Author's Note: The following takes place sometime after the events of first 2 seasons, and shortly after end of second season of the show.
(Loud residence, evening. Lincoln is in his room, reading some comics. He puts them aside, takes his VR goggles and goes to the hallway to play the game, but instantly stops as soon as he's about to put the goggles on his head. Remembering something, he goes to Lori's and Leni's room, with VR goggles still in his hand. He looks at it, and sees Lori doing what she's doing best - chatting with Bobby, who still lives next door, though. This gives him an unpleasant memory of something that happened a long while ago.)
Flashback to events of "Get the Message".
(Lincoln is playing his VR game with breakdancing...until inadvertently steps into Lori's and Leni's room, much to former's rage.)
Lori: Lincoln!
Lincoln: (takes the goggles off and sees Lori making an angry face at him) AAAAAHHHHH!
Lori: There's only one rule in this house: Stay out of my bedroom! If I catch you in here again, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel!
Flashback ends, back to present.
(The flashback Lincoln just had made him refrain from playing his game, then Lori notices him standing outside her room.)
Lori: Linco-
Lincoln: I'm leaving, I'm leaving! (quickly walks off)
(Lori actually wanted to talk to him about something, but shrugged it off, and thought to do it a bit later. Lincoln retreats to his room, puts his VR goggles back on the table, and goes out to hallway again. He sees his second elder sister there, Leni, who's just being her ditzy, but cheery self. This doesn't relieve him, however, as he remembers how brutally he made her scream that one time with his spider, Frances.)
Flashback to events of "Along Came a Sister".
(Just as Lincoln thought everything's cool, Frances laid her egg sac in the vents; the babies hatch and scurry into Leni's room, much to the latter's utter horror.)
Leni: AAAAAAAHHHHH! SPIDERS!
(Lincoln has so shocked look on his face that just reads "Ah...s$&t".)
Flashback ends, back to present.
(After remembering such shocking moment, he decides not to bother her for now. He wanders around the hallway, until stops, sees door to Luna and Luan's door on the right...and notices a bit bent wall on his left. This gives him another nasty memory of what happened a while ago.)
Flashback to events of "It's a Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud, House".
(The Loud kids were very busy with their scavenge hunt. Lincoln comes to Luna's and Luan's room, only for the former to kick him out the most brutal way possible just so he "won't interfere".)
Lincoln: Hey, what the-
(Luna busts out one of her big amps.)
Luna: STAY OUT! THIS IS OUR TURF! (blasts Lincoln with a killer wail, and he flies straight into the wall)
Flashback ends, back to present.
(The flashback Lincoln just had caused him to shiver in concern for a bit. He enters Luna's and Luan's room, just to see how are they. He sees Luna, who's playing normal guitar while singing along, and then he sees his comedian sister in her corner, playing around with Mr. Coconuts. He remembers how he almost ruined her business for good.)
Flashback to events of "Funny Business".
Lincoln:(high-pitched voice while covered in balloons) I went a little overboard with the helium. Whoa, good gravy! (falls back as a loud crash is heard, getting the kids to laugh and cheer)
(This causes Luan to shake in rage and jealously, and with that, quits the party while stomping.)
Flashback ends, back to present.
(Lincoln, after remembering that, now really feels guilty. Seeing both Luna and Luan altogether does not pleases him, however, as he remembers one little incident between himself, his rocking and comedian sister, respectively.)
Flashback to events of "Garage Banned".
(In the living room, Luna is strumming her guitar and Lincoln is reading a comic, until Luan runs in, angry.)
Luan: Dang it, Luna! Your fog machine warped Mr. Coconuts' head! (shows her dummy's disfigured head)
Luna: Can't prove it, dude!
Luan: Lincoln, tell her she has to pay to get him fixed!
Lincoln: Um...okay. Luna, I think Luan has a point. You should pay up.
Luna: (shaking her fist threateningly) You wanna think again, brah?
Lincoln: Yes, I do. Luan, I think you should accept that fog machines are a part of life.
Luan: (as the facially disfigured Mr. Coconuts) I wouldn't be too hasty, Slick! My cousin's a baseball bat!
Flashback ends, back to present.
(Lincoln saddens now from such memory. He leaves their room, and now goes to Lynn's and Lucy's one. He enters, to see how are they doing. He looks at his jock sister, who's practicing with her soccer ball. Now Lynn is the last sister he wants to have a flashback about, because of a certain incident that he'll never forget.)
Flashback to events of "No Such Luck".
(Lincoln is getting upstairs, reaches hallway, then Lynn pops in front of him.)
Lynn: Hey, Lincoln! You're coming to my softball game today, right?
Lincoln: Dang it. Should've done a head count. (to Lynn) Actually, Lynn, I've got some important business to attend to. Like Ace Savvy VS the Card Shark. (holds out comic)
Lynn: Lame. My team has won our last six games, and you're the only member of this family who hasn't come out to support me.
Lincoln: That's because I was supporting six other sisters at their things. Sorry, Lynn, I just can't do it today.
Lynn: (holding her bat threateningly) Sure you won't reconsider?
(We cut to that fateful aftermath of the game sometime later.)
Lincoln: Hey, sis. I'm really sorry you lost.
(Lynn yelps and hides behind a dumpster.)
Lincoln: Hey.
Lynn: (holding a rotten banana peel) Stay back! You're bad luck! (tosses the peel at Lincoln)
Lincoln: What are you talking about?
Lynn: My team has been dominating all season, then the one time you show up, we lose!
Lincoln: That's ridiculous. I'm not bad luck.
Lynn: Yeah-huh, you are! Which is why I'm banning you from all future games. Now scram! I have to make things right with the softball gods. (does her Cossack dance again) Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut! Hutta-hut!
(Then we cut to that moment when Lincoln thought he could use the accusation just so he can get more alone time, and with that, we see a montage of Lincoln fooling the rest of his sisters into believing that he is bad luck indeed. He succeeds at that as time goes on, going as far as breaking Lori's golf clubs...then sometime later, the sisters decide to take action, and that's when things really started to go downhill. That fateful evening, he gets ready for bed, only to find out that his door is now boarded up and bound with hazard tape, and there's a note on it.)
Lincoln: (reading note) "Sorry, Lincoln, but you can't sleep here tonight. We can't just risk it." Are you kidding me?!
Sisters: NO! (slam their doors shut, Lincoln scowls at this)
(Lincoln goes outside to Charles' doghouse.)
Lincoln: Hey, buddy, think I could bunk here for the night? (Charles growls at him) You too, Charles?
(He looks around for somewhere to sleep. The next day, it's revealed he was sleeping on a pile of leaves with a squirrel on his head. He shoos the squirrel away, brushes the leaves off, spits out an acorn, shakes more acorns out of his pants and goes up to the back door only to find that it's locked.)
Lincoln: Guys? I think you accidentally locked me out!
(His breakfast is shoved through the doggy door and he peeks through the window on the door.)
Rita: Kids, we've got a special treat for you! Since your father's presentation went so well...
Lynn Sr.: And your mother's root canals, too...
Rita: ...we thought we'd celebrate with a trip to the beach tomorrow.
(The sisters all cheer and Lincoln pops his head through the doggy door.)
Lincoln: We're going to the beach tomorrow?
Lynn Sr.: Ooh, gosh. Sorry, son. Not you. Someone could get attacked by a shark.
Lynn: Or caught in a riptide.
Luna: Or stung by a jellyfish.
Lana: (gasps) If that happens, I call peeing on the wound!
Lincoln: (dejected) Come on, you guys! Be reasonable!
Lola: You're bad luck, Lincoln! You can't come! (closes the doggy door on him)
Lincoln: I guess I brought this on myself.
(And if that wasn't devastating enough for the poor Loud boy, he thought he could prove that he's not bad luck by wearing the ill-fated squirrel suit, which he did later in the day. He hoped that it worked...and it did, indeed.)
Baseball Announcer: It's going...it's going...IT'S GONE! LYNN LOUD HITS A GRAND SLAM! SQUIRRELS WIN! SQUIRRELS WIN!
(The family and Bobby cheer for Lynn as she makes her run around the field.)
Baseball Announcer: (clinging to Pep) SQUIRRELS WIN! SQUIRRELS WIN! (knocks Pep down)
(Lynn finishes her run and gets picked up by her family in celebration of her victory.)
Family: CONGRATULATIONS! YOU ROCKED IT, LYNN-SANITY!
(Lincoln in disguise joins them.)
Lola: (to the mascot) Um, do you mind, fur ball? This is a family moment.
Lincoln: Guys, it's me! (takes the mask off) I was here the whole time! This proves it. I'm not bad luck.
Lynn: Oh my gosh, you're right. Wow, Lincoln, I'm really sorry.
(The rest of the family apologizes.)
Rita: Sorry we sold all your furniture.
Lincoln: (shocked) Wait. What?
(We cut to the worst moment of the incident, most painful, and tear-jerking...the beach.)
Lola: Hey, Lincoln! (shouting) Put the head back on before we get stung by a jellyfish!
(The rest of the family is enjoying their time with beach activities.)
Lincoln: But unfortunately, only when I'm in the squirrel suit. (puts the head back on)
(An iris comes on Lincoln's exasperated face, pauses for a moment, and closes completely.)
Flashback ends, back to present.
(The flashback was most indeed one of the worst two he had now, and it causes him to grimace and shed tears from sadness, horror and shock. He wipes them up and quickly regains composure, then looks at Lucy. He remembers how because of his goth sister he was accused of clogging the toliet that one time.)
Flashback to events of "Sleuth or Consequences".
(Lincoln enters the bathroom, then suddenly, water from the toilet gushes out.)
Lori: Gross! Lincoln! You clogged the toilet again? (all sisters glare at him)
Lola: I'm telling Dad! (goes to do so)
Lincoln: What makes you think I did it?
Luan: Maybe because you made more clogs than a Dutch shoe factory! (laughs during rimshot)
(Cut to montage of Lincoln dumping stuff in the toliet, then cut back to confrontation.)
Lincoln: All true. But this time, it wasn't me. I swear!
(Lola brings Lynn Sr. up and is holding a plunger.)
Lynn Sr.: Well, there goes my Saturday.
Lana: (moves Lola aside and busts out an even heavier plunger known as Big Bertha.) Forget that pitiful plunger, Dad. This is a class 5 clog. You're gonna need Big Bertha!
Lynn Sr.: Well, Mr. Flush-My-CD's-Down-The-Can, I assume this was your doing?
Lincoln: No, Dad! For real! It was not me!
Lynn Sr.: Well, somebody did it! Toilets don't just clog themselves! Until one of you fesses up, everyone's grounded!
(The sisters complain about this unjust decision.)
Lincoln: But Dad, I can't be grounded! The convention's in a few hours and I gotta get my Ace Savvy comic signed!
Lynn Sr.: Until I know who did the crime, you're all doing the time!
(Then sometime later during that incident, the so-called "confession" came in. Lucy gets ready to confess.)
Lucy: Excuse me...I have something to say... (gets their attention and reveals the book) This is what totaled the toilet.
Lisa: Princess Pony?!
(The sisters laugh at such development.)
Lynn: Which one of you lame-o's does that belong to?
Lisa: Certainly not me! It's so sickeningly sweet I get a toothache just looking at it!
Leni: (terrified at Lisa's exaggeration) Can that really happen?
Luan: Whoever that belongs to is gonna be the laughing stock of this house!
Lori: Yeah! They are literally worse than Lincoln! And he wears his underwear on the outside!
(The other sisters laugh some more and Lucy knows she has to face the music; Lincoln notices Lucy's pain and feels bad for her.)
Lucy: Actually...the book belongs to-
Lincoln: Me!
Luan, Leni, Lynn, Lana, Lola, Lisa, Lori, and Luna: (flabbergasted) YOU?!
Lincoln: I didn't want to tell you because I knew you'd make fun of me.
Lori: (sounding sympathetic) Aw, Lincoln... (now condescending) ...of course, we're gonna make fun of you! But only for the rest of your life! (Luna, and Lola look at him smugly)
Lincoln: (undeterred) I'm looking forward to it. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll go tell-
Lola: (doing it for him) DAD! IT WAS LINCOLN WHO CLOGGED THE TOILET!
Lynn Sr.: LINCOLN, YOU'RE GROUNDED! GIRLS, YOU'RE NO LONGER GROUNDED!
(The other sisters cheer and celebrate their freedom.)
Lucy: Why did you do that?
Lincoln: Because you were right. I can handle the teasing. I'm quite comfortable with who I am. Obviously! But don't worry. Someday, you'll be, too. Until then, your big brother's got your back.
Lucy: (smiling and grateful) Thanks, Lincoln.
Flashback ends, back to present.
(Even though Lincoln was really defending Lucy and wasn't regretting it, he was still, no matter what, hurt deep on the inside, from the nasty teasing he was having. He is shaking head in despondency. He leaves the room, and goes to his twin sisters' one, to see how are they doing. He enters their room, and sees both of them at their business. Lola is seen in the middle of her playful tea party with her stuffed animals, while Lana is socializing with her animals. Once again, this does not make him happy, because of one incident that he wished it never happened at all.)
Flashback to events of "Toads and Tiaras".
Lincoln: Lana, how would you like a season pass to Dairyland?
(The same heavenly background appears again with Lana gasping with joy.)
Choir: HALLELUJAH!
Lana: (fighting the temptation) Don't toy with me, Lincoln!
Lincoln: I'm not! All you have to do is one teensy, tiny, little thing.
Lana: (desperate) What is it? I'll do anything!
Lincoln: You just have to take Lola's place in the Little Miss Prim and Perfect Pageant and win.
Lana: (nauseated) Are you kidding me?! Bleh! Do you know who you're talking to?
Lincoln: (determined) Someone who's going to love Dairyland's newest ride... (shows a pamphlet of the ride) ...the Milk Shaker. It's so fast, you can barf, fly around a loop, and get hit in the face with said barf.
Lana: (giving in) Darn you, Lincoln! I am in! (worried with realization) But wait. What if Lola finds out? You know what she's capable of.
(An image of Lola looking on demonically with hellfire in the background is shown as a cultist choir chants. Lincoln and Lana shudder with terror.)
Lincoln: She won't find out. I promise.
(They shake on it with Lana getting mud on Lincoln's hand.)
Lincoln: Bleh. First off, we gotta clean you up. Dirt on your face gets you last place.
(Then we cut to that moment when Lana wins at the pageant, while still disguised as her other twin sister.)
Lincoln: Whoo-hoo! That's my sister!
Lola: (runs in, grabs and holds him against the wall with her crutch) AND THIS IS YOUR OTHER SISTER!
Lincoln: Wait! It's my fault, not Lana's! It was all my idea!
Lola: I have worked four years to build my pageant reputation! AND YOU JUST RUINED IT!
Flashback ends, back to present.
(Lincoln again feels guilty for putting against his twin sisters' wishes, and for pulling that "stunt" off. He leaves their room, as always, and lastly, he goes to Lisa's and Lily's room. He enters it, and sees Lisa doing of her classic experiments. He looks at his prodigy sister...and remembers how his friends, expect for Clyde, berated him for having sister that can always outsmart them, causing him to make her "average" that one time.)
Flashback to events of "Making the Grade".
(The school cafeteria, day. Lincoln walks up to his peers who are not happy right now.) (Later on that day, the Loud residence, day. Lincoln knocks on the door to Lisa's and Lily's room.)
Lincoln: Hey, guys. Make a little room. (They look at him and refuse to make room.) It's me, L-Train! What's the problem?
Liam: The problem is your sister.
Lincoln: Look, I know Lisa's different, but she'll grow on you. (tries nudging into the table) Now, if I could just-
Rusty: Sorry, you're sitting over there. (points to a particularly extremely dirty table)
Lincoln: (terrified) The sticky table!? (fumes with frustration)
Lisa: Lincoln, enter. I'm just drafting a proposal to eliminate recess.
Lincoln: That's exactly what I need to talk to you about. You're acting way too smart in class. It's annoying everyone, and they're taking it out on me. Could you please just try and act like an average kid?
Lisa: That's like asking a sea cucumber to act like a cephalopod. (Lincoln has a blank stare to that response with crickets chirping) I see someone didn't do his science homework.
Lincoln: Lisa, please. Thanks to you, I've been banished to the sticky table. Look at these pants! (shows a milk carton stuck to his butt)
Lisa: I sympathize with your plight, Lincoln, and I suppose that acting average could be a fascinating sociological challenge. Okay, I'll do it.
Lincoln: Thank you. You're the best. (hugs her)
Flashback ends, back to present.(As always, Lincoln feels guilty for putting his younger prodigy sister through that painful trouble. He finally looks at his youngest sister, Lily. The white-haired male gets just a little bit relieved, since he didn't do much to Lily, and vice versa, compared to the rest of his sisters. He leaves their room.)Lynn Sr.: Kids! Dinner!
(All of Loud siblings are going downstairs for dinner. They've all gather before a single, but big dinner table, and proceed to dig in their foods. But Lincoln eats slowly because he's very depressed, looks at all of his sisters in sadness, and is about to remember the nasty moments when he was inadvertently causing his sisters to be against him. First thing that comes to mind is that infamous trophy incident from a while ago.)Flashback to events of "Making the Case".(Lincoln and Clyde are walking from school after the former posted the controversial video of his sisters.)
Clyde: You can't get pulverized, Lincoln! I'd never be able to find another best friend!
Lincoln: You won't have to. After I win the trophy on Friday, I'll just delete the video.
Clyde: (hugs his best friend) Just in case...we had a good run, buddy.
Lincoln: Don't worry, Clyde. My sisters will never know.
(But just as he opens the door, his sisters are right there, and they are incredibly furious. Lori is holding her cell phone with the video on it. This is something Lincoln will find hard to forget at all.)
Clyde: They know.
(The sisters rant about Lincoln's video.)
Lincoln: Wait, wait, wait! Let me explain!
Lori: You've got exactly three seconds before we pulverize you!
(Lynn cracks her knuckles and Lisa starts a stopwatch to time Lincoln's very limited time.)
Lincoln: There was this video contest at school and I really wanted to win!
Lola: YOU SHOWED MY SLEEP FACE FOR SOME STUPID CONTEST?!
Lincoln: I just wanted a trophy to put in the case like you guys!
Luna: You think you deserve a trophy for that, bro?
Lincoln: No. I don't deserve it. Look! I'll delete the video!
Lucy: Too late, Lincoln. The damage has already been done.
Lynn: You made me look like a fool!
Lucy: You made me look like a freak!
Lori: You made me look like I fart! And for the record, it was these shoes! See? (tries to make it look like they were making the farting noise, but fails, as expected) Of course it's not working now.
Lincoln: Lori, I'm sorry! Wait! (chases after his sisters, then Clyde leaves nervously) Luna, let me explain!
Luna: (drowning Lincoln out with heavy metal frustration) Can't hear ya, bro! (slams her door)Lincoln: Leni! Lori! I'm sorry!
Lori: You literally disgust me!
Leni: Yeah! (walks into the wall and gets dragged in by Lori)
Lincoln: Lola! Lana! Please!
Lola: You're uninvited to my birthday party FOREVER! (slams the door)
(Lincoln sighs and Lana opens it which he thinks she will forgive him.)
Lana: I wanna slam it, too! (does so)
Lincoln: (knocks on Lisa's door) Lisa! Lisa? (Lisa slides a note under the door) "Vengeance shall be mine." (turns to Lynn and Lucy) Guys, come on! I'm your brother!
(Lynn only growls in response.)
Lucy: I have no brother! (starts to close the door then opens it) I know I say that a lot, but this time...I mean it. (slams door)
Lincoln: Luan, you gotta help me! I was only doing what you said!
Luan: You broke the unspoken rule: never post a video without the person's permission!
Lincoln: Why didn't you tell me that?
Luan: Because it's unspoken. (slams door)
Flashback ends, back to present.(Now that he remembered that incident, he looks at the trophy case from behind, and notices that he still has that "award" for being so-called "Most Improved Brother". But Lincoln isn't done yet, because now he remembers how his sisters were beating the crap out of him over something called...car seat.)Flashback to events of "The Sweet Spot".(Lincoln is inside Vanzilla, napping. But then, there's a banging at the window, waking him up and it's revealed to be his sisters, looking pretty pissed.)
Lincoln: (rolls down the window) Hey, guys. What's up?
Lola: What are you up to, Lincoln?
Lincoln: (acting) Me? I'm not up to anything. Just, you know, catching some Z's in the car, like guys do.
Lori: (livid) Oh yeah? Then what's...THIS?
(They show Lincoln his seating chart, having found out about his operation.)
Lincoln: (infuriated) You went in my room?!
Lori: That's not the hot issue right now.
Lana: What's the Sweet Spot? And why are you in it?
Lincoln: Oh, it's, uh...it's the worst seat in the whole car! I put myself in it so none of you would have to suffer.
Lucy: Then why is it called the Sweet Spot?
Lincoln: Because I'm being sweet?
Lisa: (calculating on the trunk door) According to my calculations, the Sweet Spot is actually the best seat in the car for various reasons including air circulation, proximity to parental units, and the lack of chewable
adhesive on the cushion.
Lincoln: (outraged) It took me eight months to figure that out! (He headpalms in frustration, as his sisters glare angrily at him.)
Lisa: Shocker.
Lori: Well, if that's the best seat, then I should get it. (look down at her siblings) I'm the oldest.
Luna: You'd just barf all over it, dude! I should have it!
Lola: Beauty before age!
Lana: (retorts) Yeah! So I should get it!
Luna: That seat belongs to me!
Leni: No! I want it!
Lincoln: You can yell all you want, but I'm already in the seat. And possession is 9/10 of the law.
Lynn: (threatening) You're gonna possess a bruise in a minute!
(The girls all glare at Lincoln, demanding him to hand over the Sweet Spot.)
Lana: Get him!
Flashback ends, back to present.(And since that Sweet Spot incident, he vowed to never attend any family vacations ever again, adding to fact that his sisters always put him through misery every road trip. And last, but not least...he remembers one of the worst moments he had in his life, thanks to his...accidental reveal, which caused something that he'll never also forget.)Flashback to events of "Brawl in the Family".(The sisters are relieved that Lincoln finally has learned not to "interfere".)Lincoln: Heh. Well, I guess I've learned my lesson: always respect the sister fight protocol.
Lana: Glad you're finally getting it.
Lincoln: Oh, I totally do, believe me. Next time when Lynn says she needs a windshield wiper when Lisa talks, or Lana says Lola snores like Pop-Pop, I am staying out of it.
(Unfortunately for him, those insults he has heard have suddenly sparked a new feud, resulting in another brutal brawl.)
Lisa: (furiously at Lynn) You said what now, SPORTY?! (spitting on her due to her lisp)
Lola: (lividly to Lana) Oh, I snore, do I? HOW CAN YOU HEAR ME OVER ALL YOUR SLEEP-FARTING?!
(Lynn Sr. is coming out of his room with the bucket, full of used-up toilet paper.)
Lynn Sr.: Phew. Can't wait to use the real toilet.
(The girls all start bickering and then getting into a violent melee over what they said about each other that Lincoln accidentally revealed.)
Lynn Sr: AAAHH! RETREAT! RETREAT! (shuts himself back in his room)
Lincoln: WAIT FOR ME! (runs in to join his parents)
(The sisters' fight gets so intense that it starts shaking the entire vicinity of the household.)Flashback ends, back to present.(Lincoln now was really depressed after remembering everything he was put through, and thinks about nothing but depression. Lori looks around a bit, until notices how her baby brother Lincoln looks really sad and hasn't been talking to anyone the entire supper. She's now concerned for him, and decides to consult him about his sudden silence later.)Sometime later...(The dinner is over, the Loud siblings are heading back upstairs. Lincoln, on the other hand, was now really devastated after remembering all those bad things. He heads to his room, sits on his bed, and now proceeds to remember the damage he did to 2 certain people that aren't part of his family. The first person coming in mind is his, yes, best friend, Clyde. He remembered how he was disappointed when he was spending time with his sisters during that one unfortunate time.)Flashback to events of "Overnight Success".
Lincoln: Clyde, come on! We gotta get started! (grabs Clyde's arm)
Lola: Hey, that's my toad! (grabs Clyde's other arm)
Clyde: I hate to let the kid down, Lincoln. Start the movie and I'll be right in.
Lincoln: Are you kidding me? I can't believe you would rather spend your time with my dumb sisters...
Leni, Lynn, Lana, Lola, and Lisa: HEY!
Lincoln: ...than do all the things I planned for us! You are ruining the sleepover, Clyde! Fart time is out the window, and I seriously doubt we'll get to booger flicking!
Clyde: But, Lincoln, we can still have fun doing this other stuff.
Lincoln: You know what? Let's just forget the whole thing. The sleepover is officially canceled! (slams his door)Flashback ends, back to present.(Lincoln now feels guilty for Clyde after such outburst.)Lincoln: And what the H was I even thinking for yelling at Clyde like heck...? Some "friend" I am...
(Now he remembers that really bad moment when he caused Lori and Bobby to "break up" just because he was trying to stand his ground that one time.)Flashback to events of "Save the Date".(Lincoln is at school, sitting with his friends at the lunch table, trying to get something out of his pants. It eventually comes out, and it's a sloppy joe with a note on it.)
Classmate #4: (reading the note) Happy Sloppy Joe Tuesday, Lame-o. Signed, Ronnie Anne. (he says her name with flair)
Clasmate #3: And there's a heart!
Classmates #1, #2, #3, #4, & #5: Oooooooo! Lincoln's got a girlfriend!
Lincoln: What?! No I don't.
Classmate #3: When's the wedding day, Lincoln?
(The classmates, excluding Clyde, laugh.)
Lincoln: Ha-ha. Very funny, guys.
Classmates: Ronnie and Lincoln sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G. (they start laughing again)
Lincoln: Guys, Ronnie Anne is NOT my girlfriend. She's rude and gross and totally annoying. I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo.
(A gasp is heard, and it turns out it came from Ronnie Anne. Lincoln turns around and is shocked to see her.)
Lincoln: Ronnie Anne!
(Ronnie Anne is at first shocked, but then puts on an angry scowl, and storms out of the lunch room, with her food tray still in her hands.)
Clyde: Whoa, Lincoln, I think you really hurt her feelings.
Lincoln: C'mon, Clyde, Ronnie Anne is the toughest girl at school. She'll be fine.
(And did he little know, that his claim would eventually come back to bite him in the butt, hard, and that's what happened later when Lincoln got back home later that day.)Lori: YOU MONSTER! (she screams, throwing a tissue box at Lincoln.)
Lincoln: Ow! What was that for?
Lori: You made Ronnie Anne CRY!
Lincoln: Cry? I didn't mean to! Wait, how do you know?
(Lori tries to aim a teddy bear at Lincoln, but he jumps out of the way before it hits him.)
Lori: Bobby told me... (starts to cry) RIGHT BEFORE HE BROKE UP WITH ME!
Lincoln: What? Why does Bobby care? (Lori throws a couch cushion at Lincoln, prompting him to duck; she opens a photo album showing a picture of Bobby and Ronnie Anne together.)
Lori: Because Bobby is literally Ronnie Anne's brother! He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurt someone he's related to! Or something like that!
Lincoln: Ronnie Anne has a brother? I thought she was raised by trolls.
(Lori throws a bunch of CDs in rapid fire fashion; Lincoln shields himself with the cushion.)
Lori: D'AAAAHH! THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT BOBBY WAS TALKING ABOUT!
(Lori chases after Lincoln, who hides behind the chair; he trips, and Lori catches him and holds him up by his shirt.)
Lori: You have to make things right with Ronnie Anne!
Lincoln: Okay! Okay! I'll call her right now and apologize! (picks up the phone)
Lori: NO! (hangs up the phone) Nuh-uh! Actions speak louder than words! Bobby has to see you being nice to her. That's the only way he'll get back together with me! Which is why we're going on a double date!
Lincoln: WHAT?!
Lori: It's all been arranged! We have a reservation at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet at six! AND YOU! WILL MAKE HER! FEEL! LIKE THE MOST SPECIAL GIRL! IN THE WORLD!
Lincoln: (gags) I'd rather lick the bathroom...
(Lori picks up the end table and threatens to crush him with it.)Flashback ends, back to present.(Now Lincoln is really devastated after remembering everything that happened so far. He sadly turns to the camera and speaks to the readers.)Lincoln: (monotone and sadly, to readers) I don't know what else to do, you guys. At this point, all I can do is just pretty much give up and leave all of my family and friends behind. Because can you really keep going, especially when something just keep reminding you of unpleasant moments that happened in the past? Of course not. Besides, my parents were mostly on my sisters' side, because they sure wouldn't want to have all 10 angry kids after them. Man...this all started 11 years ago when I was born as a boy, not a girl. If only I was born as a girl, none of this would've happened. Maybe this family wasn't meant for boys in the first place. But you know what they say, "what happened, happened". So yeah... (sadly sighs) So that's why I decided I'll be doing some things, then I'll give myself some time...and that's when I'll officially leave all of my friends and family behind. Not because I hate them, just so I won't be around to make things worse in my life. (sees clock on his wall, it's getting close to bedtime, and relaxes a bit) Alright then, will hit the bay for now. See you guys tomorrow.
To be continued in Part 2...