AUTHOR: WillowDaisy
EMAIL:
MyDogEatsMySocks@aol.comDISTRIBUTION: You have to email me and link me to where you will use it.
SPOILERS: Second Season "Surprise"-Becoming, Pt 2"
RATING: G
DISCLAIMER: We all know who belongs to whom and that I didn't exactly write the main storyline. It was just my idea to use them as 3 year olds and change some of the stuff around so it would b more 3 yr old oriented.
SUMMARY: What if the whole "Angel Go Bad" storyline was just about 3 year olds and not teens and vampires and stuff?
AUTHOR'S NOTE: I just thought it would be funny if some of the pivotal things about that storyline were just something that would be more normal to a 3 yr old. Like instead of killing Jenny Calender, Angel just kicks her in the knee. See my point? Dedicated Helen, Corey, Julie ((J-Frog)), Jess, Sarah, and Disturbed!
"La la la la la," said a happy 3 year old Buffy as she ran around clumsily with a daisy. Willow sat in the middle of the field, brushing her Barbie doll's hair. Xander had his ninja turtle toys out with him and he karate chopped their green plastic asses down. Then, all three of the group looked up, each one having their eyes lock on a different thing.
Willow gaped at the little red head kid playing around with his Fischer Price guitar. She thought boys had cooties, but this was down right sexy!
Xander eyed a girl with brown hair wearing a feather boa and dress up shoes. The girl stuck her nose up in the air, but then gave him a secretive smile.
Xander and Willow both toddled over on chubby legs, arms wide open.
But poor little Buffy frowned and shoved the daisy in her mouth, chewing angrily. She climbed up a tree and grunted angrily, but then burst out into tears bawling. It was the boy she liked, Angel, but he was the only kid without a Blues Clues lunch box, therefore, he was different. Buffy spit out the daisy, when she felt a hand poke her. She turned and faced another kid in a tweed jumpsuit and big glasses sitting in the tree.
"Oh you goes kill scary ting," muttered the kid in the tweed jumpsuit, who then intelligently shoved his finger up his nose and slid down the tree. Buffy sighed, and still cried. Then she looked over at Angel. Buffy grinned showing a few gaps in her teeth. She slid down the tree and decided it was finally time she talked to Angel, who was sitting in a sandbox, and humming "Mary Had A Little Lamb". Buffy sat down next to him and muttered softly.
"Cootie." Angel looked up.
"Well, you're a cootie face!" He flicked sand on Buffy, who began to cry. Angel frowned and kissed Buffy on the cheek. Buffy shut up and sniffled a bit, but seemed to appreciate the kiss. She looked back at him and kissed him back on the cheek.
"EEWWWWWWWWW," he cried as he got up from the sandbox and flung more sand on her. Buffy was angry. She loved him, but now he changed. She hated him.
"You're a poop face and I don't wanna see you again," she sobbed.
Then some meaner kids who also didn't have Blues Clues lunch boxes came in. Angel threw one last heap of sand at Buffy and went to go play with the other kids, Spike ((on little trainer roller skates)) and Drusilla, who was cradling her dolly. Buffy was crushed as she walked over to her friends.
"Boys be cootie heads," said Willow, trying to comfort Buffy.
"He wude," added Xander
"We can make him nice again," offered Giles. Another little girl named Jenny stepped forward.
"Me go tell him to play nice," said Jenny…
Meanwhile, on the other side of the playground, Spike, Angel, and Drusilla were talking. IN an adorable voice, Dru began to speak.
"I have a 'lil friend who help us be mean!" Angel grinned, showing that he was missing a tooth. He kissed Dru on the cheek, getting Spike angry.
"You cootie poof," he cried angrily, but Angel pushed him down before he could do anything. Dru smiled happily as something approached them. Spike rolled his eyes, and Angel grinned evilly. The group all walked over to the Scooby Gang, who were in the middle of a graham cracker break. The 4th person approached the group, he was blue, the gang's size, and he had little horns on his head.
"Scary," said Xander as he hid behind Giles.
"Ooo I das Judge," said the blue thing. He looked at a hopping bunny rabbit, and burned it to bits, making Willow cry. But thank God Buffy was an unusually smart and prepared 3 yr old. She pulled out her super soaker and squirted the judge, knocking him on his butt. Tears welled up in his eyes.
"MOMMMMMMMMMMY," he hollered as he ran off crying. Buffy grinned with satisfaction, while Angel, Dru, and Spike left, very angry. But they were already beginning to conjure a plan. And the Scoobies were ready.
Unbeknownst to the other Scoobs, brave little Jenny Calendar skipped over towards the mean kids with out the Blues Clues lunch boxes. She skipped over to Angel, brown pigtails flying in the air. Jenny walked to him. "BE NICE!" But Angel responded by kicking Jenny in the knee, and sending her home crying for the rest of the day. Giles cried
"She was my cootie face," he muttered sadly. The group talked sadly for awhile.
Meanwhile, the mean kids had found a statue, ok, a lawn gnome that would ruin playtime forever. Angel kicked it a couple of times. "Wake up," he shouted angrily, as he kicked it. "Ow," he said in defeat, realizing he could not awake it. So he grabbed Giles and pushed him in the mud. " WAKE IT UP!" Giles finally told, bawling. But Angel actually ended up breaking the lawn gnome.
Drusilla's mommies came and picked them
Think that isn't bad? Buffy realized that someone would get in trouble for breaking the lawn gnome and everyone would be in deep trouble. Meanwhile, Spike and up. Spike skated off the playground with a box of red fruit punch in hand, and Drusilla crawled, ruining her pretty white lace dress, and messing up her dolly's hair.
Grinning and sucking his thumb in success, Angel skipped over to the swings, waiting for someone to get in trouble. He plopped down on one. But little did he know that Buffy was right behind him, and she pushed him off the swings, sending him flying. Angel then started crying, realizing he did something he shouldn't have. Buffy ran over and hugged him. But, uh oh, it's too late. They were gonna get in trouble for breaking the lawn gnome. SO Buffy did the most awful thing she could think of.
"I like you, cootie," she said.
"I like you, too," said Angel.
"Close your eyes," she said. Angel did, then Buffy screamed at the top of her lungs.
"OH ANGEL'S MOMMYYYYYYYY ANGEL BROKE SOMETHINGGGGGGGGG!" In quicker then a blink of an eye, Angel's mom was already dragging out of the playground, so angry with her son. As he was being dragged away, Angel starred wide-eyed at Buffy, in disbelief. Buffy felt so bad, that she sobbed violently and left for a new playground 2 BLOCKS AWAY, Never to return… for a few minutes.
THE END(?!?)