Ichigo's Class 'How to act in the living world'
Lesson 1: How to open a juice box
Summary: Ichigo is asked by the Soul Society to teach a class to the different squad members on how to act like a human in the living world, like on how to dress, how to act around other humans, how to get items, how to put the straw in your juice box, important stuff like that.
It was a normal day in the Soul Society city of Seireitei, but instead of having the normal sight of Soul reapers, Lieutenants, and Captains walking around the Seireitei, they were all gathered in a classroom that was inside the Soul Reaper academy, confused as to the reason they were there in the first place. Byakuya was even present there, along with Rukia, who had been down on earth with Ichigo and suddenly requested by the Soul Society to return to the Academy for the next few days, then she could return to earth, but none of them were prepared for what happened next, as the door opened and the teacher walked into the room.
"Good morning, everyone" The teacher said, "for those of you who don't know me, my name is Ichigo Kurosaki and I'll be teaching you toda-"
"Is this some kind of joke?" Renji blurted out, "What the hell could you teach us?"
"More than you know, and don't act like I came here on my own choice" Ichigo said, "If I had my way, I'd be still asleep back home"
"then what are you doing here, Ichigo?" Hitsugaya asked
"well, The soul society contacted me a while back with a message, apparently none of you know how to act like a normal living person back in the human world, so they asked me to teach you all how to act like one" Ichigo said, "If there are anymore objections, please hold them back as I don't really care what you have to say, so let's just get this over with by starting with Lesson 1, Ganju, hand out the objects"
Ganju walks down the room with a pissed off look on his face, handing out the objects, which caused some of the shinigami to look at Ichigo with confusion, others with annoyance, while Rukia had a dreadful look on her face, as he looked at the object, which was a juice box.
"Alright everyone, this is the first lesson, opening a juice box" Ichigo said
"How the hell does this have to do with acting in the living world?" Renji asked
"Good question, if you go up to someone that is alive and tell them that you can't open your juice box" Ichigo said, "Chances are that they'll think you're a damn fool and if you ask too many times, will commit you to an insane asylum"
"Come on, you've got to be kidding me" Renji said, "Anyone could open one of these up"
"Okay then, let's get a volunteer to show us" Ichigo said, "How about Rukia?"
Rukia glared daggers at Ichigo, as she pulled the straw off of the juice box and began to get it ready to put in it, then as she closed her eyes and rose the straw up, she began to lower it down and with her eyes closed, felt it go through something and stop, as she opened her eyes and saw the straw in the juice box
"I did it!!" Rukia said, "I mean, That was too easy, Ichigo"
"Now everyone, if Rukia had been paying attention" Ichigo said, "She would've noticed that she put the straw into the wrong juice box"
Rukia turned her head to see the straw was in Renji's juice box, as he pulled it up and began to drink from it, so Rukia suddenly whipped the juice box at Ichigo, who caught it and set it down onto the table in front of him, before throwing Rukia another juice box.
"Everyone, if you were watching her demonstration, you should have seen that even though she put the straw in the wrong juice box, she put it in by pushing the straw against the silver covering on the juice box" Ichigo said, "Once everyone has put the straw into the juice box, then we'll begin with the second lesson"
The soul reapers that were sitting there in the classroom thought that this was pointless, but the sooner they got it done, the sooner they could leave and began to put the straws in the juice boxes, but they soon realized that they had the same problem that Rukia had a while back, that even some of the captains of the thirteen squads and their lieutenants couldn't open a juice box. Some of them got it done in a few seconds, while others took a few minutes or even half an hour to do so.
'Damn this juice box' Hitsugaya thought, annoyed before finally getting the straw in the juice box, 'finally'
The only one left that hadn't put their straw in was Byakuya, who was still pushing the straw down on the silver covering of the juice box and it wasn't going through, as everyone sweatdropped at this, before Byakuya suddenly set the juice box down onto the table and pulled out his Zanpakuto.
"Scatter" Byakuya said, "Senbonzakura"
Byakuya's Zanpakuto broke apart into the cherry blossoms and surrounded the juice box, before shreading it into little pieces and causing everyone to just stare at Byakuya, sweatdropping, until Ichigo came back to his senses and shakes his head.
"I guess we should move on to the next lesson" Ichigo said, rubbing the back of his forehead