Just saw At World's End for the first time today. I cried so hard at one point, and it's been haunting me for the last 10 hours, so I wanted to write about it to try to get it out of my system. I'm sorry if anything's not accurate. Hope you all enjoy it.
Worth It
by CSIslave
People seem to think I'm not important. I know, in the big scheme of things I am a tiny, infinitesimal speck of nothingness. I started greatly, a captain of a ship. Things were perfect, and my life was nothing but smooth sailing. I even had a woman I loved and I was sure she'd take me once I had the courage to confront her in a romantic manner. But Elizabeth didn't love me, and I couldn't take her away from the man she truly loved. She agreed to marry me once… I'll never forget that day. I saw love, true love, glimmering in her eyes as she started into mine. I now realize that love wasn't for me… it could never be for me. Despite the fact that she didn't love me, I loved her more than I have ever loved any other person or thing on this earth. I gave it all up for her; I let her friend and my enemy, Jack Sparrow, sail away. I watched her fall even more in love with William Turner. I was left alone. What's more, I was demoted from Commodore to criminal. Apparently, my letting Jack get away was an unforgivable act. I sunk as low as I ever had been. Looking back, I remember the only reason I didn't take a gun and put it to my head was this tiny glimmer of hope that I would someday see Elizabeth again. I knew she would need me, someday. Maybe not in the way I needed her… but she would somehow.
And I did see her again. But I was not myself. Drunken and driven mad by the fact that William Turner still owned her heart and desperate to have what I thought made me happy- my power- back, I fought, paying her little attention. I can't believe now that I fought her friends and the man she loved. I must have looked a complete fool. Only after she left me yet again did I realize how much I had sacrificed for petty revenge. Who knew if I would see my love again? I realized once more how desperately I needed her.
There's something else you must understand. Me needing Elizabeth so entirely is not what I normally am. I am not a desperate man. I've never needed to be. I have always had things waiting for me on a golden platter. When I fell from, power, I missed that. I hated being desperate, hated having nothing to distract me from the dull ache in my heart. When I was pardoned, I didn't think twice about accepting my position back. Every bit of logic I had told me that everything would return to the way it was. But there was still something missing, and I had to admit to myself that I wasn't happy. The ease of life had returned, but the place where Elizabeth had stood was empty, and I was more alone than I had ever been.
My commander, Beckett, was a cruel man, it was easy to see, but I followed his orders nonetheless, hoping somehow it would bring me back to Elizabeth.
And I had luck. I boarded that ship under orders, simply to imprison the crew. As my men dragged up two members from below deck, I reconized her. I called out her name and she ran to me. I stared for a moment, then pulled her close, embracing her. I found her once more. Elizabeth… had it been years since I'd seen her? Just months? Either way, her radiant beauty caught me off guard. I was overjoyed. I felt happier than I had ever been. She was presented as Captain of the ship. This suprised me as much as anything. My beautiful Elizabeth had grown so much since I'd last seen her. As I ordered that her crew be taken as beneath deck, I knew I was still as in love with her as I had been the day I met her. I offered her a place in my quarters, thinking we could finally be happy together. She refused, saying she would stay with her men. She threw harsh words at me, blaming me for her fathers' death. I'm an ignorant fool, I thought to myself, stunned. I couldn't speak, knowing that she was angry with me. I bit my tongue till it bled as my men ushered her towards a cell. She walked with dignity and pride, her dark eyes filled with hatred for me. I swallowed the metallic tasting liquid in my mouth and turned away.
I pace my room, panting heavily. Elizabeth is below deck, guarded by hideous creatures that had more strength than I ever would. My men wouldn't disobey Lord Beckett. But I could. I could in a heartbeat for her. When I had first fallen for Elizabeth, I'd been as stiff and as cold as Beckett is. I shudder to think that because of that, Elizabeth didn't love me. But I have changed since then. I've changed for her. And now I can prove it to her.
I run below deck, my heart leaping as I look into her dark eyes. I swear to her, pouring my soul into my words, that I didn't know about her father. And my hearts beats again as I see understanding in her eyes. Her comrades rush to the deck, crawling the rope to the ship waiting nearby. Soon, Elizabeth and I remain aboard. She stares into my eyes, and I finally see love that I know is for me. But it's not what she wants. She loves me because I saved her and her crew. She loves me as nothing more than a friend. My heart crumbles as I realize this, and I can hear the distorted crewmembers of Davy Jones coming to find us. I tell her to go, take the rope.
"I'm not leaving you," she frantically says, searching my eyes with her own. I smile softly, trying not to let the tears flow.
"Our fates were always intertwined, Elizabeth." She looks up at me still, confusion in her eyes. "But never joined." Her face and eyes are questioning me, and I can't help it. That glimmer in my heart has gone out; I know I will never see her again. I kiss her slowly, wishing time would stop and keep us there forever. She doesn't pull away, and somehow this has made my life worth every second I was without her. Her expression is a mixture of sorrow and confusion… not disgust, not hatred. This it worth it all.
She begins the crawl across the rope. I watch her until I hear footsteps behind me. I turn to see what was once a man covered in barnacles holding a large pointed piece of wood. Hysterically, I tell him to drop it.
"James!" Elizabeth's cry reaches my ears and I turn, watching as she turns around and comes back to help me. I watch her for a moment, thinking of what to do. Pulling out my gun, I shoot the rope, watching as my love falls into the ocean. I feel a searing pain in my stomach and see that the horrendous man has forced the wood through my stomach. Struggling to remain conscious, I fall to my knees. I think I hear Elizabeth calling my name again, but it could just be a dream. Davy Jones himself appears in my blurring vision.
"James Norrington, do you fear death?" I know I'm dying. My breath is growing shorter, and I'm enraged that the last person I heard saying my name was the horrible creature. I thrust my sword into his chest, cursing him with my last breath for replacing the sweet sound of her saying my voice with that of his own voice, taunting and mocking me. My head turns to the side as strength leaves my body. Elizabeth floating in the water is the last thing I see.
"Elizabeth…" I breathe softly, praying to any God I know to keep her safe while I cannot. And then darkness.