A/N: The idea for this story might have been born from the expired gum I'm chewing...but that's highly unlikely, even for me.
Disclaimers: I don't own Beauty and the Beast. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing this disturbing tale.
Belle wandered down yet another corridor and searched around in frustration, looking left and right at all the lounges and rooms on each side. Just as she was about to give up and pee outside, she spotted a door with a large sign saying Bathroom.
"Oh thank goodness!" she gasped, her bladder just about ready to burst. She scurried as fast as she could into the tiny room and slammed the door shut. She sighed, hiked up her skirt, sat down, and was just about to release the dam when…
"Hello!" boomed a voice. Belle screamed and jumped ten feet into the air, in the end grabbing a toilet paper roll to cover herself.
"W-Who's there?" the young girl stammered, backing away slowly. She could've sworn the voice had come from the chamber pot, but she threw the thought aside, thinking the castle's musty fumes had gone to her head.
But her thoughts were soon answered as the chamber pot sprouted eyes and began talking once more, the seat flopping up and down like a mouth. "Wow! A real human! No one's used this bathroom in decades…"
Belle's eye twitched, a sure sign that she had finally gone completely crazy. "A talking chamber pot," she murmured.
The toilet spoke again; it's deep, gurgling voice swelling with pride. "Yes, I am The Enchanted Chamber Pot of the Forbidden Castle!" it cried, water splashing everywhere. "But you can just call me Jared—hey, hey where are you going?"
Belle rushed out of the bathroom and didn't stop until she reached the Entrance Hall. "Talking inanimate objects…" she grumbled, fumbling to put on her cloak. She froze and looked down in disgust at the wet spot that had formed in the front of her dress, along with her sudden lack of constipation.
"That's it!" she hissed, pulling on her hood and stomping out the front door, the scowl on her face enough to scare away any wolf.
~o~0~o~
The Beast paced across the Grand Staircase 15 minutes later, his face twisted in worry. "Where could she be?" he muttered, wringing his paws.
Cogsworth appeared beside him, his head down. "I'm sorry Sire, we can't seem to find the girl anywhere," he reported sadly. "The last I saw her I was giving her another grand tour of the castle when she said she had to use the latrine."
The Beast stopped short in his tracks, his whole body suddenly overcome with a powerful headache. He rubbed his temples vigorously. "Jared..." he grumbled.
That's probably the shortest story I've ever written—and that's not necessarily a bad thing!
Dunno why I named the toilet Jared...
Thank you to all my readers and supporters who continue to read and support (you know who you are, you lucky people!)
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