~ Of Booty Calls and Secret Games ~
"How long do you think can we keep holding this charade up, love?"
Killian´s lips parted with a soft groan, as Emma showered his neck and jawline with hot, open-mouthed kisses. Obviously, she chose to ignore him, as always. He couldn´t help but feel annoyed with her again.
The day she came to him has been the best of his whole life. When his glorious savior stood in front of his door in the middle of the night, wearing only thin shorts and a tank top that hadn't left anything to the imagination, he thought that he was dreaming. And when she had thrown her arms around his neck, pulling him into a searing kiss and moaning into his mouth, he was very sure that he has just died and gone to heaven.
But his happiness didn't last very long. After a session of passionate, rough lovemaking, she slipped out if his embrace and grabbed her clothes. He remembered how she had ignored every of his attempts to stop her, even laughed at him for pathetically begging her to stay with him. She was gone a few minutes later, but had insisted on a repetition of this evening.
Even if Killian had to admit that it sounded stupid and pathetic, the thought of her wanting to repeat these certain events, was filling him with hope. At least she hasn´t told him that their shared moment was a mistake or a "one time thing". But soon he had to realize that he wasn´t content with their unspoken agreement. The hours he spent with Emma were the ones he lived for, but it still wasn't what he wanted. No matter how many rounds they were going, no matter how spent they slumped together after their passionate encounters, she would always make sure to leave before she could fall asleep in his very welcoming arms.
"Killian." Emma groaned as she felt his state of mental absence. "Stop overthinking this. I want you."
She shrugged his heavy coat off his shoulders and started pulling off his shirt and vest, as she felt his stormy blue eyes on her.
"Why do you always leave?"
"I won´t leave today, Killian."
"Can you promise me?"
Silence.
Killian´s jaw clenched, as he turned away from her. Her arms went around his waist immediately and she pressed her body into his back to prevent him from moving away. He stiffened as soon as she started placing kisses on the soft skin where old and new scars were crisscrossing each other. He needed to stop her, or he would end up ravishing her yet again. And he couldn´t torture himself with waking up alone afterwards. Not tonight. Not ever again.
"Swan, I don´t think that I am able to keep doing this."
His voice was a hoarse, broken whisper, as he slowly stepped out of her embrace. He took a few steps away from her tempting form, still not trusting himself enough to turn around and face her.
"Why? Wasn´t this what you always wanted?"
He flinched by recognizing her blaming, judging tone. She simply didn´t understand that he wanted more than her body.
"No."
"No? You have followed me around like a lost puppy for months, just to push me away when you got me? Is that all a game for you?" She shouted, her hands furiously grabbing his shoulders, dragging him around roughly, to finally face her.
"Don't you think it´s a bit of a hypocrisy to judge me for playing a game, when you´re clearly the one who´s playing with my feelings, love?"
"Stop acting as if I forced you into this!"
"I never said that-"
"If you´re so unhappy with this situation, then why are you still keeping me around? Why don't you just go and search yourself another whore to satisfy your needs?"
"Emma, I-"
"Why do you keep pushing me away, whenever I´m here with you? Why is it so hard for you to enjoy this, when I-"
Killian interrupted her, by roughly crashing his mouth on hers, forcing his tongue into her willing mouth and hungrily swallowing her gasps. Her hands came up to his head, fingers threading through the soft strands of hair and softly tugging at it. His arms snaked around her slender waist, pulling her close and he gasped as she pushed for more, kissing him back with bruising force, taking his bottom lip between hers and roughly biting down.
It sent a pleasurable shudder down his spine and his arms pulled her closer, hand and hook pressing harder into her lower back. He took a few steps backwards, pulling her with him until his legs hit the mattress of his bed. He sat back and pulled her down with him, without letting go of her lips once.
She held onto his shoulders, as he moved her legs around his, pulling her down around him. He pulled away slightly, gasping for air and staring up at her beautiful features, before dragging his mouth down her neck, kissing and sucking on delicate skin.
Her fingers tugged at his hair once more, pulling him closer, moaning softly, as he bit down on the sensitive skin behind her earlobe.
She could feel the cold metal of his hook on the hem of her shirt, before he dragged it down skillfully, ripping the flimsy material open and leaving an angry pink line on her back. His fingers came up to rip the ruined shirt off her, leaving her in her black lace bra. He moaned as her hand tugged at his chest hair, her head slowly bowing down to lick and bite down on the sensitive skin of his jawline.
Her other hand went down from his head, over his chest, to his arm, where the tattoo with Milah´s name on it was situated. Emma scraped her nails over the colored skin, a rush of jealousy floating through her, as she thought about the woman that Killian had loved for three hundred years. No, she thought. He is mine.
Her hand found its way to his leather pants, tugging it open impatiently, relishing at his groan as her tiny hand grasped him and started stroking him roughly.
Killian´s parted mouth crashed down on hers once more, his tongue fighting hers for dominance in a passionate battle.
His hook came up to her bra, ripping the fabric off her with a few tugs, throwing the fabric away carelessly. Breaking the kiss, he rolled her over, hovering over her and pulling her shorts off her, leaving her with only her panties.
Emma´s hands were grabbing his hair again, as his mouth trailed down her chest, teeth roughly tugging at one nipple, while his hand caressed the other one. His hook ripped through the only thing that kept him from seeing her bare in front of him, with a swift motion.
He slowly kissed his way down her body, when her hands tugged at his hair once more, pulling him up again. "No, just take me, Killian." She growled, hands pushing his opened pants down, helping him taking it off and wrapping his legs around his waist.
He groaned as he felt her dripping wet and ready for him. He leaned down to capture her lips with his once more, and moved into her roughly, making her scream out his name in pleasure, her hands clinging to him and urging him to continue.
Killian buried his face in the crook of her neck as he picked up the pace, pounding into her hard and fast, biting down on her skin and setting her body on fire.
Her hips moved up to meet every hard thrust with equal fever, crying out is the combination of his fingers pressing against her clit and his hook digging roughly into her thigh, made her shiver. She knew she was close, it was building more and more, making her shake and hold on to him, harder.
He leaned up to kiss her once more, and pulled away breathlessly, telling her how good she felt, wrapped tightly around him, how much he needed this, needed her.
Emma was starting to shake violently around him and he moved his hips up faster to slam into her with even more force as he continued moving his hand against her, leaning up to watch her face, making sure she was looking at him, making sure that she would never forget the he was the one who made her feel like this.
With the next deep stroke, she let out a sharp cry and he felt the heat rush through her body as she clenched down hard around him and he continued his movements as she rode out the waves of pleasure, pulling him right over the edge with her.
Her name tumbled over his trembling lips, sounding like a prayer, as he pulled her close, collapsing against her, still buried inside of her. Resting his head against her heaving chest, he listened to her shallow breathing, relishing in the short blissful moment when he could hold her in the after match of the pleasure he just made her feel.
But soon enough, he felt her squirming against him, her intention was clear – to get him off her and flee as long as she could.
Killian refused to move and chose to pull her even closer, ignoring her sounds of annoyance. He remembered the question she had wanted to ask him before he interrupted her with his kiss.
"Why is it so hard for you to enjoy this?"
"Because I love you, Swan", he said and she gasped, completely shocked and out of her comfort zone.
The following minutes were the most irritating of his whole existence. His eyes never left her face, as she sat there, on the bed, only a few inches away from him, but still so distant, that it was nearly impossible for him to reach out for her. She remained silent, not even wanting to meet his eyes and it drove him crazy.
"Bloody hell, woman. Say something", he said, his hand coming up to scratch behind his ear.
"What do you want me to say?" she whispered back, sounding so broken and confused, that Killian couldn´t help but silently chide himself for even mentioning his feelings for her when she clearly wasn´t ready to acknowledge that their relationship consisted of more than sex.
But for fuck´s sake, he just had to say it. If he kept that to himself any longer, he might as well have exploded. He wanted her to know that she was loved, that she didn´t have to be alone and cold anymore. He wanted her to know, that he was always there for her, to keep her warm and to make her happy.
"Anything", he said, his hand reaching out for her without his consent, calming her with feather-light touches to her face. She leaned into him for a moment, closing her eyes, and in that moment, he hoped that this wouldn´t end so bad after all. Maybe this was just the push she had needed.
But when she opened her eyes, the moment was gone. Killian didn´t say another word, while he was watching her getting dressed in a hurry. She couldn´t seem to get away from him fast enough and he knew it was his fault.
"You´re just going to leave?" he asked, as she opened the door. The tone of his voice made her look back at him, and he saw regret in her beautiful eyes.
"I just can´t", she started, her face scrunching up as she tried to figure out what it was that bothered her so much. Then she said "I`m sorry, Killian".
The door fell closed behind her and Killian stayed where he was for a long time, knowing that sooner or later, he would get her. He knew he would, because he was never going to give up.