Kanaya Maryam walked down the streets of New Earthernia early one morning. Supposedly the new world was an equal mix of Alternia and the human's home world Earth, but since Kanaya had never seen their alien friends home world beyond the small view from her screen she couldn't tell. She was grateful to the humans for making the world habitable to both of their races, when she expressed her gratitude they told her that that's what friends do. Such a response perplexed Kanaya; it wasn't that her own friends were selfish, or at least most of them weren't all the time, but they were different from the humans nonetheless.
If asked, most of the other trolls would be willing to give their assistance or support in any endeavor that didn't involve annihilating the species, but that was just it. Save for perhaps Feferi, Nepeta, and herself, very few of the other trolls would be willing to offer their support without prompting. Tavros and Aradia would be willing perhaps Kanaya admitted, but first Tavros would have to get over his shyness and make the offer and Aradia would have to be in one of her more focused moods throughout, so the chance of those two offering help without being asked was rather low. Yet, even such behavior seemed so alien to troll kind seemed almost second nature to the humans, they would constantly anticipate the needs of any others around and act accordingly without any communication at all. That wasn't to say that humans couldn't be selfish, but on a whole they seemed to be more open with giving; perhaps they, or one of them, would have more sarcastic complaints to go along, but they would still lend a hand with a smile on their lips.
Kanaya let out a soft, yet dignified, sigh there was another reason that she was out here so early to do here shopping when the shops were just barely opened by the consorts. She picked out some nice light green fabric from a bubbly salamander and gave his two boondollars for the exchange. No one besides her and the consorts was up at this hour, even if Earthernia's sun didn't burn the flesh of trolls other than herself, the rest of her species was still adjusting to being active during the day. Not even the humans were awake at this time usually, which gave Kanaya time to think, something that often eluded her when surrounded by others who always needed something! It wasn't that she didn't enjoy helping her friends, but sometimes, she just couldn't put up with the whining.
But the real reason Kanaya always got up so early to have time for herself was because it made her feel less awkward when thinking about quadrats. She liked to think that she was above obsessing about such things, like Eridan or Vriska, but in truth Kanaya found herself thinking more and more about her two empty quadrants as time went on. It was easier to ignore them when they started Sgrub; the constant fighting with monsters tended to take over her thoughts more, but surprisingly enough several of her fellow players didn't seem to have that problem. And when they were trapped in Veil, Kanaya spent more time trying to keep all of her friends alive than find partners to fill her quadrants. She failed at that time, to keep all of her friends alive, after everything was said and done it mattered little, but she still couldn't help the helpless feelings she had as one by one her friend's lives were snuffed out. That time was over though; they had settled things with Jack and Lord English and somehow came out victorious with their rag-tag crew of heroes. They were rewarded for their efforts, a whole new world as was the games purpose and all of their friends returned to life.
Now with the dangers gone, slowly yet surely, they started to fill each other's quadrants; which Kanaya was a bit bitter about. While she had succeeded in filling her pale and ashen quadrant, her caliginous and flushed remained empty and lacked any prospects. There was no doubt that she was happy for her friends finding those special ones to be close too and she wasn't the only one who was alone in that department, but still she felt so bitter when she watched the others scurry about trying to find the one scurry about trying to find the one. If she could join them it would be one thing, but do to her preferences, it left her with fewer options than the rest. It wasn't like she hadn't tried, when night the danger had passed she had met with Vriska to see if there was anything that remained of her longstanding red crush on the blueblood. But like before the relationship was one sided, Vriska showed her much affection during their trial relationship, but Vriska was too greedy and ambitious to devote herself to only one partner. It may have made sense to Vriska, but Kanaya couldn't bear it anymore, and though Kanaya still ached to be close to her, they decided that it was better to break it off then and there. So Kanaya lost her potential matesprit that she had loved from afar for sweeps; they remained close friends, but Kanaya couldn't bear the pain of putting Vriska into any quadrant than red, so friends were all they would ever be. Vriska moved on to attempt a black romance with Tavros, Gamzee already filling his flushed quadrant, and Kanaya attempted to move on as well.
It was hard though, while Vriska may not be able to be tied down, she certainly didn't like to give up what she had no matter what. Every now and then she would play with Kanaya's feelings, if only to remind her that the spidertroll would always be a part of the rainbowdrinker's heart, regardless of her want to toss her out. Sometimes Vriska's reminders were subtle, at least for her; an extra-long cuddle when they embraced each other as friends, promenading through the village in one of the outfits that Kanaya, one made that made even the blueblood's boney curves look sensual, or when she would play flirt with one of the others and then give Kanaya a wink. Other times Vriska's actions towards the jade blood weren't so subtle such as lounging naked on one of the couches of her hive as if she owned the places and dragging the rainbowdrinker into an empty alleyway for a quick grope and sloppy make out session. Vriska always knew what she was doing, but she didn't care, on some levels she may have felt bad about the way she treated her friend, but on other more primal levels she got off on knowing she could drag Kanaya in to her bed with but a few words.
After the fiasco with Vriska officially ended, and unofficially continued to this day, Kanaya attempted to turn to the other girl she was closest too, the human Rose. She had been intrigued with the pale alien since they first discovered the creatures so long ago; her wit and beauty made Kanaya blush jade just thinking about her, and the signals that Kanaya thought Rose was sending her made her wish beyond anything that this snarky broad was the one. But alas that was another red relationship that would never be, as Rose found love in the arms of the human John, such an odd combination of personalities, but as frustrated she was at John when she first heard the news Kanaya wished them well. Rose was more attentive than Vriska was and saw what Kanaya had been pushing for in their friendship and apologized for leading her on, unintentional though it was. The pity the pale blonde felt for Kanaya wasn't at all red enough to be matesprit material, but Kanaya admitted she had deluded herself just fine in seeing things that weren't there. But Rose wasn't a long infatuation, so when she came out and told her that there wasn't no way a red romance was to be formed it stung more than hurt. However though she once again lost a potential matesprit she did find a sympathetic moiral in the girl which helped dampen the sting, but still left an empty feeling.
After being passed over by Rose Kanaya decided that to take a break from the red search, if her heart was broken again she didn't know what she would do. She instead devoted herself to her work, sewing, and her ashen responsibilities as the auxiliatrix to almost everyone on the planet, how was it once put, the village's two-wheeled device when it comes to auspisticing. It was in some ways rewarding when done correctly and filled her with warmth, but even in the best cases, when all was said and done, Kanaya was still very lonely.
While she wasn't even half done with her errands, Kanaya took the time to sit on one of the large rocks at the edge of their small village and warm herself under the new sun's rays. The light felt good on her pale grey skin, much different from the sun of their home world that was so harsh even to her that she rarely engaged such activities. It was simple pleasures like this that allowed her to forget about her relationship problems and other responsibilities, if only for a few blissful moments. Perhaps she shouldn't have sat down, she was far more tired that she realized, her rainbowdrinker body only felt slight fatigue when her old body would be screaming for rest, but even it had its limits. Before she realized it Kanaya's eyes started to grow heavy and she fell to half-awake daze.
Thankfully the dreams of Alternia's past weren't as strong on their new home, but from time to time one of the more traumatizing moments would slip into the unconscious mind. If asked later what the dream was about Kanaya would be unable to tell the full details of it, the little she remembered of the dream made even less sense. The only thing she remembered about her dream was that in it she was a young troll girl wearing attire similar to the fairy girl outfit she had made Vriska sweeps ago. Whoever the sharply dressed girl was didn't matter at the time as she was being hunted by a huge and feral feline lusi, she ran for hours until she reached the cliff edge. Just after she turned around she saw the feline lusi pounce towards her and the fear she felt seemed so real that if she wasn't jarred awake at that moment, Kanaya thought that she may have died for real as strange as that sounded.
"The curious huntress slowly tries to discofur if the sleeping rainbowdrinker is prey or some new exciting creature," an adorable voice abruptly roused the sleeping jadeblood from her nap and in her surprise to see Nepeta's face on her lap, looking up at Kanaya with her huge adorable smile. Due to the nature of her awakening Kanaya let out a surprise yelp and tumbled head over heels from off the rock. This would surely be considered humorous by an observer Kanaya thought as she remained where she tumbled for a moment if only to try and pretend such an event didn't occur. "I'm sorry Kanaya," Nepeta managed to get out as she tried to stifle her giggles; "if I knew waking you would of clawused you to wake so erratically I wouldn't of." But as Kanaya was too embarrassed to move much less answer Nepeta's face turned to worry and dropped any hint of the humor moments before, "you're not hurt are you Kanaya? I'm so sorry I really didn't think that it would frighten you that much." Now Nepeta was worrying far too much for Kanaya to allow.
"I am quite alright Nepeta; I was just a little startled that's all. The only thing on me that is bruised is my pride, and perhaps my bottom," Kanaya said absolving the cattroll's guilt while giving her bottom a nice pat down to make sure everything was still attached. "It wasn't your fault at all; in fact I'm glad that you woke me when you did, I was caught in a rather frightening and realistic daymare. If you hadn't come along I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't come along so gallantly with your practical jokes; after all we've experienced I've learned to not underestimate the power of dreams. So I lay no blame upon you, in fact I am most grateful as your actions may have saved me from a terrible fate." Kanaya said gently patting Nepeta's head between her horns in a playful manner. She didn't actually believe that just because she would have been killed in the dream that her waking self would be in any danger, but it didn't hurt to be careful and to stroke the cattroll's ego a bit.
Nepeta let out a sigh of relief when she learned that Kanaya wasn't hurt by her actions and to be honest her cheeks were colored a light green at the rainbowdrinker's praise of her. "What was the dream about, if I may ask?" She asked curiously with a slight tilt of her head.
Kanaya turned her head away from the cattroll and returned to sit on the rock to contemplate her dream, to be honest she didn't even remember most of it. "I can't remember really, just bits and pieces, no need to concern you over," Kanaya assured her.
"Alright, if you're sure." Nepeta said knowing that Kanaya wasn't telling the whole truth to her, but for the moment she would let it go. "You know you can always talk to me Kanaya," Nepeta swore to the jade blood as she gave her an unexpected hug. "After all I can do more than just rescue pretty trolls from danger," she gave Kanaya another grin before hopping off her.
Now it was Kanaya's turn to blush, but Nepeta's promise did make her feel good inside, almost as good as the hug did. She wrote off the slightly red feelings that she may be feeling at the moment to the lack of physical contact with anyone else though, not the cattroll. To be honest she knew that she could be feeling such feelings about Nepeta; though they were friends and enjoyed each other's company the two of them had never been particularly close to each other. No, her feelings certainly came from her long dry spell and Nepeta waking her from her troubling dream, not the cattroll herself. Kanaya was sure that she would be feeling the same way for Eridan or Dave if they had acted similarly to how Nepeta had. "I appreciate it Nepeta, I truly do," Kanaya said in an attempt to push such outrageous thoughts out her head. "I will keep that in mind. But I must ask, what are you doing up and about so early? It is not even midday yet, the rest of our kind don't normally wake this hour for anything and you particularly need your rest do to your late night hunts."
The smile on Nepeta's face fell before Kanaya could finish her thought, not completely leaving, but becoming more of a fake grin. "It's nothing really; I just kind of wanted to be able to talk to you and I know that you are the only one up early so I thought I might as well get up early too." Kanaya could smell the nervousness in Nepeta, not the same embarrassed nervousness that Kanaya all too often felt, Nepeta was afraid of something.
"Nepeta it's quite alright, if you need to talk to me than please feel welcome," Kanaya brushed her arm gently in an attempt to prove that Nepeta was safe with her regardless of what she wanted to talk about.
Nepeta took hold of Kanaya's hand for a moment as if she didn't believe that it was real, but eventually she gave the graceful troll girl a sincere smile. "Thanks Kanaya I'm gratefur. It's just… it's something that I need to talk about in private," she explained while looking over her shoulder.
Kanaya was really curious now, "if that is what you want Nepeta we can talk in my hive, no one will be there I promise. If you give me an hour to finish up my errands I will meet you there and we can talk however long you would like." Kanaya offered.
"I can help you if you want!" Nepeta exclaimed quickly. But realizing what she sounded like she looked down with green cheeks, "you meow… with the errands. I would feel weird waiting in your hive all alone, like waiting for prey since I know you aren't. This way I can help you finish up early and you won't have to rush on my account."
For a moment Kanaya just looked at the silly troll before her trying to justify her words and forced herself to stifle a laugh. "Truthfully I would welcome both the company and some help if you would like to join me," she said reaching for her basket, but Nepeta beat her too it.
"I'll get that for you, I'm supposed to help you remeowmber, the least I can do is carry the baskitty, for you." Nepeta took the basket and started towards town, whatever was going on with her at least for now she seemed happier and Kanaya followed her wondering what the greenblood wanted to talk about that needed to be so secret.