Title: Cease Fire
Authors: The Confused One and Untapdtreasure
Rating: M
Summary: Post-Ep War at Home. Alex goes to Bobby after War at Home.
Pairing: Goren & Eames
Genre: Angst/Smut
Spoilers: Anything up to War at Home
Disclaimer: We own nothing
A/N: Thanks, Vicky, for the beta!
Alex had never seen him like that before and it had worried her. She needed to see him. She needed to talk to him, to make things right. After striking out at his place, there was only one other place she assumed he'd go. She had been relieved to find his car, but now she found herself pacing the beside it, nervous about what was going to happen when he came out of the hospital. She just hoped he didn't completely snub her.
He saw her before he reached the car, but she didn't see him. His eyes darkened. He wasn't in the mood to put up with her smart ass mouth. Not today. "What are you doing here?"
Hearing his voice, Alex turned to face him. She had expected his icy attitude. She tried to take charge. She would not let him see how worried she was. "Let's go for a drink, Bobby."
Bobby tried to step around her. "No, thanks. Why don't you go with one of your girlfriends if you want to go out for margaritas? I'm not really in the mood...for it."
That was it. Glaring at him, Alex smacked him hard across the face. She snapped, "Damn it, Bobby, I want to be here for you. I want to help."
His eyes darkened as he moved, pinning her against the door of his car. "You really want to help?" He put his hand up to block her escape as his other hand came to rest on her hip. He ignored the stinging on his cheek.
Swallowing hard, she met his eyes. She was no longer sure confronting him had been a good idea and she was positive she shouldn't have provoked him, shouldn't have slapped him. She wasn't afraid of him, but she was worried about his state of mind. Closing her eyes, she knew this was what she had been wanting. She loved him. She wanted to be with him, but she didn't want to ruin what they had. Even more than that, she didn't want him to regret it in the morning. She knew that would kill her. Hesitantly, she whispered, "Bobby..."
He moved his hand up to the nape of her neck and tangled his fingers into her hair. Tugging her head back, he lowered his body so that he could taste her neck just below her ear, slowly running his tongue to the hollow of her throat. Taking turns between sucking and biting, he whispered, "You taste good..." He growled as he slipped his other hand under shirt and drew her closer to him. His erection pressed firmly against her stomach through his jeans.
Alex's breathing became shallow. She knew she should stop this. She needed to be the one in control. If he woke up in the morning regretting this, it would be her fault. She needed to say something or do something to make him stop, but she couldn't seem to make her voice work. Closing her eyes, a shiver went down her spine as he made his way up her shirt. She instinctively wrapped her arms around his neck. As Bobby nipped at her earlobe, she emitted a small gasp. His hand reached her bra. She instinctively whispered, "Oh God... Bobby..." Alex took a shaky breath. This was fast spinning out of her control. She needed distance. She needed to think. She finally forced her voice to cooperate with her. "Bobby...stop. Not here. Your apartment." It was closer than her home.
His breath was ragged as he stared her down. Fishing out his keys, he held them between their bodies. "You drive."
Taking a shaky breath, Alex got into the car. And with a trembling hand, she started the engine. She didn't dare look at him as she drove. As much as she wanted him, she was wracking her brain for a way out of this. She was terrified that this would destroy them.
He let her get on the road before he undid his seat belt and slid closer to her. He whispered in her ear, "Are you wet?" Sliding his hand down between her legs, he caressed her through her slacks. Feeling her shiver, he slowly worked his way up, popping the button loose and sliding down the zipper. Slipping his hand inside, he whispered, "Damn, baby, you are wet..." He slowly worked his finger around her clit. He licked his lips before he pulled her earlobe into his mouth. "What is it that you want me to do to you, Detective?"
Alex's breathing became shallow again. Swallowing hard, she desperately tried to focus on driving. She had never seen him like this. She was getting everything she ever wanted, so why did this feel wrong? Her voice was quiet. "Bobby...please." When he moved to her neck again, she involuntarily gasped. Her self-control was slipping again. Panting, she admitted, "I want you, Bobby." Moving her shirt, he gave himself better access to her shoulder. He sucked gently, and she lost her resolve. She wanted this too much in whatever form she could get it. "I want you to fuck me, Bobby. I want you inside me."
"Step on it," he growled into her ear as he pushed two fingers inside her. Stop this now, Bobby. This isn't right. She'll hate you in the morning. You'll hate you in the morning. He growled again and began moving his fingers faster in and out of her, his thumb pressing against her clit.
Alex felt every part of her tingling. She was desperately trying to focus on the road. When his fingers moved deeper, she moaned. "God..." It was almost sideswiping a truck that refocused her attention. Her eyes widened and she insisted, "Bobby, stop. Please stop. We're going to have an accident."
He slowly removed his fingers, sliding them in once more before pulling out completely. Moving back to his side of the car, his breathing was still ragged. When she pulled up outside his apartment building and parked, he jumped out. Moving to her side of the car, he opened her door. Pulling her out, he closed the door and pressed her against it. His hand slid into her still unbuttoned pants and his fingers moved into her again. "Want me to fuck you, huh?" He growled against her throat as he bit greedily. "How hard, Alex?" Not waiting for her answer he pulled his fingers out of her again and buttoned her slacks. Making it into his house was all he cared about. He needed to be inside her. He had to be inside her. Maybe then the voices in his head would stop. Á few minutes later, he closed his apartment door behind them and pressed her against it. "How hard?"
Alex was practically shaking. She didn't recognize the man who had his hands up her shirt again. Last chance, Alex. Stop it now. Stop it fast or risk this turning into a train wreck. Oh, God. What is he doing now? As he grazed her neck with his teeth, she swallowed hard. Closing her eyes, she surrendered. Whatever was going to happen, would happen. She needed and wanted this too much. Running her hands through his hair, she whimpered. "Hard! I can handle you, Bobby."
He sneered, "I have no doubt in that." He pulled her shirt over her head and unsnapped her bra, letting them both slide to the floor. Taking her breasts in both hands he slowly massaged them before moving his hands to her pants, pushing them to her ankles. He undid his jeans and let them fall to the floor around his feet, boxers included. Picking her up, he slid into her as she wrapped her legs around his waist. He nearly lost it with the first feel of her walls tightening around him. Afraid she'd stop him, he shoved himself hard inside her. Then he was afraid that he would stop himself, but in that moment he finally knew what heaven was. Heaven was everything about her. Being her partner, her friend, and now her lover. His voice shook as he finally managed to croak out, "I love you," between thrusts and grunts.
In those moments there was nothing and no one else but them. She could feel the pressure building. She felt like every part of her was alive, and she barely registered that he had spoken, much less the words. As he continued to thrust into her, she was reeling. Grabbing his face, she made him meet her eyes. As he continued inside of her, she replied, "I...love you, too."
Hearing these words, he whispered, "Then what I am doing?" He pulled himself out of her, kicking his shoes and pants off the rest of the way. He then picked her up gently, carrying her to his bed. Laying her down gently, he covered her body with his. He began to slowly make love to her.
As he gently began to worship her skin, kissing her, Alex closed her eyes and completely relaxed. This was the Bobby she knew and loved. A couple of stubborn tears that refused to listen as she desperately tried not to cry slid down her face.
Meeting her eyes, he stopped when he saw the tears. "I'm sorry...Alex, I'm so sorry." He gently kissed her tears away.
Alex shook her head. Reaching up, she placed her hand on his cheek. Feeling his stubble, she met his eyes. She promised, "I'm okay. Right now, I just...I need you."
Taking her hands, he slowly entwined their fingers together. "I've always needed you, Alex..." He kissed her slowly as he began to make love to her again, touching her soul with each stroke inside her.
When it was over, Alex caught her breath. Slowly running her hands down his chest, she looked up and met his eyes. "Let me in, Bobby. Please don't shut me out. I want to be here for you. I want to help you."
Taking her in his arms, he began to cry softly. It was a like the dam of his soul burst free, and he was sobbing as he held her. His tears were soaking her hair. He wasn't ashamed. She really loved him and needed him, just like he loved and needed her. "Just never...," he swallowed. "Never leave me," he whispered.
Relieved, Alex held him close. Rubbing his back, she didn't try to make it better. There was nothing to say that would. He was losing his mother and all she could do was give him a safe place to let go of everything he was holding inside. When he finally spoke again, Alex could feel her heart leap into her throat. He was in so much pain and so scared. Tightening her hold on him, she continued to rub his back, "Never, Bobby. I'm not going to leave. This is where I want to be. I love you."
"I love you too," He met her eyes and kissed her tenderly. "For the first time in a long time, I don't mind falling asleep...you'll be here when I wake up." He averted his eyes. "Right?"
With a nod, she placed her hand gently under his chin. Forcing him to meet her eyes, she promised, "I'll be here. I'll be right here with you when you get up tomorrow, the day after and every day after." She knew she was pushing the boundaries of what she could honestly promise, but this was what he needed to hear. And she wasn't planning on leaving…ever.
"I can't let you give up that house in Rockaway...you love it." He whispered.
Alex shook her head. Rubbing his cheek, she replied, "You mean more to me. We'll work it out, Bobby. I'm not worried about where we live. I just know I want you there." Meeting his eyes, she couldn't believe she almost stopped this. She couldn't believe she almost pushed him away. She almost lost out on this. She was just grateful that this hadn't been a mistake and that he was okay. They could smooth things over with Ross on Monday when they were due back at 1PP.
He sighed, "I love you so much...it hurts." He kissed her hair, and then tilted her chin up so that he could kiss her mouth tenderly. "Good night, sweetheart. Sweet dreams." For once he knew his dreams would be filled with hope and love, not memories from his past.
The End