Pairing: Clana (no really, not high, I swear) and Chimmy with Chlark and Chlana friendship

Special thanks to EllyF who let me borrow her incarnation of Lana from her far superior fic "What I've Done."

In the comics, a rogues' gallery of aliens, gangs, and an evil meglomaniacal businessman have all tried their hand at eliminating Superman. In SV, all it took was one lone girl...

What I Wanted
Part One - Grounded

There've been a lot of hard things that I had to get through in my life---my parents' death, my aunt abandoning me, being trapped in a loveless marriage---but I think faking my death was the hardest thing that's ever happened to me. It's funny. I never really thought about what Chloe went through. I just went to Paris one summer and within days of my return, Chloe was back as if her safe house had never exploded and there'd never been a funeral. Maybe it hadn't been as real to me, since I hadn't been able to make it back from Paris for the service. I don't know. What I do know is that it never occurred to me how crushingly lonely it would be to be dead.

I spent the last six months hiding out in Nice, safe and secure on Lionel's dime, of course, but it was like being in exile. Hell, it was exile. Beautiful, yes. Scenic, sure. But empty above everything else. I'd missed Chloe and Lois, even if I hadn't seen them much in the last few months of my marriage except under dire circumstances. I think the last time Lois had come around had been to bring me an extra large bouquet at Smallville Medical after I'd been shot, and the last time I'd seen Chloe, I'd been busy begging her not to tell Clark anything about my deal with Lionel.

I seriously doubted that she'd listened. Those two had never been able to keep anything from one another. Looking back on it, I should have figured it out earlier that she'd known. I still wonder how long she had. Surely she hadn't been in on the big alien secret since eighth grade. She'd been as frustrated with Clark's mood swings and unexplained disappearances as I was at least as late as our junior year of high school. And I knew Chloe. She was one of the worst actresses I'd ever met. Every thought and emotion she'd ever had was always written across her face. There were Vegas billboards harder to decode than she.

Even back in the beginning of freshman year when I'd been too wrapped up in cheerleading and Whitney to really realize that there was a whole broad world that didn't revolve around me or Crows Football, I'd noticed her reaction to Clark. Even in Smallville, Kansas, high schools are large enough that kids fall through the cracks, but the Chloe-Clark-Pete group had always been easy to spot. They all stuck out: the too tall kid more skittish than Bambi, the city girl with all the disdain she could muster for small town living (and the outrageous hairstyle to match), and one of the few African American kids in town.

Conspicuous even then, and the way she'd looked at Clark----Hell, the way she still looked at Clark---even Whitney had made a joke or two about what went on late night at The Torch.

Deep down, I'd always been jealous of her. Clark worshipped me, and I'd be lying if I said it wasn't nice because being adored like that is amazing, but he relied on and trusted her.

He'd told her first, after all, hadn't he?

And now I was back in Metropolis, I'd come home, and nothing was as I'd left it. I'd waited until after the trial was finished before I came home. Lionel had used his pull with the Metropolis D.A.'s office to put the best prosecutor on Lex's case. Even with the football-sized legal defense team Lex had recruited, it hadn't been enough. He was safe behind bars and I was safe from him. He wouldn't be touching me or my body for the rest of his life. I wanted to feel guilty about locking him away for a crime he hadn't committed, but I felt nothing but relief. Besides, from what Lionel had told me, Lex was guilty of far worse things, which included Tuskegee and Nuremburg-sized crimes against humanity. Well, more or less humanity. Even now, I'm not quite sure what to think about meteor mutants. I've met a few, like Tobias and Cyrus, who were genuinely good people, but most are supremely dangerous. I can't quite fault Lex for wanting to protect the rest of us from them. I've been stalked too many times to feel completely comfortable around any of the meteor freaks.

Honestly, I'm not quite sure how I feel about Clark.

I've only been home a few weeks. I'd come straight back to Metropolis and been secreted away in Lionel's penthouse. After all, I couldn't exactly go out on the town as "Lana Lang." My ex-father-in-law, as attentive as always, had arranged for an expert makeover to make sure the girl I was now couldn't be traced back to the murdered wife of Metropolis's most notorious son. I'd had my nose nip and tucked, changing the shape of it quite a bit, and my hair dyed a bright red. Blue contacts hid my eyes, but I'd stopped short of having a surgeon change them. Maybe it was a mistake, but I couldn't change who I was that completely. At night, even with the new nose and the Julianne Moore hair, I could still take out my contacts and see myself.

Whoever that was supposed to be.

After the new Lana Lang---renamed Lori Lemaris on all my official documents—had healed and was visitor ready, I'd demanded to see Clark and Chloe. There'd been weeping and hugs all around and, surprisingly, more than a few angry glares from Chloe. I could have dragged her into my bedroom to prod her further about her anger, but I could guess where both her and Clark's indignation came from. Let them be upset about what I'd done to Lex. He'd never hurt them had he? And yeah, I'm sorry they had to go through mourning my death, but I was back now and all of that pain and chaos was behind us.

The world had changed a lot since I'd been gone and not just with the shift in the power behind Luthorcorp. Martha was now a United States senator and only came back to Kansas once every two weeks. Chloe and Lois had moved to Metropolis (without Lex, Luthorcorp had sold off The Talon and the cousins had had to find another apartment). They'd shared an apartment initially but just a month ago, Jimmy'd asked Chloe to move in and she'd agreed. Similarly, Clark, urged on by his mother and his best friend, had started classes back at Met U and was living in an apartment just off campus. There was nothing tying any of us to Smallville anymore.

I didn't know how to feel about that either. I hated Smallville in a lot of ways. It was where my family had been shattered, where Lex had manipulated me and violated my body, where nothing but pain had rained from the sky for decades. At the same time, it was where I was the small town princess. Where everyone knew my story and deferred to me. Some days I hated being singled out, but like with Clark and his near fanatical worship of me, at the same time, I think I craved being the center of attention.

It hadn't been twenty-four hours after our reunion before Clark had asked me to move in with him. Even though part of me didn't want to trade the luxury of the penthouse for a cramped apartment, most of me was overjoyed. This was what I'd wanted for so incredibly long. I'd loved Clark for years, but had been blinded by Lex and left confused by Clark's own laundry list of lies. Now, however, there was nothing between us. Finally, he was laid bare for me and I could love him.

So I'd said yes.

And we'd been in the honeymoon period for the first two weeks, until early this morning. It was weird getting used to sleeping with another person. Lex and I hadn't shared a bed even after we'd been married—at my insistence, obviously---and Clark and I had only slept together twice. After he'd been shot, he'd refused to spend the night over at the dorms, even on nights when Chloe was buried deep in research down at the Planet and we'd been sure to have a night alone. In fact, he always stared over at the bed when I offered a space up to him like it was a coiled cobra ready to strike him. Put another way, my desk chair got a lot of use that semester we'd dated. It had crushed me then, his lack of interest in me that way because I'd been convinced that I'd done something wrong, that I'd been terrible. After all, Jason hadn't wanted to sleep with me either. Part of that pain and rejection had definitely been part of the reason for me breaking up with him after Mr. Kent's death.

Of course, I knew now he'd held off because he'd been afraid he'd crush me, which even now was a distinct possibility. I'll never tell him, but the first night in the Metropolis apartment, I didn't sleep at all. I'd seen him rip steel in half; it gave me all these nightmare scenarios about what he could accidentally do to me.

But he hadn't. He'd been surprisingly gentle and after that I'd relaxed. It still didn't make the sensation of sharing a bed any weirder. It's just that superpowers or not, Clark's a pretty big guy and I was just getting comfortable with feeling of sleeping with his arms wrapped around me and of being crowded onto a corner of the mattress. On a side note, it's a great thing that he's a naturally early waker because, honestly, it's not possible to get untangled from him when he's asleep. I'd tried the second night to get up to go to the bathroom and come to the sad realization that bear traps had more give. At the same time, though, I felt so secure and safe, just like I had nestled in between my parents all those years ago at the drive in.

It was nice.

Correction, it had been nice until about five minutes ago. That's when I woke up and tried rolling over just a little. It was still dark outside----and apparently too early for a farmboy that no longer had cows to feed---and he was still sleeping, hair tousled and snores escaping his throat (who knew aliens snored?). Sighing, I rolled my eyes and glanced to the clock. Correction, I would have glanced at the clock.

Instead I was looking at the curtain rod and it was eye level.

I took a deep breath and arched my neck to the side as far as it would go. Sure enough, we were floating---okay, he was floating, the only thing keeping me from crashing back down to the bed were his arms wrapped around my stomach---about four feet off the mattress.

"Clark?"

He groaned and mumbled, "Five more minutes, mom."

Oh come on. It's not like he hadn't had to wake up early all the time back at the farm. "Clark?" I said, noticing the shrill tone creeping into my voice. I was trying to stay calm, but I'd only defied gravity once before and memories of Zod weren't exactly Zen.

"Lana, I can tell right now it's still dark outside and I don't have to be up until eight for my morning classes. Come on."

"Clark!" I shrieked. Okay, so maybe some parts of the alien thing were going to freak me out, but I didn't expect to find myself floating either.

His eyes snapped open and he had time to glance around and realize what he'd done before we both crashed down onto the bed. He'd been fast enough to twist under me so that I didn't feel the brunt of the impact. Still, I had the wind knocked out of me from landing on Clark's steel stomach. The bed shuddered underneath us and the four legs wavered, finally splintering and sending the mattress crashing to the ground.

My heart was racing so fast in my chest that I thought I might have a heart attack right then and there. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm myself, but even as I drew in the first breath, I found myself alone on the mattress. Clark had blurred across the room and was backed into a corner. His eyes were wide and I could tell he was almost as freaked out as I was.

"Oh God, I'm so sorry." He said, beginning to pace back and forth. He was going a little faster than a human could have and I was getting a little dizzy from following the rapid back and forth movement.

I took another deep breath and tried to get my heart to stop its frantic beating. "I know." That was all I could say for the moment. Not "It's alright" or "I forgive you." I wasn't interested in soothing him right then. I'm sorry. I could have been hurt with that little stunt, and anything that brought back memories of being captured by Zod seriously frightened me.

Maybe Clark frightened me a little.

He slowed his pacing and blurred back to me and I couldn't stop the little yelp that escaped my lips, and I tried to ignore the crestfallen look on his face from my flinching. He stopped his arm in mid-reach and let it drop to his side. "I…I really am sorry."

"I know." I waited for him to speak again, to understand that I wasn't offering absolution.

"I…I really haven't done that for a few years. I almost forgot that I could."

I sighed, finally feeling my heart slow back to its normal pace. "Zod could fly."

"Yeah, so I noticed when he was dragging me half way across Kansas," Clark said dryly. "I can't actually fly." He paused for a second and made a face to himself, and I got that familiar sinking feeling that he was holding something back from me.

"You can't?" I asked, trying desperately to keep the edge out of my voice.

He shook his head. "No, but sometimes when I'm unconscious…' He trailed off and waved his hand as if saying "floating" was like cursing.

"Alright," I said, finally ready to reach out to him and placing my hand gently on his shoulder. "Is there any way that you can get control of this?" I wanted to say "make it go away," but I figured from what he told me that his powers were pretty much permanent.

"Well, with a new ability I have to practice it before I can get full control over it. I have class today and an interview with Perry White in order to get an internship at the Planet, but tomorrow's a Saturday and maybe we could go out to the back forty and I could practice then."

"'We?' Clark, I hate to tell you this, but I don't know anything about flying so I don't think I'd be very much help." I also didn't want to add that I really didn't want to see him flying. Most days, it was easy enough to just pretend that Clark was human, and I preferred it that way. Watching him learn to fly would be a big reminder that he was anything but normal.

His voice wavered just a bit as he replied. "It's okay. I'll just ask Chloe to help out with it. She's really good about being a powers coach, anyway, but we should all go out and make a day of it. It would be fun. Picnic and everything."

"I can't." I lied. "I have some last minute arrangements to make with Lionel, but I might be able to make it to the farm later in the afternoon." I gave him my largest smile and stood on tip-toe to give him a peck on the cheek. "I'm sure the two of you will be fine without me."

I had to chase down the jealousy bubbling out of my stomach when I thought about him and Chloe together. Not that I felt threatened by her. She had Jimmy after all and I knew that Clark loved me. It's just that I sort of hated that she was going to be sharing something with Clark that I wouldn't be. Of course, Chloe could have the extraterrestrial side. I'd just keep the Clark I'd grown up with.

He smiled hesitantly. "Yeah, we'll be fine, no worries." He reached out and wrapped his arms around my shoulders. Then he leaned down and gave me a kiss on the top of my head. "Well that pretty much destroyed the bed." He sighed. "I think the springs are still intact, and the sofa in the living room is pretty comfy. I'll just be out there if you need me, 'k?"

I smiled and tilted my head up to give him a kiss on the lips. That was so sweet of him, just automatically understanding that I'd need my space. "Sure, see you in a few hours."

There was a breeze and the next second I was alone in the room and Clark's pillow and the spare quilt was gone. He was gone.

I spent the Saturday in Metropolis going out to lunch with Lionel. I didn't know many people in the city anymore. None of the rich and powerful were on my social calendar now. After all, I was back to being a small town and it would take time to build up a new network of friends. I was hoping things would get easier once I started back to Met U for summer session classes.

Still, I couldn't avoid going out to the farm forever, so I found myself tromping through the thicket of forest in the back forty, scanning the sky for Clark. And that sounds so weird even to me. Eventually, I came to a clearing and found Chloe standing in the center of it, her neck arched toward the sky. Apparently practice was going well.

"Lana! Hey, how was Metropolis. Did you sort out the rest of your legal stuff with Lionel?" Her lips were turned down into the slightest of frowns and I had this moment of panic where she'd figured out that I'd been lying. Of course, it might make sense that Lionel had ratted me out. He and Chloe had been allies long before I'd ever met him.

Then her expression changed and her usual bright smile returned to her face. "So I can assume that 'Lori Lemaris' is ready to assume her rightful place as a tax-paying citizen and everything?"

I smiled back and gave a small nod. "Everything is set up and airtight. It's nice to know people who know people."

"Nothing like relying on a Luthor to find an inside track on the underhanded." Chloe deadpanned. "Still, it's kind of a shame, you missed all the action. There was a lot of pushing Clark out of the loft window before we realized the baby bird approach wasn't going to work."

"Is he okay?"

"Naturally, but there's a huge ditch from where he ate it."

"That's nice." I offered, not really sure what the proper response was.

Chloe ignored the awkwardness and continued on in that rapid fire way she had. There are a lot of days that I think she missed her calling to be a lawyer. There isn't anyone I know who can survive an onslaught from fast-talking Chloe. That much intensity wore anyone out. "So, anyway, we hit the back forty and moved on to what I guess I'd like to call the Peter Pan method---which I so should have seen coming---I mean, happy thoughts, much? If his heat vision is all hormone activated, it totally figures that flying's the same way." She shook her head. "Dating on Krypton must have been an extreme sport."

Wait, my brain just caught up with the rest of her rant. "Hormone what?"

"Yeah, the heat vision thing. It's totally sexual." Chloe grinned and made the motion of a lock turning in front of her lips. "But you didn't hear that one from me."

"Where else would I have heard it from?"

She shrugged. "Okay, just try not to let him in on the joke. He's excellent with controlling that one, as far as I know, although when he had that whole memory wipe back senior year, he seemed extra excited to see you." She giggled.

I blinked. Chloe's not a giggler, but apparently she found most of Clark's powers amusing. Why didn't it surprise me that Chloe would find humor in alien abilities that had the potential to lay waste to almost anything? There were some days when I believed that exposure to Smallville seriously screwed with someone's perception of normal.

"Huh. I won't." I reached back and pulled my hair up into a scrunchee. "So, it's going well?"

She shrugged. "Pretty good. He's not great with the landings, but considering the way that Clark just barrels into things, I can't say that I'm surprised."

"So, will he be coming back any time soon?"

"One sec," Chloe said, bringing her hands to cup around her mouth. Then she yelled, "Hey Clark! Lana's here." She turned back to me and shook her head. "Sorry about the yelling, he could probably hear me if I whispered, but I still can't adjust to that scary level of hearing. I mean, he's probably thousands of feet up by now."

"Wait," I started, definitely feeling that even though I knew the big secret I was still out of the loop, "He can hear you from wherever he is?"

She nodded and squinted a little at me. "He can hear my heartbeat from Smallville when I'm at the Planet. He didn't mention that one yet, huh?"

I shook my head. "I know about the strength, invulnerability, heat vision, speed, and floating---um, hearing now too----how much more is there?" I refrained myself from gulping. That was already a pretty impressive list of powers. How much more could there be?

"Not too much and they're just little things really. Nothing as impressive as the superstrength."

"Well that one pretty much trumps the rest." I shook my head. If Clark's hearing really was that good, then he'd heard how fast my heart had been going two nights ago. He knew how scared I'd been, and yet he'd still been calm and collected. Maybe he was a better liar than I'd given him credit for.

"Yup. I kind of like the hearing myself. If I had that one, the stories I could break…" She shrugged. "It'd be nice to get to pick out a super power." There was a hint of bitterness in her voice that I noticed but dismissed. At the time, I figured she was just jealous of Clark. Not that I'd personally want to have super powers, although, once long ago and ironically enough I'd told him I'd have liked to be able to fly.

"…and yet, you'd still need the proof to back up whatever you overheard." Clark called, swooping---which was so weird to see because the only thing I'd ever seen swoop before were birds and they have wings---down.

Chloe grinned up at him as he made his final sweep, and I was kind of surprised that he wasn't just blurring in. He wasn't going very fast, maybe twenty or thirty miles an hour. He kept dropping and came in for a landing, sticking it almost perfectly. I say almost. Unfortunately, while he was able to land on his feet, his momentum still carried him forward and he ended up rolling along with it, falling ass over tea kettle at Chloe's feet.

She shook her head. "I give it a five. You need to be able to actually land on two feet and not your back. If this becomes an Olympic Sport, you're so not even placing."

He stood up and brushed himself off. "I really doubt flying's going to be in the 2008 Olympics unless you all have been holding out on me."

"Yeah, I keep my wings folded under the jackets of my power suits." Chloe deadpanned.

He sniffed. "I'd like to see you stick a landing. You know, learning all this stuff isn't as easy as it looks."

Chloe narrowed her eyes. "At least it's not going to kill you."

"No," he said, rubbing the back of his head, "But I'm not that fond of crashing either." Satisfied with their tete-a-tete, Clark turned to me, his smile broadening. "Hey, you made it."

"Sure I did," I said, smiling, and planting a kiss on the side of his cheek.

"Do you want a lift?" Chloe asked.

"Huh?" I said blinking and looking back at her.

"His landing's only suck if he's alone. He took me this afternoon after a few practice flights himself and then he actually stuck everything. I think he's more careful if he knows broken bones are involved."

"Hey! I'm getting better at the flying stuff, really, and I didn't hear any complaining when I took you all around the farm. In fact," he said, glancing at me, "there was a lot of 'This is amazing, Clark.'"

"There were also Peter Pan jokes. I'm pretty sure I wasn't in complete awe, flyboy."

"Whatever," Clark said, rolling his eyes. "Do you wanna give it a shot? I practiced landing like ten times with Chloe in my arms and I was ten for ten."

"Um, gee, I think I'll pass until I'm sure you aren't going to impersonate the Hindenburg."

Clark's smile faltered for a second before he could regain his composure. "That's okay. I just thought I'd share it with you since it's all been about the 'secrets and lies' for so long, but if you don't want to do it, I understand."

Chloe narrowed her eyes at me but said nothing, which is how it should have been. Clark's and my relationship was none of her damn business as far as I was concerned. "Look, guys, I'd love to stay here and continue my Vince Lombardi impression, but Jimmy and I have dinner plans in the city. Oh, that reminds me," she added, digging into her coat pocket. "Jimmy wants to do a double date thing whenever you guys are up to it. He found a laser tag place in Metropolis and he's really excited about it."

Clark chuckled. "Alright but tell him I only do it if it's boys versus girls."

"Couples only was the deal, and I think that's pretty generous, unless you're telling me you won't be using your powers."

He brought his hand to his chest in mock offense. "I am completely capable of doing sports without powers. I mean, I did it all through gym class."

"Yeah, but I know the temptation to just listen for the heartbeat of your next victim, Clark Kent."

"Okay, so the hiding from me might be hard, but I'll play fair and square." He sniffed. "I still want to do a battle of the sexes one."

"You know you'll lose. Boys never get the upper hand, right Lana?"

I grinned a little at that. "Nope, you definitely don't want to mess with the two of us."

"And somehow that just brings up tons of sophomore year flashbacks."

Chloe and I looked at each other and our smiles widened. "We've trained you well," I said, "at least you know who's the boss."

We spent the night at the farm. We could have driven back and followed behind Chloe, but it had been a while since Clark had come home and even if the farmhands did most of the work now, he still found it comforting to come back and do some of the chores on his own. Most of the afternoon passed with the two of us lying together in the porch swing, exchanging gentle kisses and longing looks. He talked a lot and I listened He had so much going on in his life right now---new journalism classes, random gossip on his mom, his wait to see if he'd gotten the Planet job---and I was still all alone outside of him and Chloe. No social circle to speak of. No long term plans aside from the vague goal of hopefully getting back into classes this summer. I still had no idea what to study but knew for a fact that astronomy no longer interested me. It hit too close to home now. Besides, I couldn't exactly tell him that I spent the day avoiding him, could I?

The lulls in our conversation were sometimes awkward and it always amazed me how freely he and Chloe conversed---how they seemed to not even need words to get their points across with each other---and how with the two of us, even with his secrets gone, it felt like we talked in circles.

He was stroking my back when the topic of conversation changed from relating the events of his interview to about the events of today. "When I'm better at it, you'll go flying with me, won't you?"

I swallowed hard and prayed that this time my stupid tell-tale heart wouldn't speed up. "Clark, I'm not sure about the flying."

He sat up and shifted so that he could look into my eyes. "Are you scared?"

It's odd to be grateful to Lex Luthor for anything, but at that moment I was. He got me into martial arts and I'd had enough training in Eastern meditative arts that I was able with quite a lot of concentration to keep my heartbeat steady. "No, it's not that." It was exactly that. I had absolutely no interest in reliving anything similar to my experiences with Zod, but I wouldn't tell him that. It would crush him.

"What is it then?" He asked, his brows furrowing and his bright eyes dulling a little. He looked as distressed as if I'd just kicked Shelby in front of him.

"I just thought the point of today was to get it under control so the floating wouldn't happen on accident. You can't just go flying around."

"Why not?"

"Because it's not good for you. Sure, you might be able to get away with it on the back forty, but if you get into the habit of doing it at the farm, you'll do it where someone might see you."

"But I can fly really fast. Faster than I can run even, no one's going to see me."

"And what about radar, Clark? There are several bases ringing Metropolis and Smallville, and the equipment on that stuff is sensitive to pick even you up. You want to give the army a real UFO to worry about."

"Well, no."

I leaned in closer to him and gripped his hands between mine. "I don't want you to fly. It's dangerous for you to get caught doing anything unusual. Don't tell me it's not or you would have been blurring around Smallville High all those years."

"Yeah, it was…is. I shouldn't show off my powers, but, Lana, I don't know if I want to give it up. It feels right, like I should be doing it."

I didn't want it to feel right for him to be able to fly. I just wanted it to go away. Of course, at the same time, I was genuinely worried for him. It wasn't just about my discomfort. I mean, that was a big part of it, that's true, but I honestly didn't want him to get caught either. I'd seen what that one psycho had done to Lex when he thought he'd still had Zod's powers. The rest of the human race probably wasn't going to be as accepting as I was or even as that guy had been. If people in general fond out, then Clark could get vivisected.

I didn't want that. What the Hell was Chloe thinking encouraging him to be so showy with his powers?

"I just think…and it's nothing to do with flying being kind of scary, honest…" I said, proud of myself for not flinching. "I just think it's safer for you not to use it. I love you and I don't want you to get caught and taken away from me, not now when we're finally together."

He sighed and leaned forward to accept my kiss. "Alright. I promise that I won't fly."

"You have to promise not to do it ever. Even if it's an emergency, you can't fly. It's just too dangerous. Please, for me." I kissed him again and looked back at him blinking my large doe eyes. That had always been enough to sway him to my side before.

He gave my arm a gentle squeeze and sighed again. "Okay, I promise. Anything to make you happy. I don't want you worrying about me."

I leaned back and snuggled into his side, perfectly content. All was well on the farm for now.