Notes: This takes place before, during and after "Endgame: Grima" and contains tons and tons of spoilers. It also goes without saying that Chrom and female!Robin (Robyn) are married. Also, BE NICE. This is my very first Fire Emblem fanfiction, EVER. So I may mess up and get things all wrong or something. Just let me know nicely! Thanks =D
Anything Can Change
Sometimes, when Lucina looked into her mother's eyes, she saw her own fear lurking there. Instead of worsening that fear, though, Robyn's fear seemed reassuring somehow, as if Robyn's fear validated Lucina's.
At least at first, anyway.
Morgan never seemed to be afraid. This was usually blamed on his loss of memory, but Lucina knew better. Morgan, often an unexplained scaredey-cat when it came to the weirdest things, found what Lucina thought of as frightening more of a challenge than something to shrink from. Even before he forgot everything - save Robyn - he was always optimistic and with a ready smile. She loved her little brother dearly, but sometimes she wondered about such blind optimism. Their lives were built on the same misery, one she felt every single day, but if Morgan felt it, he never showed it. Perhaps what she felt was merely envy, not confusion.
But then... Robyn was afraid, too. At first, Lucina wondered if that fear was directed at her, the future daughter who once cornered her own mother and held Falchion to her chest. But then... even then, Robyn's eyes didn't hold that fear they held now. They were soft and warm, Lucina remembered with a flash of shame, full of a love that Lucina remembered vividly, and one that Robyn was just starting to learn – for Lucina as well as her infant self.
Chrom knew, though. Lucina could see it only in his gestures; he, liked Morgan, was prone to ducking behind a screen of optimism, too much of a leader to show his fear outright. But often, when the others were distracted, Lucina watched as Chrom touched his mysterious, powerful wife with a firm tenderness, one that clearly said, "I don't care where – or what – you came from. I will love you till I die."
Lucina knew all too well that he could – and would. In her time, she hadn't witnessed it first-hand, but the truth came out not long after the fact. In Lucina's time, Robyn hadn't lost her memory, and she had always known she was cursed. She sought Chrom out to fight against the father she never knew but loathed for the blood he had given her. She had never planned on falling in love with Chrom, but she had. And so had he.
It was that love that had killed them both. Grima had spoken the truth when he said, "Your mother and father are dead, tiny one." It was both literal – in Chrom's case – but also mental and spiritual – in Robyn's. When Validar usurped her mind and she murdered Chrom, his last words still echoing in her damaged mind, she went insane. Some said that once the truth dawned on her, she even tried to kill herself with the same magic that killed her husband; but of course neither Validar nor Grima would allow that to happen. Being forced to live after such a thing... she did die, but mentally. When Lucina saw Grima and heard his words, she knew that Robyn – her beloved, brave, desperate mother – was truly dead. And she, Lucina, hated Grima all the more for it.
Robyn knew the truth from those days now. Before, she was merely haunted by the memories of her double. Now, she knew the truth just as harshly as Lucina did. Chrom didn't know, but he knew something had shaken Robyn, and he wanted to protect her all the same. Lucina knew, though, that it was actually the opposite: Robyn was protecting him.
And now mother and daughter shared the same fear: that of losing the man they both loved the most in the world.
But did Robyn know that Lucina could see through her? Robyn had a skill, one that she gave Morgan, one that allowed her to push agony aside for the sake of others and show nothing but optimism. But unlike Morgan, she knew what could happen if she lost herself, and the price, it was clear, was heavier than anything else she had carried.
Not long after Lucina realised this, Robyn seemed a little too cheerful, too chipper and adjusting. She would go out of her way to do more than her share, and would stay up late and wake up early poring over maps and books, trying to soak up as much as she could before the big fight, one they all knew was coming.
Lucina feared for her. And she knew Chrom did, too. Perhaps that made it worse.
"Hey," Morgan's soft, slightly deep voice called her out of her reverie. She looked up and saw so much of Robyn in his smile, his eyes, even in the way he stood. He still stubbornly wore Robyn's old robes – the very robes she wore before she became Grandmaster in their time – and they made him look like a smaller version of their mother. She suddenly wished she was more affectionate, so that she could embrace him without confusing him or worrying him.
"Hi, Morgan," she managed. She was perched on the spot close to where she had been ready to kill Robyn. It made her face the whole thing each time she sat there, but she wanted to be reminded of it; she never wanted to do it again, even if Robyn never blamed or chastised her for it.
Morgan sat down beside her without a word, leaning back on his hands and spreading his legs out before him. It was a good contrast to her curled up, chin-on-knees perching. She wondered if he knew that. Probably not.
"You're upset about something," he said bluntly, just like she remembered. "You didn't eat, and when Owain named your fork, you didn't even blink at him."
She winced. Owain probably would take it personally, but she really hadn't meant to ignore him. Her poor cousin was truly Lissa's son: everything was an adventure, a story. She knew he had a deeper side – had seen it firsthand in their time – but ever since coming back here, he seemed to shed that as easily as a cloak. It was why he and Morgan were fast friends.
Morgan studied her closely when she remained silent. His smile, usually permanent, faded, and his eyes darkened. He leaned forward and shoved the hair from his eyes, just like Chrom. She smiled at that, and his smile returned faintly.
"I'll make it up to him later," she said finally.
"I recommend naming something of his," Morgan replied. "Maybe something silly. You know Owain."
She nodded, trying hard to think of a name for anything, but only coming up with stupid ones. She still smarted over Owain's reaction to her trying to play his game and renaming Falchion.
"Lucina," called Morgan softly. "Come back, please."
She turned to him. His elbows now rested on his thighs, his eyes on her face and searching. She tried to speak, but couldn't.
"What is it you know that I don't?" he asked. His voice was free of suspicion, which she appreciated, but he wanted an answer all the same. "I know you know more than I do," he added, trying to make light of things, placing a finger to his temple and pulling a face, "but this seems different. Is it Mom?"
She started, mouth open. He nodded, slumping a little, looking away and down at his hands, now loose on his lap. "I knew it," he murmured.
"You just said you didn't," she managed, hoping to deflect this turn of words.
"Probably not all, but I saw how you looked at her at dinner. You looked like you wanted to cry. So did she, once she looked at you."
Robyn had looked at her? It must have been when Lucina looked away, when she actually had felt close to tears.
Morgan touched her hand. Unlike her, he was easy with affection, loved to touch and hug and slap a shoulder. If he loved someone, he would show it, no matter what. "Lucina. Big Sis. Talk to me."
It was that that broke her shields. Morgan called her "Big Sis" in the future more than he used her name. She knew it just rolled off the tongue for him at this time, but for her, it was a punch to her heart.
Her mouth dry, she whispered, "I think Mother is going to die. And worse, I think she'll kill herself."
Morgan's grip tightened, his eyes widening in shock. "No..." he whispered. "But why? Is it because..." He looked away, his eyes narrowing.
"Yeah," she answered. "What Grima said. What Naga said, too. I heard Father asking her to promise to let him land the final blow on Grima, but she..."
"...refused," Morgan finished, his voice thick. "Yeah. That sounds like her. She was always doing that, wasn't she? I remember that. If it meant sparing anyone any hint of pain, she would do whatever it took."
Lucina nodded. She was glad that at least Morgan still remembered Robyn, even though it hurt that he didn't remember her or Chrom still.
"You heard that?"
Both siblings jerked and turned in shock, finding Chrom standing there, hands on his hips. Their father looked angry, but Lucina somehow knew it wasn't directed at either of them. Rather, he was mad that they had found out.
"Father," Lucina murmured, her face hot. Morgan echoed the word in a slightly awkward way, still trying to grasp the concept.
Chrom walked over to them, eyed both of them closely in silence, before sitting down beside Lucina, heaving a loud, heavy sigh as he did so.
For a moment, the three were silent. Lucina knew they all thought of Robyn, and wondered if Robyn's ears were burning. At the moment, the Grandmaster was locked in her tent, scratching out routes for the next week and trying to remember to eat at the same time. Sully, with whom she had once tried to lose weight, often said loudly that she was too skinny and needed to "lay off that damned seaweed," whatever that meant.
"Your mother..." Chrom said suddenly. "She's having trouble dealing with all of this."
"I can relate," Morgan replied. "Having that same blood in my veins..." He shuddered. Lucina blinked in surprise; it hadn't occurred to her that, as Robyn's children, they, too, shared Grima's blood. She shivered too, rubbing her arms.
Chrom sighed again. "That doesn't matter," he said, snapping it out. Angry again, but not at them. "We'll kill that bastard once and for all this time."
Then he realised what he said, and blanched. Morgan winced, his eyes brightening with tears, and Lucina felt herself go cold.
"No," Chrom backtracked hastily. "No, we can't... I mean..."
"It's alright, Father," Lucina broke in, hating the pain on his face. It reminded her too much of those days before he died. "We knew what you meant."
"There has to be a way to kill Grima without... you know," Morgan growled it. "What if I did it?"
"No!" both Lucina and Chrom shared the word, horrified. "It would mean the same thing, the same result, or might not even work at all," Chrom added. "No. It has to be sleep. Tiki said she would make sure to educate everyone about the dangers of Grima. So did Nowi and Nah. We have to trust that."
"But what if it's not enough, Father?" Lucina blurted suddenly. "What if they do it again? It happened to us, and King Marth's story is known by everyone. It didn't stop others from worshipping Grima."
"Not everyone is like Gangrel," Morgan said, sounding desperate.
Chrom was silent, now looking forward. He sat with one leg out, one leg folded to his chin, in a bizarre combination of his children's positions. To Lucina's dismay, she saw that his eyes, usually so bright and stoic, were also full of unshed tears.
"Father," Lucina said it gently, touching his hand, just like Morgan had done for her. She felt awkward doing it, but it seemed to help him, a little. "We won't let it happen. She won't die."
"I don't think we have a say in that, remember?" Chrom answered dryly. "You heard what she said to me. I'm her husband. She never lies to me. Just like I never lie to her."
Though Morgan looked uncertain, Lucina remembered that as the truth. Robyn had never lied in her time, nor this. It wasn't in her nature.
"But we're here," Morgan protested. "We came back for her."
"We came back to stop Grima," Lucina corrected without thinking. "We came back to stop him from destroying us."
And he came back with us, Lucina added silently, shamefully. She blamed herself for that, since she often felt that Grima had simply piggybacked on their transport from Naga. When Lucina realised who Robyn's double was, that guilt threatened to devour her. How else could that double have come back? He had even used Lucina's name – well, Marth's – when explaining who he was.
So much guilt. So much fear. Even in this beautiful, not yet ruined world, it was a constant haunting of her soul.
"There's no easy answer to this," Chrom said softly, still not looking at his children. "We use Falchion, and Grima sleeps. In our lifetime, it's unlikely he'll revive again. But once our story becomes history, it would be easy to forget. But if we kill him..."
"No!" Morgan protested again, louder. "No, not Mother! Please, no." And to their horror, he did start to weep, but softly, the tears of still-fresh pain. Morgan had lost practically everything. Finding Robyn, the only one he could remember, was what comforted him. Lucina knew that if Robyn died, Morgan would probably die, too.
"Your mother will not die," Chrom grated out, teeth clenched together, unable to ignore his son's tears. "I would die before that would ever happen."
"But that's exactly what Grima wants," Lucina hesitantly said.
"Exactly, and the last thing that I want."
Again, startled jumps and looks backwards, finding Robyn standing there, the setting sun like a halo around her, making her look smaller and thinner than ever. Lucina's heart hurt seeing her there. Despite the sun, Robyn's face was clear: she was upset.
She didn't join them. She stood there, a few metres away, her hands limp at her sides. Most of her armour had been shed, and her robes were rumpled. Her hair, usually kept neat, was messy. When she went on, her voice gradually rose.
"This isn't a joke. This isn't a game. Grima can't be allowed to live. We don't know for sure that my killing him will kill me. Are you forgetting what Naga said? There's still a chance! What is wrong with you? And even if there isn't…" She swallowed hard. "Well, what of it?"
Lucina stared at her, stunned. She had never yelled before, not like this. Not in a way that could risk others hearing her.
Chrom was on his feet at once, reaching forward and touching her cheek. She looked like she wanted to move away, but instead, she sagged a little, looking down. Morgan jumped to his feet at seeing this, lunging forward and hugging Robyn hard. She was only a head taller than him, but he looked so small when he did that. He hid his face in her shoulder, just like he had as a kid.
Lucina sat, frozen. Seeing this, she knew. She just knew what would happen. She knew Chrom and Morgan held onto the hope that they could change Robyn's mind, but Lucina knew better.
Robyn would do it. She would kill Grima, the self she could have been. And she would die doing it.
Lucina felt her face crumple, like it had when she confessed her true identity to Chrom. Like then, she threw herself to her feet and hugged Robyn, throwing one arm around Chrom, the other on Morgan, pulling them together. She felt Robyn do the same, and the four of them, this strange family of people close to the same age, huddled together like baby chicks desperate for warmth, weeping, either silently, like Robyn and Chrom, or loud and pained, like Morgan. Lucina was somewhere in the middle, an occasional sob escaping her. Chrom's arm went around her, and held her tight.
Those lingering moments were what haunted her now, standing on the back of the monster that destroyed her life. She knew that if she did what she wanted – ignore the foolish Grimleal and chase after her parents and brother – those same Grimleal would kill her in an instant. It was taking everything she had to focus on fighting them off and trying to keep track of her mother – her real one, now, not the abomination wearing her mother for a skin – and if she let one of those seconds go by, she would be dead.
But then, if she was unable to get away, her mother would be dead.
Somehow, as if she had been screaming it aloud instead of just mentally, someone came to her rescue. She felt the warmth of someone close by, then the briskness of wind magic coupled with steel, and she knew Owain and Lissa had come to set her free. Somehow, they knew.
With a quick nod of thanks, Lucina felt herself lurch forward, her steps ungainly on the writhing, segmented back of her nightmare. The wind was brutal, stinging and hot and full of the stench of misery, and it did everything it could to push her away from the rest of her family.
Even as she got close enough to see Grima, see his eyes widen in that facade of her mother, even as she watched Chrom suddenly go pale and draw the glowing-red Falchion from its sheath, even as she did the same, with her own plain version of that same sword...
Even when she heard Morgan scream out, saw the figure of whom she thought of her real mother, now – the mother this version of her in this time was supposed to have, the version of that same mother Lucina had finally gotten back – walk slowly forward, she knew that no matter how hard she ran, she would be too late.
And she was.
"For once, I'm glad that you and I are the same," Lucina heard her mother say, her voice bitter and scared, her hand shaking as she held that globe of magic within it.
"No!" Lucina gasped out, but her words were snatched away from her by that damned wind. She lunged forward, screaming out for her, saying neither 'Robyn' nor 'Mother', but 'Mama!'
And then the magic slammed Grima down. And Robyn fell with him.
Only Chrom had been close enough to hear Robyn's last words. He was weeping, silently, as he spoke them, and Morgan, by then inconsolable, sobbed harder into Lucina's shoulder, his fingers digging into her back sharply.
"May we meet again…" Robyn had said, smiling and holding up an already shredding hand in farewell. "…in a better life."
Lucina's mouth tasted bitter. This was supposed to be the better life. Holding her little brother close, her other hand gripping her young father's tight, she closed her eyes, giving in to her tears again, unable to be strong.
Not this time.
"They found her," Morgan gasped out, winded and hunched over. He was holding himself up in the doorway, his face shiny with sweat – and joy.
Lucina slowly rose to her feet, bemused and unable to hope too much. She knew that, for a whole month, everyone had wandered around in a sort of stunned shock, following the death of Grima – and Robyn with him. That had been almost a year ago. Then, suddenly, the day after the first anniversary of that day, Chrom suddenly decided not only to start sending delegates out to search for any sign of Robyn, but had also insisted that he, Lissa, and Frederick also look together.
Lucina and Morgan had stayed behind in Ylisstol. (At first, following the end of that battle, Lucina could barely stand being in the castle, surrounded by all she had lost, haunted by all that she lost. But Chrom had begged her to stay, and so had Morgan, so in the end, she remained, a Ylissean princess once more.) Now, Lucina knew that Morgan stayed behind for two reasons, though he only insisted that one was true: the first, because he wanted to help Lucina shoulder the load of the kingdom left in her care by Chrom (something she came to be grateful for after a week ). The second one was one she also understood, despite his failed attempt at denying it: he didn't want to go because he didn't want to be disappointed.
Lucina was quite positive that she had lost her mother for good – both versions of her. Was it harder to lose a mother twice? It was for her. It was horrific to lose her birth mother in the way she did. But for some reason, the loss of this time's Robyn hit – and hurt – her harder. She was getting to know her mother in a different way, learning to love her, even. In fact, Lucina knew that she had loved this time's Robyn, too. That hurt, very much.
So did seeing her infant other-self begin to grow up motherless. That hurt, too.
Morgan, like Lucina, had firmly decided that after a month of no luck, they weren't going to find Robyn, no matter what Naga had said. They had watched her die before their eyes – their very eyes, they had to see her vanish, as if she had never been. There was no way some kind of 'power-of-love' fairy tale would ever come true, no matter the source.
But now…
"What?" Lucina blurted out now, unable to keep her confusion from her voice. "That's a horrible joke, Morgan," she added angrily.
Morgan shook his head, as if shaking her words from his skull so that he could concentrate on what was already in there. He did that a lot, said it helped his memory sometimes, but Lucina wondered if he did it to shake out thoughts he didn't like. Like now.
"Lucina, why would I lie about this?" he insisted, his eyes on hers. Looking closer into those eyes – their mother's eyes, they both knew – she could see that he wasn't lying. So he believed what he was saying.
That didn't mean it was true. It was too much for her broken heart to bear.
Slowly, she walked over to him, waited until he was able to catch his breath, then she ordered, "Take me there. Walk and explain."
As they walked down the castle's unharmed, undestroyed hallways, Lucina listened carefully as Morgan's words spilt out from his lips like a waterfall. Chrom and Lissa had decided to, on a whim, visit the very first camping site they had shared with Robyn, the same place that, oh hey, did she remember, when she was Marth? Of course Lucina remembered. How could she ever forget? They had decided to go to that site as a sort of memorial, almost as if it were a symbolic end to the search.
It was, quite literally, the very last place to look. And that was where they had found her.
Lucina, unable to speak, took Morgan's hand at that. He squeezed it tightly, not letting go, and the two of them left the palace, towards the woods, unable to keep their hope dead, despite how cruel reality had been to them.
When they got there, they were the first. Seated in a small horseshoe was a group of four adults, chatting carefully, slowly, but happily. As they came closer, Morgan and Lucina could see the faces of the people there.
Morgan fell, dropping her hand as he did. She almost was dragged down with him, taken off balance by this sudden change. Heart in her throat, Lucina turned back, trying to see what Morgan had seen, trying to stop her heart from racing and pounding her ears.
An embrace, warm and familiar, encircled her, and suddenly she did drop, and was being held close with Morgan, whom she hugged with one arm by instinct. Then, when her eyes met the hugger's, Lucina made a sound she was embarrassed of later, but knew she would never had been able to keep back.
Both children, one face to each shoulder, held their mother tight. It wasn't their Robyn, no – but it was the Robyn they had learnt to love almost deeper than the first. Gasping out her sobs, Lucina pulled back for a moment and stared at Robyn's young face, blurring with her tears, blinking hard more and more to make sure that yes, Robyn was there, and real, and Naga had been right.
And the words that Robyn said… they made both Morgan and Lucina laugh weakly, for they knew them well.
It's all over now.