, special thanks to durendal for beta-reading
Dear Ginny,
Have you heard? They said you died today, said that a monster took you away to some place I can't see and they said you died. Said that your skeleton will lie in the Chamber forever. Some said it is You-Know-Who that did it. I believed them at first, sort of, but only because You-Know-Who can be very scary. Percy told us all about the Dark Times in summer, remember? I wasn't listening to Mister Bighead, of course, but I can't really ignore his efforts at being the most boring man alive when he won't bloody shut up, can I? So yeah, I know about what You-Know-Who can do and how he likes to kill the ones people love most and you are- It was a convincing joke, really. Harry thought so, too, because he looked all upset about it. Now, don't you go having silly ideas about Harry again, he's just nice to everyone like that.
Lucky I figured out it was a joke fast or I'd have gotten mad and shouted at Dumbledore for nothing. I'd feel pretty silly losing house points over a joke, haha. It wasn't a very funny joke, though, I wonder who came up with it. It's almost like something that Malfoy git would think of, that good for nothing ferret fleabag. But I laughed anyway, just to be polite, you know? I hate it when people don't laugh at my jokes so I'll laugh at theirs so they'll shut up already. But McGonagall tried to send me to the hospital wing, said something about me being in shock! Can you believe her?! That woman is obviously barking mad, no sense of humour at all, honestly! I told her I was fine and that I know it was all a joke (for a Professor, she's not very bright, is she?) but she won't have any of that and shooed me straight off to see Madame Pomfrey. Bloody hell!
Have you ever tried convincing her that you're perfectly well? It's impossible, I tell you! I told her I didn't need any whatever she was trying to feed me because I needed to get back to the dorms to tell you this stupid joke because I know you'd find it funny, too. You love listening to my jokes, don't you, Gin? Sometimes I make up jokes during Divination and scribble them down so I'll remember to tell you during lunch. Good thing that old bat Trelawney is too blind to read over my shoulder, hah!
Where are you, Ginny? You're not in the dorm and no one will bloody tell me where you are. Hermione is still Petrified in the hospital wing and Harry is just not very good at getting jokes. Percy's eyes are all red, like how yours are like when you're being a big cry-baby, I really have no idea why. I hope he hasn't been crying or he'll be feeling even stupider than usual when he FINALLY figures out the joke with the rest of the bloody school. What is wrong with everyone today, now really!
Aha!
You're in on this dumb joke, aren't you! You'd better not be hiding somewhere doing that giggling thing, making me search the school for you, or you can forget about getting any more Sugar Quills when I'm at Hogsmeade next weekend, missy!
Oh hang on, are you at detention with Filch again? You need to stop roaming around the castle after your bed-time, Gin. No point getting caught by Filch and then having to sit around scrubbing sodding rusty medals for hours just because you can't sleep! I know it's not the same as back home, I can't really sleep well without tucking you in either. But well, we're at school now. Anyway, I'm writing you this so you can read it when you're back. Besides, you girls like receiving letters, don't you?
Good night, Ginny. And come back soon, so I can prove it to the rest of them (mental really, all of them) that it was nothing but a big, fat, unfunny joke.
P.S: Don't bother playing hide-and-seek with me, Gin, you know I'll find you, I always do!
Ron