Harry walked into the Potions dungeon, hoping to serve his detention quickly and get it over with. "Potter. How nice
of you to join me. Have a seat," Snape said with a nasty smirk as he motioned to the lone desk toward the back of the room;
the rest of the desks had been pushed against the wall. "Now, wait just a moment while I get ready." He then disappeared
behind a curtain strung up where his desk should be, except it stretched all across the room, like a stage backdrop. Harry heard
Snape mutter something, but nothing changed as far as he could see. Then Snape stepped out from behind the curtain. Harry
felt his stomach turn.
He was wearing a white tee shirt that showed his stomach, plaid pants that looked revolting, and pigtails. Yes, pigtails.
Snape's greasy hair was sticking in every which way. Draco, Crabbe, and Goyle rushed out from behind the curtain and
Draco hit the PLAY button on the boombox he was carrying. Snape waited for the intro, and to Harry's horror, started singing:
"Potter
I so detest you
You've got detention
Oh, what can you do?"
"Hope I can maintain my sanity," Harry muttered to himself.
"Potter you spin me around
Oh, the earth is moving, and . . .
And I'm going to pound you into the ground."
"Someone needs to learn about rhythm," Harry said. Luckily no one heard him.
"Every time I look at you
My head starts pounding,
Oh what can I do?"
"Try an Aspirin," said Harry, rolling his eyes.
"Hating you means so much more
More than anything I ever felt before
You drive me crazy
You little creep
I so hate you
You're in too deep."
"You got that right."
"Uh oh
Crazy, oh you little fake
Potter thinking of you
Gives me a headache."
"Good grief," said Harry, leaning back in his seat and crossing his arms over his chest.
"Tell me
You so hate me
That I'm the only you'll see,"
"For detention!" his back-up singers, Draco and his friends, shouted.
"Please tell me I'm the blue
Please say I'm not wasting my hate on you."
"You're wasting it? That's a laugh," Harry told him. But Snape paid no heed, thank God.
"Hating you means so much more
More than anything I've ever felt before
You drive me crazy
You little creep,"
"Thanks," Harry said sardonically.
"I so hate you
You're in too deep
Uh oh
Crazy, oh you little fake
Every day and night
You drive me crazy
(You drive me crazy Potter)"
"Thank you, I try," Harry mumbled to himself.
"I so hate you
You're in too deep
Oh ohhhhhh
Crazy
(Oh you little fake)
Potter thinking of you gives me a headache
Potter thinking of you gives me a headache!"
Draco switched the boombox off, and he, Crabbe, and Goyle left. Snape zapped himself back into his robes.
"So, Potter, what did you think of my performance?"
"Um…"Harry didn't know what kind of answer he wanted.
"Did we learn our lesson?" Snape asked with a wicked smile.
Harry nodded. As he left, he muttered, "Yeah, today's lesson: Muggle music sucks."
[A/N – I know it's odd. And I'm sorry it's BS (who doesn't love her initials? ;')), but it fit so perfectly. Does anyone know
what to call the song for James' Big Debut? It's not a filk – I only changed a couple words – but it's not a songfic either. I
know this one is a filk, and a darn good one at that! ::Not that I'm bragging or anything.:: As for James' Big Debut, duh it's
future music. Small technicality. ;')]