Mark Sloan came home distraught that night. Sure, he now had a baby on the way, and he´d raise him or her with his best friend and her girlfriend, and he was extremely happy at the chance to be a real father this time around, to really be involved in everything regarding his child. But he couldn´t help but being sad, but being miserable at the same time. He wanted this baby, he really, really did, but he wanted to raise this baby not only with Callie and her girlfriend, but with his own girlfriend, with Lexie, too. But he knew that it wasn´t a possibility. And that was his own fault, he knew that, too.

It was plain and simple: he just shouldn´t have slept with Callie. That was it. Sure, then Callie wouldn´t be pregnant with his baby, but he would still have the love of his life, and in a few years, they would´ve had kids, too.

Now he had the baby, but he didn´t have the possibility to be with Lexie ever again, because he had messed up. Again. God, what was it with him? And then he had told her in the absolutely worst way possible, by letting her guess it and not being straight forwarded with the news. Maybe then he would´ve had a chance to talk to her, to explain himself, to beg her for forgiveness. But that probably wouldn´t have helped either, he guessed. And sadly, he didn´t have the time to worry about the "what-if"´s. It would only make him more miserable than he was already, as if that was even possible. Which he doubted, to be honest. But anyways, now he had to focuse on Callie´s pregnancy and after that he would focuse on his child. Hopefully that would distract him and numb the pain of his broken heart. Even though he doubted that, too.

But he tried not to think about Lexie too much as he slipped out of his leather jacket and his boots before setting down his keys on the kitchen counter and making his way to his bedroom. Of course, he failed told himself once again that he now had to focuse his attention on Callie and their...

Ok. Maybe right now he had to focuse on Lexie.

Who was lying in the bed.

In his bed.

Lexie. Was. In. HIS. BED.

Maybe...ok...maybe he did have a minimal chance at reconcilisation with his...with Lexie. He dared to smile just a tiny bit and allowed himself to hope against hope for a future with Lexie in it.

He changed as quitely as humanly possible, as to not wake her up, before slowly sinking down on his side of the bed. Which maybe was a mistake, he realized a moment later. Because the second the matress shifted under his weight, Lexie began to stir. mark bit the inside of his cheek and let out an under his breath cursed "Crap!", before Lexie opened her eyes and looked directly into his. Which meant, he was looking into her eyes, too. And what he saw in them broke his already unstable heart into a billion of tiny pieces. Because he knew exactly what. or better who, had caused the tears and the look of intense hurt and betryal in them. It was himself. Him and his stupid, hypocratic, moronic, idiotic, gitish, prattish actions. Lexie blinked a few times, before sitting up in the bed and sniffling quietly. She wiped a tear out of her eye and Mark began to speak:

"Lexie, I-", but she interrupted him:

"Can...can I ask you a question? Uh...two actually."

Her tired voice was laced with utter defeat and sadness. Mark´s already shattered heart broke once again for her.

"Of course you can ask me, Lexie. Anything. You...you can scream and yell at me, or you can hit me, if you want. Just, please, do something.I don´t care how you react. Just, please, do react."

She sat up a little straighter, sniffled again, before asking with a small voice:

"Do...do you promise...do you promise me, right here and right now, to never ever ever in your life sleep with a woman that isn´t me, again? I mean-"

"I promise to never ever ever do that again, Lexie. Never again.", he interrupted her in a voice, that he prayed was convincing. Because he meant what he said. Every single word of it. If there was a chance at a future with her and she only wanted him to promise her not to sleep with anybody while she learned to trust him again, then he would. No matter how long it took her to do so. As long as there was a chance, hewould wait. Lexie nodded quietly and her eyes blaazed over with something Mark couldn´t quite recognize. She took a deep breath and said:

"Mark, I...I want to talk about this, I do. But...right now I just want to sleep. My...my day was bad enough today and i haven´t really slept last night-"

"I´m sorry.", Mark rasped an Lexie gave him just the idea of a smile before continueing:

"I...I´m just really tired and I only want to sleep like a week. We...we both have the day off tomorrow, I asked the Chief and we can go through all of this then, because it´s better in bright daylight than at night. So...I mean...it´s not...not a problem if you don´t want to, I can just do it instead...but...could you please sleep on the couch tonight? I...I just need another night alone...I´m sorry. It...It´ll be just tonight, I promise. But I need tonight to myself."

She looked up at him with pleading eyes, underlining how much she needed this night alone and he felt his eyes brimming with tears, because he was the hypocrite to hurt her yet again. The look in her eyes was his fault and just days before he´d promised himself he´d kill the one who ever would cause her pain that intense. How ironical.

"Lexie", he began, "I´ll sleep on the couch for the next year if you want me to and if it means there is even the slightest chance that you won´t leave me, ok? I´ll do everything, absolutely everything for you. And if you only want me to sleep on the couch and to not have sex, then I will gladly do that. Because I love you, okay? I love you, Alexandra Caroline Grey. and I pray, I pray, that one day you will love and trust me again, too."

Lexie was crying in earnest by now and Mark scooted over to her to wipe the tears away and cradle her into his arms. Her tears soaked his shirt and they stayed like that, with his arms around her small body frame, for a while. After she composed herself a bit she lifted her head from his shoulder and he wiped the tear streaks from her cheeks.

She was thankful that she hadn´t had any make-up on, otherwise her cheeks would be stained black now and there would probably be mascara and eyeliner puddles under her eyes and on his shirt. As if she didn´t look horrible enough as it was.

"I´m sorry, I´m sorry, I´m sorry, Lexie. I´m so unbelievably sorry, sweetheart. I never wanted to hurt you. And...and if you decide, that maybe, maybe you´ll stick around at least for a little while, I promise, it won´t be the way it was like with Sloan."

Tears were threatening to fall out of both their eyes as they locked their gazes. Lexie sniffled againa and nodded:

"I know. But...let´s talk about it tomorrow."

Mark nodded and whispered a "Good Night", before standing up and heading toward sthe living room of his apartment. He was already in the door of his bedroom, when he heard exie calling him. He turned around and she said:

"I love you. Even though I really, really hate you right now, I still love you. I just thought you should know that."

mark swallowed the lmp in his throat:

" I love you, too, Lexie. Please don´t ever forget that even for just a second."

"Good night, Mark." she whispered and they both went t olay down. Lexie on her side of his bed, Mark on the couch.