Title: Priori Incantatem
Rating: T
Summary: James Potter woke in St. Mungo's with a raging headache. Not only did he feel like he had flown headfirst into Hagrid, but he felt so incredibly exhausted. Learning that Lily died nearly 14 years ago, and that his son was currently fighting a war he's too young to understand, James knows that everything he knew about parenting is going to be challenged. Harry's too old for him, now. But it won't stop James from making sure that not only will Harry be kept safe, but that his life is the Order's priority.
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or any of the characters and settings mentioned in the story below that relate to Harry Potter. They are all the intellectual property of J.K. Rowling and Scholastic/Bloomsbury.
Warnings: Cursing, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, mentioned character death, walking in on two characters having sex, alcoholism.
Spoilers: The following takes place after 4th year, with the beginning of this story set a few weeks before the events of Order of the Phoenix.
Author's Notes: I wrote this as a one-shot on tumblr and was encouraged by some amazing people to expand it into a story, and this is what became of it. Here's the first chapter (the original one-shot), and there will be more to come.
~ June 25th, 1995 ~
James Potter felt like he had drunk two bottles of Ogden's finest and then went practicing Wronski Feints off the edge of the Cliffs of Dover. And survived.
"James?"
"Go to hell, Moony. I've got the worst headache." James slapped away the hand that was clutching his shoulder, and turned over, grabbing the measly pillow under his head and trying to fluff it up. The pillow wouldn't cooperate. Which meant it wasn't one of his magically enhanced pillows he had at home.
Which meant he wasn't at home. And he wasn't at home because...?
Bloody hell. He opened his eyes and the first thing he noticed was sterilizing whiteness. Definitely not his house, where Flower had insisted on yellows and creams everywhere. And there was a faint strip of blue on the curtain hanging across from him.
Shit, had he passed out in Sirius's bathroom again? But no, because the distance was all wrong, and Moony had a plain white shower liner. Not ... whatever that cloth atrocity was.
Then he noticed the large figure a few feet off from his line of vision. It was blurry, but the man was about the right height and build of Moony. Even the same hair color. But the gray streaks and the lines... that was all wrong. Moony wasn't that old. And it wasn't Lyall, his father.
Where the bloody fuck was he, and who was that man? James sat up abruptly, and the whiteness stretched around him, the same bloody curtain surrounding him on a bed. "Where the bloody fuck am I, Remus? What the hell have I done now?"
"You're in St. Mungo's," Moony's voice said carefully, as if afraid of startling him. "Glad you remember me, mate. What's the last thing you remember?"
"I... What the hell did I do to get into..." What was the last thing he could remember?
James closed his eyes, finding that trying to focus on something was making his headache worse. "I... I don't know. Christmas? No... There was summer after that." James ran through everything he could possibly think of, trying to remember what had happened last - trying to remember what could possibly have happened.
And then it hit him. "Halloween."
"Yeah," Remus agreed, his voice hoarse. "Halloween sounds right."
James opened his eyes, glancing to his best friend. "What are you doing here? You're supposed to be in Bavaria-"
Something clicked in Remus's hands and when James glanced down to them, he could make out the faint outline of glasses. His glasses. Bloody hell, he need them. As if realizing what James was looking at, Remus handed them over. "I haven't been out of country in a long time, James. There's a lot that's changed." James slid his glasses on, and when he glanced up, sucked in a sharp breath.
"Moony, I hate to break it to you, mate, but Bavaria was awful to you." He was covered in scars, there were wrinkles and lines everywhere. He looked... old. "Where's... " His throat felt dry as Halloween flashed before his eyes like a pensieve memory. It was becoming clearer and clearer, the night. The terror that he had felt, the scream as the door was kicked in. "Where's Lily?" he was croaking now and when he glanced up to Remus, the man's face dropped slightly. James knew the answer just with that. "No... no. Harry?"
"Harry's alright," Remus said softly. "But a lot's changed, Prongs. It's been fourteen years since Halloween. It's summer of 1995." James blinked rapidly.
"You're joking mate. You took an age potion and you and Sirius thought it'd be funny after-"
"He came to your house," Remus said gently. The werewolf moved to sit at the foot of the hospital bed, and James didn't need to ask who. He had the memory. But it had to be a joke. It had to be. "You tried to fight him off without a wand." He did. "You told Lily to run with Harry. And she took him upstairs-"
"No."
"He shot you with a stunner, and you went flying through the wall, out into the garden... You hit your head something wicked and were knocked unconscious immediately." James squeezed his eyes shut. Remus's hand went to James' knee, atop the blanket, and James sucked in a breath as he continued. "He told Lily to step aside, but Lily wouldn't."
"You're lying," James ground out. Remus had to be. Lily wouldn't have done that. Lily would have run with Harry. She was supposed to run with Harry-
"She's gone, mate. She died fourteen years ago."
"And Harry... you said Harry was okay."
"He tried to kill Harry after Lily," Remus said. James jerked his head up sharply, seeing that Remus was studying him as he spoke. "But the spell rebounded. He died, and Harry... Harry survived." His son was okay. His son, the whole reason they had been in hiding in the first place, was alright. "You were brought to St. Mungo's when they realized you were still alive. You've been in a coma all this time. Who knew you'd be as stubborn as a hippogriff."
"Lily's dead," James whispered. "But it was just yesterday-"
"I know, it seems like it," Remus said quietly. "But... well, a lot else has changed. They didn't know... that Pettigrew betrayed the location." James's fist clenched in the sheets. "They thought it was Sirius. We all thought it was Sirius. You said it was Sirius all the time." James swallowed. "Sirius went to Azkaban."
"What?" James gasped, his voice sounding strangled.
"It's alright, he's... he's out now," Remus said, glancing around them worriedly. As if someone was listening in to their conversation. It caused paranoia to rise up in James. "He's escaped. We know the truth, Harry found Peter Pettigrew two years ago-"
"Pettigrew came after my son?" James cried. He struggled to untangle himself from the sheets, to pull himself out of the bed "When I get my fists around-"
"You need to calm down," Remus said sharply. James swallowed back his anger, waiting. "I know this is a lot to take in, but in order to clear Sirius's name, you'll need to give a statement to the Ministry. He wanted to come to see you, but if he's caught, I'll be charged with aiding a fugitive." And no one wanted a werewolf in a prison. "And then we've got to get you back into working order. Harry's coming to Headquarters next week and-"
"Headquarters?" James repeated. "Why is the Order still in effect if he's gone?" Remus hesitated and James felt a queasiness in his stomach. "Remus...?"
"Prongs, he's back. Last year, Harry... Harry got involved in the TriWizard Tournament - won, of course - but... You-Know-Who came back." James blinked rapidly. His son had won a TriWizard Tournament. His son had survived a tournament of deadly tasks. And despite the swell of pride, he quickly switched to the task at hand.
"You-Know-Who's back."
"Yeah, he is," Remus said quietly. "And we've got a hell of a lot of work to do to get any upper hand." James ran his hand over his face, and froze when he felt scratchy stubble on his chin. Remus seemed to know what he was thinking - Remus always knew what he was thinking. "You've got to shave, but that won't happen until they say you're alright, mate. You just woke up. You showed signs last night, and I've been here ever since. Though a familiar face would help... even if I've aged horribly, as you've put it." James wasn't sure how to comprehend any of this. It was too much to process.
"Harry... Harry's where, exactly? Who takes care of him? Sirius was his godfather."
"Let's wait until you get out of here to talk about all that-"
"If it's not Sirius, then... you?"
Remus winced. "No, mate. Werewolf, remember?" James was confused.
"The other person after you would have been Frank and Alice-"
"They're... well, they're across the hall," Remus said quietly. "The Lestranges and Crouch got to them." James felt fear building in his throat.
"Who has my son, Remus?"
"Lily's sister." James cursed, and pulled himself out of the bed. "James, wait-" But James didn't listen, realizing he was in a loose gown that was showing all of his bits to everyone that looked, he grabbed the robe off the chair and slid it on, then dug around in the drawers of the bedside table, looking for his wand. Surely they wouldn't take it from him. It had to be near him. "James, you can't leave-"
"I determine that I'm of perfectly sound mind. I'm leaving and I'm going to be getting my son, and that's the end of the story, Remus," James snapped. "And then you're going to explain everything to me."
"He doesn't even know you're alive, James." James paused, closing the drawer slowly when he realized that his wand wasn't there. "We haven't told him." His son didn't even know. James closed his eyes, and that was when the tears started to come. Tears of absolute grief. Lily - his Flower. Wilted. Gone. He sank onto the side of the bed and Remus continued quietly. "His aunt and uncle told him that you two died in a car crash."
James swallowed. "And by the time he got his letter, we told him the truth about Halloween, but... we didn't tell him you were still alive. We didn't think you'd ever wake up, mate. And ... he's had a pretty shite life up to this point. I hadn't even met him until his third year."
"What year is he in now?" James asked hoarsely.
"He'll be going into his fifth."
James felt a chuckle rise in his throat. "Fourth year, and he kicked three school's arses to come out on top?"
"He's a pretty remarkable kid, James. And he's got the greatest friends. He's... he's famous. Everyone knows his name, and your name and Lily's." James swallowed at Lily's name. "He's the kid that survived the Killing Curse."
"How?"
"Lily sacrificed herself. A mother's magic... It protected him. You-Know-Who couldn't even touch him until this summer." James didn't even want to ask. "When he comes to Headquarters, we'll tell him. But we don't want to lead you-know-who to his doorstep. It's going to take some time, Prongs. And you need to get used to moving around again."
"I feel fine, Remus. I just need to see my son." He needed to know for certain that he was alive.
"I know. You will. But not right now. He spends his summers in the Muggle world. He's the youngest seeker of the age," Remus told him quietly. "Not so great grades, but then he takes more after you than Lily."
"He has her eyes." It was one thing he remembered about the little boy he had watched be rushed away by his mother before everything went black.
"Yeah, he does."
James swallowed. "Lily wasn't supposed to die. She was supposed to apparate Harry away to the other safe house."
"I'm sorry, mate."
There was silence, and James took a deep breath, his shoulders rising and falling. "Who do I talk to about Sirius? The sooner we can do whatever we need to, the better. And then I want to see her, if I can't see my son. I want to see Lily's grave."
Remus was quiet. "Alright, mate. We'll... we'll do that."
"She wasn't supposed to die. I was supposed to protect her."
"I know. Fate is funny that way. Doesn't do anything like you plan for." They were all supposed to live in a big house together, be around each other 24/7, drive each other crazy. Nearly kill one another. Not... not be separated like this. "Quite frankly, mate, I'm tired of seeing your arse hanging out. I'm going to get you clothes and the Ministry official, and then we're going to get you to Headquarters."
"Is Sirius there?"
"Yeah, he's waiting." James relaxed slightly at that. It was not until Remus shut the curtain behind him that James cried. For both the lost years, and for his Flower.