(Damn it all to hell, I totally blame this story on a fellow classmate.
The inspiration for THIS story goes like this: I'm a member of our school's Scholastic Bowl (and we're damn good too, so no comments from non-ScholBowlers) and at a tournament, the proctor lady said some stuff for the clue and was like, "His name was also the title of the first Gorillaz single…"
Being stupid at the time, I had no idea that the answer was Clint Eastwood, but good old Kenny did. HE single-handedly sparked my interest in Gorillaz.
Damn it all to hell, I say.
Anyhow, some of this stuff I got from the shiny new autobiography "Rise of the Ogre," and it answers the question of Noodle's whereabouts at the end of El Mañana, so go read it. D
And please don't hate me if they're massively out of character or I don't do a pairing, it's FAN-fiction and really, I'm trying so hard to avoid pairings--
Gorillaz © not me)
---
The Gorillaz were never, by any means, "normal." Murdoc Niccals had his green skin and abnormally long tongue; 2D, or Stuart Tusspot, had natural blue hair and black eyes, devoid of any color; Russel Hobbs, the only American of them all, was possessed by the ghost of his dead friend and had encountered the Grim Reaper; and Noodle, the Japanese guitarist, who arrived in a FedEx crate and was a weapon of mass destruction in disguise.
Yes, they could be described as "strange," "dysfunctional," and perhaps even "insane." But the one word you would never use in their presence was "normal."
And that was never more true during one particular incident…
---
It was a hot, sweltering summer's day in most of Essex, but of course Kong Studios never shared the weather with the rest of Essex. Noodle looked out the window, staring through the grey mist that constantly surrounded the haunted building.
"Kake de manichi go, shimi nani kodo ka…" she mumbled to herself, starting to hum "Left Hand Suzuki Method."
That was, until 2D suddenly walked into the room, startling the young Japanese guitarist.
"Oh, 'ello, Noodle love," the singer grinned, showing some of his golden teeth. "We were wond'rin where you were."
"Oh, hello, 2D-san," Noodle sighed. She resumed looking out the window. "I just had some…. thinking to do. About… about back home… in Japan…"
"Oh?" 2D seemed genuinely interested. "Well, Noodle, I'm sorry t'be rude, but would y'mind thinkin' somewhere else? As in, y'know, not in my room?"
"But, 2D-san, your room is very good for thinking in, no spirits inhabit here… plus, no-one else really ever comes in here… please, can I stay?"
"…..ah, fine, but only if ya promise not t' think too loud, m'kay?"
"Ahhh! Domo arigatou, 2-san!" Noodle beamed. 2D chuckled, then flopped down onto his messy bed, pulling out a CD player. Carefully pulling the headphones over his ears, 2D allowed the music to pull him away from reality as he closed his eyes, resting.
Noodle slowly slid off the overstuffed recliner that she had been sitting on, wandering around 2D's room. She enjoyed being in this room- it was never inhabited by ghosts or foul demons, unlike the rest of Kong. Plus, every time she came in, she found something new in the singer's room. This time, the front of what had been a Trix cereal box was stapled to the wall, and a mustache was drawn on the white rabbit's face.
Noodle smiled at the doctored drawing, then examined the floor. So many things could be found lying on that blue carpet- car keys, empty pill bottles, American money, and empty beer bottles were common items that one could find on 2D's floor.
While Noodle searched, in hopes of finding some money she could actually use, she started thinking about 2D. She had always had doubts about him…. She had never seen the legendary two dents that led to his nickname. She also never truly believed what Murdoc said; the bassist had often told Noodle that 2D was hit in the head with a car, but of course Murdoc was also a compulsive liar who would say anything to get people off his back.
Noodle got off her hands and knees. Her search had turned up a peanut butter and tomato sandwich with only a little bit of mold on it, a pair of fuzzy pink slipper socks, an army helmet, and a white poster board with ""FIRE IS MY FRIEND" scrawled on it in messy black letters. Though she usually scrutinized the objects in her search carefully, her mind was too unfocused that day.
She had far more interesting questions she wanted answered, anyways.
She quickly climbed on top of 2D, sitting on his stomach. Feeling the sudden weight of Noodle on his chest, 2D opened his eyes, looking up at Noodle.
"Summfin' wrong, Noodle?" he asked after removing his headphones.
"2D-san, do you really have two dents in your head?" Noodle queried, tilting her head slightly. "Because it does not look like you do."
"Sure do, love," 2D gave a wide grin, taking Noodle's hands and placing them over the indentations in his skull. Noodle's green eyes widened.
"But… how did that happen, 2D-san?" she asked, amazed.
"We,, that's a funny story, really," 2D sighed, sitting up. Noodle slid off his chest, dangling her legs over the side of the bed. "I was se'enteen an' my mum tol' me to go get a job, so I worked at a place tha' sold pianos n' stuff. In the middle of August, I was workin' at the shop durin' the night shift, and was talkin' to some blokes who were lookin' at sumfink, an' all of a sudden this car comes flyin' through the window and hits me right in the 'ead! Pushed my righ' eye in my skull, it did. It hurt… that was the first dent. Put me in a coma, it did."
"Who was driving the car?" Noodle asked, her eyes wide with disbelief. "Did the police come and arrest them?"
"Yeah, Muds said 'e was laughin' so hard he didn' hear the cops pullin' up," 2D chuckled. "They told 'im he had to do summat like thirty thousan' hours of community service, an' that included watchin' me…"
"So Murdoc-san WAS the one who hit you? I was almost sure he was lying again," Noodle gaped.
"No, no, it was def'nitely 'im," 2D nodded. "Well, about a year later, Murdoc wa' drivin' aroun' doin' some tricks 'n stuff to impress a crowd, an' I was in the backseat, still in a coma… Muds was goin' fast an' then all of a sudden he hit summfink. I think it wa' like a streetlight… an' I went flyin' out the windshield at like se'enty miles an hour!"
Noodle gasped, clapping her hands over her mouth. "Impossible!"
"No, it 'appened, Noodle love. That's where I got my second dent, an' that was about when Murdoc asked me t'be in 'is band… an' the rest is hist'ry, love."
"Oh, wow," Noodle gawked. "I never would have guessed that it really happened to you, 2D-san…"
Suddenly, the singer and guitarist both heard a loud, booming drumroll emanating from below them, 2D jumped, looking around frantically.
"It's Satan an' he's come to eat me!!" he cried out. Noodle giggled at the hypersensitive singer.
"Actually, I think that is Russel-san practicing," Noodle suggested. 2D blinked, then slowly relaxed, muttering "oh…" softly.
Noodle giggled, then got up and walked over to 2D's stereo.
"'Oy, Noodle, whatcha doin'?"
Noodle didn't answer, instead looking through 2D's CD collection. Finding the CD that she was looking for, she popped it into the stereo, cranking up the volume before going back to sit down by 2D.
"Whatcha put in, Noodle?"
"Just listen…"
I ain't happy,
I'm feeling glad
I got sunshine,
In a bag
I'm useless,
But not for long
My future,
Is comin' on…
2D's face suddenly lit up as he recognized the song as "Clint Eastwood," the one that had made them famous. Noodle grinned at 2D.
"You are being to serious, 2D-san. You need to have fun too!" she declared, standing back up. Pulling 2D up with her, she continued, "Will you dance with me?"
"Eh?!" 2D gulped. "Ah-ah…. I can't dance!"
"You are lying, 2D-san," Noodle frowned. "I have seen you dance before!" Pulling forth the most adorable face she could muster, she then added, "Pleeeeeeease?"
2D stood no chance against Noodle's charm.
"Awright, awright, I'll dance with ya... but only fer a little while, got it?"
Noodle clapped gleefully, then took 2D's hands and started spinning him around like a top. 2D was nearly jerked off his feet, but luckily was able to keep up with the young guitarist.
They danced through Clint Eastwood, with Noodle pretending to kick a zombie square in the face, effectively destroying 2D's dresser. 2D just shrugged it off, saying that he needed a new one anyways.
He was planning on trying to rest again as soon as the song ended, but of course "Man Research" started up immediately after, and Noodle insisted that 2D stop being so lazy.
"Pleeeeeeeeeease, 2D-san? Just one more sooooong?"
"….oh, fine, fine, but then it goes off!"
It ended up with Noodle dancing in circles, with 2D singing along to his own song. But Noodle didn't really care that 2D wasn't actually singing; just that he was doing something was good enough for her.
While Noodle was dancing and 2D singing to Punk, however, 2D dropped the stapler he was using as a pretend microphone on the floor. Suddenly clutching at his head, he let out an unexpected cry of pain.
"2D-san!!" Noodle cried, instantly running over to the blue-haired singer. "What is wrong?!"
"M-My 'ead!" he hissed in pain. "It 'urts!! F-ffffuck-"
---
Even from his Winnebago, Murdoc could hear Noodle screaming frantically. Choking on his beer, it took him a few seconds to stop sputtering.
"What the bloody hell was that?!" the foul-tempered bassist snarled, looking out the filthy window of his precious Winnebago towards the building that was Kong Studios. Storming out towards the building, he growled, "If it's about another damn bug or something, I swear to-"
He never got to finish what he was going to say, for at that moment Noodle rushed out of the building, towards Murdoc.
"M-Murdoc-san!" she cried out, her normally calm demeanor completely replaced by frantic worry. "S-Something is wrong with 2D-san! He-"
"Is that all you were screaming about?!" Murdoc glared, anger coursing through his veins. "There's ALWAYS something wrong with Faceache! And if you're gonna go screaming loud enough to wake the bloody dead, I'm gonna-"
"N-no! Murdoc-san-- h-he's passed out and now…. now he will not wake up!!"
Murdoc froze. Shit. This was not good.
"Where is he?"
"I-in his room! Russel-san has already called the hospital, a-and 2D-san is breathing, but…!"
"Okay, okay!" Murdoc sighed heavily, running a hand through his greasy black hair. "Get 'im down in the main room, we'll keep an eye on 'im till either to doctors come or somethin' 'appens to him, okay, love?"
Noodle nodded, then bowed and quickly dashed back to 2D's room, leaving Murdoc to think about the situation at hand.
"How could this've happened…"
---About a week ago---
"Ehm… Murdoc? Y'got a minnit?"
Murdoc rolled his head around and leered at the scrawny singer who stood at the doorway of his Winnebago.
"What d'you want now, Faceache? Can't you see I'm busy practicin'?"
"Ehm, well… m-my 'ead hurts… a lot…"
"So take one of your fucking pills already! Y'got like, a hundred of 'em!"
"Well, I would… but th' thing is that, uhm…"
"What is it already?!"
"I-I kinda ran out…"
Murdoc gave 2D a look that could melt the polar ice caps.
"I-I'm sorry!! I didn't notice I was runnin' out, an'-"
"So what you're saying is," Murdoc interrupted, his scathing tone silencing 2D, "is that due to -your- stupidity, and -your- pathetic addiction to your stupid pills, y'want -me- to go an' get you some more. Is that right?"
"…yes…" 2D mumbled softly.
"Get the fuck out of here, what the hell do you think I am?! Some kind of escort service?!" Murdoc growled. "You're a fucking pansy! It's time you finally grew some balls and dealt with your pain!"
"But I-"
"OUT!!"
2D fled from the Winnebago, leaving Murdoc to curse the day he ever ran over the scrawny singer.
---Present---
"…unh…"
2D slowly opened his ebony eyes, and saw a blurry wall of white. Where was he?
"2D-san!"
2D felt Noodle tackle him, wrapping her arms around his thin frame.
"Ahh! N-Noodle, what's wrong?!" 2D asked, surprised by the Japanese girl's sudden actions.
"Y-you had passed out, 2D-san…. you would not wake up…"
"…Wh-wha…? Really…?"
The floor suddenly started creaking. 2D looked up- right into the face of Russel. The drummer's pure white eyes showed a sense of relief when he saw that 2D was awake.
"Yo, 2D, y'alright, man?" Russel asked, taking a seat in the oversized armchair across from 2D. "You had us worried for a while."
"Yeah, m'fine…" 2D nodded slowly, sitting up. After glancing around, he realized that they were all in the living room. "What 'appened?"
"Well, from what I was told," Murdoc's drawling voice cut in as he sauntered over to the couch where 2D was, "you and Noodle were being total idiots in your room when all of a sudden you just passed out. Noodle started screaming bloody murder and had us all worried about you, and I swear if there is in fact nothin' wrong with you, there WILL be after the ambulance gets here. Which should be right… about…"
Suddenly, they all heard the front door of Kong Studios open.
"Now."
---
Seeing as how 2D was now awake and fully aware of his surroundings, there was no need for him to go to the hospital. Indeed, all the paramedics did were ask him a few questions, tell him to take it easy, and then they left.
Of course, this infuriated Murdoc to no end.
"You bloody bastard," he snarled as 2D tried to ignore him by watching TV. "What the bloody hell is wrong with you?!"
"Don't-" 2D began.
"If you say 'Don't know,' I swear to Satan I will strangle you, 2D. Got it?!"
"Murdoc-san, you are being to hard on him!" Noodle protested. "If it had been you who passed out, would you want us to not worry about you?!"
"No, I wouldn't want you to worry, cuz it wouldn't happen to me!" Murdoc growled. "What the hell happened, Faceache?!"
"….my 'ead hurt," 2D began slowly. "Real bad, like a jackhammer right into my skull. I couldn' fink…"
"You can't anyways," Murdoc muttered, venom dripping from his words.
"The next thing I know, I woke up on th' sofa an' you're all askin' me if I'm okay," 2D continued. "I'm awright now, but I wasn't then.. My 'ead still kinda 'urts, a little."
"Lemme get this straight," Murdoc shook his head in disbelief. "You passed out from a bloody headache?"
"Yeah, pre'ty much."
"You're a fucking pansy," Murdoc growled, storming out of the room.
"Oi, what's 'is problem?" 2D muttered.
"Just ignore him, 2D-san," Noodle replied. "He just does not show his emotions well, I think is his problem."
"Or maybe he just don't 'ave any bloody emotions…"
---
(If I keep writing now, this chapter is going to SUCK. :D
So, you got the first of several OMFG2DNO scenes. xD Murdoc's unprecedented level of assholiness is due to a severe beer shortage.
Russel won't be mentioned that often. It's not that I don't like him, it's just that… he's not my absolute favorite character.
If you review, I might give you a cookie and shorten my rants :3
PS: If you're having trouble understanding 2D, you can replace most of the f's with th's.)