This wasn't exactly how she envisioned being a queen would be. She had once pictured herself as an all proud and powerful consort, standing side by side and on equal footing with her husband the king. How far were those imaginations from her current condition now. Kneeling on the cold hard wood; her hands and knees thrust painfully in a position she never once took in all her life. All she could see is a blurred vision of brown. Her tears pooled on the floor as she begged for the life of her son. So this was what mother felt? And I pushed her away.
It wasn't the first time threats happened, but it was certainly the first time the king got physical. Although scorn emanated from him every time they chance upon each other, they would rather exchange venomous words than literally tear each other apart. Because of this, Yeon Hwa only had her son to share her grievances to. The queen tried very hard not to badmouth her in front of the king. But with her son, she oftentimes let her mouth speak uncontrolled. In the back of her mind, she knew this wasn't the right way to raise her child. In fact, they have been fortunate enough that Ju didn't blabber about how she called her a 'bitch', 'whore', or 'scum of the earth'.
But this time, Ju let the words slip from his mouth. A part of her was satisfied at first. Hearing Ju call her a 'vile slut' in front of So gave her an indescribable yet petty triumph. That quickly changed when the orbs of the king turned into a deep and dangerous obsidian. In a quick succession of things, Gwangjong was simultaneously making Ju's face bleed and pining him on the pillar, choking his neck.
Her Ju, a master swordsman, a seasoned warrior, an accomplished scholar, her crown prince and son, was powerless in front of the emperor. He was trying to remove Gwangjong's iron grip on his neck, but is pathetically failing at doing so. The more he struggled, the more the king tightened his hold.
"Your Majesty, please!," Yeon Hwa dropped to her knees. Her face was so close to the floor that she could smell the scent of old wood. She was helpless, absolutely helpless. The only thing she could do for her son was contort her face into agony and wail like a madman. But Gwangjong's hand was immovable, and his lips curled into a cruel smirk.
"Why don't I just kill this miscreant like his cousins?," the king looked straight into Ju's eyes. The prince's blood ran cold as he heard the steely voice of his father. He saw nothing but hatred in the king's eyes, and if Gwangjong really wanted to, he'd snap his neck easily without remorse.
The queen's sobs grew louder. Her son's face was turning blue and though she could not believe it, in the back of her mind, she knew the king could really kill Ju. By gods she hated him, despised him with all her heart. In this room, no one is going to save her child, only her.
"Why are you so cruel?" she finally spat at Gwangjong. Her pretty nose and lips scrunched with anger and displeasure. The queen's colored face was now soiled with tears.
Gwangjong cackled at Yeon Hwa's attempt to tap his conscience. He threw down Ju towards his mother, and the prince found himself desperately gasping for air. Yeon Hwa immediately went to her son and asked if he was alright, but Ju pushed his mother's hands away angrily.
The king walked towards the two people who now lay down on the floor, completely at his mercy. They looked so unfortunate, but Gwangjong was unfeeling. Though they were technically his family, he felt nothing. He towered over them, and as he spoke, the queen and prince shivered in fear, "Why am I cruel, Queen? You should ask yourself that. Why are you so cruel?"
Yeon Hwa looked up at him, her eyes wide with disbelief, "What are you-"
"What, you haven't told your bastard child how you forced marriage on me by threatening my people? How your mother warned me with death so that she can offer you to me like a whore? How you betrayed your mother and brother just so you can have my seed?," every word felt like a slap on the queen's face. She could not, would not, refute the horrible truth of their matrimony. Anyway, what is there to be sorry for? She was the empress. She would be the one written in the history books. She would be queen mother one day. Not that dead girl. Such are the sacrifices made in the name of ambition.
"You and your now pathetic powerless clan made me into the king I am today." Gwangjong's declaration hit Yeon Hwa like a boulder. He crouched down in front of her and used a finger to slowly raise her chin. He would never raise his hand on her, at least he respected her that much to try not to hit her. But everything else that he was doing to their so-called family was just as bad for Yeon Hwa. "You have known me for years, sister. Did you really think you could manipulate me that much without repercussions?"
Gwangjong finally stood up and turned his back from the two; not even sparing a glance at his son who was bloodied on the floor. "With Soo, I would have been benevolent. I would have been sparing. With her guidance, I'd have been a compassionate ruler." His voice slightly faltered. If one did not pay attention, one would not hear the change in Gwangjong's countenance the moment he spoke of the woman he loved. "But you chose this, queen. You chose this life. Suffer it."
The king finally walked back to the throne. As his black regal robes glided effortlessly, Yeon Hwa and Ju could only watch in fear and disdain, "Get out of my sight quickly. I don't want to see your miserable faces." he uttered coldly as he sat down on the phoenix throne. The queen got back to her feet and tried to help her injured son, who had no choice but to seek the physical support of his mother. "Oh, and prince, be filial. You should stop using words that describe your mother."
Yeon Hwa warily approached Ju who was seated on the porch of her residence. He was nursing a broken nose and possibly a broken rib. His face was blank, and his general feature was indescribable.
"Ju, my son, how are you? It's getting dark, you should go back to your wife now," she tried to soothe him and change his blank demeanor. She closed the space between them and touched his shoulders lightly.
"Do you regret it, mother? Do you regret entering this miserable life and dragging me with you?," Ju said monotonously. Though he was expressionless, his words dripped with contempt and years of pent up anger.
She quickly removed her hands on Ju's shoulders due to her shock with his question. Yeon Hwa was hurt, for sure. Nothing can be more painful for a mother than knowing that your child is disappointed with you. But at the same time, her pride was preventing her from wallowing in self-pity, "I did what I had to do. I did not want to be used as a sacrificial princess. I am ambitious, Ju. That much, I will proudly confess."
The prince did not reply for a while. Instead, he kept looking at the setting sun. The burnt color of the sky was now mixing with the purplish hue of the night, "Did you hear how father's voice changed when he talked about that woman? He called her by her name; while he only calls me, you, and my sisters by our titles."
It was now Yeon Hwa's turn to grow quiet. She never shared her emotional pain when it comes to her husband, if she could even call him that. It had been a long time since they got married. Not once did Gwangjong willingly visit her in her quarters, not once did he willingly sleep with her. He would not even send for medicines when she was sick or in labor. Yeon Hwa would be lying if she said she didn't wish for his affection. She thought that maybe things would change through the years. However, her husband only grew colder, more distant, and more bitter.
But what use was that now, really. She was already in her forties. Love was a useless, distant figment of the mind, "I don't need his love, Ju. I am an empress. I got the power that I want. You should know how to prioritize things."
Ju chuckled emptily, "Don't fool yourself, mother. You're about as powerful as a slave in this kingdom."
Cruel, but with a hint of truth. A woman who has been dead for years held more authority in Goryeo than her.
Author's Notes: I was inspired by the stories of the talented PixelButterfly and sandufus. PixelButterfly wrote about the angsty relationship of father and son in the story After the Moon Has Faded. While sandufus had this sentence in the story EPILOGUE I Will Find You: "He made sure the nobles felt the brunt of it. He never let them forget their part in separating him from Hae Soo ... He made them regret ever choosing a heartless king over a more benevolent one." Both stories are really great reads!